Change Serious PT Lines to Comedy PT Lines.

Sidious: Every single Jedi, even your friend Obiwan Kenobi is now an enemy of the republic. Do what must be done, but please save the blue twilek one, she's so pretty and I want to make her Empress.

Anakin: yes my master,(thinks to himself, like he has any chance with Aayla, Obiwan has been trying for like ten yearsz)

 

Suited Vader rises for first time.

Anakin: How ironic. This suit hides my boyish good-looks while your ugliness remains unshielded.

Palpatine: My smart-ass apprentice, I swear someday you'll send me over the edge.

................................

Obiwan: Grevious' ship, dead ahead!

Anakin: Red Five standing by!

Obiwan: WRONG MOVIE YOU IDIOT!

................................

Yoda and Obi-wan surveys dead younglings

Yoda: This one here. Dead from lightsabres.

Obi-wan: I knew we shouldn't have let younglings play with sabres!

................................

Anakin and Palpatine glances at the Death Star under construction.

Anakin: My master. While ruling the galaxy, what do we do about...uh...horniness?

Palpatine: Wait til you see my other Clone Army. The more...feminine variety! <evil laugh>

 

Palpatine: "Every single Jedi, is now a friend of the Republic"

Anakin "Hooray, Hooray"

Obi-wan: "Anakin behave yourself. We were friends already"

Anakin: "o"

Palpatine: "And with the power you gave me, I'll raise a big celebration of the Republic"

Spectators * Aplaus *

 

Obi-Wan: Why do I have the feeling you'll be the death of me?
Anakin (evil thought comes into head): That's a good one! (Takes out taperecorder) In future, kill Obi-Wan.

 

Qui Gonn:Anikin duck!
Anakin:Why should I,if you dont give me a reasonable explenation to..(Bang!Maul killed Anakin with the speeder)
Maul:Holy ****,I just killed Darth Vader,I just ruined the OT Star Wars.Oh well.
Qui Gonn:Nooooooooooooooooooooooo

 

Mace Windu: "I sence a plot to destroy the Jedi"

Clone Trooper: "Yeah, what ever. Do you sence a toilet around here to? I've been shooting droids for days now, and we have to execute order 66 in a few minutes, so before that I'd like to use the toilet."

MaCe Windu: " ofcourse"

 

Anakin: (Thinking as he sees Padme for the first time on Tatoonie) Gee she looks beautiful.
Padme: Hi there.
Anakin: Hey sweetheart (pulls arm around Padme's shoulders) you wanna be my girlfriend.
Padme: Not for another ten years, kid. By the way, grow three more feet before you try that trick again!

 

LOL ^^

 

Padme: "... I truly, deeply, love you!"
Anakin: "Get out of here! You're just trying to take advantage of a young boy! You perv!"

in ROTS
Medical Robot: "... it seems she as lost the will to live, now that Friends is over ..."

 

From the Attack of the Clones:
Anakin runs up to Obi-Wan with the Reek.

Anakin: Hi Master, it followed me home. Can I keep it?
Obi: No, it nearly killed us.
Anakin: But he's better now!
Obi: Where would we keep it?
Anakin(Lost in his own thoughts): I'm gonna love him and pet him and feed him and play with him and name him George....

 

At Corucant




Padme: "Please don't look at me like that"

Anakin: "Why not? "

Padme: * Picks the baseball bat from the suitcase she was packing and hits Anakin on it's head*

Anakin: * falls to the floor *

Padme: "It makes YOU feel uncomfortable."

 

LOL

 

Funny stuff there.

 

Here's an old(and long) one that I wrote a couple of years back at the TPM board, designed to set things straight for little Ani:



ANAKIN: You're a Jedi Knight, aren't you?

QUI-GON: Why do you think that?

ANAKIN: I saw your lasersword. Only Jedis carry that kind of weapon.

QUI-GON: OK, first of all, I'm a Jedi Master, not a Knight. Second, it's called lightsaber, not "lasersword". And third, it's "Jedi", in plural as well as singular form.

