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Before - Legends ---CharmisDrabbles... ---: Week 5!!!-------Qui-Gon, Dooku, Xanatos, Obi, Maul

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Charmisjess, Sep 25, 2006.

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  1. Dreagoddess

    Dreagoddess Jedi Youngling

    Registered:
    May 19, 2006
    ...Oh. Oh.... Oh... *hugs it all to chest wordlessly* Beautiful, just beautiful. I love how you captured all these different pieces of Qui-Gon, fun and cheerful and proud and regretful...Holding the dying youngling as he watches Anakin, torn between pride and horror, that's just gorgeous. And Obi-Wan's tea with no one just brought tears to my eyes. How do you DO it? Argh. Not fair.
     
  2. Persephone_Kore

    Persephone_Kore Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 19, 2006
    Awww. This is a good theme!

    16 -- Cuteness. I love the idea of them having inside jokes, particularly, for some reason.

    17 -- Oh, this one is breathtaking. The wording, the images, are so good and so evocative and so right for what they mean that I'm left at a loss what I can say about them.

    18 -- Um. Eep.

    19 -- I have no idea how Dooku can lie in a tidy pile, but it seems very fitting. [:D] I love the comfortableness of the little scene, and the odd details like the revolving planet-map in Dooku's elbow, and oooooh, he got caught slacking by his Padawan! *giggles* Not that Qui-Gon seems to mind.

    20 -- I am overcome by cute. Yay, the fountain rescue got in somewhere!
     
  3. Dreagoddess

    Dreagoddess Jedi Youngling

    Registered:
    May 19, 2006
    Ack, more of them! Silly Drea needs to learn to read the whole post before replying. *g* Anyway, all are just gorgeous, truly. I especially liked the last set, with "strangers" as my favorite. That's just such an adorable meeting. I can totally picture Qui-Gon diving fearlessly into the fountain, then trying to figure out what the heck he was supposed to do now. And Dooku coming across him, trying to be serious while trying even harder not to break down laughing. Aww. *just wants to cuddle them all*
     
  4. corellian-jedi

    corellian-jedi Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Jun 4, 2005
    Finally Qui-Gon spoke up again, slowly, purposefully. ?How is Jocasta??

    A bright coldness flashed behind Dooku?s eyes. He whirled, ?You dare presume!?


    Oh my...what a punchline in the end. [face_mischief] Qui-Gon really touched a nerve, didn't he?

    I also loved #20 - nicely done, depicting Padawan Dooku meeting Initiate Jinn.

    I hope you continue with these.=D=
     
  5. Nienna_Narmolanya

    Nienna_Narmolanya Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 5, 2005
    Oooh! More drabbles! :D

    friends - I liked the detailed examples at the beginning that show how well Dooku and Qui know each other. It serves to drive the point home and makes the last line all the more poignant. I really feel for Qui-Gon here.

    enemies - Whoa! Kind of creepy that Qui-Gon is dragging Dooku's Force-spirit back to the surface, but the last line explains it all. Because I must understand why. Qui! :(

    lovers - There's nothing happy about this one - it tugged on my heartstrings - but Qui-Gon asking about Jocasta still made me smile. :p

    family - Now I really feel for Qui! I think this drabble was my favorite of the bunch.

    strangers - ?Ah, do you require rescue?? :D Aww! This one's adorable! *melts*

    Great drabbles, Charm! I look forward to more. :)
     
  6. ardavenport

    ardavenport Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 16, 2004
    Aaaaah, very nice. I like to think that Qui-Gon has a sort of family among the Jedi no matter what the code says. Dooku would be quite a challenge for him, but he could manage it. And only eleven years between them; they could have been brothers in some way as well, I suppose. With Qui-Gon still lingering in the Force, he would know how badly Dooku ended up. Very sad.



     
  7. Charmisjess

    Charmisjess Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Jul 31, 2003
    What's that? A ridiculous amount of time has passed? That must mean time for author replies and updates! :D But college is out for summer, so now I have actual time for my little ficcies again. ^^ I have missed you all!

    Kynstar: *hugs-squeezes* Thanks, lovely! I've missed you too! Goodness, I think you are due for a post yourself, no?

    Starrie: :D You make me very happy, Miss Starrie. I'm glad you liked Enemies--I have the exact same feeling about that confrontation, and I didn't want to get too into it, because I really don't think I can write it like it should be written. But I really, really want to. :) So this was my compromise. I'm glad it turned out okay. I wish I could've done more with it.

