Saga Cloak and Shadow (Obi, Qui, Anakin plus many more.) Updated 01/23/2014 Surprise!

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by ZaraValinor, Jan 31, 2012.

Moderators: Briannakin, mavjade
  1. Valairy Scot Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 16, 2005
    star 5
    I'm afraid I don't what to hope for at this point - part of wants Obi-Wan to get all stubborn and refuse to do this anymore, yet he would find it a betrayal of all he holds dear in a way. He truly believes what he is doing for the best; it's just not the best for him.

    And the fact that he wonders if in time he'll be as cold and unfeeling as his fellow assassin...

    Poor Obi-Wan.
  2. Lady_Misty Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 21, 2007
    star 4
    I want to kill Dooku. Slowly and painfully.
  3. Gkilkenny Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2004
    star 4
    I'm scared for Obi-Wan and I don't like Dooku and the councils sneaky games.[face_worried]
  4. obimom Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 31, 2010
    star 4
    This is getting deeper, and I"m so fearful of what it is doing to Obi-Wan...or what might happen to him.

    Disturbing, to say the least. And now, Naboo!!

    [face_worried]

    Yes, I'll say it too - Poor Obi-Wan.

  5. ZaraValinor Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 31, 2002
    star 4
    Valairy_Scot
    I'm afraid I don't what to hope for at this point - part of wants Obi-Wan to get all stubborn and refuse to do this anymore, yet he would find it a betrayal of all he holds dear in a way. He truly believes what he is doing for the best; it's just not the best for him.
    And the fact that he wonders if in time he'll be as cold and unfeeling as his fellow assassin...
    Poor Obi-Wan.
    That?s the crux of the problem. He stands on the line of decision and what will he choose. And who does that make him.
    Poor boy, indeed.

    Lady_Misty
    I want to kill Dooku. Slowly and painfully.
    You?ll probably have help.
    Gkilkenny
    I'm scared for Obi-Wan and I don't like Dooku and the councils sneaky games.
    Yeah, I?ve got a bad feeling about this.
    obimom
    This is getting deeper, and I?m so fearful of what it is doing to Obi-Wan...or what might happen to him.
    Disturbing, to say the least. And now, Naboo!!
    Yes, I'll say it too - Poor Obi-Wan.
    He?s in a bad way. Thanks for reading.
    Even with the Force there is never a way to know when the end of this life will be. We may have visions, flashes of a dark fate, but they are not bound in permecrete. A very wise Jedi Master repeatedly quoted, ?Always in motion is the future.? Still, when those moments of prescience hit us, we cannot help but act.

    Qui-Gon Jinn woke up in a fit of coughing, his chest barreled and heaving for the much needed air that his lungs were too tight to let through. A peculiar rasping, wheeze sounded for every breath he took and he reached for the hypospray the medics had given him. Pressing it against his neck, he pulled the trigger, breathing in short but controlled gulps, he waited for the medicine to do its work.

    He'd had the dream again. It had plagued his sleep since they had left Besaturu and would not leave him, no matter the number of meditations he set his mind to. Obi-Wan would be before him, speaking quickly and with great effect and then a shadow would move behind him. Seconds later a lightsaber blade would be run through his midsection, his eyes wide with both fear and pain.

    Eventually, Qui-Gon?s breathing smoothed and he felt the hitch in his lungs morph into an itching irritation. The medic had given him explicit instructions not to let himself get too emotional, something that should have been easy for a Jedi Master, but every time he saw that blade run through the young man that was all but son, he could not control his pain and rage.

    He passed his hand over his gruff beard, feeling the course hair scratch the inside flesh of his palm, his mind caught in a whirlwind. What if these repetitive dreams were visions through the Force, of what might happen if he did not resolve something? He knew the shadow was somehow responsible for his former apprentice?s death and that it was this that he must discover and destroy before it could reach Obi-Wan.

    Physically exhausted and wanting for nothing more than to slip back beneath the thin but warm coverings, Qui-Gon pushed himself to his feet. This physical weakness had caused the Council to keep him in Temple for the time being, keeping him under tight scrutiny of the healers, hoping to find the cause of this illness.

    Dressing quickly, he dosed himself once more with the medication before he started his day off. Early morning exercises to freshen both mind and body and to help him put behind that terrible vision of Obi-Wan dead before him. He would do his best to hide from the medics through most of the afternoon before eventually tiring of the game and giving himself over to their ministrations.

