Checkers and Aster (JA humor)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction Stories--Classic JC Board (Reply-Only)' started by Anika Skywalker, Aug 27, 2000.

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  1. Anika Skywalker Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 15, 2000
    star 4
    This is my first fanfic. Hope you enjoy it.

    ---

    Checkers and Aster
    or
    Problems with Pets

    JA Humor

    Characters

    Obi-Wan Kenobi - 15-year-old Jedi Padawan
    Qui-Gon Jinn - Obi-Wan's Master
    Kesa Starke - 18-year-old Jedi Padawan girl, owner of Patches and Sketchers
    Jenéa Tykan (Jennie) - Another 18-year-old Padawan, Kesa's best friend
    Patches - Mother cat (Tortoiseshell)
    Sketchers - Father cat (Orange tabby)
    Checkers - Kitten that Qui-Gon adopts (Gray tabby)
    Aster - Another kitten Qui-Gon adopts (Tortoiseshell)
    Adalé Sisli - Kesa's Master


    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Part One

    "NOOOOOO!!!"
    Qui-Gon Jinn looked up from his datacard when he heard the blood-curdling scream from his Padawan. He leaped up from his chair and raced into Obi-Wan Kenobi's bedchambers.
    "Obi-Wan! What is it?" he asked. Obi-Wan was in his closet, bending over something.
    "My robe..." Obi-Wan said, holding a torn, brown robe in his hands.
    Qui-Gon sighed. "Padawan, you have about twenty other robes. It won't kill you to loose just one."
    "But, Master... it was my favorite!"
    "Umm... Obi-Wan... they all look the same," Qui-Gon said, scratching his head.
    There was a long pause as the fifteen-year-old stared at his shredded robe. "What could have done this?"
    "Rats, perhaps," Qui-Gon mused. "I think they live in the back of the closet."
    Obi-Wan took his lightsaber hilt in his hand. "I will KILL them," he said bravely, advancing into the back of the closet.
    "Now, don't do anything rash, Padawan," Qui-Gon warned.
    "Don't worry about me, Master," Obi-Wan said confidently.
    He reached out to part the robes, when suddenly there was a head-splitting scream, and a flash of orange, black, and brown flew towards Obi-Wan's head. He shouted out in terror, falling backwards onto his bed.
    Qui-Gon calmly walked over to where Obi-Wan was wrestling with the furious creature. Suddenly the creature stopped it's attack on Obi-Wan and jumped humbly into Qui-Gon's arms.
    Obi-Wan, who had cuts all over his face, stood up and looked at the creature in awe. "A cat!" he exclaimed.
    "Well, duh," Qui-Gon said, stroking the cat's fur. "What did you think it was?" The cat purred.
    "Where did it come from?" Obi-Wan asked.
    "I believe it is one of Kesa's cats. I think her name is Patches."
    "Kesa's cat? What is it doing here?"
    "I don't know..." The cat suddenly jumped out of Qui-Gon's arms and ran back into the closet.
    "You stay out of there, you hairball!" Obi-Wan yelled after it.
    Qui-Gon frowned at Obi-Wan and then got onto his hands and knees and followed the cat into the closet.
    "What on Coruscant are you doing?" Obi-Wan whined.
    "Ah ha!" Qui-Gon said triumphantly from inside the closet. "I think I found out why she was in here."
    Curious, Obi-Wan crawled into the closet with him. He saw some of his clothes, all in a pile. On top sat Patches, and next to her lay ten small kittens, maybe only a few weeks old.
    "Oh no..." Obi-Wan groaned.
    ----------
    "Master! Why can't you carry this!" Obi-Wan whined. He was carrying a large box, which contained the ten, small kittens. He followed Qui-Gon down the hall of the appartments.
    "Stop whining, Obi-Wan. It's good excersize for you." Qui-Gon held Patches so she wouldn't attack Obi-Wan. Patches purred contently.
    Qui-Gon stopped at Kesa Starke's door and knocked. A eighteen-year-old girl with light brown hair and blue eyes answered the door.
    "Master Jinn! Fancy seeing you here!" she said, smiling. "And hello, Obi-Wan."
    Obi-Wan smiled back. He thought Kesa was pretty, but then again, he thought every girl in the Jedi appartments was pretty. And Kesa wasn't "weird" because she was a cat person. She was very sharp and strong. She beat Obi-Wan in almost every Padawan-against-Padawan lightsaber battle.
    "Is your Master here?" Qui-Gon asked.
    "Adalé? No, she's running errands. I'm staying here to try to find..." She saw Patches in Qui-Gon's arms. "Patches!" she cried, pulling the cat out of Qui-Gon's grip. "Oh, thank you, Master Jinn!" She scratched Patches under the chin. "I missed
  2. Anika Skywalker Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 15, 2000
    star 4
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Part Two

