Christmas Songs - Now Disc. Xmas Songs We're Already Tired of: "Santa Claus is Coming to Town"

There a lot of great ones you never hear. I'll throw you one: Christmas Time, a melancholy, acoustic number from a guy from Seattle (I think) with the statistically improbable name of Denison Witmer.

For more, I recommend Hip Christmas, a site dedicated to Christmas music that, in the words of the site, "rocks, swings & twangs." Start with his top 100, which is packed with songs you've maybe never heard (Freddie King's Christmas Tears, for instance, from which Clapton has borrowed licks note for note) that will work themselves into your year round rotation, they're so great. Then go to the songs section for more Christmas songs than you ever knew existed. Great, great site.

 

10 Christmas Songs I?m Already Sick Of (and 10 Geeky Alternatives)

By Z. Email Author
December 4, 2008 |

"We are scarcely into the month of December, and I am already dreadfully tired of classic Christmas music and, for that matter, many of its more contemporary alternatives. Don?t get me wrong, I?ve got Christmas Spirit? to spare, but the relentless audio assault of this holiday-themed musical fare has long since crossed the threshold from seasonally appropriate and into the realm of the obnoxious. When I shop at my local department store, I am crushed by the melancholy weight of "Blue Christmas." While I wait on hold, "Little Drummer Boy" incessantly pounds his way into my skull. At night while I slumber, "Donde Esta Santa Claus" plays in an endless loop over my horrifying (and inexplicably bilingual) dreams.

There?s obviously little wrong with the songs themselves, as they are classics for a reason. Instead the problem seems to lie with the limited aural palette from which we draw our Christmastime selections. Yes, Virginia, there is a wealth of other songs from which to choose.

"Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" ? Gene Autry (mistakenly attributed to Bing Crosby)
From his early days as a Montgomery Ward pitchman to his haphazardly animated Rankin/Bass television special to his eventual absorption into popular culture, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer taught us all an important lesson: one of acceptance and personal pride. Sadly, the song is less specific. To this day, I have no idea what constitutes "reindeer games."

Unbeknownst to all save post-punk laptop rapper MC Lars, Rudolph has an illegitimate brother who also saved Christmas. You can hear his tale of woe in Lars?s "Gary the Green-Nosed Reindeer" from the 2006 charity compilation A Santa Cause ? It?s a Punk Rock Christmas Vol. 2. It?s that rare piece of Yuletide songwriting to reference Osama Bin Laden."

 

What? Are you kidding me?

This is one succeeds in the otherwise difficult task of making a good, substantive non-secular song about a religious holiday. Unlike "The Christmas Song," it's actually workable with multiple renditions and performers. The emotional sweep of the song captures the vaunted place of Christmas among American holidays in a way that almost no other does. It should be in everyone's top 10 Christmas lists, and it is justifiably on heavy rotation. Complaining about this is almost akin to fussing about fireworks on the Fourth of July, or about hearing the I Have A Dream Speech on Martin Luther King Jr Day.

 

10 Christmas Songs I?m Already Sick Of (and 10 Geeky Alternatives)

"Santa Baby" ? Eartha Kitt

"In 1953, jazz chanteuse and future Catwoman Eartha Kitt described to Santa, in no uncertain terms, the various extravagances she required for a merry Christmas. It boasted a sassy, sexy shot of seasonal consumerism that made it a runaway success, and has, in the 55 years since it?s initial release, been covered by every man, woman and child on planet Earth. Madonna, RuPaul, Everclear and even Miss Piggy have taken a stab at this track, thus making it nigh inescapable.

Rather than break out this silky but well-worn number (or one of its less adept offspring) this year, why not toss something a little different into the mix? Wizard Rockers The Parselmouths? "Voldy Baby," for example, has a similar level of cheek coupled with uniquely geeky subject matter. It also uses the phrase "Floo Network" as a clever double entendre. Who can ask for more?"

 

The Chipmunk Song (Christmas Don?t Be Late)" ? Alvin and the Chipmunks

"Damn your black heart, Ross Bagdasarian! As David Seville, you unleashed upon the weary world a holiday tune so undeniably syrupy as to enchant children (and repulse adults) across the breadth of five decades. My kids play it incessantly so as to drive me mad, just as I did with my parents and them with theirs. May the circle be unbroken.

We get it: Alvin wants a hula hoop! If you must play a dated, pitch-altered gift-giving ditty, why not 1980?s "What Do You Get a Wookiee for Christmas (When He Already Owns a Comb)?" It?s from seminal Star Wars cash-in Christmas in the Stars, which, oddly enough, has nothing to do with The Star Wars Holiday Special. Save the fact that both kind of suck. Still, it?s long since fallen off the Christmas radar, and could probably use a revival."

 

LOL!

Somehow this seems like it should have been a Weird Al song. Its that absurd.

 

"Santa Claus is Coming to Town" ? Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band
Never has The Boss sounded so commanding, so full of good will toward men, so utterly constipated. Yes, Clarence needs a new saxophone, Little Steven a festive head scarf, and Bruce needs a double-shot of Metamucil. It?s a fun track and all, but haven?t we heard it enough?

Instead of further plumbing the depths of this classic rock catastrophe, why not check out another pair of rock royalty alchemically fused together for the sheer sake of holiday lunacy? Mash-up mastermind Smash combined the music of Chuck Berry and T.Rex?s Marc Bolan under the moniker "Rudolph Loves to Boogie" for a Get Your Bootleg On Christmas Challenge way back in 2003. It?s gotten little hard to find, but the prize is well worth the search."