Saga Cloak and Shadow (Obi, Qui, Anakin plus many more.) Updated 01/23/2014 Surprise!

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by ZaraValinor, Jan 31, 2012.

Moderators: Briannakin, mavjade
  1. serendipityaey Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jan 24, 2004
    star 4
    So intriguing, so engaging, such a great story. Obi-Wan's pain is so real, it's clearly felt. And he's a tea addict now! Poor guy. Can't wait for more
  2. Gkilkenny Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2004
    star 4
    Very interesting, secrets are not good between master and aprentice, I hope Obi-Wan doesn't keep this secret too long.
  3. ZaraValinor Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 31, 2002
    star 4
    Valairy_Scot
    The life of a Jedi is one of difficulty and sacrifice; it is a hard life.
    Boy, does that resonate in this story.
    And I?m afraid it will get harder still.

    Lady_Misty
    The assassin thing might come out if Obi-Wan's not careful.
    Very true.

    charie
    Ooohh! This is a juicy one!!! I'm loving it! Hurry with more?
    Here?s more

    serendipityaey
    So intriguing, so engaging, such a great story. Obi-Wan's pain is so real, it's clearly felt. And he's a tea addict now! Poor guy. Can't wait for more
    Yeah, he?s taking some heavy sedatives. More next.

    Gkilkenny
    Very interesting, secrets are not good between master and aprentice, I hope Obi-Wan doesn't keep this secret too long.
    No they are very bad. I?m glad you?re intringued.






    It is a rare joy allotted to those who travel from one end of the galaxy to the other; the first assault of the senses as you leave the bland atmosphere of the contained ship and enter the wild environment of life.

    It was early morning when the Jedi's ship touched down into the fertile jungles of Besaturu. Blue veined leaves and wood grain scrapped across the forward viewport. The sun was just peaking over the horizon filling the sky with persimmon that faded to the crisp azure sky. Moisture that had culminated in the coolness of the night, was now rising and vanishing under the heat of the rising sun. It all coalesced into a picturesque welcome of inviting warmth.

    As much as Obi-Wan wished to avoid this mission, he was glad to have the waiting over. A silent treaty had been agreed upon by the three Jedi, no one asked questions and no arguments broke out. It made for a quiet, but awkward space flight. With the arrival of their mission, it would mean topics of discussion that would be more comfortable, arguments in logic and theory, not based on emotion and suspicion. All the while the youngest Jedi continually reminded himself that soon, he could rid himself of secrets. Master Dooku had promised him.

    He met Xan and Qui-Gon inside the loading area, giving each a quick once over. Xanatos looked as healthy and ready for action as he ever did, but it was Qui-Gon who worried Obi-Wan the most. Certainly this humid air would not be well for his ailing lungs. He shot a surreptitious gaze at Xan to see if he had sensed what Obi-Wan had known almost immediately, but if Xan knew he was not portraying that knowledge.

    He could not broach the subject without reneging on their unspoken accord. He only resolved to keep an eye on his old Master, cover for whatever minor discrepancies that might appear. Another thing to distract him from the work at hand, just when every detail needed his full attention.

    ?Don?t you just hate it when the Council sends you on these tropical paradise missions?? Xan murmured as the loading ramp lowered and they got their first unhindered view of Besaturu. Underneath the humidity, there was a rancid sweet smell of mildew and blossom.

    Their delegation was waiting on the edge of the landing clearing, dressed in short pants and light gossamer. The two men were obviously the highest clan leaders of the inland and island tribes. Dornup, the chief of the Island clans, was a large bantha of a man, red skinned with tattooing just visible underneath the shimmering cloth around his waist. He had a skull cap of dark, rough hair, and his eyes were as dark as space. The chief of the inlands, Keliff, was of slighter build, but just as tall, his skin was a milky green that heightened the fiery red of his hair. Obi-Wan could not see how the two tribes had once existed as one. The only thing they seemed to have in common was the style of their clothing.

    Keeping the two men separate were a contingent of island and inland women, a defense mechanism to keep the warring clans from attacking during the negotiations. Women were revered, held in high regard in both tribes.

    ?Is it me or are we overdressed?? Xan whispered to Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon.

    ?Can you focus, please?? Obi-Wan asked.

