Beyond - Legends Chasing Dreams (L/M, post-NJO, repost) Complete!

Luke has to be careful with that alcohol. Drinking and having blackouts is never good. I think Leia, Han and Mara should give Luke an intervention....but knowing Han he will be drinking while reading his intervention letter. lol!

 

Wow - what an emotional passage. I hope they do eventually discuss what happened. I know Luke was fairly drunk but I enjoyed him 'looking' at Mara and the fact that she allowed it - until the kiss. More than anything I think he shocked her.

 

A little from column A, a little from column B

I think Mara was in love with him at this stage, but didn't want to admit it, so to be treated as what she thought was a mere rebound was upsetting. And yes, they do discuss it later!

Yeah, its not an ideal situation to be in!

It happens so rarely, I guess

"Kid, I'm here to tell you that Leia made me do this. Now let's drink."

Mara was indeed shocked, which was why she let him go so far! And also because she secretly loves him

_______________________________________________

Skywalker Apartment, Coruscant. 32 ABY


She wasn't exactly sure why she'd come. Perhaps some of that latent courage, the woman inside of her that had defiantly faced death on the Eye of Palpatine, who had remained strong and true during those terrible years that followed. There was something left in her perhaps, that couldn't rest until she had followed through - until she had found peace again. The Callista she used to be would never have said such sordid things about another woman as she had said to Luke. Would never have tried to entice him away from his wife. It had been despicable behaviour - for which she had deserved his anger and rejection.

It truly had not been her intention, for Callista had never thought of herself as that kind of woman. When she’d heard of Luke’s marriage, she had been resolved to accept it, but when she had seen Luke after so many years, all of her old feelings had rushed back to her. She remembered the way Luke had once held her, and kissed her malt hair, and sworn that he would love her forever. Callista had let those feelings, made more intense by her longing and loneliness, overwhelm her. But that was no excuse for how she had behaved – they were not the actions of a Jedi, even one without the Force.

Perhaps that was the reason she was seated across from Mara Jade, whose cold green eyes bore into her soul. Maybe she needed the chance for amends - if she was truly to join the Jedi. Callista winced under the scrutiny, but was sure Luke had not told Mara of her most unsavoury actions, since she was not lying in a lightsaber-defiled heap on the floor. For that, she supposed she should be thankful.

Callista shifted uneasily in her seat, her mouth dry and unable to form the words she wanted. Mara folded her arms and huffed angrily in response.

"I don't know when Luke will be back." There was venom in her tone.

Callista cleared her throat, apprehensively. She'd noticed that the moment she'd arrived. She was sure that if Luke had been at the apartment, she would have been herded away but as it was, Mara appeared to be feeling generous.

"Actually," Callista began, "I came to see you."

A red-gold eyebrow tilted sceptically as Mara looked her up and down. "What could we possibly have to say to one another?"

"Look, Mara," she took a chance with using her given name. "I didn't come here to provoke you."

Surprisingly, Mara let out a resigned sigh, her expression softening. "Fine." She gestured for Callista to continue.

Callista searched inside of herself for the right words. "I suppose Luke told you what I spoke to him about?"

A smirk appeared on Mara's face, and Callista regretted bringing it up. Still, if they were going to see each other, even in passing, it was best to find some sort of common ground.

"Luke did mention you wanting to rejoin the Jedi." Mara's bright eyes flicked. "I pointed out that the Temple kitchen needs a new Nerf Chef," she continued, her smug expression set. Callista balked at the insult, her mouth opening in horror, but that only seemed to fuel Mara even more. "And of course, there's always room on the groundskeeping staff. And the refresher facilities don't clean themselves." Mara smiled at her, raising a challenging eyebrow.

Callista wanted to run, to rush away from the indignity, but reminded herself that there was a higher purpose to her being here. And, hadn't she said much worse, much more damaging things about Mara to Luke? At least the other woman had the courage to say what she felt to Callista's face. Although the shame burned into her, Callista knew she had to bear it. Mara wanted to make her angry, see her suffer, and she wouldn't give the other woman the satisfaction.

"Mara, please." Callista eyed her defiantly. "I came here to talk, not trade insults with you like a couple of padawan schoolchildren."