    Cloak over his shoulder, Qui-Gon exited out of his quarters and nearly ran into Knight Atonee Cyell and his own former apprentice. Qui-Gon recovered quickly, careful not to reveal his private worries for his boy, and the increasing illness inside of him.

    ?Knight Cyell, pardon my clumsiness,? he said cordially. He shot a glance at Obi-Wan, hoping to see some sign as to why he was in the company of a Jedi Qui-Gon knew h/>
  6. Valairy Scot Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 16, 2005
    star 5
    Golly, I hope Obi-Wan is not being set up, meant to be the "new problem what won't shut" who it is now best to dispose of.
  7. charie Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Oct 6, 2007
    star 2

    This is a really different take on TPM. Love how Obi-wan is protective of Qui-Gon:)
    Great chapter! Im still loving it! More soon?!!!!
  8. Lady_Misty Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 21, 2007
    star 4
    Qui-Gon needs to get better.
  9. obimom Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 31, 2010
    star 4
    You know, I had thoughts after reading the last chapter of (don't even want to say it) of Obi-Wan being the target adn a light saber mysteriously going through him....and then I read Qui-Gon's dream.

    Oh dear...more worries for Obi-Wan...[face_worried]

    But I loved how he came to Qui-Gon's defense....but will Qui-Gon, even in his weakened condition, feel compelled to "rescue" Obi-Wan...?

    And....Ice the girl? Oh no!! Is that who I think it is?

    Not expecting answers, except how it is played out in the story, but just throwing my own thoughts and reactions out.



    :D
  10. ZaraValinor Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 31, 2002
    star 4
    Valairy_Scot

    Golly, I hope Obi-Wan is not being set up, meant to be the "new problem what won't shut" who it is now best to dispose of.

    It is a danger.

    charie

    This is a really different take on TPM. Love how Obi-wan is protective of Qui-Gon:)
    Great chapter! Im still loving it! More soon?!!!!

    More coming soon. Thank you.

    Lady_Misty

    Qui-Gon needs to get better.

    I agree.

    obimom

    You know, I had thoughts after reading the last chapter of (don't even want to say it) of Obi-Wan being the target adn a light saber mysteriously going through him....and then I read Qui-Gon's dream.
    Oh dear...more worries for Obi-Wan...
    But I loved how he came to Qui-Gon's defense....but will Qui-Gon, even in his weakened condition, feel compelled to "rescue" Obi-Wan...?
    And....Ice the girl? Oh no!! Is that who I think it is?
    Not expecting answers, except how it is played out in the story, but just throwing my own thoughts and reactions out.

    It is probably who you think it is. But there are always twists and turns.
  11. ZaraValinor Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 31, 2002
    star 4
    Secrets surround everyone but to those who understand them best, they are easily seen. A liar instantly recognizes a liar.

    Obi-Wan had read the data concerning Naboo extensively. He knew that the ruler was a sixteen-year-old girl who had been immersed in politics since nearly her birth. Apparently, the planet had been eager to dispose of their former ruler, who had been accused and convicted of several counts of abused power. Somehow he?d managed to escape the planet and his own justice.

    All and all, despite the legal machinations, it appeared a very cut and dry assignment. Another he could not quite understand why one, let alone two, Jedi Assassins were needed. His impatience with the Council?s cryptic missions and his own heart sickness grew more and more each day. And on top of all that there was his Xanatos dangerous relationship with Knight Suryan and his mentor?s illness, it all lent itself to stress he did not need.

    ?You know the words aren?t going to change the longer you look at them,? Cyell broke into his concentration, managing even with his eyes closed to look slightly amused and arrogant. ?You?ve studied them for hours, mate.?

    ?I?m sure then that you have the policy and procedures regarding both the Naboo and the Nemiodians memorized. We are nearly arrived to our destination. I think it best that we split up the investigation. If you?d prefer, I?ll take the Neimodian faction,? he allowed, knowing that it was the green-skinned, amphibious species that would probably give them the most trouble. Neimodian?s tended to be a jittery, untrusting, race. Better to have soothing logic, then Cyell?s constant arrogance. He only hoped Queen Amidala was as poised as his sources pointed she was.

    Cyell dined to open his cerulean eyes, their mocking quality watching Obi-Wan indiscriminately. ?Whatever you say, Kenobi. I?ll just be glad to have this done with.?

    For the first time since knowing what Cyell was an assassin, Obi-Wan thought he caught the same sense of weariness in his fellow assassin that clung to him like Coruscant smog. ?I know this it is difficult. Taking a life in any situation is terrible, but we protect the Republic.?

