"Children of the Revolution" Planning Thread - 9-16 Post Identification

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction and Writing Resource' started by Amidala_Skywalker, Sep 1, 2002.

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  1. obaona Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 18, 2002
    star 4
    I was reading your posts and getting confused. I guess I'll really have to check to see who's speaking with all those identical icons! ;) And as for the rest . . . no comment. [face_plain] [face_mischief]

    And I like your plan, Am. :D I'll be checking this thread all day tomorrow so I can get first pick. [face_mischief]
  2. J_K_DART Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2001
    star 5
    *HOPELESSLY confused in the mass of five speeches with identical sigs*

    HELP!

    Hmm, maybe we oughta say that icon's the 'CotR default'? ;)
  3. Chaos_Rose Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    May 12, 2002
    star 3
    < author comes running in, a rabbit-brandishing Darth Real Life hot on her heels >

    Dart, Obaona, those were great posts! Here's mine. I hope it measures up.

    Fire when ready!

    ~

    The human mastery of space was a recent thing ? less than seventy-five thousand years old. The ability of those who could only act in three dimensions to travel in the areas known as hyperspace was a testimony to their aptitude and resilience. The wars that had come in that time were also testimony ? of a violent and bloody heritage, but also of the will of some humans to escape and triumph over such.

    Alderaan, a small blue-green world, was one of the oldest known human-settled worlds. In the wars that had shaped the Republic, Alderaan had paid in blood for her membership in that fledgling entity. Founded by nature loving pacifists, her people went to war under only the trying of circumstances ? when only war and the sacrifice of their own blood in that war would preserve their way of life. Alderaani generals had the reputation for being keen strategists, principled and ethical even when their enemies were anything but.

    After each war, Alderaan's children came back to the world and the ideals that they had fought for and returned once more to the peace and calm beauty of their home.

    As a Jedi and as the scion of a noble house, Leia Organa had been taught to take the long view. She knew the history of the galaxy, and of the many races. She could see then endless cycles of creation, birth, growth, maturity, age, death, and decay as necessary things. As with the smallest dayflower, so went the mightiest of stars in lifecycles of hours or eons. Her training as a Jedi had taught her that there was no ending in death, only a return to the Force and a new beginning.

    The change of tone in the drives and a slight disorientation heralded the Kestrel's return to realspace. Leia looked up from the tactical display where she had been watching the battle repeatedly. New intelligence had been gleaned, the new interdiction technology was worrisome, but so many lives had been lost.

    It seemed that the Coruscanti were always a step ahead of Confederation intelligence, waiting to meet them with deadly force. A host of possible reasons existed, some that she could consider head on, and others that made her turn away in denial.

    "My Lady, we are on approach," the captain murmured. "Landfall in ten minutes."

    Leia nodded her thanks and turned off the tactical display, pocketing the hologlobe for later use. "Thank you, Captain."

    Pushing her looped braids of dark brown hair over her shoulder, the young woman stood and stretched. Tense hours hunched over the display had kinked her back and neck, as well as creasing her uniform. The dark brown Jedi robe lay wilted over the back of the chair she had been using and the line of cups on the console attested to the weary hours of debriefing that had kept her there.

    Glancing out of the transparisteel ports of the bridge, she watched her homeworld grow larger. From a blue speck, Alderaan grew to a beautiful blue and green globe, dappled and swirled with clouds. Maneuvering to land in the Aldera spaceport, they orbited to a point that allowed Leia to view her home in daylight and darkness. The few bright spots of urban centers glowed brilliantly in the dark, while the green plains and shallow, gentle seas colored the daylight side.

    The repulsor drives cut in as the ship encountered the gravity fields generated by Alderaan's mass and the Kestrel entered the outer atmosphere with a minimum of jostling. Featureless green resolved itself into rolling plains of grasslands and hills. Nerfs looked skyward with sleepy wonderment before turning back to their grazing.

    It was peaceful, simple, and beautiful, so unlike the turmoil, bloodshed, and disorder that had engulfed the galaxy. Whole worlds had been wiped out at the whim of a twisted madman, entire peoples evicted from their homes to wander as refugees so that their lands could be handed over to favored cronies. Yet here, it so
  4. obaona Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 18, 2002
    star 4
    I love it! :D I like Mara, and how you do her, as well as her past. :) Leia is still Leia but also very Jedi Knightish. I loved her speech. I also enjoyed how you brought my post in - very cool. :)

    Why do I feel like my post is horribly short and undetailed? :confused:

    Anyway, good job! :D
  5. Amidala_Skywalker Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 4, 2001
    star 5
    *eyes glisten*

    Chaos, that was wonderful! My post seems so insignificant compared to that piece. I loved how you handled the characters, and will be referring back to this when I write them in the future. Lovely description - truly eye-catching.