This seemed to sober Mara as the smile was replaced by a more recognisable scowl. "Fine." She gestured again. "So talk."

*************************

"Dad?"

Luke peered around the hull of his X-wing, and struggled not to laugh at the sight of his son. Ben had found his flight helmet and it was currently balancing precariously on his head. The small boy held it steady, peering through the too-large flight goggles. Luke covered his expression in a mask of seriousness.

"I think it's a bit big for you, Ben."

Ben clucked his tongue and gave him a sceptical look. "Of course it's too big, Dad. It's yours."

"Oh," Luke nodded seriously. "Of course." He received a brilliant smile in return, and Ben bounded up to him, examining the hull that Luke was working on. "Look alright?" Luke asked, crouching down to his knees behind his son.

Ben squinted examining the alterations on the panel carefully. He then turned back to his father and nodded approvingly. Luke smiled, patting Ben gently on the back, before handing him a multitool. He showed Ben the exposed wiring, explaining where exactly to apply pressure and fix the problem. Mara would have his head if she knew Luke was allowing Ben to be so hands-on with machinery, so close to open wiring and possible danger. But Ben was a fast learner, and Luke had discovered his son had a great aptitude in the area. He was more than happy to show him the basics and allow him to help. Luke would never allow Ben to be hurt, and what Mara didn't know wouldn't hurt her.

The time passed easily between the two of them, Luke supportive and encouraging, Ben so eager to learn, in awe as Luke told him stories from his piloting days. He listened adoringly, asking questions and simply happy to be with him. It was these moments, Luke realised, this simple time with his son is what he had missed most from the past few years. A time when he was just a father with his small son, without the worries of the world pressing down on both of them.

Luke was loathe to ruin it, but he could no longer ignore what Mara had discussed with him a few nights previous - Ben's diminished sense in the Force. He could feel it now, since his presence was harder to pinpoint, and lacking in clarity. It troubled Luke, to feel such uneasiness. He and Mara had tried not to thrust the Force upon their son, allowing him to form his own identity other than that of a Jedi. But Luke had always tried to encourage the use of the Force, since Ben had always shown such immense potential.

But rather than work himself up over the development, Luke thought it was best to confront the issue with his son.

"Ben?" He tried to make his tone as neutral as possible.

"Yeah?" Ben didn't turn his head away from his work. Luke gently reached out a hand to cover his son's, guiding him into the right position against the panelling.

"Was there anything you wanted to talk to me about?" He kept a steady hand on Ben's, careful not to let the tool slip from the boy’s fingers.

"Like when you're gonna teach me to fly?" He tweaked the multitool and twisted a wire free.

"Not exactly." Luke sighed, leaning back to examine Ben's adjustments. "I mean about how you are feeling. If everything is okay."

Ben halted slightly, but readjusted his grip on the tool and continued to work. "I'm fine, Dad."

"Okay." Luke shifted. "What about the conversation we had the other night? Are you... alright with everything we talked about?"

"That was a whole week ago." Ben rolled his eyes. "You and Mama made up."

Luke pulled down a new panel and began to examine it. "So you're not... " He struggled to find the words. "Hurting any more?"

Shifting closer to Luke, Ben turned his attention to the newly exposed machinery. "It feels better," he admitted. "It doesn't hurt... so much".

Luke placed a reassuring hand on Ben's shoulder, turning the boy to face him fully. Carefully, he pulled the helmet off his head and looked deeply into his eyes. "Because you're shutting out the Force?"

If Luke had any doubts that Ben's actions were deliberate they would have been confirmed by Ben's sorrowful expression. Ben leaned back on his haunches, close to the ship, dropping his multitool.

Ben's face flushed as his head bowed. "I thought it would be okay."

Luke gently put his hand beneath Ben's chin, lifting the boy's downcast face, his eyes already filling with tears.

"I'm sorry, Dad." His face crinkled as he tried to hold the tears in. "I wanna be like you... but it's so hard."

Impulsively, Luke swept his son into his arms and held him tightly. Although diminished, he could still feel Ben's pain through the Force. His desire to please him, to become the Jedi Luke wanted him to be. The inadequacy he felt at what he felt was his failure - it almost broke Luke's heart. He pulled back slightly, looking at his son's tear-streaked face. Gently he pushed Ben's strawberry-blonde hair out of his eyes and gave him a reassuring smile.

