Saga - PT Code Breaker: The Journal of Kash Ferros (DDC 2017) concluded 12/27

A nice new entry.
I like the interactions between Kash and Saleris, how they treat each other as brothers now. They both defenetly became more mature. Its good to see Kash doesn´t try to impress someone at the temple in an attempt to become a Jedi Knight as he originally wanted. Also nice to have a few clones appear. I´m looking forward how it will continue.

P.S Also Marfa was mentioned! Maybe Kash will be sent there after his time on Corusant.

 

Seeing a large city can be awe inspiring.

Having your own room is nice and I think Kash might have a problem going back.

 

I hereby echo Misty's statements - having own room is a big deal, plus Kash seems to be enjoying the non-Jedi aspect of Coruscant. Now, if he only knew that attached 'freshers are a thing of some other dwellings as well, e.g. jails...

And it's interesting that he's back to the place where he failed in the past and feeling peace. There is a Jedi in him, but there is no Jedi in him. It's so hard to tell at this point in time.

 

Thank you! Yes, Saleris and Kash look at each other with brotherly affection. They are eager to share this new experience with each other. And although Kash still longs to become a Knight, he is realizing that this isn’t what life has in store for him and he is learning to accept it. Marfa is one of the agricultural worlds that, like Salliche, hosts Agricorps Jedi farms. It would not be out of the question for a guy like Kash to visit Marfa.

Thank you for your reply! Kash is soaking in all these new things he is learning and the new view he has of the Jedi Temple. He was a bitterly disappointed child when he left; now he is a more confident young adult. He does like it there, but it isn’t home anymore so I think he will be okay with returning to Salliche when his assignment is over.

Thank you! Kash is seeing Coruscant, and in particular the Jedi Temple, with new eyes, so to speak. There are luxuries afforded to him here that he didn’t get to have before, but his status is different now too. He is more of a consultant than a learner. He has come to a peace with the idea that he may not be a swashbuckling Jedi Knight but that doesn’t mean he isn’t a “real” Jedi.

He is still a Jedi, he still firmly believes in the Force and he feels it all around him. But he doesn’t feel it or experience it in a way that most Jedi do. He is one of them due to his training and his beliefs, but he is alone in the way the Force acts through him. It’s all he has ever known, but his path in the Force as a Jedi is so different from what he expected it to be that he is still figuring it out.

 

Entry 8.

I’ve settled into a routine here at the Jedi Temple. It is, as I expected, a very busy place. Our area, which is near the library, isn’t so hectic. Of course, I never get to see any of the famous Jedi like Master Yoda (who isn’t teaching anymore; he’s a general now) or Master Skywalker or Master Secura. That’s okay. They are very busy with the war effort. It’s so important to protect our galaxy from the Separatists and their droid army. It must be awful to be on the front lines.

I’ve gotten friendly with Bo – he’s the um, chubby clone trooper. Bo says that he spent a season out with Master Ki-Adi-Mundi, fighting in his army. He told me that some days the fighting is so bad that he wonders if he really has the heart for it, but then he remembers that he is protecting people like me and those citizens who serve our Republic. Bo is a very friendly person. Sometimes after the shift is done he invites all of us to come to the galley. He loves to cook, so he makes us homemade meals. He says it’s a big upgrade from the nutrient packets that most of the clones receive while they are in the field. That doesn’t seem fair. Just because they are clones they have to eat “food” that gets squished out of a tube. Bo says those tube foods are disgusting and he hopes that we can work on something that might make their meals a bit more palatable. I get a little homesick for the wonderful meals I took for granted back at the farm. Bo asks me about the different foods we grow, and he shows me the proper way to prepare them. It’s very interesting.

The work I’m doing isn’t really all that hard. The really tricky stuff gets assigned to the Jedi Archivists, so my job is pretty much to watch and learn. I’ve had some free time to myself, so I’ve spent some of it in the Archives, just reading, or going around the meditation gardens, or picking up a class or two if the instructor is agreeable to letting me participate. The others look at me strangely, and I know I make them uncomfortable sometimes, but there’s not much I can do about that. I think I make them nervous. A real, live Agricorps member in their midst just reminds them that not everyone who tries will actually make it to knighthood.

Saleris, however, seems to be really fitting in. He’s been working with Master Si-Korran, who seems to feel that Saleris has potential. It’s true, Saleris has learned how to calm down and be more focused. I think the year on Salliche helped him out a lot. He listens much better and he has a better control of his temper. We don’t see each other as much as we’re used to; Saleris has his own quarters and so do I. But we work on the project together and we hang out together as often as we can. But he doesn’t have that much time for me because Saleris is making new friends at the Temple.