    "Master, the kittens are fine. We don't need to check on them. Kesa can do that," Obi-Wan said, following Qui-Gon down the hallway. It had been three weeks since they had first brought the kittens to Kesa.
    "I'm just going to see how she's doing with them. Like if she gave any of them away yet," Qui-Gon answered.
    Obi-Wan rolled his eyes. Cats were just pathetic lifeforms to him.
    Qui-Gon knocked the door of Kesa's appartment. Instead of Kesa answering it, a tall woman with graying blond hair and blue eyes answered it. "Good afternoon, Master Qui-Gon," she said, bowing.
    "Good afternoon to you, Adalé," Qui-Gon said. "I can see you have returned from your errands."
    "Yes," she said. She turned to Obi-Wan. "Hello, Padawan Kenobi. Last time I saw you, you were only twelve years old. Come in, come in!"
    Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan went into the very neat and organized appartment. They followed Master Adalé into the kitchen where Kesa and the cats were. There were only four kittens left.
    "Hi, guys! Six of the kittens have been adopted. Adi and I want to keep this gray one. We just have to wait for somebody else to adopt the..."
    She was interupted by the sound of the door being flung opened. Another girl Padawan, Kesa's age, raced into the kitchen. She had long, red hair that was braided into one braid and hung over her left shoulder, her Padawan braid over the other. She had bright, green eyes, and her cloak was a beautiful shade of dark green that matched her eyes. She was the most beautiful girl Obi-Wan had ever seen. All he could do was stare. And drool.
    "Kesa!!" the girl shouted. "I heard you had kittens!"
    "No, Jenéa, I didn't have kittens, but Patches did."
    "Jenéa" squealed with joy and excitement. The two girls suddenly started talking non-stop, their words hardly recognizable. Originally Obi-Wan would have thought, "Girls. Go figure," but he was too far into dreamland to notice. Qui-Gon looked at him and hopelessly shook his head.
    Jenéa stopped her rapid talking and stared back at Obi-Wan. "What's wrong with him? Is he sick?" she asked Qui-Gon.
    Qui-Gon kicked Obi-Wan aggressively in the ankle, snapping him back to reality. He looked around and blushed. Jenéa smiled at him and then went back to her rapid conversation with Kesa. Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan heard their names mentioned several times in the discussion. Obi-Wan wondered how his Master could be so patient. He was beginning to fall asleep himself...
    "So, Jennie, which kitten do you want?" Kesa asked. "You can't have the gray one because Adalé and I want to keep it."
    Jenéa looked over the other kittens until she picked out an orange tabby kitten. "I like this one," she said.
    "His name is Skippy," Kesa said.
    "Great! I'll see you later, Kese," Jenéa said, walking towards the door.
    "See ya, Jennie!"
    Jenéa left the appartment.
    Kesa bent down and held the last two kittens, one in each hand. "Checkers and Aster are the only two left. I wonder who will adopt them..."
    Obi-Wan looked at his Master. He knew what he was thinking.
    "We'll take them!" Qui-Gon announced.
    //Master?!//
    //Not now, Obi-Wan.//
    "Really?" Kesa asked.
    "Of course," Qui-Gon answered.
    //But, Master...!// Obi-Wan's face was covered with expressions. Kesa shot him a weird look.
    //Don't 'But Master' me. Be quiet.//
    "Great! This one is a Tortoiseshell female named Aster, and this is a gray tabby named Checkers," Kesa explained, handing the two kittens to Qui-Gon.
    "Thank you, Padawan Starke."
    //NOOOOOO!!!//

    ~

    What do you think? Should I continue? :)

    ~Anika Skywalker
  3. Eryce Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Feb 29, 2000
    star 2
    I think I'd be running screaming down the corridor if I were Obi... LOL!
  4. Neon Star Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 30, 2000
    star 5
    LOL Loved it! Can't wait for your next post!
    Poor Obi!;)
  5. Jade's Fire2003 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 12, 1999
    star 4
    More pathetic life forms for Obi!