    I agree with Oba.

    Am [face_love]
  6. Chaos_Rose Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    May 12, 2002
    star 3
    Obaona and Amidala:

    [face_blush]
    [face_blush]
    [face_blush]
    [face_blush]

    Thank you!

  7. J_K_DART Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2001
    star 5
    Good writing indeed! Mara is well-done, not the traditional Mara but rather more well-developed! Good work!
  8. Chaos_Rose Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    May 12, 2002
    star 3
    Thanks, Dart! :)

    Hey, boss lady! How about the next post picks?

    < camps on the thread with Beenie Weenies and S'mores >

  9. obaona Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 18, 2002
    star 4
    *camps out with Chaos_Rose*
  10. Chaos_Rose Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    May 12, 2002
    star 3
    Did anyone bring Kool-Aid? Nothing goes with Beenie-Weenies like Kool-Aid.

    < passes Obaona the S'mores stuff >



  11. jade_angel Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 4, 2001
    star 4
    Oh you guys... I mean wow! Those posts were awesome, especially yours Chaos, I love how you wrote Mara!
  12. J_K_DART Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2001
    star 5
    The story so far;

    1.
    Clear stars and magnificently drawn constellations rippled, suppressed by the opening of a swirling greenish-blue vortex. It distorted space, and pulled like a vacuum down upon the surrounding sector, sucking nearby floating objects into its depths. Abandoned chunks of debris and tiny space particles answered its call, whirling into a spheric pattern, and launching into the whirlpool of light like a slingshot, disappearing in a bright spark of energy.

    The vortex only lasted for seconds in an unstable state, before strengthening its boundaries and expanding outwards to churn another area of lonely space. There was now a massive hole in the stars, where once there had been nothing, and judging by its actions, it was evident something was intending to journey through that wormhole. From where, it was unknown, as was whatever purpose this emergence served.

    Indeed, the prediction was correct, and from the central point of the wormhole, a ship flickered into existence ? a dull visage within a stunning picture. The vessel was a pure white, though the sides were blemished with the remnants of battle, and impacts against the hull had destroyed the smooth surface of the structure, instead burnt holes remained. A slightly pointy edge represented where the cockpit was situated, while the twin main engines at the rear, lay dead.

    It drifted inside the vortex, buoyant and spinning, showing no signs of life. It would seem power hadn?t emanated from the craft in so long, as if it had almost been forgotten by those who had built it, and transported from a great battle in need of survival. Finally, the wormhole threw the traveller into normal space, folding its four corners together, and closing the gap. It was diminishing, reintegrating back into the vast cortex of time, returning to what it once was before technology intervened. The disruption shrunk, making itself insignificant, showing no clues that it was ever there.

    The ship, however, stayed lifeless, adrift in space.

    --------------

    Starchart Date: 111.768.565.000
    Verification Code: Alpha-Alpha 459
    Doctor Nathieu Joar

    It appeared late yesterday evening in sector 045 ? a system with three planets, two of those gas, a neutral sun, and an old binary drilling operation. Our sensors were able to attain its position, and constrict entry to that region of space. We were not able to identify life signs, if any. It has been determined the wormhole was clearly a deformation in time, and whether this ship originated from the past or future, we cannot speculate. If it were used by either period, this would affect the timeline and create drastic consequences. Technology of this type has to be used with extreme caution, as demonstrated by our past mistakes and investigation into time travel.

    I have been ordered to board and search the ship with another colleague, and will be recording all that we discover. I have to confess I?m excited at the prospect of viewing a piece of equipment from another century, or meeting those who built it. We put our faith in their friendliness, and that they be willing to share information and knowledge. Do we dare classify them aliens, due to our differences? Although, there is the chance the travellers didn?t survive their great journey, like many before them. Attempts have been tried before and many have died for the science, but we continue to learn from those blunders.

    I hope we can access the databanks and recorded logs, but that too could have been destroyed. In any case, we have the first known shell of a structure not thought of by our manufactures. We could be passing over into a new level of thinking, with the help of neighbours and technology, which has never fully existed in our grasp. As a scientist, I see this prospect thrilling. As a humanitarian for the people, I see it changing our galaxy.

    One hundred and fifty years ago, we fought in civil wars for many years, bickering amongst ourselves. Our society has evolved past the need for violence, though some still harbour it within th
  13. J_K_DART Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2001
    star 5
    Oh, just to keep my reputation!
    [image=http://www.soest.hawaii.edu/MET/Faculty/businger/images/lecture/2Mt.%20St.%20Helens%20Eruption.jpg]

    Heheheheh!