    ?Don?t you ever get tired of reciting that twaddle,? Cyell asked, rolling his eyes dramatically. ?Death is the only power in this galaxy.?


    Queen Amidala and Viceroy Nute Gunray were as different as night and day. Where the Queen was a slight girl, making up for her lack of physical dominance in poise and substance, the Viceroy was tall, dwarfing Obi-Wan and Cyell in his height but was jittery and overly suspicious. They were both dressed in the ornate robes of their station and were keeping a healthy distance away from one another.

    ?Your Highness, Viceroy,? Obi-Wan greeted, bowing to them in turn, thankful that at least Knight Cyell remembered a little of his diplomatic skill to echo Obi-Wan?s subservience before their assignment.

    It was the girl who spoke first. ?We appreciate your speed in arriving here, Master Jedi. I look forward to your help in working out this dispute.?

    Obi-Wan gauged her words and felt that they came from the heart. Though he knew how well a young pretty face could be deceptive, he believed this young Queen of Naboo was sincere. He did not however, have the same sense of assurance from her Neimodian counterpart. He was a man who kept secrets, was perhaps far too skilled in the area, and recognized when another did not share this same experience.

    The Neimodians were hiding something, which really didn?t surprise the young Jedi Assassin. Most beings had a magnetically sealed locker that they kept their most private thoughts in. No, what disturbed him was that the Neimodians feared that he, or he and Cyell, would find their secrets and exploit them. That they expected such from Jedi Knights was suspicious enough, that these two Jedi both happened to be secret assassins made it all the more troublesome.

    ?Padme and Yane will escort you to your rooms,? the Queen said. ?We will begin negotiations at
    1200 hours. If/>
  12. Valairy Scot Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 16, 2005
    star 5
    Cliffhanger!

    So Obi-Wan figures out what I suspected for a few chapters now. That part of his life is over now - and I sincerely hope that only that PART of his life, not his life itself.

    I'm on the edge of my seat banging my utensils for a quick update!
  13. obimom Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 31, 2010
    star 4
    YIkes!! This one act by Cyrell was enough for Obi-Wan eyes to be opened? I'm glad for it, because I didn't think, in spite of everything, that he could kill a young girl.

    Now he realizes he's been set up? (If I'm reading this right). I have a feeling his life is about to take a very definite turn, beginning right now.

    I see dual coming, but not with Darth Maul (at least not yet, anyway). Is Qui-Gon's dream about to come true (not to his death though, although that is the intention?).

    Lots of questions, relief that Obi-Wan realizes now that he's been used and manipulated, and set up for death, and I'm wondering very much what is going to happen next.

    Gosh, you keep us on the edge of our seats!! Will try not to bite my nails waiting for an update!!

  14. Gkilkenny Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2004
    star 4
    Brilliant two chapters and Obi-Wan has become the liability. I don't like the council or Dooku.
    I hope Padme goes with him and they escape.
    Loving everything about this story.=D=
  15. JediMaster_Jen Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 3, 2002
    star 4
    Just read through this and I must say, Wow!! You're doing an excellent job. Obi-Wan's pain at what he is doing just jumps off the page. As for Dooku and the Council, I can't stand them. But you write Dooku brilliantly; his sinister manipulation of Obi-Wan is very intriguing.

    Looks like a confrontation between Obi and Cyell is on the horizon and I can't wait to see how that plays out and where the queen fits into it.

    Excellent so far and I look forward to more. :)
  16. Lady_Misty Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 21, 2007
    star 4
    *dead silence*

    AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
  17. serendipityaey Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jan 24, 2004
    star 4
    I'm so sorry for falling behind, if only because I *love** reading this story :D Slowly trying to catch up... I absolutely love what you're doing with Anakin and Obi-Wan's relationship, a true brotherhood as it might've been at it's best, but then pow, you hit us with this:


    Seeing that he was not going to get any answers from his companion, Anakin said, ?I will keep trying Master. I will not fail.?


    Wow. Yikes. Wow :eek: I have no idea what this means, but I'm entirely intrigued.

    The whole part with Enilee finding out was very interesting, and I do love her and Xanatos together, can't resist a little romance [face_love]


    ?Fear I do that save young Kenobi from this pain, I cannot.?