ANAKIN: I knew it! Only a Jedi Knight would be that stuck-up on details.

QUI-GON: Jedi Master!

ANAKIN: Whatever.

QUI-GON: Now listen here, you little punk!....

PADMÉ: What the hell are you doing? We're supposed to find a way to get off this filthy dustball, not bicker with slaves!

ANAKIN: I'm a person and my name is...

PADMÉ: Whatever!

SHMI: Enough! You're not talking to my son like this! Get out, all of you!

QUI-GON: Fine! We'll just go over to Watto's shop, kill that son of a bitch and take a hyperdrive so we can get out of here!

ANAKIN: But that means mom and I are free!

QUI-GON: ...and then we'll go pay Gardulla the Hutt a visit on our way back to the ship.

SHMI: (to Anakin) You couldn't keep your mouth shut, could you? You're grounded for a month!

QUI-GON: Who's stuck-up now, you little brat? Later, loser!




Doesn't it feel great to sort things out?
/LM

 

[image=http://www.sgtfretsurfer.com/Grilled-Sarlacc/c/cliegg/chair.jpg]

Cliegg Lars: "I would have gone after your mother except the track doesn't extend that far yet.. once I've laid down a few more kms, I'll bring her back..."

 

Sidious: Wipe the dishes, all of them.

--------------------------------------------------

Yoda: Hard to see, the dark side is.

(Yoda pauses to turn on a small table lamp)

Yoda (Continuing) Ah, better, that is.

--------------------------------------------------

Padme: Obi-Wan? Is Anakin all right?

Obi-Wan: Er, well, speaking in terms of opposites you have, for example, black and white, good and evil and left and right. I can quite safely say that you can now add 'Anakin and all right' to that list.

---------------------------------------------------

Anakin: I hate you!

Obi-Wan: I have failed you, Anakin. I was never able to teach you to respect the alphabet as a whole...

---------------------------------------------------

Qui-Gon: You almost got us killed! Are you brainless?

Jar Jar: Oh, I do apologise! When I awoke to a morning so effervescent as this and witnessed the glorious dance of esoteric yet breathtaking patterns that is the sky, I thought it a pertinent time to debate with myself as to whether the existence of evil in the world is indicative of the absence of God. Currently I am weighing up the merits of approaching the question from a monotheistic perspective, however -

Qui-Goninterrupting): Excuse me?

Jar Jar: Ooh moi moi I love you!

 

I've read all six pages of this thing..AND IT IS BRILLIANT!!!!!!!!

Padme: I have wonderful news...I'm pregnant!

Anakin: That's wonderful. So who's the father?

<SLAP!!!!!!!>



here are a few of my own...

ROTS [high ground scene]

Obi-Wan: It's over Anakin, I have the higher ground!

Anakin: Oh thank god, my legs are killing me...

__________________________________________________________

AOTC [Padme and Anakin on balcony]

Anakin: I don't like rocks. Their coarse and rough and irritating and --

George: CUT! No Hayden, it's SAND...SAND is course and irritating!

Hayden: (to himself) Yah, like it really makes a difference

___________________________________________________________

ROTS [coucil chamber]

Mace: You are on the council, but we do not grant you the rank of master.

Anakin: [whines] WHAT? But that is soooooooooo unfair!

Obi-Wan: Gah! Must you embarrass me on a daily basis?

Mace: Anakin, sit yo white @$$ down!

 

^^^ Hhahahahhaa Thats funny shat.





Emporer Gerner Dark Lord of the Sith

 

^^^ Thank you

Here are a few more...



Palpatine: Anakin, I'm appointing you to be my personal representative on the Jedi Council.

Anakin: Me? A Master? HELL YAH! (under tone) Took you long enough...

______________________________________________________________

Anakin: I feel lost...

Padme: Shall I get you a map? What the hell should I do about it?

Anakin: Padme, I'm trying to express my feelings...

Padme: Oh sorry, go on...(under tone) Sissy...

_______________________________________________________________

Yoda: Twisted by the Dark Side, young Skywalker has become. The boy you trained, gone he is... Consumed by Darth Vader.

