Beyond Children of Mandalore: Prelude to Terror. (Repost, edited, OCs, NJO, Mandos, Yuuzhan Vong) COMPLETED

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Mando-Man, Aug 9, 2014.

Moderators: Briannakin, mavjade
  1. SWpants Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 28, 2004
    star 4
    Chapter Eight

    "He is mine." Sehn Draisa barked at the warriors behind him. "You redeem yourself by confronting your fate Infidel. You have chosen to die with honor."

    It’s what Mandos do :)


    "You know I thought a warrior like you, obviously one of higher stature, would enjoy a good old fashioned fist fight." Ryia said.

    Well, uh…that is unexpected.


    "You will." Ivat said uninterested in formal ceremony. He cared little about ceremony anymore, his life was already forfeit. He just cared about redeeming himself before his death. "First I must challenge an Infidel of my own and then you can slaughter the rest."

    *scoffs* No, he won’t redeem himself.


    He was never one to let an opportunity slip by unnoticed so he depressed the ignition button on the yorik-coral detonator and discreetly rolled it across the floor

    *waggles eyes* Go Ryia!


    Draisa was knocked back by a rapid sequence of impacts against his chest plate and slowly a burning fire worked it's way through his torso.

    ‘its’ and drat. I was hoping Ivat would die first.


    She visualized the flesh reattaching itself in her minds eye and exerted her will through the Force to manipulate his cells.

    Niiice. I love the Force :D


    As the two Mandalorians closed in around her Raven meshed her hands together, one on top of the other, and pressed down harder into the jagged gash in Rixa's back. He let out a wet gurgling sound of distress as the pain hit him. His blood oozed out over her fingers in warm thin strands that she added to the increasing list of things she was trying to ignore.

    GAAAAHHHHHHHH


    Tyran and Kial were only a few years older than she was and it amazed her at how much older and wearier they all felt compared to her.

    I don’t know if that’s because of the Vong war or because they’re Mandos. Maybe a mixture of both? It’s the hard life of being a merc


    She drew upon his confidence, a shining light at the center of a dark mix of rage and violent intent that she now saw as her only means of salvation. She could feel the effects of her healing technique becoming stronger as she bolstered her confidence in her abilities with his own

    :) I am so glad that it’s positively affecting her as well. Oh that is wonderful to read!


    “I thought we were supposed to be kicking his shebs." Kial groaned.

    Meh. The Vong learn. I don’t want Kial to die. I like him more than Ivat.


    The spike found it's way through a weak point in Kial's beskar armor, entering just under his right armpit.


    NOOOOOOOOO


    Through it spilled three other Mandalorians: one wearing dented and battered gold armor, a second wearing a set of royal blue armor and the third was much smaller than the other two and wearing a set of purple on black armor.


    YAAAAHOOOOOOOOO


    She reached out in the Force and the onyx cylinder came flying out of the rubble and into the palm of her hand. With the much welcomed snap-hiss the purple blade of energy sprang into life and she brought the blade down into the path of Kurru Ivat with strength that stemmed from all her anger and hatred of the alien being. In one swipe she removed both his one good arm and his head from his body.

    That was calculated, and not in a state of emotion. She. Didn’t. Break.

    I am glad Kial’s alive.


    "We can't spare anyone else to carry him." Tyran said grimly. "Give him the explosives."

    Leaders have to make very difficult choices. So do soldiers.


    The Yuuzhan Vong warriors began kicking him, laughing hard with each blow. Beluin couldn't help but smile. The Yuuzhan Vong could laugh all they wanted. He pushed the button.

    With a flash of brilliant light and rolling flame, Beluin Uluar got the true last laugh.


    True facts :D
    But :(


    Raven had never run so hard or so fast in her life.

    Even with her malnourishment and injuries, I believe it.


    "Don't look back Jedi, there is nothing back there that's worth it."

    And it causes accidents.


    "Have some faith." Tyran yelled back. "We didn't come this far just to die in a hole in a swamp."

    I can’t imagine the sorrow that people have when that’s exactly what happens.


    "Cannon is good to go, medical bay is prepped and ready to receive injured. Lets get this over with and get back to Gyndine with the rest of the taskforce."

    That sounds like an excellent plan.


    Rev's HUD display appeared in an empty monitor next to the tactical display.

    At first I thought it was redundant to say HUD display. But since you’re talking about it being displayed, then I guess the heads-up display display is being displayed (talk about a tongue twister). It’s like saying the The Who album or something.


    "Fierfek."

    I forgot that curse :D


    "No!" Rev yelled. "Those aren't Yuuzhan Vong, those are Alliance Star Destroyers."