"I love you, Ben," he began softly. "Nothing you ever do will disappoint me - or your mother. I want you to follow your own path, not mine." His thumb came to bush away Ben's tears. "You have such a strength in the Force, but if you chose not to use it, I will support you."

Ben didn't look convinced. "Mama would say it was giving up."

"No." Luke shook his head, trying to impress to words as strongly as he could. "There is a difference between giving up and... knowing when to step back. Your mother would never want you to suffer in that way." Not in the way she has, Luke thought silently. "Ben, no matter what you choose, we will be here for you."

Ben finally raised his gaze to Luke's and a broad smile broke out on his face. "Promise?"

Luke again drew his son into a tight embrace. "Of course."

*****************************

Callista steeled herself, taking a deep breath before meeting Mara's gaze. "I've always envied you, Mara."

This seemed to take the other woman by surprise, and she shifted uncomfortably in her chair. She had probably never expected Callista to admit her resentment so freely. But she knew this was the only way, if she was going to survive here.

"Even when I was with Luke, you had this - hold on him," she continued. "The two of you had a connection in the Force that I'd lost. And then when I came back, I hated you for being happy." Callista's gut twisted and bearing her feelings so openly to the woman she'd always considered an enemy. "That you have the life I should have had. All I could think was that you'd stolen it from me."

"You walked away from him freely, Callista." Mara's words were harsh, but there was a softness to her tone, the lack of acidity she'd displayed before.

"I know," Callista admitted. "But it still hurt. I'd always thought, hoped even, that Luke would have never gotten over me, and the love we shared."

"Rather selfish of you."

Callista glanced away. "Sometimes love is selfish," she said softly. Her gaze returned to the woman opposite. "I heard about your disease." The words seemed to unsettle Mara, and her eyes darkened slightly. Obviously it was a time in her life that Mara did not wish to be reminded of. "He wanted to help you so much, didn't he? Not understanding that his attention, his care, his very love was stifling you. That it was something you needed to deal with on your own."

Mara shifted uncomfortably, taking in a shaky breath. Callista knew she'd hit close to home.

"I never would have left him," Mara's voice wavered ever so slightly. “Not ever.”

"But you thought about it," Callista pressed on, knowing she was right. "You felt guilt that he was devoting all of his time and energy to you, when he should have been leading the Jedi, fighting a war?" She smiled sadly. "We're more alike than you think, Mara."

Callista expected a retort, a defiant insult or another outburst, but Mara was surprisingly calm. She wouldn't meet Callista's gaze, and she knew that perhaps, she'd struck of chord with the woman. She was grateful for the breakthrough. While they would never be friends, or perhaps even amiable acquaintances, Callista knew at least they shared one thing - a love for Luke. They could learn to accept one another.

When Mara spoke, her voice was softer and more exposed that Callista had ever heard it.

"Ben seemed to like you," she said, her smooth gaze rising to meet her eyes once more. "And Luke loved you, once. He still cares about you." Mara took a deep breath. "Perhaps I should trust their judgment?"

Callista spoke just as softly. "I would appreciate that."

For the first time since she'd arrived, Mara gave her a somewhat genuine smile. It was small and almost imperceptible, but Callista appreciated the effort. Somehow she believed that a true smile from Mara Jade, even a small one, meant the world.

"I wouldn't give up on love, Callista," Mara said, uncharacteristically tenderly. Her eyes glossed over in her musings, and her smile widened. "I never imagined that the Force would lead me to this, but I'm so grateful for it."

For once, Callista did not feel jealously when she looked at the woman before her - she saw the love in her gaze, and understood Luke's words to her. She saw the bond between them, and accepted it.

"If I'm honest, I don't think I will love again,” Callista shared with her one-time adversary.

"Oh?" Looking intrigued, Mara leaned forward slightly.

"No, I don't think it's in my path," Callista smiled softly. "I've always given my life to love first. First Geith, then Luke. I lived for them rather than myself. Even when I left, I still thought of them, and I think it blocked my way." She felt a sense of peace overcome her, the knowledge that she was speaking the truth, and following the right instincts. "I am a Jedi of Old, Mara, and I never acted like one. I must dedicate my life to the Force if I am ever to find it again."