I wish I could talk with him more. I really wish I could talk with Master Quinnus, but that will have to wait. I know, it’s kind of lame, but I just feel better – more confident – when I can talk through these strange events that seem to happen to me.

Like my dreams, for instance. I keep getting the same kind of dream, about some girl I don’t even know. They’ve happened on and off for years, and I had that dream again last night. It’s been, what, five? Six months now since I dreamt of her? But there she was again. Each time I dream about her I learn a little more. This time I heard it, clear as can be:

She has eyes the colour of the sea.

I think the voice might have awoken me, the sound was so close and clear, as if someone bent over my bed and whispered in my ear.

She has eyes the colour of the sea.

Fat lot of good that does me. Which sea? The seas on Balaros are bright purple from all the algae in them. On Mustafar, the seas are made of molten lava. Are her eyes bright purple or glowing hot?

And even if I knew what planet it was, it doesn’t help me because what does the sea even look like? I’ve never seen the sea. Of course, I’ve seen holos and paintings but that isn’t the same. I hear that the waves in the sea move across its surface the way that the wind sometimes swoops over the growing grain. I wonder if the fleets of ships sailing into a harbor look like the rows of harvesters as they swing about in formation across a field. I know the variations of the sky, the way the sun hits the clouds and lights them with soft yellow and pink touches, or the dark blue that turns to black as night takes over. Does the sea change colour like that? Do her eyes change colour?

Sometimes in the temple, in morning meditation I tune out the master (I know, I’m bad) and I let my mind wander, and then, every so often, I get glimpses of her. The rustle of a dress; the gentle way she pulls her hair out of her face and tucks it behind her ear then slides her fingertips along her jawline. I know that she’s pretty but not gorgeous in a holodrama star way. I think she has a pretty smile. I never get a full picture, though. Always little pieces. All these little clues that I’m supposed to figure out or something. Like what exactly is the colour of the sea, and how I’m supposed to know what that looks like.

What are these dreams and visions trying to tell me? I know she must mean something to me. Or she will mean something to me in the future. I’m pretty sure she’s real and not just my imagination. I don’t know who she is, or why I should care about her. Maybe she’s my murderer. Maybe she’s my salvation.

 

This is such a good entry.

My favourite part would be the one about Kash never having seen the sea. Of course, there is nothing good about it, but it shows how bizarre, absurd things exist in the GFFA, too - one can go to different planets, yet not see a specific kind of a landscape. They have the hyperdrive, they have the things that won't exist in our lifetime, but at the same time, they can still miss the most obvious things. When everything around you is that big, you can't but ignore the particles - life itself is a big picture!

That said, it seems to be hard for Kash to focus on those dreams, because just like the sea - present on probably at least half of the GFFA's planets, that girl could be anywhere and life could arrange it so he never meets her. If she's not his murderer, and we know that she isn't, then he really needs the Jedi skills to figure out where she could be and how he could go and find her. Oh, the irony of fate... Since the work he's doing is "not that hard", perhaps he could do it now, on Coruscant? Use "She has eyes the colour of the sea." as your mantra, young man...

Bo seems like a very friendly fellow, but the fact that Clones are being treated the way they are, mindless cannon fodder, makes me sad each time. It's, in a way, a type of a killing-with-kindness thing: he wants those who don't lack food to have like his mates on the front line cannot. I am not sure if he's aware of it, probably not. And the guys think only with their stomachs.

It seems that Saleris, ironically, WAS meant to be on Coruscant. But given his problems from earlier, I'll be careful about this and I won't praise him for anything.

 

Nice chapter
I agree with Ewok Poet that its kinda intersting that Kash never saw the sea before. But I guess that can happen in the GFFA, Luke probably saw it for the first time when he was an adult too.
Seems Saleris and Kash become more and more separated while they are at the temple. I guess Saleris still hopes to become a knight.
I guess the girl he sees in his visions is Mirany. Her eyes having the color of the sea reminds me of Marfa, were the sea is a very important part of the culture.

 

Even on Earth the bodies of water are different colors and shades. Some are a deep blue, others a gentle green and so many inbetween colors; I know some appear to be clear and some almost a black color. So Kash is right: that color is very description. *end of sarcasm*

I'm not opposed to experimenting with new foods and spices, the kind you flavor food with not the other kind, and trying them out.

Hopefully the lessons will do both of them some good as well as the interactions.

 

I really like Master Quinnus. He's gentle and encouraging.