    More, more!
  6. Bastet Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 30, 1999
    star 4
    Hey, I just found this on page 4, and I liked it alot! Hee hee, I can't wait to see what those kittens do to Obi! :)
    More please!
  7. padmemicheline Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 28, 2000
    star 3
    That is kind of a funny thread. Have to feel
    sorry for Obi-Wan. I sure wouldn't like it if a
    cat ripped my clothes to shreds. Keep posting! You're doing great!
  8. Anika Skywalker Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 15, 2000
    star 4
    I will post as soon as my homework gets done. :)

    ~Anika Skywalker
  9. Jedi_KnightMariah Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 6, 2000
    star 4
    Just found this, Anika! I didn't think you wrote anything! LOL!
    "//NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!//"
    Long homework, eh?
  10. Anika Skywalker Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 15, 2000
    star 4
    Actually, I forgot all about this when school started. Maybe I'll write some between homework time and... homework time. :p

    ~Anika Skywalker
  11. Jedi_KnightMariah Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 6, 2000
    star 4
    Ooooooh! Jesse's gonna be mad if he meets Obi! *snickers at the thought*
  12. Jedi_KnightMariah Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 6, 2000
    star 4
    I've given up all hope, Anika. ;) You must work your butt off at that school of yours....
  13. Anika Skywalker Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 15, 2000
    star 4
    Actually, I can't get on the computer very often on weekdays (if at all), and my brothers and sisters like to get on, too, and they play games forever. The school doesn't give us much homework at all.

    I just need some time to get organized...

    ~Ånika §kywalker
  14. Anika Skywalker Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 15, 2000
    star 4
    This one's for you, Mariah!

    ----------
    Part Three

    Obi-Wan sat in the easy-chair holding a datacard. For a few minutes he watched the two kittens play with a ball of string at his feet. Irritated, he stopped his foot on the ground once, and the two kittens streaked away like bolts of Force-lightning.

    "Ha!" he said. He went back to his datacard. He had to study for Grammar. He didn't know why he needed to. What did he need Grammar for, anyway? It wasn't like he was going to write a book or anything.

    He looked around the room. Qui-Gon was running an errand. Obi-Wan put the datacard down and relaxed in the easy-chair. He closed his eyes. There was darkness for a little while. Then he began to dream...

    He was in a jungle. It was dark. He was alone. Creatures were making sounds in the night. He wasn't afraid. He looked down at his hands. He was holding a blaster rifle. He was a hunter. A Rancor hunter. He was brave. He held the blaster out in front of him. There was some rustling in the nearby bushes. A Rancor. A small one. He approached the bushes. The Rancor suddenly leaped out. Rancor Hunter Obi-Wan couldn't move. The Rancor tackled him and locked its jaw on his braid...

    Qui-Gon had just gotten back from his errand. The first thing he heard was the yelling of his Padawan.

    "MASTER!! MASTER!! HELP!! IT GOTS ME!! HELP!! MASTER!!"

    Qui-Gon rushed into the living room and almost laughed at what he saw. Obi-Wan was asleep with a kitten hanging onto his Padawan braid. The kitten was as terrified as Obi-Wan was. It couldn't get its claws free.

    Obi-Wan suddenly awoke and looked down at his attacker who sat on the armrest. "You!" he shouted at the kitten. The kitten let out a pitiful "mew" and struggled to get her claws free.

    Qui-Gon bent down and freed Aster. She curled up in Qui-Gon's cloak. "Honestly, Obi-Wan, you're over-reacting when it comes to these kittens," Qui-Gon said. "You just have to get used to them, that's all."

    "When banthas fly," Obi-Wan mumbled. "I'm going to get something to eat."

    Obi-Wan walked into the kitchen and got out some food. Sadly, Qui-Gon hadn't done any grocery shopping lately and all they had to eat was the fish they had caught in a lake on Alderaan. Oh, well, Obi-Wan thought. A fish sandwich would be nice. He sat the stuff out on the table and made one sandwich. He went back to the refrigerator to get some juice. But when he came back, the sandwich was gone.

    "Qui-Gon?! Can't you make your own food instead of living off what others do?!" Obi-Wan yelled.

    "What?" Qui-Gon yelled back.

    Naw, Obi-Wan thought. He couldn't get in here and out that quickly and quietly. But it couldn't have just gotten up and walked away. Maybe I didn't cook the fish very well.

    He looked under and around everything on the table. It wasn't there. He then decided to look UNDER the table. Then he saw it. The two kittens were bent over the sandwich, which was torn into a million pieces, eating it ravenously. They licked their lips as they stared at Obi-Wan.

    "Why you little-!" He carened forward to get under the table and get them, but his head collided with the edge of the table. He was out cold. Qui-Gon came into the kitchen. He saw Obi-Wan and shook his head hopelessly.
    ----------

    ~Ånika §kywalker
  15. Jedi_KnightMariah Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 6, 2000
    star 4
    LOL! Aster on his braid! Oh, man! That would hurt soooooooooo bad!!!
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