    Argghhhh! That gives me a horrible, terribly bad feeling :_|

  18. serendipityaey Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jan 24, 2004
    star 4
    Oh the angst, I'm truly worried for Obi-Wan now, in a few different ways, and I'm beginning to doubt Dooku in even more ways. What is going on here? masterfully intriguing. I don't have time to read more right now, but I'm going too anyway :D
  19. serendipityaey Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jan 24, 2004
    star 4
    Love Qui, love Anakin, love Obi, hate Dooku... love Obi [face_love] I'm enjoying this story so immensely, the writing is spectacular. Oh yeah, hate Cyell too. Although I love my good light side Obi-Wan, I guess we do love to torture him, I really like reading those shadows in him and how he's going to deal with all. I'm sure he will be great - only more space to rise. We'll see :)

    So good! Almost caught up...
  20. serendipityaey Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jan 24, 2004
    star 4
    So good, exciting and dramatic... now what?? Can not wait for more!
  21. charie Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Oct 6, 2007
    star 2

    I have to wonder just how much the council knows about this mission . Is it just Dooku manipulating them ? Sounds like Obi-wan's had enough anyway. OMG don't make us wait long please.. Thanks for writing:)
  22. ZaraValinor Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 31, 2002
    star 4
    Valairy_Scot

    Cliffhanger!

    So Obi-Wan figures out what I suspected for a few chapters now. That part of his life is over now - and I sincerely hope that only that PART of his life, not his life itself.

    I'm on the edge of my seat banging my utensils for a quick update!

    Sorry it took so long. Life is a pain sometimes.

    obimom

    YIkes!! This one act by Cyrell was enough for Obi-Wan eyes to be opened? I'm glad for it, because I didn't think, in spite of everything, that he could kill a young girl.

    Now he realizes he's been set up? (If I'm reading this right). I have a feeling his life is about to take a very definite turn, beginning right now.

    I see dual coming, but not with Darth Maul (at least not yet, anyway). Is Qui-Gon's dream about to come true (not to his death though, although that is the intention?).

    Lots of questions, relief that Obi-Wan realizes now that he's been used and manipulated, and set up for death, and I'm wondering very much what is going to happen next.

    Gosh, you keep us on the edge of our seats!! Will try not to bite my nails waiting for an update!!


    Yeah, Obi-Wan's got some tought decisions to make.

    Gkilkenny


    Brilliant two chapters and Obi-Wan has become the liability. I don't like the council or Dooku.
    I hope Padme goes with him and they escape.
    Loving everything about this story.

    Thank you so much.

    JediMaster_Jen

    Just read through this and I must say, Wow!! You're doing an excellent job. Obi-Wan's pain at what he is doing just jumps off the page. As for Dooku and the Council, I can't stand them. But you write Dooku brilliantly; his sinister manipulation of Obi-Wan is very intriguing.

    Looks like a confrontation between Obi and Cyell is on the horizon and I can't wait to see how that plays out and where the queen fits into it.

    Excellent so far and I look forward to more.

    I'm so glad you enjoy it. Dooku is very manipulative.

    Lady_Misty
    Registered:Mar '07

    *dead silence*

    AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

    It's okay. Don't worry. Yet, anyway.


    serendipityaey

    I'm so sorry for falling behind, if only because I *love** reading this story Slowly trying to catch up... I absolutely love what you're doing with Anakin and Obi-Wan's relationship, a true brotherhood as it might've been at it's best, but then pow, you hit us with this:

    Seeing that he was not going to get any answers from his companion, Anakin said, ?I will keep trying Master. I will not fail.?

    Wow. Yikes. Wow I have no idea what this means, but I'm entirely intrigued.

    The whole part with Enilee finding out was very interesting, and I do love her and Xanatos together, can't resist a little romance


    ?Fear I do that save young Kenobi from this pain, I cannot.?

    Argghhhh! That gives me a horrible, terribly bad feeling


    Oh the angst, I'm truly worried for Obi-Wan now, in a few different ways, and I'm beginning to doubt Dooku in even more ways. What is going on here? masterfully intriguing. I don't have time to read more right now, but I'm going too anyway


    Love Qui, love Anakin, love Obi, hate Dooku... love Obi I'm enjoying this story so immensely, the writing is spectacular. Oh yeah, hate Cyell too. Although I love my good light side Obi-Wan, I guess we do love to torture him, I really like reading those shadows in him and how he's going to deal with all. I'm sure he will be great - only more space to rise. We'll see

    So good! Almost caught up...

    So good, exciting and dramatic... now what?? Can not wait for more!

    I've always wanted to write a story where Anakin was raised in the Temple to see what would change. So I'm glad you like their relationship. There's also something about Obi-Wan and Dooku conversing. I love that there could be so many meanings behind Dooku's words. It's best tno to trust him.