    SWEET!!! Excellent :D


    "Since when does the Empire help out the Jedi?" Yunauli asked.

    "Since when do the Mandalorians rescue the Jedi."


    *snerk* Great response



    A razorbug came flying in and impacted her just under the chin and stuck there. The small medic was knocked backwards by the impact.

    :eek: no!
    :( I knew she’d die but it’s so sad to see. I was hoping to be wrong.


    "Raven, find her medkit and get a bacta bandage around Dyir's wound. You're in charge of the wounded now."

    Is that because she’s Jedi and has some abilities (not just Force, but medical) or because there’s really no one else who can? Or both?


    He was suddenly more tired than ever and just wanted to drop to his knees in submission. The urge was the opposite of everything he'd ever been trained to do and broke every rule and code he believed in. Now he realized that sometimes there was just no helping it.

    Things in life just…end up catching up to you



    Yay. Safe at last. For some of them.
    AzureAngel2 likes this.
  2. SWpants Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 28, 2004
    star 4
    Epilogue

    He was starting to feel the effects of the last few days of Yuuzhan Vong hospitality.

    Just starting to? Yeesh the adrenaline must have been on super high injection.


    They all deserved the rest.

    I’m surprised they’re not all passed the osik out.


    "She didn't deserve this Tyran." Raven said without turning around. "Rixa didn't deserve to be tortured, Dyir didn't have to lose an eye and Kial didn't have to lose an arm. I don't deserve the sacrifices you and your friends made for me. I gave the Yuuzhan Vong the information they wanted

    You DID deserve it and you were being TORTURED. No, they didn’t “deserve” to die, but they knew the risks and they went out doing their job.


    A little bit of training and you'll be besk'atin'la."

    :D True facts. Hahaha oh man, that would be a great continuation of this. Raven being under the brothers’ wings while still training under Luke.


    It took him fifteen minutes and half a container of salve to cover all of the wounds.

    :(
    Also, he’s lucky his wife wasn’t around :p Though I’m sure she would have taken the med job at that point.


    She was sure that whatever intelligence she had discovered about the Yuuzhan Vong fleet had well been changed since the arrival of the Galactic Alliance battlegroup

    Unfortunately, that is quite likely


    Raven thought about the promise she had made to Tyran. She felt a sudden surge of responsibility wash over her. She'd wear that armor with pride and honor and somehow make herself worthy of Dawk's sacrifice.

    Great, but bittersweet ending.

    AzureAngel2 likes this.
  3. Mando-Man Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 1, 2008
    star 2
    There is a direct sequel in the works for this story but it has a lot of moving parts. It has Mandos, Vong, the Imperial Remnant and the Galactic Alliance so I still have to come up with a way to get it all to work cohesively.

    The redundant HUD thing was something I got caught up on as well. But since the heads up display is being displayed on another display (tongue twister indeed) I thought it was ok.

    I'm not really sure what I might do with Raven, she won't be in RF I can say for certain. Maybe post RF she'll make another appearance.
    Last edited by Mando-Man, Aug 20, 2014
    AzureAngel2 likes this.
  4. SWpants Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 28, 2004
    star 4
    That's how I felt about the HUD Display. :)
    That's okay about Raven not being in RF. She was probably rebuilding her Jediness as well
    AzureAngel2 likes this.
  5. Mando-Man Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 1, 2008
    star 2
    Yeah I guess we'll see.
    AzureAngel2 likes this.
  6. Chyntuck Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 11, 2014
    star 2
    Wow! Did you seriously tell me that this story was a half-hour read? It took the best part of my evening to binge-read it. Here's one clue as to how gripping I found it: I skipped dinner, and I'm the most voracious foodie on these boards! :p

    Another clue as to how much I liked this story: I got fed up pretty fast with the Vong story arc in profic. But here... your characters are so captivating that I just couldn't stop. And one more thing: you're one of very few writers (VERY few) who came up with hand-to-hand combat scenes that I could not only follow but actually enjoy.

    On to Red Fang now -- well, not now-now, but starting tomorrow. Thanks for this. It was a great read :)

    EDIT: Haha! Were you reading my fic while I was reading yours? Great minds etc etc :D
  7. Mando-Man Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 1, 2008
    star 2
    :D well maybe not exactly an half hour read but it'll definitely take you quite longer to get caught up in Red-Fang. If you find yourself binge reading again you should probably kiss the day goodbye :p

    Great minds indeed! I finished most of your fic yesterday and finished it today. I'm excited to know that Tyran and Rixa get to compete with Aeyesha in the OCR thread.
    Chyntuck likes this.
Moderators: Briannakin, mavjade