Mara nodded, but was quickly distracted by something Callista couldn't hear or sense. It took a moment for her to realise that Mara was looking towards the entrance, and a few moments more before she realised there was someone there. She looked at Mara, expecting for her to stand and go towards the door, but she turned back to Callista and gave her a mischievous smile.

She heard the sound of the door activating and within moments Luke entered the room, Ben perched on his shoulders, ducking to avoid hitting the ceiling. He halted immediately as his gaze settled on the two women. He cleared his throat nervously, but Ben chuckled, and began to climb down off his father's shoulders. He ran towards his mother, climbing up on the couch beside her.

"Hi 'Lista," he smiled, either unaware or ignoring the apparent discomfort of his father.

Callista smiled in return. "Hello Ben," she turned towards the man still frozen in the doorway. "Luke."

"Callista." Luke nodded in return, glancing surreptiously at Mara.

Perhaps, one day, the three of them would be able to be in a room together without the discomfort and tension filling the space between them, but Callista knew it would take more time. Mara clearly wasn't planning on reducing Luke's uneasiness any, so Callista thought it best to take her leave. She nodded to Mara with newfound understanding and she hoped, solidarity.

"Thank you for the talk, Mara." Callista stood, straightening her worn clothing, trying to sum up as much dignity as she could to walk towards Luke. She knew what she had said in her apartment to him had been unforgivable, and yet she knew that for Luke, compassion was never an impossibility. She finally reaslied, looking at him with Mara, with his son, that she’d never been what he needed, and could never have made him as happy as he was with his small family. All she’d been chasing was a dream, one that would always fade in the light of dawn.

"Callista," Mara's voice stopped her. "I... I hope you find your path."

She nodded gratefully in return, before walking to meet Luke at the entrance. He followed her into the front alcove, out of the view of the living room, smiling warmly.

"I talked to Tionne today," he said, clasping her gently on the arm. "She needs help with administration work, if you are willing. Especially in further research of Jedi history, which I think you would be suited for." He squeezed her arm affectionately. "You can see her at any time for the details."

"Thank you, Luke," Callista smiled but did not return his warm caress. "For doing this for me."

"I want the best for you, Callista," he said softly. "I want you to be happy."

"Lista, wait!" Ben skidded across the floor towards them, breathless. He swallowed heavily. "I told my friend about you."

"Oh?" Callista looked questioning at Luke, but he gave her a shake of his head and a don't ask gesture.

"Yep." Ben continued, nodding vigorously. "He said that sometimes when we're ready, what we want will find us." He looked curiously up at her. "Do you know what that means? He wouldn't tell me."

Callista almost didn't know what to say. She remembered Ben's appraisal of her sense in the Force when they'd first met. Like a cloudy day, when the sun is hiding.

"Yes,” she whispered softly. "Yes, I know what it means."

"Good." Ben grinned. "Will I see you again?"

Glancing at Luke, Callista was unsure of how to answer.

"I'm sure you will," Luke said resolutely, patting his son lightly on the back. "Now go tell your mother about how you didn't help me with the X-wing today."

Ben gave his father a conspiratorial wink. "I only watched, right?" He chuckled lightly. "Bye, 'Lista!" he yelled, running back towards the living room.

"Goodbye Ben," she called softly. Smiling, she turned back to the man before her. "You have a wonderful family, Luke." Slowly, she leaned in towards him, giving him a light, chaste kiss on the cheek. "I'm so glad you're happy."

She pulled back and took one final look at her former love, and knew this was the last time she would think of him in that way. "Goodbye, Luke," she whispered, so softly she barely heard it herself. And without so much as another look back, she walked out of his life.


*******************

Luke flopped down onto the couch next to her, and Mara swung her legs up over his lap.

"You survived?" He smiled at her mindlessly and rubbed her shins affectionately.

"Hmmm," she regarded his apparent good mood. "It would seem so."

"So, thoughts, ruminations, musings?" he asked, still grinning. "Anything more to share with me?"

Mara smiled and leaned back against the cushions. "I think I've done enough soul-baring in the past few weeks."

"Fair enough." He took stock of the room. "Ben?"

