Child of the Dark Side

A long time eggo...

 

This is just toooo funny! Our first inductee into the new Humor Archive!

 

Queen Amidala: "I'm going back for more stew."

 

Yoda: "There is no medium, only small and large"

Yoda: "Ahhh, it is a combo you seek, hmmmm?"

 

With homage to Otoh Gunga ...
Han Solo: "Smokey dead pigeons and ancient bonbons are no match for a good blaster in your pie, kid."

Ben: That's no prune! It's a spiced raison!

Yoda: Dough, or doughnut. There is no pie.

Lando: Pecaaa... Pecaaa...
Leia: I think he's saying Pecan!

Luke: Will they diet?
Yoda: Cannot weigh...

Luke: But they'll grill herb!
Han: Better herb than meat!

Han: Where'd you dig up that cold wassail?

Squadron Leader: You've got won-ton in a pail!

Luke: But I was going to Toshi Station to pick up some dour goatherders!
Owen: You can waste time with your friends when your s'mores are done.

 

Jabba, this is your last chance: Cookies or Pie? HAHAHA LOL redface.gif redface.gif redface.gif

 

Where did ya dig up that old waffle?
Ben has a great pan!

 

Never seen this one before. But it is just hilarious.

 

Leia: Governor Tarkin! I should've known it was you holding Vader's quiche!


[This message has been edited by callista35 (edited 12-19-1999).]

 

Obi-Wan: What was it?
Qui-Gon: I don't know. But it was well-trained and had Pop Tarts!

Obi-Wan: Don't deep-fry the casserole mastah. Not again.

Obi-Wan: It's not just the vegetables mastah. It's the fruit.

Sidious: Wipe their mouths. All of them.

 

Han: You wanted to be around when I made a mistake. Well this could be it, sweetheart.
Leia: I'll bake a snack!

Queen: This time the Federation has a fondue bar!

Qui-Gon: I can only protect you. I can't bite a s'more for you.

 

Han: I take orders from just one person. Me!
Leia: I'll have a wiener with dill and chive.

 

This is my second fanfic, and it's a sequel to my story "Masquerade." Hope you enjoy it.

The blue lightsaber blade hissed through the air and connected solidly with the training remote, knocking it to the floor. Callista smiled in triumph as she picked it up and reactivated it. That made twelve consecutive battles she'd won against her imaginary opponent and not a scratch on her, though the remote was starting to look a worse for the wear. Perhaps, Callista thought, she should hold back a little; remotes were hard to come by this far on the Outer Rim. But it was so hard not to put the full fury of her emotions into her training. Whenever Callista looked at the remote she saw not a fist-sized metal sphere but the woman who had destroyed her life. Mara Jade, who had taken Luke away from her. Callista took another swipe, picturing her nemesis in front of her. She'd only fought Mara once, but she reviewed the memory of that battle daily. She'd studied every holonet image of the woman, watching the patterns of her movements and programmed them into the remote. Someday she would face Mara Jade again, and she'd be ready. It was a confrontation Callista had every intention of winning.

There was a faint rustle behind her and with all of her attention focused on the remote, it took Callista a few moments to realize what the sound meant. She was being watched. She reached for the controller at her waist and shut down the training remote. It clattered to the floor again, and Callista disengaged her lightsaber. "You are supposed to be in bed, Lucya Skywalker," she told her daughter without turning around.

"Can't sleep," came the plaintive response. "Tell me a story."

Callista smiled fondly at the little girl. "A story," she said and scooped Lucya up into her arms. She settled into one of the hoverlift chairs that she'd pushed against the walls while practicing and Lucya snuggled down in her mother's lap. "Which one do you want tonight?"

Lucya looked up at her with the righteous exasperation only a toddler seemed to be able to pull off. "You know," she said, planting pudgy fists against her hips.

"Yes," Callista answered. "I know." She told Lucya a lot of stories, stories about the heroism of the Jedi, both the ones she'd known in her first life and those who were active now. But most of all, she made sure that Lucya heard all the tales of the great deeds of her father, Luke Skywalker. And of those, there was only one that Lucya asked for again and again. Which was exactly the way Callista had planned it. "Once upon a time," she began, "there was a brave Jedi Knight, named...."

"Callissa," Lucya lisped. She knew the story by heart and knew all the correct responses. "Tha's you."

"That's me," Callista agreed. "In these days a horrible, evil man called the Emperor had take over the Republic, and he built a terrible ship that took beings away from their homes and families and made them slaves to his wicked plans. Now, the Jedi Council decided that this ship had to be stopped so they sent brave Callista against it. She fought against it every way that she could, but the Emperor had made his ship too powerful for one Jedi to defeat, and Callista was trapped inside. Though she wasn't able to destroy the ship, she shut down the weapons so that the Emperor could use the it for evil. And she waited patiently for someone to come and help her escape.

"Callista waited for years and years, but help did come, another brave Jedi Knight, a man named Luke Skywalker...."

