Before Candles Against the Sea (JA Qui/Obi Drama) *COMPLETED* replies 8/15 Thanks to my readers!

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by maychorian, Mar 7, 2005.

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  1. maychorian Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 7, 2005
    star 4
    I'll post every Monday and Thursday until I catch up with the "other" site, and then it will hopefully be once a week. WARNING: Extremely heavy angst in the first couple of parts. To the point of melodrama, honestly. Teenagers, I tell ya. ::shakes head:: It lightens up a bit after that.

    Edit: If any of you come late and want to read this story without wading through the reviews, it's also available here: Candles Against the Sea. May be very slight editing differences between the two versions, but that's all. And sometimes this version is later, sometimes that. ::shrug:: Someday I'll fix it all.

    Title: Candles Against the Sea
    Author: Maychorian
    Timeframe: JA (Obi-Wan is 13)
    Genre: Angst, Drama
    Characters: Obi-Wan Kenobi, Qui-Gon Jinn
    Summary: It is several months after Melida/Daan, Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon have been working to re-establish their bond. It?s been going well. Qui-Gon seems perfectly satisfied. But Obi-Wan is not . . . .
    Spoilers: Early JA novels
    Disclaimer: Not mine, making no money, blah blih-blih blah. I?m just borrowing a couple of my favorite people from Uncle George. The others are mine?ask to borrow.
    Author?s Note: Okay, so you?ve probably already figured out where this is going. I know that this story has been written before, many, many times, by a number of very talented writers. The whole story of how Qui and Obi deepen their relationship from the boring, work-a-day master/apprentice relationship of the books to the vibrant, wonderful father/son relationship we all know and love from good fanfic. It could almost be a genre itself. This is merely my version of how it may have happened, which I?m hoping to complete with a minimum of Obi-torture. (Not that I dislike Obi-torture. It?s just . . . been done.) Don?t worry though, there will be lots of angst. Bunches and tons and truckloads of angst. Nothing good ever happens to these two without a little suffering, be it physical, mental, or spiritual.

    Candles Against the Sea
    Chapter 1: Frustration

    ?Master, may I go for a walk? Outside??

    Qui-Gon looked up from the datapad he was studying. ?We?re in the downtown district of the most dangerous city on Sylelius.?

    Obi-Wan did his utmost not to fidget where he stood. ?Yes, Master.?

    Qui-Gon waited, one eyebrow lifted.

    Obi-Wan sighed. ?But . . .?

    The older Jedi nodded in satisfaction. ?Yes, I knew the ?but? was coming.?

    ?Yes, Master. But Ambassador Grenik did say that it isn?t all that bad, really, and that Jedi are revered here, so we?re very unlikely to encounter any trouble, at least not from the citizenry.?

    Qui-Gon leaned back against the plush couch he sat on. ?Obi-Wan, you are thirteen years old.?

    ?And I am a Jedi.?

    Qui-Gon waited.

    ?Please, Master, I just want to get out for a little fresh air. I feel . . . a bit stifled.?

    The austere Master allowed a smile at that, the flesh around his eyes crinkling in deep amusement. ?Padawan, you?ve been all but bouncing off the walls everywhere we go. You were ready to fly apart at a touch. I didn?t dare put my hand on your shoulder for fear you?d explode and we?d never collect all the pieces.?

    Was that really why Qui-Gon hadn?t touched his shoulder for so many days? Obi-Wan shook it off, trying to contain his dismay. ?Was I that obvious, Master? I truly did my best not to be disrespectful . . .?

    ?No, Obi-Wan, you weren?t obvious. I doubt anyone noticed besides me. Still, I could tell that your control was becoming a bit . . . strained.?

    Obi-Wan nodded, his shoulders slumping in defeat. Qui-Gon would probably make him stay in now, do some extra meditation and concentration exercises. He obviously needed the practice.