Mara smiled. "Gone to examine his toy X-wing. Apparently he's been inspired to make some 'modifications' on it."

"Oh." Luke smiled again. "Wonder where he got that idea?"

"Hmmmm." Mara let it pass. They sat in silence for a few moments, as she studied the face of her husband. He looked more relaxed than he had in weeks. Months, even. Mara knew she would look the same. The final visit from Callista had lifted the huge bearing weight from her shoulders. It was true, she might see her occasionally around the Temple, but Mara no longer bore her any ill will. Every malicious, jealous and resentful thought had been purged from her mind. It felt like such freedom.

"I was thinking about Ben's 'friend' today." Luke interrupted her quiet contemplation.

"Oh?" Mara was inquisitive. "Get to the bottom of it, then?"

"I just think he's lonely, Mara." Luke reached for her hand. "He went through so much during the war - more than we understood - he's still feeling the pain from it. That's why he's shutting out the Force, why he created this friend, to help him through it."

"We should be helping him through it," Mara cut in shortly. She didn't like to think that her son couldn't confide in her.

Luke rubbed her leg reassuringly. "And we will. But he's afraid of disappointing us. You remember what that is like."

Mara grimaced. She remembered all too well what that kind pressure was like. "He wants a confident - someone on his own level," she added, understanding. Force knows she could have used that growing up.

Luke nodded. "He needs someone to talk to... and I know I haven't been here enough for him. But I intend to be."

Mara sat up, shifting onto Luke's lap, leaning her head against his shoulder. "You know how I feel, Luke. But are you sure you want to move away from Coruscant?"

Nodding resolutely, putting his arms around her tightly. "I'll talk to Omas tomorrow." He took an apprehensive breath. "And I also think... " He hesitated.

"What?" Mara ran her fingers over his chest encouragingly.

"That, no matter what, we should keep Ben with us." He looked at her expectantly.

"On missions, you mean?"

He nodded again. "I don't want to miss out on one more second of our son's life."

Mara looked up at him. "Even if it puts him in danger?"

"I think," Luke gently reached to cup her cheek with soft fingers. "It would cause him more damage if we keep leaving him behind. He might see it as a rejection." He reached to kiss her softly. "Don't worry, my love. We'll be okay."

Mara embraced him tightly. "Even if Ben never finds the Force again?" She wanted the best for her son, but she knew the pain of denying the pull of the Force for far too long.

Luke held onto her tightly, his cheek brushing against hers softly. "Yes. Believe me, Mara that nothing will ever come between the three of us."

In the warmth of his embrace and hearing the soft, resolute sounds of his voice, she did believe him. Never again would she be forced away from her family, have to survive without them, without the close comfort of their unconditional love.


No threat - past or future, would ever come between the three of them again.

 

Happy happy Wonderful talks and easing of grievances. Genuine emotions from everyone. You really know how to show at a fantab level of intensity, not too much or little. And this is or could be a puzzler with Mara, how to have her show her various emotions in an IC fashion. I loved her snark and her vulnerability. Her emotional maturity is terrific.

You can see Callista's growth and resolve too. Her realization that grasping at romantic love was like chasing a dream ... insightful.

I also applaud Luke and Mara's decision to keep their family together. Best choice.

 

I enjoyed the bonding between Luke and Ben at the X-wing - boys will be boys. And his decision to keep Ben with them at all times.

 

I still don't like Callista, nope. Nuh uh. But the bit between Luke and Ben was sweet. Hopefully he finds his way back to the Force soon, once he realizes that Daddy loves him more than he thinks he does right now.

 

Final chapter - thanks for reading!
____


Skywalker Apartment, Coruscant. 32 ABY.


The mid-afternoon breeze drifted in from the open balcony, bringing the sallow, fading sounds of Coruscant winding down. The soft afternoon sun highlighted the gold in her hair, and played across her skin, tinting it a deep bronze colour. For a moment, Luke almost forgot why he'd come as he stood mutely in the doorway of the bedroom. He watched his wife, lightly dozing on the bed, her boots still securely fastened to her feet and her Jedi robe flung carelessly over a repulsor-chair.