"My daddy!" Lucya squirmed excitedly on Callista's lap. Callista hid another smile and laid a hand on her daughter's shoulder, a reminder that this was supposed to be a bed-time story . Meekly, she settled down again. Callista continued, "Luke fell in love with the beautiful Jedi right away, and likewise Callista knew she wanted to be with him forever. They promised each other that once they finally destroyed the ship, they would begin a new life together. So the two Jedi worked side by side and carried out their plan to put an

 

I'm so glad you started it, Raissa!! I read 'Masquerade' and loved it!! This story is great! Keep it coming, ok?

 

This is really good! I'm looking forward to more!

Kithera

 

Great start, Raissa!

 

YAY!!!

I'm so glad you finally started this, Raissa! I 've been looking forward to it ever since you finished Masquerade. I hope you post a lot more often than most of the authors around here; I love your writing!

[aside]Hey Jeff, you're supposed to be writing Sands of Time. Shoo![/aside]

Can't wait to see more of this story! It sounds excellent!

 

Awesome

 

Wow! Cool! Awesome!!!!
Where is Masquerade? I want to read it.
KEEP UP THE WRITING!!!

Padawan Kenobi

submit

 

Forum9/HTML/001356.htmlMasquerade

 

Darn, I go out for an afternoon and you have to post it then Oh well, glad to see you back! And my, my, what a wonderful welcome back present to US!

You set up a lot of interesting story lines. As introductions go, this is one of the best I have read.

Well, so I wasn't the first one to write oh well. Now I have something to read again!

Jaded Skywalker

 

MORE! MORE! MORE! MORE!

Excellent start, Raissa! Eagerly awaiting future posts...

--Mara Jade

 

I have to echo the MORE! MORE! MORE!

And I love the name of Calista's hiding place...it sounds like it's out of a Welsh legend!

 

"Luke? Luke, are you all right?" Leia's voice cut into his vison, bringing Luke back to Coruscant with a start. He blinked twice before the apartment seemed real around him. "What?" he asked, setting down the mug of of hot chocolate that was frozen halfway to his lips. Luke could still see the face from his vision, a golden haired toddler who wore his own features. He had no doubt she'd seen him as plainly as he'd seen her. And perhaps most astonishingly, it had been the little girl who initiated the contact. Luke paused for a minute, trying to fix everything he had just seen firmly in his mind. It was too important to forget even the tiniest detail. "Oh, yes, I'm fine. It's just..... Leia, I saw her."

His sister frowned slightly and put her mug down on the low mah'og wood table next to his. She regarded him carefully, reading both his features and his emotional state. "What do you mean you ?saw her'? Saw who?"

"My daughter," Luke replied, and he could hear traces of the amazement he was feeling in his voice. This was only the second time he'd felt her presence; the first time she had still been in the womb. Shortly thereafter Callista had left Coruscant, to let Luke think things over, she said. That had been over two years ago, and though Luke and Mara had been carrying out a private search for both mother and child, they still hadn't found any trace of them. But now, it seemed his daughter had taken matters into her own tiny hands. She had reached for him, a tenuous connection that lasted only long enough for him to see her looking inquisitively at him across the depths of space and hear exactly one word in her child's mind-voice: "Daddy."

Leia's eyes widened and she inhaled sharply. Luke could feel that her mind was suddenly full of questions. She asked the most important. "Where is she? Could you tell?" Leia was one of only a handful of people who knew that Luke had a child with Callista, and she and Talon Karrde had scoured both the official and not-so-official databanks looking for any bit of information that might lead Luke to his child.

"Yes. No," Luke said shaking his head. "I don't know. It hapened so fast, all I could really tell was that she's very far away. One second she was there, the next she was gone. And it felt like there was something around her, some shield that she had to force her way through to see me." He sighed in frustration. Words were seldom enough to describe what was felt in the Force.

"Callista's doing, I'd bet," Leia replied. She pursed her lips, the same expression she usually wore when venting to Luke about the latest gridlock in the Senate. "I don't understand it. If she wants to be with you as a family, why has Callista been hiding from you for so long? Why shield yourself if you want to be found?"

"I wish I knew," Luke said. "I have yet to find a rational explanation for anything she's done since she fell to the Dark Side. But maybe now I'll be able to find my daughter; maybe I can trace this connection back to her...." He lapsed into thoughtful silence, absently picking up his mug. He took a meditative sip, considering the best way to proceed. Even though he had more to work from now, he would still have to navigate around whatever shields Callista had put up around herself and the child. He would have to confer with Mara later; they were always stronger when they worked together.

Leia shifted slightly next to him, and the motion brought Luke back to the present. He gave her an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry. This wasn't what you came here to discuss. What were we talking about before we were interrupted?"

"The diplomatic tour to the Outer Rim," Leia said with a grimace at the irony of it all. They'd arranged the tour as another way for Luke and Mara to conduct their search. No one except that trusted handful realized that the reason Luke was still constantly running off to stomp out political brushfires, conduct diplomatic negotiations for the Republic and search for new Jedi candidates was that it gave him a chance

 

Love the addition! You foreshadowing is the best! Please post more....

Jaded Skywalker