Beyond - Legends . Chaos . J/K . future . AU . angst . repost .

Author: Jaina_Solo_Durron (aka JSD)

Era: Future (Post-NJO), perhaps slightly AU

Spoilers: NJO up to and including SbS

Disclaimer: It doesn't belong to me. Sue me if you want, all you'll get is some old pens and school books...LOTS of them.

Other: very very slight implied J/J and outright J/K, angsty...Reposted from Classic Fic Board...

This was orginally written and posted on the Classic Board, for my 1000th post...which was AGES ago. It was betaed by the inimitable the_jedi_princess, for which I am eternally grateful. The original (locked) thread can be found here.

Here it is!

---

[b]Chaos[/b]

Some say a war is won by the stronger and lost by the weaker. But how can a victory involve the loss of everything you hold dear?

We?ve lost so much. Friends, relatives, complete strangers who did nothing more than try to protect the ones they loved?the ones we loved. [i]Loved[/i]. That very word implies that the love no longer exists, for those that we cared for are gone.

And indeed, they are. My own brothers, my father?s closest friend, my ex-boyfriend, my husband, my unborn child, my parents, my aunt and uncle, my cousin?all taken before their time.

Yet I have the blood of countless others on my hands. Warriors, shapers, Peace Brigaders?even a Warmaster. The last battle was not a military battle as the sims show it, but all-out slaughter. How many were killed is still unknown. All we know is that our foe was defeated ? if you can call it that. Utterly quashed is more likely the correct term for such gruesome devastation.

Even with the destruction of the Vong, however, this galaxy is not at peace?indeed, it probably will not be peaceful for a long, long time. We have grown up with wars raging around us. Accustomed as we are to it, people feel?incomplete if they are not in the deadly heat of the battle?I know I do. War is not glorious, it is murder. And those who partake of war often become murderers.

Civil wars on various scattered worlds tax the resources of the already battered and beaten New Republic military. The Jedi, once the heroes and peacekeepers of the galaxy are now little more than a handful of hated missionaries.

The government is virtually nonexistent, those that were part of it having been eliminated long ago?my mother was among them. What is left ? a few, struggling individuals ? ineffectually attempt to restore some semblance of order.

They say love heals all. But is there enough love? Has there [i]ever[/i] been enough love to heal the great and bloody wounds, the open, reeking sores this and other wars have inflicted upon the galaxy?

I have loved many, and lost many. Billions, no, [i]trillions[/i] of others have done the same. Is it better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all? After the heartbreak that comes of loss, one must reconsider?


My name is Jaina Solo Durron.

This is my last will and testament.

With these words, I say goodbye to the galaxy that was once my home.

And welcome the chaos.

[hr]

Well, what do you think? Too angsty? Too negative?

And yes, I was a little depressed when I wrote this.

-JSD

 

Angsty? Yes, but not overly done. I would imagine that living through such a long and costly war could leave her depressed. Really nice job.

 

Not too angsty at all. After losing her family in a war, I guess she would feel alone and depressed. I think you did a great job portraying Jaina's feelings.

 

Yeah. The Angsty"ness" was perfect. Great job

 

Brilliant.

I'm pretty sure I've read this before, but it's still brilliant, and bizarre, because there's nothing there that wasn't true at the end of SbS, but it presents a more hopful Jaina, at the same time as encapsulating an utter cynicism about the Alliance and what was supposed to happn in the second half of the NJO...

Was "Solo-Durron" rather than "Solo Durron" deliberate, btw?

- The Imperial Ewok

 

Jedi_Chani: OMG. My nickname is Chani. Thankyou!

JediMaster_Jen & Mike-Sunrider: Thankyou!

Thrawn_McEwok: The cynicism is probably part of my own similar feelings, at the time I wrote this, leaking through...but then, you'd expect Jaina to be that depressed, IMHO. I'm not sure about the Solo-Durron/Solo Durron thing...I think I'll change it. After all, it was Leia Organa Solo and Mara Jade Skywalker, non-hypenated. Thanks for that!


After SbS, while it wasn't really written to show it, I suppose you could kind of tell what Jaina would feel like by the end of the war. It may have been slight overkill on my part to kill off everyone - Jag, Kyp, Han, Leia, Mara, Luke, Ben (aww) and Jaina's unborn child - but that's what happens in war. And if my sources are right about TUF (I haven't read it yet) something like 365 trillion people died at the hands of the Yuuzhan Vong. At least some of that destruction must have, by the laws of probability if nothing else, touched the extended Solo-Skywalker clan - Anakin was only the first.

-JSD

 

Up you go!

-JSD