-Chaos- One-poster, angst, J/K and slight J/J, future

Author: Jaina_Solo_Durron (aka JSD)

Era: Future (Post-NJO), perhaps slightly AU

Spoilers: NJO up to and including SbS

Other: very very slight implied J/J and outright J/K, very very angsty?

Well, I needed a place to put my 1000th post, so I decided to finally write something instead of just reading and lurking...Thanks VERY VERY VERY much to the_jedi_princess for betaing this on VERY VERY short notice...luv ya sis! Go read her fics: Papa Don't Preach and the Eternity Series: War of the Heart, If Tomorrow Never Comes, Through the Fires of Hell and Live to Die Another Day, and lots more that you can find in her profile...enjoy!

Here it is!

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[b]Chaos[/b]

Some say a war is won by the stronger and lost by the weaker. But how can a victory involve the loss of everything you hold dear?

We?ve lost so much. Friends, relatives, complete strangers who did nothing more than try to protect the ones they loved?the ones we loved. [i]Loved[/i]. That very word implies that the love no longer exists, for those that we cared for are gone.

And indeed, they are. My own brothers, my father?s closest friend, my boyfriend, my husband, my unborn child, my parents, my aunt and uncle, my cousin?all taken before their time.

Yet I have the blood of countless others on my hands. Warriors, shapers, Peace Brigaders?even a Warmaster. The last battle was not a military battle as the sims show it, but all-out slaughter. How many were killed is still unknown. All we know is that our foe was defeated ? if you can call it that. Utterly quashed is more likely the correct term for such gruesome devastation.

Even with the destruction of the Vong, however, this galaxy is not at peace?indeed, it probably will not be peaceful for a long, long time. We have grown up with wars raging around us. Accustomed as we are to it, people feel?incomplete if they are not in the deadly heat of the battle?I know I do. War is not glorious, it is murder. And those who partake of war often become murderers.

Civil wars on various scattered worlds tax the resources of the already battered and beaten New Republic military. The Jedi, once the heroes and peacekeepers of the galaxy are now little more than a handful of hated missionaries.

The government is virtually nonexistent, those that were part of it having been eliminated long ago?my mother was among them. What is left ? a few, struggling individuals ? ineffectually attempt to restore some semblance of order.

They say love heals all. But is there enough love? Has there [i]ever[/i] been enough love to heal the great and bloody wounds, the open, reeking sores this and other wars have inflicted upon the galaxy?

I have loved many, and lost many. Millions, no, [i]billions[/i] of others have done the same. Is it better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all? After the heartbreak that comes of loss, one must reconsider?


My name is Jaina Solo-Durron.

This is my last will and testament.

With these words, I say goodbye to the galaxy that was once my home.

And welcome the chaos.

[hr]

Well, what do you think? Too angsty? Too negative?

And yes, I was a little depressed when I wrote this.

-JSD

 

Once again, let me say how great this is, and what? No thanks to your beta?

 

Sorry bout that....gonna add it now!

Thanks again, TJP....t'was muchly appreciated!

-JSD

 

Upping my own fic cos it's slipped to pg 2

-JSD

 

Oh my god . . . that's so sad! But I suppose that's war. Death and pain and destruction.

Beautifully written, although it's depressing.

 

great job JSD!!!!!!! I am very impressed!!!!
Write more please!!!

 

I can't find this on the board...UP!

-JSD

 

that was great JSD!!! very angsty . . . very well thought out. Not too negative . . . sounds like a movie voice over actually . . . which is really really really good.

Have I made my point yet?

 

sure you have M_J1011...thanks for all the positive comments guys...I'm thinking of writing a Wes/OC fic, but i need to know what Wes's ummm...preference, shall we say, is....PM me with your opinion...

where is everyone?

-JSD

 

Am I the only one posting on my thread? UP, dangit!

-JSD

 

Whoa.

Powerful start, JSD! And no, you're not the only one posting on your thread... it's just that my kriffing computer won't load the JC pages!! I dunno why... though anyhoo, more soon? I hope?

Oh yes, I noticed in your title... "slight J/J"... oooo boy... not a good thing...

--Den

 

Deneveon: I know...but he's dead now ... unfortunately, so is kyp

I've written another one-poster, called It's Probably Me. It's over on the Beyond the Saga board. It's a K/J songfic that took me all of an hour to write...


thank you all for reading!

-JSD

 

JSD I read this and loved it. Very angsty and yes I can tell you were depressed, but it definitely worked for you.

Hope you feel better and bravo!

 

Wow, that was quite an unhappy ending! You could almost hear the theme from "Requiem For a Dream" playing in the background!

Even though I hated that movie for its depressing qualities, I sometimes wish that Star Wars stories would end like this, just for a change of pace. Not everybody can always have a happy ending. My crazy relatives are apparently testament to that!

Speaking of which, I got to see them in Guardiagrele, Italy this week! The ones that didn't kill themselves, that is.

Jae Angel

 

Hi all!

TKeira_Lea: Thank you very much, and yes, I did feel better after writing it...much better...better enough to shove snow down my host sister's jacket ...muahaha

NarundiJedi: 'Requiem for a Dream'? I should get that out and see it...you've got crazy relatives too? In my family, I am the crazy relative ... I'm the only one who knows how to use chopsticks...and since eating non-sticky rice with chopsticks is eminently difficult, my cousins (all eighteen of them, all older than me) idolise or threaten me...My extended family live in India, so I only see them every couple of years or so...

Happy Belated St Patrick's Day to you all...and thanks for reading!

-JSD

 

UP! where is this, anyway?

-JSD

 

very touching

Loved it ^_^

EJ

 

Thanks, Eowyn_Jade...UP!

-JSD

 

Shamelessly UPping my own fic!

-JSD

 

interesting beginning...is there going to be more of this?

 

sigh....up

-JSD

 

Wow.

~~Jilly