Before - Legends Chronicles of the Old Republic: Cries of the Ancients (OC)

Hello, I'm a new author here (well, new author Period). Just thought I'd start posting this story I've been working on. Please let me know what you think as I go through. I hope you enjoy.
PROLOUGE
Karen ran, rain pounding on her face and wind blowing her cloak back. The darkness of the night and the storm was only illuminated by the blasts of distant explosions in the distance. Karen looked back, pulling the hood of her cloak back revealing her light complexion and smooth features of this young woman.
"Master Vathos?," she said as she looked behind her. Her dark hair was now damp and flat to her head as the slender young woman looked back down the alley of the shipyard.
The area was very industrial, an old run-down supply depot. Crates and containers of all shapes and sizes lay for a mile along this concrete floored area, a graveyard of rusted ships and long forgotten cargo. Gigantic rusted cranes hovered overhead, like some kind of behemoth creature waiting, with their wires and pullies flapping in the breeze. A figure soon appeared around the row of containers with his green lightsaber ignited. He was still quite a distance from Karen, but she could tell it was him. He limped towards her, suprisingly at a quick pace. She saw he was clearly injured as the older jedi looked at her as he came closer, his dark complexion offset by his white hair.
"Master, are you alright?" Karen said to Vathos.
"Don't worry about me, Padawan. Get to the ship. Fast..." Master Vathos paused for a moment, looking behind him. He breathed heavily, and held his side, which now as he was closer Karen could see was cut and singed, obviously from a lightsaber wound.
"But Master, I have to get you..." Karen explained as she was harshly interrupted.
"NO!" Vathos yelled, "Get to the ship now!!"
Their conversation was suddenly stopped by the whistle of an artillery shell flying close to them and hitting a quarter mile away.
"Get to the Council on Dantooine and tell them...." Vathos was again interrupted by a nearby blast.
A red glow eminated from a nearby opening in the alley behind them, soon a dark cloaked figure emerged and stood silently for a moment.
"Go! Now!" Master Vathos yelled again at the young woman.
Karen looked at the silent warrior a hundred yards away, back at the ship, then back at the mysterious figure. She stood for a moment, reaching for her lightsaber, then looked at her master. Vathos was visibly concerned, striking her with a stern look. Karen let go of her saber, and with her eyes tearing up, turned and ran for the ship.
The figure now began walking slowly towards Vathos, who turned around lifting his saber into a defensive position parallel to his body.
"You can't win this fight, Ruinus!" Vathos yelled down the vast wasteland-like area.
"On the contrary, Vathos. You will be crushed underneath me, as will the rest of the Jedi." A deep voice said from the cloaked figure.
Karen was now getting onboard the ship, she turned around to look back upon the two as their conversation unfolded.
"There have been wars before. Many of them, and each generation will have them." Master Vathos explained, breathing heavily, "What makes you think your little war will be any different?"
A chuckle came from the cloaked figure, "Wars decide the weak and the strong. Wars choose the right and wrong. Wars define ever essence of society, you can't deny that. No, Vathos, this is no War, this is truth in it's purest form. The strong rule, while the weak perish. When I am done, there will be more of the true essence of nature to the galaxy than the pitiful republic and their jedi lackies try to give with their government and rules."
"You sith and your delusional ideas. That doesn't even make sense," Vathos began slowly pacing towards Ruinus, "You will fall Darth Ruinus. If not by my hands, there will be another."
"I don't think so."
Darth Ruinus' cloak unfurled as he lept forward with an amazing speed, his jet black scales now shimmered with the light of the blasts in the distance, like

 

Good start I will be interested to see how the story pans out.

Kithera

 

Thanks for the encouragement. New to writing and not sure how well I'm doing at it.

 

It's really good! The only suggestion I would make is to spread it out a little and put a few more spaces in paragraphs (or between conversation) as that just makes it easier to read

Kithera