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  1. In Memory of LAJ_FETT: Please share your remembrances and condolences HERE

Change Serious Ep II Lines to Comedy Ep II Lines.

Discussion in 'Archive: Attack of the Clones' started by jengafett, Mar 22, 2005.

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  1. jengafett

    jengafett Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Oct 29, 2004
    This is basically a humour thread. Where we parody any lines from Ep II into comedy lines. Feel free to post your comedy talents. Here's some of mine and my friends.

    Anakin: We decided to come and rescue you.
    Obi-Wan: <looks at his chains> Good job.
    Anakin: Nice attitude, Master. Tell you what, next time we won't bother, okay?

    Padme: Jedi aren't allowed to marry. You'll be expelled from the Order. I will not let you give up your future for me.
    Anakin: <backing away> Whoa! Whoa! Who said anything about marriage? I just thought we could have a little fun, that's all!

    Jedi Master St'An and his padawan apprentice Ky-Ile pause during a dramatic moment in the arena battle.

    St'an: "Oh my God! They killed Jango!"

    Ky-Ile: "You Basterds!"

    Anakin(in battle on Geonosia):Hey, is that 3PO? ATTACK!!!!!

    Yoda:Hasta Lavista Dooku!

    Obi-Wan:This is why I hate flying!
    Charge blows chunk off of nearby asteroid. Obi-Wan barely scrapes by.
    Obi-Wan:Nope, I was wrong. That is why I hate flying!

    Obi-wan to Count Dooku:
    "I'll never join you."

    Count Dooku:
    "Uhmm, okay then. I'm your father."

    in the battle arena, right when the clones are coming.
    Nute Gunray: Oh NO! It's the Attack of the Clones!
    Count Dooko: No #############.

    Uknown Jedi Padawan in arena on Geonosia:UUHH Wait! Time! My lightsaber's broken!


    Amidala: "Jar Jar Binks."

    Jar Jar: "Meesa you highness?"

    Amidala: "Yes, youssa."



    Mace with lightsaber at Dooku's throat: This party's over.(pause) Ok. Now I am sure you are all wondering why I don't just kill Dooku right now while I have my lightsaber at his throat. I was wondering the same thing. All I can say is, if I did the smart thing and ended this now, there would be no Ep. 4,5,and 6.


    How bout, Mace with lightsaber at Jango's throat:
    "Party over... Hey, is that a Big Kahuna burger?"


    R2D2: bleep bleep bib brrrrrrp brrb
    C3PO: SAME TO YOU TO PAL



    Dooku:Yoda, you may be powerful, but I am taller than you are.
    Yoda:Size matters not! AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!
    Yoda kicks butt!

    Anakin talking to Zam Wesell:(angrily) TELL US!
    Zam:You know, you're not going to get a whole lot out of me with that attitude. Hasn't your master taught you anything about manners. Can you say please?
    Anakin:(through gritted teeth)PLEASE will you tell us who hired you?
    Zam:Sure it was Jaaaaaaaa!(shot)
    Anakin:Dang!

    Death stick dealer: wanna death stick?
    Ob-wan: Yes please, how much do I owe ya?

    OB1 to Anakin in the club
    "Well if your not going to be the death of me at least you ARE driving me to drink!" Still I think he IS going to be the death of me! Better enjoy my drink!


    Mace:Why did the Sith cross the road?
    Yoda:Why?
    Mace:Because he could!HAHAHAHAhaha...ahum well, I thought it was funny.

    Padme talking about sand...
    Anakin: I hate sand...especially when it get's in your bathing suit. Don't you just hate that feeling your Majesty?

    Anakin:eek:NE DAY I WILL BE THE MOST POWERFUL JEDI EVER!!!!!
    Padme:Yup.
    Anakin:What?
    Padme:Yup. You are going to be the most powerful Jedi ever. You will rule as a Dark Jedi known as Darth Vader. Your name will be feared throughout the galaxy. But your son, who you don't know exists, is going to turn you back to the good side right before you die saving him from evil Emperor Palpatine.
    Anakin:Are you allright, Padme. I don't think you are feeling very well.
    Padme:Just wait. You'll see.
    Anakin:eek:k.....(to himself) and I thought I was crazy.

    Dooku and Anakin dueling...Anakin becomes open for attack and Dooku strikes his arm
    Dooku: You're defeated.
    Anakin: It's just a flesh wound. I'll be alright.
    Dooku: Not if I slice off your other arm (strikes down on his other arm)
    Anakin: Now look what you've gone and done. Starts kicking Dooku
    Dooku: Enough (cuts off both his legs)You're finished and you are defeated.
    Anakin: No, I'm not.
    Dooku: What are you going to do, bleed on me?