    Qui-Gon closed his eyes, and the Padawan knew that he was reaching out with his awareness, listening to the Force. It always impressed him, how easily Qui-Gon was able to fall into a light trance, finding answers, while it took Obi-Wan hours and hours of meditation to
  2. dianethx Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    But, but, I love angst!!!! It's my favorite thing of all the genres. :D Glad to see there is going to be a lot of it. And I always look forward to seeing how Qui/Obi's relationship goes according to different authors.

    I liked the whole set-up, Obi-Wan being so anxious and not knowing why. Qui-Gon letting him go out... Of course, he isn't paying attention to where he is going, is he?

    Good job. Looking forward to more.
  3. Layren Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 28, 2003
    star 5
    Awwwww and I love angst too ;)


    I can't wait for more .. deliciously soaking up all the angst..
  4. jodiwent Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Feb 11, 2000
    star 4
    You know I love angst, and I like a little melo with my drama. You deliver.
  5. PadawanKitara Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2001
    star 5
  6. VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 8
    Oh wow! I can't wait to see what comes next. An amazing beginning.
  7. Kynstar Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 2, 2004
    star 5
    Aww poor Obi :( There ain't nothing wrong in wanting a father figure! Poor kid... in time perhaps young one, in time.

    Great start!! :D Can't wait for more! Loved how you're portraying Obi's angst there!
  8. LuvEwan Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 24, 2002
    star 4
    I can tell this is going to be fantastic, maychorian. :) What a lovely beginning, with the descriptions of Obi-Wan's emotions so beautifully written. =D= Can't wait for more.
  9. Healer_Leona Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 7, 2000
    star 9
    I didn?t dare put my hand on your shoulder for fear you?d explode and we?d never collect all the pieces.? [/i Cute line. ?The Force is telling me to let you go. .. one would think that means it's safe.. wouldn't one??? Excellent angst and Obi-Wan's thoughts are superb!

    Post soon, post often...
  10. mad4dos Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Feb 3, 2003
    star 1
    nice start look forward to reading more :)

    mad4dos
  11. Jemmiah Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 5, 2000
    star 5
    Uh-oh! Do I sense trouble brewing here? :) I think I do! I love angst, the more the merrier in fact! So I should think this will prove to be a bit of a treat. Great start: can't wait for the next part! :D
  12. tangled_sphere Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 28, 2003
    star 4
    Great start! The relationship between Qui and Obi is wonderful.

    Really enjoyed Obi-Wan's thoughts about Qui. That makes so much sense that the thought would cause disquiet. Now where is he going? :D
  13. maychorian Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 7, 2005
    star 4
    diane And I always look forward to seeing how Qui/Obi's relationship goes according to different authors.

    Awesome! I think you'll enjoy this.

    Layren

    More angst coming right up.

    jodiwent and I like a little melo with my drama.

    And maybe a little Jello with your . . . erm . . . llama? Yeah, that's it.

    PadawanKitara count me in

    ::Adds Kitara's name to growing list::

    VaderLVR64

    ::basks in the superfluous praise:: You are spoiling me. Stop it. No, I changed my mind. :D

    Kynstar There ain't nothing wrong in wanting a father figure! Poor kid...

    Obi's gonna need something besides his own thoughts to convince him of that.

    LuvEwan What a lovely beginning, with the descriptions of Obi-Wan's emotions so beautifully written.

    [face_blush] Thank you! I wanted to show the dichotomy . . . the Jedi say they want no emotion, yet they are founded on relationships . . . oh wow, that line sounds familiar. Are we channeling the same angsty spirit? (Believe or not, I wrote this before I'd read anything of yours!)

    Healer_Leona one would think that means it's safe.. wouldn't one???

    Yes, one would. Fortunately for us, the Force is not always concerned about safety.

    mad4dos

    Thank you!

    Jemmiah Do I sense trouble brewing here? I think I do!

    You are perceptive! But then, do these two EVER avoid trouble? I think not!

    tangled_sphere Really enjoyed Obi-Wan's thoughts about Qui. That makes so much sense that the thought would cause disquiet.

    Yeah, all those fics I read that sort of took it for granted that Obi and Qui would have a father/son relationship got me to thinking, and I wondered if there was a realistic way to show it happening. So here we go!