Luke started towards her carefully, very aware of the precious gift he carried on the tray in his arms. He set in gently down on the side-table and sat next to his wife on the bed. He wouldn't wake her just yet. No, Luke Skywalker enjoyed these silent moments of contemplation, watching the curve of her eyelashes, the arc of her neck as it met her perfect shoulder. The light fluttering of her eyelids and the slight, silent words that her dreams formed on her mouth. He had seen the image more times than he could count, but he never ceased to be fascinated by it. Or to remind himself how lucky he was.

It wasn't long before his thoughts began to bleed into her consciousness, because he could see the slight movement to her lips in the beginnings of a smile. He leaned over and placed a soft kiss to the upturned corner of her mouth. When he pulled back, he was rewarded by the fluttering of her eyelids, revealing the smoky jade depths beneath them. Mara's smile became wider as she focused on his face, bestowing him with an adorning gaze.

"What were you dreaming?" Luke asked gently, reaching for her hand.

Her smile became secretive, her eyes drifting closed again for a few moments. When she opened them again, they were completely clear, twinkling mischievously.

"It doesn't matter," she whispered, holding his hand in both of hers. "Being awake is so much more enjoyable." She tugged his hand slightly, and he obligingly lay down beside her, his forehead pressed against hers.

"It's not like you to sleep during the day," Luke said softly, his hand moving slowly down her waist to rest on her hip.

A small crease formed between Mara's eyes as she glanced at the wall chrono. "No." If Luke didn't know better, he was sure she seemed embarrassed. "I suppose running around after Ben today finally caught up with me." She gave him a reassuring smile and moved more tightly into his embrace. "He has your stamina, Skywalker," she added teasingly.

Luke was just about to snap a witty retort back to her when he remembered the tray beside the bed, and reluctantly untangled himself from his wife.

"I have something for you," he whispered, kissing her softly as he rose.

Looking inquisitive, Mara sat up, stretching the cramped muscles in her neck and eyeing him eagerly. The look faded to scepticism when Luke handed her a small teacup. Luke smiled and nodded encouragingly as Mara regarded the beverage he'd prepared for her. He watched as she catalogued the slight purplish colour to the tea, the strong aroma that wafted from the cup, and waited for her to make the connection. After a few moments, a wide smile appeared on her face.

"Massassi tea." She took a small sip and did not blanche at the bitter taste. "But I don't have a fever," she eyed him teasingly.

"Oh, I don't know," Luke shifted closer, very pleased with himself. "It is rather hot in here." He placed a soft kiss to the juncture between her neck and shoulder.

"You're just trying to keep me in your bed, Skywalker." Mara smiled, taking another sip, trying her best to ignore his ministrations.

"You read me like a datapad, Jade." Luke moved up to the spot just below her ear. He was pleased when Mara didn't answer, and he reached out to take the cup from her fingers, placing it out of danger. He shifted closer to her and was surprised when Mara's hand came to rest on his chest, gently stopping him from progressing with what he had in mind. The smile on her face had disappeared; instead she wore a serious, intent expression.

"I never thanked you for that." Mara's eyes deepened as she spoke, an almost imperceptible clouding of her mind.

Luke gave her a gentle smile and placed his hand over hers where it rested against his chest, entwining their fingers. They'd never spoken of that time spent in his quarters on Yavin - he'd never really thought it necessary to bring it up.

Mara tugged on his hand, pulling him towards her and into a crushing embrace. "Thank you," she whispered hoarsely, her voice thick with emotion. His arms wound around her in return, and he smiled into her hair. Gently, he pushed Mara back down onto the bedspread, covering her body with his own.

She sighed, and accepted the movement, her previous anxiety forgotten and he gently pressed a sweet kiss to her lips. She accepted him, and Luke hands slipped down to her waist, resting on the trim of her tunic.

Mara broke the kiss and smiled teasingly up at him. "So, what occasion warrants this gift, Luke? I know the Massassi extract couldn't have been easy to find."

It hadn’t, but to Luke that was of little consequence. The smile on her face when she’d drunk the tea had been worth it, at it had arrived just in time.

"I'm surprised you don't remember, Mara." His fingers gently brushed over the swell of her lips. "The anniversary of our first kiss." He bestowed another on her, as a reminder.