    Diane: Thank you, Diane! It was my first time writing a reaaaaally little Qui, and oh boy, is he fun. :D

    Leia: You are always far too kind to me. *blushes* I just think there's something inherently hysterical about Dooku sneezing. Perhaps I am mad.

    *bounces* I require rescue too!!

    Veloz: I'm glad you liked the theme! I write a ton of Qui-Gon and Dooku stuff. They have great Master Padawan chemistry. Everything is just more fun with them...in my humble opinion. :D

    Wait.. Dooku and Jocasta?
    Hey, a lot of people consider them a canon pairing! ;)

    Thanks so much for such a sweet review!

    LuminaraFan4Evr: Thank you! Dooku and Qui-Gon are my favorite to write by far, so I'm glad it turned out. :)

    brodiew: That means so much coming from such a talented author. Thank you so much. :) I had a difficult time choosing the images I wanted for Enemies. I'm so glad it came together okay.

    Drea: Aww, thank you so much! I think Obi-Wan on Tatooine is one of the most pathetically sad pictures we get in the universe. They all deserve many cuddles, I think. :D

    PK: Yes, Qui-Gon's being tasteful about catching his Master slacking at that moment, but he'll probably remind him later. ;) And I had to do the fountain. I just had to. They are too much combined cuteness. :D Thanks for the comments!!

    corellian-jedi: I think that's the thing after knowing each other for as long as they have in Lovers. ;) Qui-Gon really, really knows how to press Dooku's buttons. I think probably better than anyone at the Temple. (Although Mace probably could come in second place, and Jo herself probably knows, but wouldn't.) Thank you so much for the review!!

    Nienna: :D Nienna, Nienna, hello! *hugs* Thanks so much for reviewing!

    It tugged on my heartstrings - but Qui-Gon asking about Jocasta still made me smile.
    Hee, I think he really is taking a low shot here, but I suppose Dooku was sort of taking a low shot by even getting into the conversation.

    ardavenport: With Qui-Gon still lingering in the Force, he would know how badly Dooku ended up. Very sad.
    That is really sad. :( Pre-Ep 3 I'd always taken some sort of comfort in the fact that Qui-Gon died before he could see everything he loved fall apart, but not so much...

    And yeah, if anyone could make a family out of Dooku, it would probably be Qui-Gon. :)

    Thanks for reviewing!
     
  8. Charmisjess

    Charmisjess Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Jul 31, 2003
    Updating, I'm updating!! *pathetic* :D


    Week five is very important because BABIESCUTE.

    ----


    21. smell

    The pair smelled of poverty.

    It was a thick, frank odor that Jedi Master Tauns? Bothan nose had become rather accustomed to on this miserable planet. The drizzle did nothing to wash it off the woman standing before him, holding a little girl?s hand and a parcel--perhaps rations, an heirloom small enough to carry?

    ?No, it was a baby.

    ?He?s a good boy!? She begged, tears mingling with rain. ?Never cries! Very special! Jedi can help him!?

    And then Tauns was holding a tiny human with eyes not so dulled by hunger to hide keen blue.

    ?He?s named Jinn.?


    22. sound

    Wave after frothing wave crashed against the indigo beachfront of the planet Serenno. Seabirds reeled and screamed overhead an elaborate tent, trimmed in ruffles and creamy pink, under which a parade of wane, dignified spectators moved. Out from this shelter, a scatter of silvery toys lay abandoned like useless charms against the black, glittering sand.

    A nursemaid?s shriek abruptly tore the scene. Heads turned. Music halted. And the two-year-old future Count of Serenno could be seen ducking away with unnatural skill, toddling steadily into the merciless surf, oblivious to danger, his baby eyes wide with the light of the sky.


    23. touch

    ?Well, that was a laugh!? Dooku stepped over the kidnapper?s corpse, lofting a baby easily out of the discarded basket. ?But I cannot say I?m entirely surprised they went after the child, even with Jedi presence here.? He passed him back. ?It is Telos, after all.?

    Shrugging, Qui-Gon took the babe. ?Mm.?

    ?King Crion?ll be pleased to have that back in his clutches.?

    A pause.

    ?Don?t you agree??

    Silence.

    ?Padawan??

    ?Ahhhh,? Horrified, Dooku turned to find Qui-Gon gazing down at the little prince, his eyes tellingly soft, finger lightly stroking the nose. ?Please don?t tell me the whelp is Force-sensitive??


    24. taste

    ?He?s so cute!?

    Skeptically, Dox examined the baby Loomi was trying to feed spoonfuls of purple bean, noting spiky, gingered hair and the little hand determinedly smearing purple into it. ?I don?t know?he?s not very interesting. And you?re getting beans on him.?