    Thank you, all! Here comes a double dose of angst and trouble!
  14. maychorian Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 7, 2005
    star 4
    Candles Against the Sea
    Chapter 2: Desperation

    Qui-Gon answered a knock on the suite door to find Ambassador Tyril Grenik standing there. He was a tall, thin, nervous-looking human with pale hair and eyes and long fingers that twitched as he spoke. ?Ah, Master Jinn! I trust you are settling in well??

    Qui-Gon nodded deeply and stepped back to let their official liaison into the room. ?We are indeed, Ambassador. Obi-Wan and I are not usually accommodated in such luxury.?

    ?Ah.? A thin chuckle emerged from the long, white throat. ?Well, you are very welcome, to be sure. Nothing but the best for the Jedi. Do you have any questions, needs, concerns? I am at your service for the length of your stay.?

    Qui-Gon indicated the datapad he still held in his right hand. ?You have given us quite a good overview. Tomorrow when we meet with regional representatives to talk about what citizenship in the Republic can do for Sylelius, I hope I?ll be able to answer all of your questions and concerns.?

    Grenik smiled, only a little shakily. Qui-Gon was a bit surprised that the planet had chosen for its liaison a person who seemingly wore his emotions on his face, but he found himself liking the man, nevertheless.

    The Ambassador glanced around the apartment, some of the tension leaking from his body. ?Has your apprentice retired so early? We have a small reception planned in an hour that you are both invited to attend.?

    ?Obi-Wan asked for permission to go for a walk, and I granted it. I asked him to stay within five or six blocks of the hotel, though, so I?m sure he?ll be back in time.?

    The ambassador?s pale eyes widened suddenly, shoulders tensing up again. ?But, Master Jinn, five blocks away to the west is one of the worst neighborhoods in Reshifc! Oh, I do apologize, I am so sorry you weren?t informed, this area of town is very well developed, but we are still working to control the low-rent district, and the crime just keeps resurfacing, especially down on Onorda Street, oh dear, I hope he doesn?t get into any trouble??

    ?Ambassador Grenik,? Qui-Gon interrupted, trying to calm the man?s rising panic, even as his own small, sick fear rose in his heart. ?Ambassador, there?s no need. Obi-Wan may not have even headed in that direction. And if any trouble arises, he can take care of himself. I do not sense any danger for him.?

    ?Oh, but, Master Jinn, are you completely sure? He?s such a young boy, and I know you Jedi are special, but anything can happen, and it certainly would be a tragedy if??

    ?Obi-Wan is strong and smart and capable,? Qui-Gon said firmly. ?He?s been through much worse than this before. He even helped stop a centuries-old civil war, and he has escaped unharmed from situations that would have killed many a man much older and stronger than he.? But not by himself, his heart whispered. Not when he was unaware of the danger. And he hasn?t escaped completely unharmed, has he, Jinn?

    Qui-Gon sighed. ?He can handle one bad neighborhood,? he concluded gently. Still, after he had calmed the man down and persuaded him not to send out a search party, and after he had procured the location of the reception and kindly seen the liaison out the door, the small sick fear in his heart still had not gone away.

    He sat down on the couch, a small frown forming between his eyes. The Jedi relaxed against the cushions, closing his eyes and reaching out. Still he felt no danger. He accessed their bond, and came against some incredibly tight mental shields. Obi-Wan didn?t want him in his head right now, and Qui-Gon would not betray the trust they had built by forcing his way in.

    The Master tapped gently along the border of the shields, wanting to at least get an idea of what his Padawan was experiencing. At one point the shield was stretched rather thin, and Qui-Gon was disturbed by the turmoil he sensed roiling within. He couldn?t get a sense of what was causing it, only feel that Obi-Wan was in a great deal of emotional distress. That was probably why he?d wanted to take a walk
  15. Layren Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 28, 2003
    star 5
    Ooh Obi... don't do anything!

    You shoulda just walked right on past without stopping :p But if he did that he wouldn't live with himself would he? :p

    Excellent chapter!
  16. LuvEwan Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 24, 2002
    star 4
    He?d simply helped Obi-Wan heal the same way he would help any stray animal he found lying injured in the gutter. That line really got me. I think that's the feeling Obi-Wan carried with him, that he was just another hard-luck case that Qui-Gon felt compelled, out of sheer humanity, to help.