"Hmmmm. Almost drowning on an outer-rim world trying to prevent the rise of a new Empire is certainly a reason to celebrate," she pestered him, albeit breathlessly.

Not to be dissuaded by her teasing, Luke began to place small, sucking kisses down the arch of her neck.

"Well, I've always thought so." He nuzzled her collarbone mischievously. He was rewarded with a slight giggle, and he knew he'd found one of her most ticklish spots.

"I hate to tell you this, Luke," she forced out, between gasps and slight laughter. "But that wasn't our first kiss."

He stopped his attentions immediately, his head whipping up to regard her curiously. "I'm sorry?"

"The time after you proposed wasn't the first kiss we shared," Mara clarified.

Luke was beyond confused and he sat up to regard her. "I'm sure I kissed you a few times on the cheek, but I hardly think... "

Mara laughed disbelievingly and sat up as well. "I can't believe that after all this time, you still don't remember." She crossed her arms over her chest, her face the picture of amusement.

"Remember what?" Luke said, exasperated. There were very few times when his wife could truly confuse and irritate him, but her cryptic answers were beginning to get the better of his patience. Probably sensing his annoyance, Mara simply shrugged, a smug smile gracing her face.

"Never mind." She lay back down on the bed, inviting him to continue their previous activities.

But Luke would not be placated nor distracted - the curiosity and confusion driving him mad. He shut his eyes, using the Force to probe his mind, searching for any hidden or suppressed memories regarding him and Mara before their encounter at Nirauan.

Eventually he stumbled across a hazy, clouded image, locked within the recesses of his psyche. He saw his wife, much younger, but no less vibrant or beautiful. He saw himself seated next to her, dishevelled and bleary-eyed. He heard his own slurred voice, the ghostly reverberations of his words echoing around his mind. Saw himself brushing his fingers across her neck and face, winding through her hair, and - oh stars - reaching in determinately to kiss her.

Luke drew himself out of his trance, giving Mara a shamefaced expression of regret. She was smiling slightly at him, but he could tell it was false. He'd hurt her deeply that night. Luke cautiously lay back down beside her, pulling her gently into his embrace. Suddenly, he saw all too acutely exactly why Mara had reacted to Callista's reappearance so fiercely. It was in part the remembered pain of his advances on her, so soon after he had been abandoned. Luke felt the warm colour rise to his cheeks. She must have seen herself as a replacement, that he had sought her out to ease his grief and nothing more.

"I'm so sorry, Mara," he whispered in her ear. If only he had remembered - had been able to apologise to her. If only he'd had the sense to recognise his feeling for what they were, made her understand why he had kissed her, made himself...

She must have picked up on his thoughts, because Mara turned around in his arms.

"No, Luke," she shook her head softly. "I wouldn't have been ready...you wouldn't have been ready." Her deft fingers caressed his cheek. "We needed the time apart."

He nodded. "I just wish... " he trailed off, unsure of what he wanted to say.

Mara placed a soft kiss to his lips. "I don't consider those wasted years, Luke. Not at all." She played absently with the small beads that hung around her neck, the ones that he had carved for her from the bark of the Massassi trees. During her convalescence on Yavin after she’d been struck down by Massassi fever she’d watched him whittle small carvings for his niece and nephews. She’d refused his offer of a gift as well but he’d promised that one day he would make something for her. It wasn’t until years later, during the Vong war, that he’d fulfilled that vow.

“I said I couldn’t think of anything I’d want,” she said quietly, picking up on his thoughts and twirling the beads between her fingers.

Luke smiled self-consciously. “I doubt that you ever wanted those, but you still wear them.” It had been an odd gift, Luke could admit that to himself, but it had been the only thing he could think of to make from the bark at the time.

“Of course,” Mara said earnestly. “Because I can think of something I want now. You.”

It was an uncharacteristically simple declaration of affection, the kind it had taken Mara many years to learn how to make. But that only made the love in Luke’s heart blossom as his arms tightened against her. She was right that they needed to find themselves before they found each other, but now that they had he wasn’t ever going to let go. She lay her head against his chest and sighed happily as he kissed her hair.

"I love you, Mara," he whispered into her red-gold curls, seeing the smile on her lips, feeling the smile in her heart.

