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Senate Cheating on a significant other or spouse

Discussion in 'Community' started by blubeast1237, Jun 30, 2014.

  1. mrsvos

    mrsvos Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Nov 18, 2005
    Oh, lookie here, I never attend the Senate so I didn't see this. I am not polyamorus, despite my jokes I've been married 21 years with zero infedelity on either side. I spend a great deal of time with polyamorus friends and community and I can tell you the percentage of people that live this lifestyle with no consequense is miniscule. Some folks think just because they attended a fringe or lifestyle fesival or two that they are 'all in' and it usually ends in tears. Some festivals even are throwing that into their opening ceremonies now, along with 'no means no' is ' ask yourself if it's worth it'. Being surrounded by many bed partners is a lonely path than you think.
     
  2. Darth Guy

    Darth Guy Chosen One star 10

    Registered:
    Aug 16, 2002
    Who would've thought? :p
     
  3. WriterMan

    WriterMan Jedi Knight star 3

    Registered:
    Nov 26, 2012
    I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that adultery is wrong.


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
     
  4. anakinfansince1983

    anakinfansince1983 Nightsister of Four Realms star 9 Staff Member Manager

    Registered:
    Mar 4, 2011
    That's not a limb. That's what most people in the thread have said.
     
    yankee8255, Ender Sai and Juliet316 like this.
  5. Ben_Skywalker

    Ben_Skywalker Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    May 20, 2001
    So is it "adultery" if you're not married?
     
  6. Ben_Skywalker

    Ben_Skywalker Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    May 20, 2001
    If it is, then what changes when you go from "dating" to "marriage" in terms of a sexual relationship? Doesn't seem like much?

    I could argue that when you marry someone, you state vows to each other which cover a variety of things. When you're dating someone, none of that is there. You're not expected to share money, have shared responsibilities,etc. So why is sex different?
     
  7. vypernight

    vypernight Jedi Knight star 3

    Registered:
    Nov 1, 2012
    The problem I have with cheating (besides the fact that my father was a cheating scumbag) is that, by leaving at least one partner in the dark, you're preventing them from having any choice in that type of relationship. If you want to be with more than one person, you shoul make sure everyone involved is okay with it first. Otherwise, things usually don't end well for anyone involved.

    Granted some exceptions may exist (such as someone in an abusive relationship finding comfort with someone else), but whenever you're going behind your partner's back, tread carefully. Things can fall apart in the blink of an eye, an iat apocolyptic levels.

    I remember seeing a woman who claimed she was divorced, only to learn leater that she meant, 'wanting a divorce.' She was still married to the man, living with him, etc., but she was seeing me behind his back. I'm glad we didn't get far intimately, and as soon as I found out, I bolted.

    While I've never claimed to be a bastion of morality, I've seen situations likes these all too many times, and none of them ended well. My wife and I also have an agreement that's basically a 'One Strike Policy.' If either is caught going behind the other's back, it's over immediately. No second chances, no looking back. If i'm that stupid, I deserve to get burned, and the same goes for her.
     
  8. anakinfansince1983

    anakinfansince1983 Nightsister of Four Realms star 9 Staff Member Manager

    Registered:
    Mar 4, 2011
    As I think I said when this thread started, it's a trust issue, not a sex issue.

    The assumption when people talk about "cheating" or "adultery" is that one partner does not know that the other is having sex outside the relationship.

    vypernight pretty much covered it with the statement about the partner being left in the dark, having no choices.
     
  9. Beezer

    Beezer Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 5, 2013
    I don't want to argue morality, but I will tell you this: There are definitely legal consequences to cheating on your spouse that aren't present if you cheat on your girlfriend. Realistically speaking, there are no legal consequences whatsoever to cheating on a girlfriend. But if you cheat on your wife? In most states, she can use that as grounds for divorce and have the dissolution of the marriage be considered your fault and if the judge rules you are at fault, you'll pay more (in terms of alimony, child support, equitable distribution) than if it is a no-fault divorce.
     
  10. Ben_Skywalker

    Ben_Skywalker Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    May 20, 2001

    I disagree it's solely a trust issue. People in relationships lie to each other about a lot of things. Granted, they're mostly white lies but still. People can argue that you can't trust someone who tells white lies all the time.

    I think it's very much a sex issue. Sex is a very intimate thing and the idea that you're sharing that intimacy with someone else can be very frustrating.

    And for the record, I am NOT advocating for cheating/adultery! Just trying to see it from a different point of view.
     
  11. anakinfansince1983

    anakinfansince1983 Nightsister of Four Realms star 9 Staff Member Manager

    Registered:
    Mar 4, 2011
    I don't tend to trust people who "white lie" either and I think people make too big a deal out of sex, so there's that.
     
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  12. mavjade

    mavjade It's so FLUFFY! Fanfic Manager star 6 Staff Member Manager

    Registered:
    Sep 10, 2005
    I too think it's a trust issue. My brother and his wife are polyamorous, they both have relationships outside of their marriage and those people have relationships outside of the ones with my brother and SIL. There are rules and no one lies and it works for them. It's not just about sex, it is about emotions and relationships.
    I think if one of them just wanted sex with someone else and not a relationship, if it were discussed, that would be fine. If someone were to go behind someone's back, it would be a very bad thing and that trust would no longer be there which would break the whole thing down.
     
    Juliet316 likes this.
  13. honeybadger

    honeybadger Jedi Knight star 1

    Registered:
    Nov 4, 2012
    I've got no moral qualms with consensual polyamory but I really don't think humans are built for it.
     
    Juliet316 likes this.