    EDIT: Oh, and here's proof I'm obsessive LOL!
  14. Amidala_Skywalker Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 4, 2001
    star 5
    All right, all right - I surrender! *raises hands*





    Post Identification 9-16

    (Nearly all these posts are intended, and designed, to be longer than usual. They may include several scenes, and branch on to include more scenes, depending on the author.)

    - - - - - - -

    Ninth post ? During his journey to Alderaan, he encounters some shady characters on the barge/cruiser. This gives the feeling of time passing, so the reader doesn?t think the journey instant. The characters can be of the author?s own creation ? sly, smuggler-like, flirty, anything ? and they can make conversation with our farmboy. As he?s never travelled off Tatooine and extremely nervous at the prospect of traversing the galaxy, he naturally tries to discourage conversation. Suggestion: perhaps one of them could offer him a drink of some sort.

    He arrives on Alderaan, tired and exhausted from the voyage, eager to find the palace and see the Duchess. Given directions by a passer-by, he wanders to the front entrance, only to be denied access without an appointment or sufficient ID. Luke blurts out his whole story to one of the guards, mentioning his father at the precise second Mara walks past. Upon gathering an earful of the conversation, Mara intervenes, saying Luke is with her, and takes him to an audience with the Duchess.

    Mara apologises for disturbing the Duchess, but says a matter of importance has come up and needs Leia?s attention. Luke is brought in. Leia greets him, and encourages him to sit down. He explains his story ? who he is, who his family is, his father, his father leaving Tatooine to fight with the Confederation, and his deep worry that his father is dead. Leia confirms his suspicions, and feels the need to comfort the young man for his loss. She also reveals the true identity of Luke?s ?father?, and recommends that he visit a Ben Kenobi back on Tatooine. He can help Luke deal with all this news of the Jedi arts. But, for now, Leia invites him to stay within the Palace walls, until she can find a transport back to his homeworld. He accepts and is led by Mara to his room. They barely exchange words, and she leaves him once he?s at the entrance to his quarters. He halts for a moment before entering, glancing around, certain he heard a sound of some sort. Dismissing it, he enters his quarters. However, what he doesn?t know was that a spy for the Empire monitored him the whole way, including the conversation shared with the Duchess ? this links to the next post. (JA)

    Tenth post ? In this scene the spy reports to Vader, his master, shrouded by the darkness of the night. The spy keys in a secure transmission to the Lord Vader?s ship (should this be the Executor, following the movies?), and reports the latest information. He tells of the boy, the Jedi, and everything he heard from the conversation in the prior post. The spy sends the coordinates of the normal route from Alderaan to Tatooine, often used by the Duchess. Vader gives his gratitude on behalf of the Empire, and says he won?t forget the deep service the informant has done. Vader ends of the conversation.

    Scene ends and switches to Vader?s POV. He pieces together that it was the boy?s Jedi father who was killed in battle. This revelation astonishes him. Standing beside Vader, all the while off-screen, Solo awaits orders. Vader instructs his second-in-command to order their other operatives on Alderaan to kill the informant. This is due to the spy knowing too much, and could betray them or sell information at a high cost. Solo nods. The conversation ensues with the two debating the best course of action; the author could show how Han tries often to keep his tongue in check in front of his superior. Vader suggests that Solo capture Luke?s transport and bring the boy in. Solo questions this, and as to how a small taskforce could get through the Confederation?s front line. Vader mentions he has contacts that are willing to bend to the Empire?s ?will?. Solo accepts the orders, but not without arguing tha
  15. J_K_DART Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2001
    star 5
    16'll suit me as well as any - I like the idea of showing a lightsaber-construction-scene, in fact I'd enjoy doing that..? Unless anyone else bags it..?
  16. Chaos_Rose Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    May 12, 2002
    star 3
    Either post ten or sixteen, for me. I'm flexible. :)

    Edit: Oops! Make mine post ten, then.



  17. Lady_Tahiri Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 23, 2001
    star 4
    Haha, the end of ten sounds like fun. [face_devil] I'll take fifteen then. :)