"I'll never doubt it," she answered, her voice muffled slightly by his tunic. But he felt the emotion of her words, the weight of them filling the empty spaces of his soul. He stroked her hair gently, rhythmically, easing her back into a gentle sleep, feeling the pull of his own eyes willing to close. Luke yawned and settled deeper into the bed, closer to his wife, for once untroubled by his fear for the Jedi, for his family. Contentment flowed through him easily, freely, and he marveled at the sensation.

It was that he heard soft footsteps in the hall, at the entrance to the room. Luke peered over his wife's shoulder, smiling at the small strawberry-blonde crop of hair that had appeared in the doorway. Without words, Luke gestured for his son to join them, and Ben bounced happily and perhaps a little too excitedly onto the bed. Luke pressed a stern finger to his lips and looked pointedly at Mara, who was already deeply asleep.

Ben looked sheepish, and crawled very slowly and quietly into the space between his father and mother. Luke lifted his arm to accept him into the fold of their embrace, and Ben snuggled down into the warm, loving cocoon. Luke smiled again, a true, unfettered smile at the two people he loved most, safe in his arms, before finally allowing his eyes to drift closed in contentment.


They fell asleep like that, Mara pressed close to her husband's side, Ben nestled in tightly with his head pillowed against his mother's waist, and Luke with his arms around the both of them.

 

I loved how they talked about the "first" kiss they ever shared. Mara is beautifully vulnerable in this chapter as only a woman who is content with herself and the love she has found can be.

I love the cozy/comfy image of family cuddles at the end.

I have loved each and every word of this. I am very happy you were able to share with us, again.

 

Awwww! So sweet. I'm glad you reposted this for those of us who missed it the first time around.

 

Owww,so sweet chapter full of warmness.Just beautiful,that I am melting.

 

Lovely! What a perfect ending.

 

THE FEELS ARE STRONG WITH THIS ONE.

 

A great end to a great story! I like that Callista made penance, so to speak, although still don't think she'll be having dinner with the Skywalkers any time soon. I'm glad they're all going to be spending time together as a family. And now that you've posted it, I DO remember them talking about their first kiss. Pity Luke didn't remember it. Mara's right, though, they did need that time to get to know themselves before getting together, or else things might have gone horribly wrong between them.

Thank you for reposting this!

 

Well, you know this has been one of my favorite fics for almost TEN YEARS now. And what a treat to get new scenes and an edited fic, especially when we thought for one heart-stopping moment that this fic was lost to truncation forever. I loved it then, I love it now, I love it always. You just get L/M, girl, and I'm so glad you are here writing for your fans and friends again!!!

 

Oh man...this was so beautiful!!!! I'm confused maybe about Anakin's intentions...was he good? Was he bad? Was he weird? IDK...but you ended it so nicely and so sweet! I love how Luke commemorated the anniversary, and Mara's willingness to finally tell him was heartbreakingly lovely

Amazing and so so sweet!!!!!!!! Thank you for such a precious gem!!!
Irish

 

Thank you! I appreciate everyone who has read this (and re-read this!) I enjoy exploring Mara's vulnerabilities, and of course ending with happy family time

Thanks! I'm pretty proud of this fic, so it was lovely to post it again.

Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it.

Thanks!

Hahaha. Thank you!

Thanks! Callista and Mara won't ever be friends, but they've come to terms and I think it they are both better for it. Although I would have liked to Luke and Mara to get together before VOTF, it did kind of make sense with everything they went through and all of their issues.

It's hard to believe it's almost been ten years...yeesh! I'm so glad that I was able to revise and repost this and it wasn't lost 0 your support was eessentialgal, and I am so grateful. And I am glad to be back!

Thank you! In hindsight the whole Anakin thing is a bit of a dropped plot - when it was first written it was meant to be uplifting that Anakin would be there to help Ben through his struggles in the Dark Nest trilogy and beyond but...let's just say the EU didn't turn out the way I thought it would (or wanted it to!). I may do a sequel to this one day about how those events would unfold with Anakin and Callista in the mix.

 

You WILL make this sequel...

 

Buya Of course, JadeLotus's DDC is upcoming, so yay!

 

I don't know how I missed this last chapter. It was so sweet and it is nice to watch a loved one sleep or find out that they have been watching you sleep.