    Jedi Brat: Someone must have erased it from the archives.

    Obi-Wan (smacking forehead): D'oh!

    Yoda: Too quick on the u
     
  2. jengafett

    jengafett Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Oct 29, 2004
    jango is running up the slave 1 ramp, and instead of ducking he hits his head and yells doh.

    Anakin uses his force power to fly the fruit from Padme's plate to his.
    Padme:Hey, I was gonna eat that!
    Anakin:I know, but...
    Padme:Don't you "I know, but" me! If we are ever going to be together you have to know how to ask! You never take a fruit from a psychotic senator without asking!

    Yoda:"Lost a planet Obi-Wan has"
    Obi-Wan (eyes filling with tears):"shut up!shut up!" then runs from the room sobbing uncontrollably to the sound of Yoda & younglings laughter.


    Padme in Geonosia battle:Who needs a blaster! These droids have sucky aim and I am a main character. I am invincible!!!!!!!!

    Obi-wan walks up to an inhabitant of Kamino.

    Obi-wan: Man thats a long neck!
    Kaminonian: All the better to swallow you with!

    Boba picks up Jango's helmet, peers inside and says, "Hello in there..."

    jango fett flies up in jet pak and it brakes and he falls to the ground

    Boba picks up his dad's severed head, "Wooooooo, you know he ain't gonna be in Episode III."

    Obi and Kaminoan walk into Jango's room. Obi enters and Kaminoan bangs his head, OOF, and falls backwards to the floor.

    Jango puts his jetpack on upside down.

    do you have any idea who is behind these attacks?
    our sources trace to the spice mines
    i think it was count dooku
    well duh! he's evil and he and darth sidious are ganged up together to take over the universe. everyone knows that!

    Anakin how many times have I told you to stay away from the power cuplincs.

    Fourteen

    Anakin: ive thought about her every day since we parted
    Obi-Wan: you have no life

    Anakin, "if you'll excuse me."

    he falls and misses the speeder by about ten feet,

    "Damnit", falls to his doom

    "Join me obi wan and together we can destroy the sith."

    "I dont know, whats in my plan"

    "401K, a geonosis trip, all expenses paid of course, and an HMO"

    "HMO, no way,"

    Anakin: I'm in agony. When I'm not with you I can't breath.

    Padme: (Using Queen Elizabeth II's speaking voice). Please pass the salt.

    [in the scene where Anakin and Padme are getting off the canoe in Naboo]

    Frog1: Bud-

    Frog2: Weis-

    Frog3: -er


    [scene where poisonous bugs are crawling up Padme]
    [Anakin rushes in the room and chops up Kouhuns, Obi-Wan dashes across it, jumps out of the window, and misses the droid]

    Obi-Wan: Blast this!


    Obi wan and anakin outside padmes room.

    Anakin turns his head.
    Obi Wan- I sense it too.

    The rush in to see Padme changing. "It appears I have taught you well my young apprentice" He says, drooling.

    Anakin looks at his FUBAR'd lightsaber and says, "Cheap K-Mart knock offs."

    Anakin: She is covering the camera. She said she doesnt like the idea of me watching...and umm....self gratifing my self.

    Padme: Ani? My goodness, you've grown.
    Obi-Wan: Grown what - fungus?

    Boba picks up the helmet says Dad, Dad are you in there (continued)...Oh well,I can get another one, or two, or ten on Kamino...whatever it takes!

    Yoda: Lost a planet OB1 has how embarrassing...how embarrassing...OB1, What have you been smoking?
    OB1: (matter-of-factly) Death Sticks.


    (Head falls out)

    in the bar, obi wan's senses fail, and he chops off the hand of a passer-by instead of zam wessel.

    Padme to anakin as he speeds off on his speeder bike to find his mother: "You drive like a bat out of h@ll...I do wish you'd wear a HELMET
    Anakin replies: Yeah and I suppose I should get an INHALERtoo...Then I'd really look like a geek.


    Yoda: To the forward control station, take me.

    Clone commander: Speak English man.

    as dooku flies off of geonosis, on of the core ships crashes into the trade federation battle ships.

    Ob1 and Dooku face off.
    Dooku:I see your schwartz is as big as mine. Now lets see how well you handle it.

    anakin to zam outside the nightclub- where did u get those kouhuns!!!!!!???
    zam- i found them
    anakin-u found them in courscant? those kouhuns are tropical!
    zam- what do u mean?
    anakin- well
     
  3. new_jedistarfighter

    new_jedistarfighter Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Jul 26, 2004
    Those are very funny.
     
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