Title: Cantina Musing Time frame: sometime after Union... Disclaimer: Do not own Star Wars or these characters... “I’m Luke Skywalker, I’m here to rescue you.” I smile at the memory that is now many years old. The short, wide- eyed storm trooper who turned out to be my long lost twin brother. I try to fit that Luke into the man I know now a Jedi Master, hero to the New Republic, re-builder of the Jedi, and Darth Vader’s son. I usually just laugh at that point because neither Luke nor I will ever be nineteen again. Neither one of us could go back to the innocence or ignorance we once lived so blissfully with. Don’t get me wrong I’m so glad we found each other. Honestly, in those early years Luke and Han were the people who kept me going after the destruction of Alderean Without either one of them my life and many others wouldn’t be here. I knew from the first moment I met Luke that there was something special between us. I felt complete around him, and even though at the time I couldn’t understand why this farm kid made everything better when he was around. Like the rest of the alliance I was completely taken in with the over night hero from Tatooine. Luke was an exceptional pilot from the moment he climbed into an x-wing and a natural leader. I remember some of the alliance leaders talking about Luke, talking of the uncanny similarities between Luke and a Clone Wars hero name Anakin. In hindsight it’s ironic that Anakin Skywalker should be our father, and that even before that knowledge became known Luke was compared to Anakin. Then Bespin happened. Both Luke and I changed. I was overwhelmed by grief for losing Han, and Luke was questioning his very existence. Just like three years earlier Luke threw himself into his work – mainly in finding Han. That wasn’t the only change though there was another and I’m not even sure Luke saw or realized this one. It was after Bespin that I believe Luke resigned himself to be alone. Looking back I realize that now, whatever crush he once had on me disappeared after Bespin. It’s strange to know that in all my fears of becoming like Vader or having children for fear they’d become the monster that my father was. Luke in his own way was doing the exact same thing. Pushing those he loved away for fear that one day he might become the same type of evil that had imprisoned Anakin Skywalker for so long. I watched him break his own heart over Callista. Sure at the end of the day I still think what she did to him was wrong and that Luke was always to good for her, but maybe had Luke opened up that part of himself he shut up from the world after Bespin Callista may not have felt so frustrated with her lack of the Force. But then again I also personally believe it had always been Mara from the day they met. Throughout all ten years she was the only woman who really held any sway over Luke. I can remember her half drunk and ranting one night a few years ago about how my brother never lets up. “It’s all he ever talks about!” She hissed. “That damn academy! Please, Mara come back!” She mocked in a very good impersonation of my brother. “Force! I could just kill him!” I had just let her rant. Only later did I wonder why he should care that much about Mara becoming a Jedi. Sure he had been persistent with me to, but Mara was different. That’s because Luke and Mara share a bond that even back when she wanted to kill him was there. I know though it’s more then the bond. There is a deep understanding between them that comes from knowing betrayal. Learning that everything you once believed is nothing more then a lie crafted by those around you. I wonder if we could go back to being nineteen would Luke and I believe that I would have ever ended up with a smuggler like Han Solo, or would have anyone ever believed that the farm kid would end up with a Imperial assassin years later. Probably not I assume. But as I sit in a cantina with my sister-in-law reminiscing and joking about our husbands I realize I wouldn’t change a thing. It’s not been easy, and probably won’t get easier. But if it been easy I wouldn’t be here sitting with an amazing woman enjoying a rare day off in a run-down cantina.