    Thank you so much.


    charie


    I have to wonder just how much the council knows about this mission . Is it just Dooku manipulating them ? Sounds like Obi
  23. ZaraValinor Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 31, 2002
    star 4
    There are alternatives to fighting. But it if you must fight, fight true.

    Obi-Wan pulled the young queen behind him, while drawing his saber and bringing the blue blade up as a barrier between him and his fellow assassin. Once upon a time, he might have tried to talk Cyell from this course of action. Except, the other man had already killed indiscriminately once and Obi-Wan had no doubt that he and the queen were also on the list.

    Cyell smirked at him, a cruel laugh in his voice. ?Really, Kenobi? You aren?t going to lie down and play dead for the Council. I thought you?d do anything for them.?

    ?What are you doing, Cyell? You could not have investigated the situation. We?ve barely arrived!? He ignored the part about the Council. Even with his own misgivings and doubts, he didn?t want to believe that he?d been slated for death. ?This is reckless.?

    Cyell?s orange blade spurted to life. ?It doesn?t matter who it is, just that we get rid of them. The Trade Federation viceroy has been dealt with. I thought I had the queen. Be smart, mate, step aside and let me finish the job.?

    Behind him, Padmé stiffened.

    ?No,? Obi-Wan denied. ?I may have done what the Council willed, but I will not do it without purpose. This girl has done no wrong.?

    Over the last year, as he moved in the shadows, Obi-Wan had learned to gather his strength. He coiled it like a serpent waiting to lash out. He released it now, one hand outstretched. Unseen, the Force whipped out, picking Cyell up and throwing him several meters away.

    Padmé had moved away from him at that moment, she now had the door activated and the two of them ran out into the hall. As the door sputtered closed, Obi-Wan took his lightsaber and plunged it into the door mechanism melting it to slag.

    ?I?ve got to get you somewhere safe. The throne room?? Obi-Wan asked.

    ?And then what?? the girl snapped. ?Your order wants me dead.?

    He?d been too short sighted, had seen Cyell as the only threat. Truthfully, he had no idea what the Council had ordered the other assassin to do. He wanted to believe that Cyell was behind these double murders. No reason. No rhyme. But where his heart needed it, the Force denied it. It was time he admitted the truth.

    ?We share the same fate, m?lady. Where can we go?? The other assassin would not be delayed for long.

    She hesitated, fear burning behind her brown eyes. ?There?there are tunnels that lead up to the main hanger of the palace. It exits out by the waterfall.?

    ?Are you armed?? She pulled out a blaster pistol from her flame colored robe. ?Good. Meet me before the exit.?

    Before he could turn and face his decision, she stopped him with a hand. ?What are you going to do??

    ?Stop him,? he said tersely. ?Now go. I?ll meet you.?

    She took off, her flame colored robes trailing behind her.

    Now Obi-Wan faced the consequences of his decision alone. The reality hit him square in the chest, took his breath away. He was a renegade, now a member of the Lost Twenty. About to battle a fellow Jedi, turning away from the only family he had ever known, he felt cleaner and more at peace than he had since he was Qui-Gon?s padawan.

    He sucked in a steadying breath and it tasted like spring.

    He didn?t have long to wait for Cyell. With a blast of the Force, the wall that had been part of Obi-Wan?s quarters crumbled and the other assassin leapt through the exit into the hallway. They rushed at each other. The energy blades hissing and spitting angrily at each other, bounced and writhed like ribbons in a tempest. Furrows dug deeply as their blades chipped into marble and stone.

    Obi-Wan drew on the Force as he had never done before, felt its humming approval as he was finally on the right path. Cyell attacked him with a vengeance, his movements short concise, whipping out at different angles, seeking to distract and strike all in one motion.

    They moved down the corridor until they came in front of a row of high arched windows, bathing them in persimmon light. Abruptly, the marble and beneath their fee
  24. serendipityaey Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jan 24, 2004
    star 4
    Wow, I love that Anakin came to the rescue! I love the three of them as a team. Still intrigued, still so feel for Obi, and still wish him some comfort... [face_love] but I'm sure it's not coming. Hmmmmm... what will Qui and Xan think of all this? And what is the council doing??

    Writing great as always, this might seem an odd comment, but I love the length of your updates as well, not too long, not too short, just right :D Looking forward to more :)
  25. charie Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Oct 6, 2007
    star 2

    Oh wow! I didn't see that coming! Awesome update! Thank you:)
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