    And by the way Chaos, I really loved your post. *applauds* :D
  18. obaona Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 18, 2002
    star 4
    I'll take fourteen, if that's okay. I seem to be writing so much Vader anyway . . . ;) Not sure how to protray Vader in this one, though. [face_plain]
  19. KnightWriter Administrator Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Nov 6, 2001
    star 8
  20. J_K_DART Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2001
    star 5
    *grumbles* Double-post!
  21. J_K_DART Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2001
    star 5
    *grins* This should be good, gang! Oh, ONE query btw; does Vader take Luke to a planet, and if so where..? I'd prefer the lightsaber-construction to go on, on a world - it's as much a mystical thing as a physical construction, and I'd imagine it'd be better to construct it where life is plentifull (and yeah, I'm SERIOUSLY looking forward to that bit - altho' don't expect it to be a two-second construction lol, I can use that scene to make it, methinx, one of my best yet! I'm full of ideas for that one! ;) ) - oh, and if it's on a planet, I forget who's writing the scene where Vader gives the bits, but traditionally you're not given the focusing crystal - you have to find that yourself, select one that suits you (or the writer lol!) - I do recommend strongly that this scene be on a planet, make one up if you like!
  22. obaona Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 18, 2002
    star 4
    I'm the one writing where Luke is given the bits. So you want Luke on a planet? I can do that (if Am thinks it will work). How about . . . the one where Vader got his armor? ;) It's probably volcanic . . . [face_mischief]
  23. Amidala_Skywalker Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 4, 2001
    star 5
    As I think I mentioned, Han takes Luke back to 'Imperial Centre', which is Coruscant. And surprise, that's a planet.

    Will that work out well for everyone?

    Am [face_love]
  24. J_K_DART Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2001
    star 5
    Ah, I didn't spot that! Merci Am m'dear! Hmmm, Coruscant's an odd place to build a lightsaber in... But I can work it... [face_a_million_miles_away] Hmm, yes - I can work it...

    For Coruscant HAS a place that'd be perfect for constructing a lightsaber... :D Two in fact... Or at least, since we're AU, it does... You'll see what I mean when it's written ;)
  25. jade_angel Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 4, 2001
    star 4
    Oh well I guess there's no need to hold this back any longer...


    _________


    The three greatest commanders of the Imperial Empire stood in silence as they watched the last of the Confederation?s vessels flee into hyperspace. The Confederate had retreated to some false haven where they wrapped themselves under the delusion that they would be safe.

    Beside them was the holographic display that covered the entire region of space they were in. Now it showed their most recent battle. Scattered on the hologram, lay imprinted blue and red triangles, although the fiercer colour was retreating, and blinking out hurriedly. Overpowered by the blue, the last red dot vanished in space, disintegrating into space debris. There was no doubt, looking at the hologram, that the Empire had gone into combat geared for a heavy melee only to come out with barely a scratch.

    Despite the lack of heavy loss, both of the men lower in rank and power felt their superior?s anger easily. Both retained their silence while waiting for a chance to leave and go over the battle records, to pick up where they had gone wrong. The annihilation of the Empire?s newest brainchild would set them back at least another three months - the pseudo-asteroid had been costly.

    The tallest of the three commanders, Darth Vader, showed no exasperation. His stance and body language were as hidden as his face. Despite the lack of visible emotion, Vader was ready to leave. No matter how small a battle, they always brought a thrill in him, an intangible lust for victory. These days it was rare for him to go out in a skirmish personally, but his presence in the combat zone guaranteed his troops a win. Glancing slowly to his side he noticed that his secondary was having a harder time reining in his emotions. It would take the young man at least another decade before he would be able to understand the subtleties of being a competent commander.

    He could, in a small way, sympathize with the younger man being in the presence of the ruler of the entire galaxy and his second in command was unnerving. But sympathy was for the weak and not for a battle hardened leader, and his second, Han Solo, still had much to learn.

    The room fell into a taut silence as the display disappeared, flickering from existence with a soft click and a dying whirr. The Emperor, who still stared out the view screen, seemed to scowl into oblivion. Only the repetitive rasp of Vader?s mechanical breathing broke the silence.

    The wave of anger passed over the two and as quickly as it?d come; the negative emotion passed and replaced with a feeling that barely passed for amusement. Vader knew that it was when the Emperor was amused that he was the most dangerous. Many men had died while the ruler of the galaxy had watched all the while laughing at their torment.

    Shifting his weight from one leg to another, Solo cleared his throat. He was no adept to the Force and Vader knew quite well that the Corellian couldn?t comprehend the existence of a mystical energy field controlling his actions but the rogue Imperial certainly could tell when danger was gone. Solo enjoyed testing the boundaries and that was how he fell into the Emperor?s favour, his keen sense of humour and cunning wit was second only to Vader?s when it came to military tactics. This boldness was a dangerous attribute if not also beneficial.

    Solo?s fidgeting stopped immediately when the Emperor?s eyes fell on him. The Corellian averted his gaze, there was no one in the Empire who could match the Sith Lord?s stare. Despite having done the respectful act of lowering his gaze, Palpatine continued on boring his gaze onto the Corellian, stirring a thick tension.

    Not surprisingly, Palpatine began to smile. ?The loss of the asteroid?s surprise was a pity but a sacrifice well worth the retreat of the Confederation.?

    Raising his eyes towards the Emperor, Solo slowly nodded. ?There?s no where else for ?em to run so it?s gotta be Alderaan.?

    The Vader of twenty years ago would have sighed in irritation, since it seemed no am
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