    ?Dox, a Jedi Knight shouldn?t focus merely on what?s interesting!? Loomi snorted, bossy as ever. She always took everything, even Crèche duty, far too seriously.

    ?Well, Jedi shouldn?t focus on cute, either!?

    ?Interesting or cute, I have a good feeling about this one.? She tickled out a baby laugh. ?You?re going to be a fine Jedi, little Obi-Wan!?


    25. sight

    He chose his first apprentice as one might select a weapon out of a catalogue. Zabrak for loyalty and strength, male for added aggression, and most importantly, only one year old, so that Darth Sidious could raise him exclusively, properly, without pesky outside influences.

    All of these precise specifications came in the form of a pair of innocent, dark-honey eyes peering through the bars of a crib. Awakened in the night by the hiss of the lightsaber that had ended his parent?s lives, meaningless to baby-mind, and now only reaching for a fallen stuffed toy.

    Children are not given choices.


    ----
    [face_peace]

     
  9. Kynstar

    Kynstar Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Mar 2, 2004
    Ohhh the last one was chilling and awsome! [face_devil]

    Lol babies indeed! [face_mischief] In Sept I'll be having mine! [face_worried] prob should be the face to use since I've never tangled with a girl before and was ever the tomboy as a child. Girls...new thing for me!

    Loved the baby Dooku one [face_laugh] so cute! And the one with Qui with Xan (I'm assuming here) as a baby and Dooku going...oh great! [face_laugh]

    Well done my dear! (for helping with those who are confused about the Jo and Dooku pairing... in one of the SW Insiders, the actress who played Jocasta stated that her character and Dooku did have a thing back in the day sooo if it's there is it not canon? ;) )

    So glad to see more updates on this! :D :D [face_dancing]
     
  10. Persephone_Kore

    Persephone_Kore Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 19, 2006
    21. Poor mom. [:D] Aww, Qui.

    22. Oh, goodness. The imagery feels so wild, even with the ruffly tent. I love the indigo and glittery black.

    23. Dooku: "Oh, no, I have to explain this to Crion and then fly back to Coruscant with a baby." Hee. And aww. And poor Qui-Gon, eventually.

    24. Obi-Wan with purple beans. Socute.

    25. EEEEEEP. *shudders* There's something a little extra added when a Qui-Gon fan writes Maul like that.
     
  11. Star-Foozle

    Star-Foozle Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Aug 24, 2006
    You updated!! *joy* [face_dancing]

    And this was perhaps the definition of cute.

    21. Like P_K said, poor mom. Such a desolate place, but there's hope for little Qui, at the very least.

    22. I adore the imagery, here, with the seabirds and indigo-black beach. I'd love to see more of Serenno from you, because this snippet here has gotten me intrigued. The phrase ...eyes wide with the light of the sky is entirely poetic. This one was my favorite.

    23. Oh, dear. :D But yes, poor Qui, eventually. And even as a baby, Xan's causing havoc.

    24. Skeptically, Dox examined the baby Loomi was trying to feed spoonfuls of purple bean, noting spiky, gingered hair and the little hand determinedly smearing purple into it.

    That reminds me so much of my own baby cousin, with the smearing of brightly-colored food items, haha. Baby!Obi equals teh cuteness.

    25. Oh, Jess. Absolutely chilling. I have never, never pitied Maul up until a minute or so ago. You've managed to change my opinion of a character in exactly one-hundred words, which is definitely something.

    Children are not given choices.

    *shudders*

    Great work on these, as always, and I hope to see more soon!

    [:D]
     
  12. ardavenport

    ardavenport Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 16, 2004
    I like how they each focus on the five senses. In story writing I heard ages ago that you're supposed to try to appeal to all of them to fill out the narrative.

    Poor little Qui-Gon coming from the smell of poverty. Dooku did better with the sound of the sea. Xanatos was touched by Qui-Gon. Obi-Wan gets a taste. And cute little Maul sees his future.........cute little Maul is a little hard to imagine, but as the story says, "Children are not given choices." Very nice.

     
  13. Nienna_Narmolanya

    Nienna_Narmolanya Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 5, 2005
    Aww! Babies! :D *immediately melts*

    I like how you showed all those familiar faces as babies. :) I especially liked the one about Qui-Gon (it's heartwrenching how desperate his mother was) and the one about Maul (just chilling).

    Great drabbles, Charmisjess! =D= Sorry I was late getting here. [face_blush]
     
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