    X
  4. charie Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Oct 6, 2007
    star 2
    What an awesome story! I'm do glad you came back to it. I love the relationships between the characters. Thanks for writing and the PM:)[face_love]
  5. ZaraValinor Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 31, 2002
    star 4

    I'm so glad you like it. Thank you.
  6. charie Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Oct 6, 2007
    star 2
  7. obsessedwithSW Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 24, 2005
    star 4
    Hi Zara! If you published a novel let me know send me a pm Id like to get your book!
    I dont remember this story, but who can resist xan and obi together?[face_batting]
    Looking forward to more!
  8. Lady_Misty Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 21, 2007
    star 4
    'There are two kinds of people that sit around all day thinking how to kill people: psychopaths and mystery writers.' At least Obi-Wan isn't the former and truly sad that he isn't the latter.
  9. obimom Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 31, 2010
    star 4
    Just read the first chapter...Wow. Poor Obi-Wan, I felt so sorry for him as he escaped...a reluctant assassin...I wonder where this road will take him? [face_worried]
  10. obimom Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 31, 2010
    star 4
    I've now read chapter two, and I want to keep reading, but I'll have to continue later. Dooku is on the council? and like others I wonder how much this is the council and how much this is Dooku...

    Xan and Obi like brothers? Anakin training in the temple as an intiate? Love this AU look at the familiar characters.

    Poor Obi-Wan feels so trapped. I hope he can find his way out without compromising a whole lot of people, including himself (except perhaps for those who need to be compromised)..[face_worried]
  11. serendipityaey Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jan 24, 2004
    star 4
    Love the three boys together, and their interactions, so much fun to read [face_love] Usually Obi-Wan is described as dealing really well with animals, like lovely Boga, as opposed to Anakin's expertise with machines, but maybe it was something he grew into, or just not so in this story :)

    I love the setting and the story, and am so interested to see what happens here! Very mysterious... great writing!
  12. ZaraValinor Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 31, 2002
    star 4
    charie
    More soon?
    Sorry for the delay. Here is more.

    obsessedwithSW
    Hi Zara! If you published a novel let me know send me a pm Id like to get your book!
    I dont remember this story, but who can resist xan and obi together?
    Looking forward to more!
    Hello! The book is still in rewrites. I?ll probably be putting it on Amazon as an ebook as I look for a publisher. I?ll let you know when it?s available. You?re super sweet.
    I?m glad you like it.


    Lady_Misty
    'There are two kinds of people that sit around all day thinking how to kill people: psychopaths and mystery writers.' At least Obi-Wan isn't the former and truly sad that he isn't the latter.
    You?ve got to love Castle, huh? Yeah. Poor Obi-Wan. He?s just not getting a break.

    obimom
    Just read the first chapter...Wow. Poor Obi-Wan, I felt so sorry for him as he escaped...a reluctant assassin...I wonder where this road will take him?
    I've now read chapter two, and I want to keep reading, but I'll have to continue later. Dooku is on the council? and like others I wonder how much this is the council and how much this is Dooku...
    Xan and Obi like brothers? Anakin training in the temple as an intiate? Love this AU look at the familiar characters.
    Poor Obi-Wan feels so trapped. I hope he can find his way out without compromising a whole lot of people, including himself (except perhaps for those who need to be compromised)..
    There is a certain idea behind this entire premise and Xan and Anakin and Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon are all being affected by this. Though the reason won?t be revealed for some time. Thanks for reading.

    serendipityaey
    Love the three boys together, and their interactions, so much fun to read Usually Obi-Wan is described as dealing really well with animals, like lovely Boga, as opposed to Anakin's expertise with machines, but maybe it was something he grew into, or just not so in this story

    I love the setting and the story, and am so interested to see what happens here! Very mysterious... great writing!
    It is fun writing all three of them together. With Obi-Wan and animals, I always saw it as he got older, he felt more a bond to those things that were living. In Jedi Apprentice he was more mechanically inclined so I think spending time with Anakin who was a mechanical genius, gave him an opportunity to explore and find something that fit better with him. Ending my ramble. Thanks for reading!


    What can be felt in the darkness, opposed to the light? What answers lie in silence and cannot be found in question? Those who know the answers to these questions are unlike any in the galaxy. They see where all others are blind. Hear when all others are deaf.

    He was glad to be away from the tension, he felt as though his every muscle had been knotted thrice and was not ashamed to admit that he had run from the word games that Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan seemed to indulge in. He pretended to turn a blind eye to it, but the truth was he worried incessantly about the both of them.

    Obi-Wan?s distance troubled him more than Qui-Gon?s illness. His old master would fight tooth and nail regardless of how he felt or what stood in his way. What the Force willed, Qui-Gon would accomplish. But Obi-Wan was still a young knight, despite all of his brilliance. He knew his craft, but he hadn?t found his confidence in it.