    I love all the introspection. It's what separates writing from other mediums. It has so much to it. Especially when you're writing it. ;)
  17. VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 8
    Another brilliant installment. I also loved the introspection, it adds so much to the story and our understanding of the characters. Bravo!

    =D=
  18. Kynstar Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 2, 2004
    star 5
    Aha! Qui now realizes that something has been troubling Obi. :( Poor Obi... his thoughts could lead to baaaaaad things if he isn't careful!

    Oh dear...I hope the wee one is all right? Guess we'll find out in the next chapter? :D Great work!
  19. jodiwent Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Feb 11, 2000
    star 4
    As much as I LOVE reading stories where Obi is injured, or deathly ill, or kidnaped by sadistic megolomaniacs, and worked over a bit ;) it bothers me that Obi is thinking that might be a way to get Qui's attention.

    Excelent post.
  20. maychorian Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 7, 2005
    star 4
    Layren But if he did that he wouldn't live with himself would he?

    Nope. And that's why we love him, the cute little trouble-magnet.

    LuvEwan That line really got me. I think that's the feeling Obi-Wan carried with him, that he was just another hard-luck case that Qui-Gon felt compelled, out of sheer humanity, to help.

    Yeah, and I don't think Obi ever really got over that, no matter how much their relationship deepened and grew over the years. Some wounds are just too deep for complete healing--they can only be forgotten for a time. That council scene in TPM really kills me now. Ack.

    VaderLVR64 I also loved the introspection, it adds so much to the story and our understanding of the characters.

    Good! :) You'll be hearing Qui-Gon's side later.

    Kynstar Poor Obi... his thoughts could lead to baaaaaad things if he isn't careful!

    LOL! Rest assured that they will! (Though perhaps not the same sorts of things you're thinking about.)

    jodiwent it bothers me that Obi is thinking that might be a way to get Qui's attention.

    Me too. And you can be sure that it would bother Qui a WHOLE lot, if he knew.

    Thanks, everyone! In this installment, the actual plot begins to kick in.


  21. maychorian Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 7, 2005
    star 4
    Candles Against the Sea
    Chapter 3: Explanation

    Obi-Wan clipped his lightsaber on his belt and knelt by the little fellow, carefully touching the shaking shoulder. He spoke gently and quietly, hoping not to frighten the child, who was obviously used to mistreatment. ?Hey, are you all right? Can I help you??

    The boy started at the fleeting touch, and peeked at the Jedi with one dark eye, head hidden beneath the frail protection of his skinny arms. His clothes hung on him in rags, and Obi-Wan could see dark bruises and livid abrasions through the rends in his tunic. His hair was dark, shaggy, and unkempt, but his one visible eye was sharp with intelligence and wit.

    And fear, which slowly faded as the child studied the young Jedi. ?You . . . you ain?t gonna hurt me??

    Obi-Wan shook his head vigorously. ?No, never. It?s wrong to hurt little ones.?

    The boy slowly straightened a bit, sitting with his shoulders hunched against the wall, still watching him as if waiting for a blow. ?Yeah, ?m a little one.?

    ?How old are you??

    The boy held up seven grubby fingers.

    ?I?m thirteen, and my name is Obi-Wan. What?s yours??

    ?Nibbi. ?M a street vrelt. Dirty. You look like you came from uptown. Don?t wanna be ?round here, lemme tell ya.?

    Obi-Wan sat cross-legged on the filthy pavement, still meeting that frank gaze, as if challenging the little boy to tell him he couldn?t handle himself here. ?Do you want me to go away? I would rather not, for a little while.?

    Nibbi drew his knees up to his chest and regarded the Padawan soberly. ?No, you don?t hafta go if you don?t wanna. I like you.?

    Obi-Wan grinned. ?Thank you. I like you too.?

    ?You made the big boys go away.?