Obi-Wan: Oh my god...What am I going to tell Padme? And all this time I thought Anakin was straying to the Dark Side...I should never have doubted him...It is my personal goal to KILL this Darth Vader and avenge Anakin's death!!!

Yoda: Uhhhhh...

 

"I hate sand..."

Oh, wait, nevermind

 

^^^^^^^^^
???????????

COME ON PEOPLE!!!!!!! THIS IS A GREAT THREAD POST SOMETHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Obi Wan: I was wondering if you got my message.

Anakin: You mean, can my acting fly whats left of this Saga?

Obi Wan: Would it help if I got out and pushed?

Anakin: It might. Its not my fault!

Obi Wan: You were the choosen one, your role was meant to define the Saga, not destroy it.

Anakin: I wasn't cast to watch my fans suffer and die while you debate this on a Discussion Board.

Obi Wan: I am not a fan!

Anakin: Prepare the editing room for my arrival. Don't fail me again.



(cut to Padme's Hotel Suite)


Obi Wan: He's become a danger - to his own career and yours.

Padme: He's going to kill the film, isn't he?

Obi Wan: He's affected your credibility, I'm sorry.

Padme: I can't believe it!

Obi Wan: I saw it myself. The Basher Sanctuary .... do you know where he is?

Padme: No.


(This was on the "Re-write the OT in light of the PT" so i copied it here - they're similar threads)

 

Cody: Have you found Kenobi?

Trooper #678: Sir, no one could have survived that fall...

Cody: Ok lets go!

Trooper #231: Hey wait, arent you guys gonna search for the body?

Cody: Noooo....ya see, we're not gonna accually LOOK for evidence of Master Obi-Wan's death, we're just gonna assume it all went to plan what?

(Yoda's crawling through the piplines after he escapes Sidious. Takes out comunicator.)

Yoda: Day 56....reached the half way point of my journey I have, soiled myself several times and at this point little hope of survival, but press on i must...

Ok that sucked, in the theatre in looked like he was gonna do that, or maybe pulled out an inhaler or something.

I found this on the internet, its not PT, but i cant resist...

Ben: For more than a thousand generations the Jedi Knights were the gaurdians of peace and justice in the Old Republic. Before the dark times, before the Empire. Before she decided she needed to "find" herself. Before I wasn't good enough....

(Right when Obi is going through the window to catch the asassin droid)

Obi: What have I done!

 

Here's a couple:

Palpatine: Are you going to kill me, Anakin?
Anakin: I'd certainly like to!
Palpatine: I know you would...I can FEEL your anger. It gives you focus, makes you stronger!
Anakin: Really? COOL!! *sizzle* *head rolls on the floor*
Who's the Senate now, %&$#&!




Sidious: The Republic will be reorganized into the FIRST GALACTIC EMPIRE!!
Oh, %&^$! There goes the planet!
Sidious: The chair does not recognize the delegation from the Planet of the Apes at this time!



Anakin: The Chancellor...*huff wheeze*...He's a Sith Lord!
Mace: A Sith LORD?! *sighs* Then our worst fears have been realized. Stay here. If what you say is true, THEN you will have gained my trust.
Anakin: Can I come along?
Mace: Kid, you must be outside yo mind! You just ran all the way from his office. How do you expect to hold your own against the guy?
Anakin(growling): You underestimate my POWER!
Mace: Boy, don't make me bust out some Vaapad on yo $%&. Siddown! Let the MASTERS handle this!
Anakin(to himself): Oh, you just didn't.

 

Just a quick one, but here we go:

-------------------------------------------------------------------

The trailing missiles fly into what looks like debris, and detonate. Five silver balls fly out of the debris and attach themselves to Obi-Wan?s ship. The balls pop open, revealing small droids that begin to crawl across the surface like spiders.

Obi-Wan: I?m hit! Anakin?

Anakin: I see them?

Droid 1: One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind.
Droid 2: To infinity and beyond!

Anakin: (continuing) ?Buzz Droids.