    When Obi-Wan had discovered him with Enilee, he was sure that his younger friend would have lectured him. Instead, Obi-Wan had backed down, been a diplomat, instead of a brother.

    His musing had led his feet to the edge of the river, the water rushing after the winter?s run-off. The sprinkle of water was cool against his skin and he hunkered down over the lip of the river bench, dangling his legs in the air.

    The sound of soft marsh compacting, the weight of footsteps brought him out of his thoughts, his hand dropping to the lightsaber at his belt. He instantly uncoiled, as he saw a tiny inland boy coming towards him. Customary to the tribe his gr/>
  13. Valairy Scot Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 16, 2005
    star 5

    Obi-Wan skirted the scarred and pocked surface of the earth, where he and Xan had been talking moments ago. How many had not been as lucky as he and Xan and been killed because of his delay? Must his inadequacy lead to the suffering of the innocence? How could he have been so stupid? Lives hung in the balance and he was the one who weighted the scales. He should have put his personal fears away and executed his duty.


    You can just feel Obi-Wan's pain at what he feels he MUST do. If he's being manipulated into this - well, I can think of few more cruel things than to turn someone's compassion for the dead into a tool of murder.

    Obi-Wan is either going to break or grow cold and unfeeling (the latter is quite unlikely, IMHO).

    Fantastic job.
  14. charie Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Oct 6, 2007
    star 2


    Wow! What an exciting post! I really feel for Obi-wan and love the relationships between the three of them :)
  15. Lady_Misty Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 21, 2007
    star 4
  16. serendipityaey Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jan 24, 2004
    star 4
    Poor poor Obi-Wan! I feel so badly for him, but I'm loving this story and I'm intrigued by how well he does this painful job. Exciting and intense :D Cannot wait for more! (I so want to give him a hug!! He needs me!;))
  17. Gkilkenny Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2004
    star 4
    I like the banter between Obi and Xan and yes Xan does have eyes for the women.
    Poor Obi-Wan constantly planning how to dispose of someone ? not good.[face_worried]


    Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan watched him go, each lost in their own thoughts. ?I don?t like this,? Obi-Wan breathed after a while. ?The Council asks too much.?

    ?It is a difficult situation but there is always hope,? countered the older Jedi. ?But we make our own destiny.?

    ?Of that, I?m well aware of.?


    Yes Obi-Wan you are in control of your destiny and I wonder does Dooku really have your back.

    I seem to be missing the updates could I please have a PM when you post? Thanks:D
  18. ZaraValinor Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 31, 2002
    star 4
    Valairy_Scot

    Obi-Wan skirted the scarred and pocked surface of the earth, where he and Xan had been talking moments ago. How many had not been as lucky as he and Xan and been killed because of his delay? Must his inadequacy lead to the suffering of the innocence? How could he have been so stupid? Lives hung in the balance and he was the one who weighted the scales. He should have put his personal fears away and executed his duty.
    You can just feel Obi-Wan's pain at what he feels he MUST do. If he's being manipulated into this - well, I can think of few more cruel things than to turn someone's compassion for the dead into a tool of murder.
    Obi-Wan is either going to break or grow cold and unfeeling (the latter is quite unlikely, IMHO).
    Fantastic job.

    He?s definitely in a catch 22. Any which way he goes, he feels like he?s letting someone down or losing himself. Thanks so much for reading.

    charie

    Wow! What an exciting post! I really feel for Obi-wan and love the relationships between the three of them

    Its all pretty tense. Thanks.

    [b ]Lady_Misty[/b]

    Blast, poor Obi-Wan!

    He needs hugs.

    Serendipityaey

    Poor poor Obi-Wan! I feel so badly for him, but I'm loving this story and I'm intrigued by how well he does this painful job. Exciting and intense Cannot wait for more! (I so want to give him a hug!! He needs me! )

    He really does, the poor boy. But we all love to see him tortured.

    Gkilkenny

    I like the banter between Obi and Xan and yes Xan does have eyes for the women.
    Poor Obi-Wan constantly planning how to dispose of someone ? not good.

    Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan watched him go, each lost in their own thoughts. ?I don?t like this,? Obi-Wan breathed after a while. ?The Council asks too much.?
    ?It is a difficult situation but there is always hope,? countered the older Jedi. ?But we make our own destiny.?
    ?Of that, I?m well aware of.?
    Yes Obi-Wan you are in control of your destiny and I wonder does Dooku really have your back.
    I seem to be missing the updates could I please have a PM when you post? Thanks

    I certainly will PM you. You make a good point on Obi-Wan controlling his destiny. Let?s hope he will see that soon.
  19. ZaraValinor Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 31, 2002
    star 4
    What remains undiscovered and left in shadow will eventually come upon you. Usually when you least suspect it, the secret seeks to snag you.

    ?I returned to the ceremonial hut, claiming that I could not find Dornup. It wasn't long before Qui-Gon and Xanatos arranged the uniting of Nanati and Feltel, joining the clans. Everyone agreed that Dorunp died of natural causes. Peace has once again come to Besaturu,? Obi-Wan reported in a dispassionate monotone. ?You got what you wanted.?

    Yes, Besaturu had found peace, but Obi-Wan was twisted and rotted on the inside. The trip back to Coruscant he had spoken only the requisite amount to his brother and mentor, making the trip worse, if possible, then the one to Besaturu. He thought he had prepared himself mentally to take a life in the unknowing presence of his family, but he had thoroughly fooled himself. It had been physically painful to look both in the eye and lie so smoothly, so artfully.

    ?Your actions saved thousands upon thousands of lives, m'lad,? Master Dooku soothed, his blue eyes gazing at him kindly, sympathetically. Why did Obi-Wan suspect that look?

    He rocketed out of the conforming chair inside their appointed rendezvous point. ?I'm not your lad. I'm Qui-Gon's.? And even in this he knew he lied. He was Dooku's boy now, his grandmaster's pet. He'd pushed his former mentor away to the point that they were strangers who were well versed in each other?s past. He had allowed this secret to drive a stake through his relationships, till only Dooku knew him well.

    ?The Council is worried about your attitude of late, Obi-Wan. This melancholy and abrupt mood swings are triggers that we can't afford,? Dooku chastised him. ?You must learn to deal with this.?

    ?I held a man's life in my hand and I snapped it out,? the younger Jedi countered heatedly, refusing to look down at his hands and wonder why they weren't covered in the blood of his victims. ?I felt it slip away from me. This was no duel, not battlefield where it was kill or be killed. Don't tell me that I need to deal with that.?

    Dooku sighed, running a hand through his snow-white hair. ?These emotions will lead you to recklessness. Think of the damage you could do, if you do not gain control of yourself. I would be deeply concerned if you did not take this seriously, but you must understand the tenuous circumstances we are in.?

    Deflating in defeat, Obi-Wan nodded, feeling his righteous anger sputter out of him. ?Yes, Master
    Dooku, I understand.?

    ?The Council has placed a heavy burden on you, m'lad. Yet, we know you can handle it despite the difficulties,? Dooku assured him. He offered an unfettered smile. ?On a brighter side, the Council does not require your special skills for the moment. Take the time to relax and to gather your focus. Perhaps visit some of your friends. This life can be lonely, but I will champion you Obi-Wan.?


    When Obi-Wan arrived at his quarters, he was surprised to see young Anakin Skywalker waiting for him. The boy was as disheveled and cyclonic as ever, his ice-blue eyes coming to rest on the Jedi Knight almost instinctively. At the sight of Anakin, Obi-Wan felt the Force flutter. There was no denying the inherent power brewing under the surface of youth-smooth skin.

    Inexplicably, he felt a surge of anger. ?Did Qui-Gon send you?? he snapped at the boy as he approached his door. He did not want a Padawan, could not stand to disturb Anakin's light. Why couldn't his former Master cease his meddling?

    ?No, why?? the boy appeared the epitome of innocence.

    Contrite, Obi-Wan gave his head a negating shake. ?It's nothing,? he assured in a much more subdued tone. ?What brings you here, my young friend??

    ?Free time and I'd heard that you and the others had returned,? Anakin said shyly, his toe tracing an unseen path on the tile. It amazed Obi-Wan how far ranging the emotions of his young friend could be. Sometimes Anakin had a self-confidence that bordered on the arrogant and at other times, he was very much just a young boy and not the fu/>
  20. Valairy Scot Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 16, 2005
    star 5
    That last line is ominous - Yoda knows wherefore he speaks - and we do not. Yoda does not seem surprised.

    Ominous.
  21. charie Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Oct 6, 2007
    star 2
    The plot thickens:) more soon please:)
  22. Lady_Misty Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 21, 2007
    star 4
    Who was Anakin talking to?