    ?Yes. I?d like to make them leave you alone for good. That was cruel, their deciding to knock you around just because they could. Do they often do that??

    The child?s small sigh held far too much weariness and pain, as if he had seen enough sorrows for a dozen lifetimes. ?Yeah. Ev?y time they see me. I usually hide when I see ?em comin?, but I wasn?t fast enough this time.?

    ?I?m sorry, Nibbi. Why do they hurt you??

    Small shoulders lifted in a painful shrug, a wince crossing the hunger-hollowed face. ??Cause I don?t wanna give ?em the credits I beg. ?Cause I got in their way this one time, called the constables when they was tryin? to rob this old Bothan who wandered down here from uptown. But mostly just ?cause I?m here.?

    Obi-Wan felt terribly helpless. ?I?m sorry, Nibbi.? That one phrase just wasn?t enough to express how sorry he was, how his outrage rose against a galaxy that would allow innocents to suffer like this, how he had to fight to release his anger to the Force. ?Nibbi, why are you on the street??

    The boy?s expression suggested that Obi-Wan had just asked for an explanation of why nerfs did not give birth to rancors. ??Cause I don?t got no home.?

    ?Well, yes, I gathered that, but the information I read indicated that Sylelius had a very good charity and foster system in place. Why aren?t you being taken care of??

    Nibbi?s dark eyes stared away over Obi-Wan?s right shoulder, distant and troubled. ?Was in a foster house after my mama and papa died. Wasn?t no good. The dad liked his belt too much, and the mom, she thought there wasn?t nuff food to go ?round, so I usually got nothin?. I ran away. Don?t wanna go back, no never nuh uh. I hide when the constables come lookin? for charity cases. ?M never goin? back. This?s better.?

    Obi-Wan sighed deeply, unwilling to imagine a home so horrible that the street was better. It was amazing that the little boy had trusted him this quickly and completely, sharing his story so freely. He had hoped that a quiet, kind conversation would open the child up enough to let the Padawan touch him. Now was probably as good a time as any to test that idea.

    ?Thank you for telling me, Nibbi,? he said gently. ?Will you let me see where they hit you? It must hurt a lot.?

    The dark, troubled gaze met his again. The boy seemed to shrink against the wall, studying the Jedi wit
  22. LuvEwan Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 24, 2002
    star 4
    Now as soon as I saw that a 'plot' was going to start, I was skeptical. Plots usually interfere with mush. :D

    But this was lovely as always, maychorian. How Obi-Wan helped the child without thinking, and how he was uncaring of his Master's bewilderment at the use of his underdeveloped Force powers. It was all so well-done. =D=
  23. Kynstar Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 2, 2004
    star 5
    Awww that was sweet at the end ;) See Qui does care for you kid! :D

    Wow that was a lot that Obi did! I'd be more than worn out too! Let alone it appears that it hasn't been done by too many folks to begin with. :D He's astounded Qui! [face_laugh]
  24. Jemmiah Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 5, 2000
    star 5
    Nice couple of posts there, Maychorian! Obi-Wan's rescuing of the youngster was very nicely handled, but I particularly liked Qui-Gon's realisation that Obi-Wan had, without really thinking about it, managed to achieve something that few other Jedi had in the manner of his escape. It's always nice to see the talents of individual characters make themselves known in tricky circumstances. Looks like Qui is begining to see the hitherto hidden skills that Obi-Wan has. :)
  25. maychorian Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 7, 2005
    star 4
    LuvEwan Now as soon as I saw that a 'plot' was going to start, I was skeptical. Plots usually interfere with mush.

    :D Don't worry. It's a really mushy plot.

    Kynstar He's astounded Qui!

    And was too worn out to notice! They're both a little blind in this story.

    Jemmiah Looks like Qui is begining to see the hitherto hidden skills that Obi-Wan has.

    And THAT, my friend, is the theme of this entire story. Who knew a thirteen-year-old had such hidden depths? (Well, we did, of course.) Qui-Gon is going to be astonished quite a bit in the next few chapters. And Obi-Wan will continue not noticing this.

    New post coming later this evening.
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