    The plot is going t get thicker than peanut butter soon.
  23. obimom Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 31, 2010
    star 4
    All caught up now. Edited this with more time to post...previous was hurried.


    Wow - another dark tortured Obi story, in this case him with a tortured soul...[face_worried]

    And one that is well thought out, well plotted and well written...doesn't get any better than this...

    I ached for Obi-Wan when I read this...it's so going against who he is, and like Val said, his compassion in a twisted way is being used to force him to actions that is so much against his grain, but he feels he has no choice...Poor Obi...and then to have to hide it from those he loves, and on top of it Qui-Gon is sick. So much angst, what is going to happen.


    And I too wonder who Anakin was talking to...?

    Love this. Please PM?

  24. Gkilkenny Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2004
    star 4
    The plot does thicken and what master is trying to get Anakin and Obi-Wan together.
    Tell me and I'll run him through.[face_devil] Don't give Obi-Wan anymore pain by making him train bratkins.:p

    Thanks for the pm I'm loving this.=D=
  25. ZaraValinor Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 31, 2002
    star 4
    Thanks everyone for your comments. [:D] I'll try to respond later, but I wanted to get the next part up.


    There is only one rule when you harbor secrets of death. Trust no one.

    The summons had not come soon enough for Obi-Wan. He?d endured a week of the subtle and not-so-subtle inquisitions from Xanatox, coupled with the constant awkward pauses and built shields between he and his former mentor, before Master Dooku had seen fit to call upon his skills yet again.

    Anakin had been his only respite and strangely the only moments of peace afforded him during the bland days. The young initiate did not breach the subject of his apprenticeship, nor did Obi-Wan bring it up, each content with the presence of the other and not wishing to force another painful altercation.

    He had sat in session with the Council in which he requested that Anakin?s skills be assessed and properly cared for. He?d felt Yoda?s heavy eyes continually upon him and worried that the great Jedi Master no longer found him worthy of the Council?s trust. He?d been recalcitrant and argumentative, how soon would they find him no longer an asset.

    It was two days later that he found the next mission packet on his meticulously made bunk, dispelling his worry. Essential resident information regarding the planet of Naboo and its current political and structural situations. Taxation of trade routes had lead the Trade Federation to blockade the Naboo system for some time. As the season ticked by, negotiations had failed. The Supreme Chancellor was hoping to resolve the problem before he became further mired in the senate.

    Obi-Wan?s forehead wrinkled with confusion. There had been no target identified, an inarticulate gap in the file report that for reasons unknown caused him to turn to ice.

    Briefing to be held at 2300 hours Coruscant time. Star Chart room 2032.

    Such was the time and such was the place that Obi-Wan stood before the barred door to the
    holoprojection room that contained one of the main star displays of the known galaxy. This one had been supposedly shut down for repairs. It caused the young Jedi Assassin to wonder how far in advance Dooku planned these middle-of-the-night rendezvous.

    He typed in the access code that had been held on the mission report, crossing the threshold, he nearly leapt back into the hall as he realized that Master Cristoff Dooku was not alone. Instead, he paused allowing his wonderment to mask his true confusion. Obi-Wan produced a chagrin expression. ?Pardon me, Master Dooku. I did not know you were using this room.?

    A lame excuse he knew, but there was no reason he should be held from even this quarantined space. As a Jedi Knight he had a wide access to most things inside the Temple. As an assassin, his access was more secretive, generated by dummy codes and failsafe entrances.

    With a bow of apology, Obi-Wan began to retreat. ?No, Obi-Wan, stay,? Master Dooku stopped him. ?Knight Cyell will be accompanying you on this next mission.?

    Obi-Wan had seen Knight Atonee Cyell a number of times during his brief stays at the Temple. Never had a word passed between them, never had they exchanged anything more than a nod of recognition, but Obi-Wan had always felt a certain inconvenient connection to the Jedi Knight and now he knew why. Knight Cyell was one of his fellow assassins.

    The other Jedi looked up at him from the confines of a conforming chair, his expression that of smug self-assurance dancing in his cerulean eyes and tugging at the corners of his mouth, causing his sharp cheek bones to jut out even more. He ran a hand through his close cropped white hair, before standing and offering a sloppy bow.

    Alcohol wafted off of him to the point that Obi-Wan feared he, himself, would become intoxicated from the fumes. Yet it was clear that Knight Cyell had cleared the toxins from his bloodstream. He was dressed in the articles of concealment that Obi-Wan had warn a number of times himself and deduced that Cyell had just returned from />
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