Love Kash's honesty, listing his strengths and weaknesses. Think he's too hard on himself. Even in the first four entries, you can see his growth: from I'm stuck here, this is not what I want, I want to do something meaningful, be important -- changes to -- Coruscant is crowded, artificial, can't see the stars etc., & maybe this is home. I think being looked up to and feeling there are things he's good at and respected for - that really goes a long way to making him feel comfortable with where he's at.
Entry Five has a real intriguing event in it. Who is this Silas & why did Kash interact with him in such a realistic fashion?
Final entries have Kash settling in and missing Salliche but also acclimating to the new project. And having glimpses of a certain significant other to be

 

Thank you! It’s true, though, that it could be possible he’s never been to a seacoast. He grew up on Coruscant and then he went directly to Salliche, so all he’s seen is a city and a farm. It’s just impossible to see all the details, like you said.

That girl in his dreams and visions is so undefined at this point that he isn’t really even aware of the fact that he is supposed to find her. The Force is giving him clues but he has to first be aware that they even ARE clues before he begins to put them together. And then he has to understand why he should care about her. He’s so indoctrinated to believe in “no attachments” that it wouldn’t occur to him that he’s supposed to fall in love with her. At least he will recognize her when he finally does find her.

Bo is a very nice person. He’s naturally nurturing and he shows his caring through providing good food for others. I guess you have a point, the people he’s feeding here at the temple really don’t need this good food; it’s his clone brothers on the front line who would benefit most. Good point.

Saleris is coming along well. Like Kash, Saleris is coming to a time he will either make the move to try to succeed as a Jedi or find a new place to use his talents. But most of Saleris’s problems came from his attitude, not from a difficulty with his Force skills, like Kash has. Being under Kash’s mentoring has helped Saleris become calmer and more patient. Ironically, hanging around with Kash is making Saleris more likely to become the full Jedi knight that Kash can’t ever be. Thanks so much for your thoughtful reply.

Thank you for your thoughtful response! It’s very true, this description was not very description, and Kash is rightfully annoyed with the Force for not being clearer. Kash is naturally a very friendly person. He is eager to learn more about Bo and the clone troopers, and they are happy to have his company.

Thank you for replying. I appreciate it! Kash is seeing the Temple with new eyes. The last time he saw it, he was leaving for the agricorps, a defeated and sad youngster. Now he is a young man and he is more willing to see opportunities and possibilities rather than dwell in his failures. He’s not only getting experience with the analytical side of the business, but he is exposed to people who have actually been in the war. All this time Kash has longed to go out and fight as a full Jedi knight; meeting people who have been on the battlefield may make him reconsider that wish.

I kind of visualize Chien Po from Mulan when I write Bo. (Which rhymes with “Po” – I just realized that.) A big, gentle guy who loves food. And Kash is a little “fish out of water” at the temple – he knows that his agricorps uniform is a constant reminder to the other residents of the temple of the fact that they, too, could wind up there. But the thing that will stick the most is the Force sending him the next clue about this mysterious girl with the sea-colored eyes. But the sea can be any color, and she could be anywhere! It’s frustrating and confusing to him. He will surely want to take another walk under in the olivaria orchard with Master Quinnus and try to figure this out. Right now none of it makes any sense to Kash.

That’s perfect – the sea looks like her. And when he finally finds her, he will know, and it will all make sense. Trust in the Force and let it guide you.

Thank you for your kind reply! Saleris has grown so much in the few years he has been in Salliche, and a lot of it is due to Kash’s mentoring of him. Kash is pretty even-keeled and he has managed to transfer some of his “laid-back-ness” to Saleris, with the result being that Saleris is now at an emotional stage where he could succeed where he had previously failed. Of course, ironically, that doesn’t help Kash any in his own dream of becoming a knight. But they are close, even calling each other “brother,” and Kash will support Saleris.

Yes, he is learning about Mirany. It’s far more than her eyes being sea-colored; her entire culture and her background are centered around the sea. She lives beside the sea, she takes great pride in her people’s nautical history. The Force is introducing her in subtle ways so that he will take the quest and find her. Even if he doesn’t quite know where to start just yet.

Bo’s relationship with Kash develops further in the next post. Kash has found an unusual friend and mentor, and the relationship shows Kash how truly diverse the universe is.

Thank you so much for stopping in with a response. I appreciate it!
Kash is figuring out who he is, and where he belongs. It’s so hard to break off with what you thought was supposed to be your destiny, especially when it’s been drilled into you about how special you are. Everything else must, but default, look like a failure. He is hard on himself because he feels like he let everyone down. But the galaxy is a big place and there is a role for everyone.

Silas is a pivotal person in Kash’s life, even if he only meets him for a few minutes. The memory of the encounter will last for the rest of Kash’s life. Since the other two stories are connected to this diary, you’ll see Silas again – much later. And yes, Kash is having glimpses of Mirany, and he is intrigued. Confused, but intrigued – not by her as a future lover but as a puzzle he needs to solve.

 

Entry 9

It’s already been a month and a half and I’m halfway through my assignment on Coruscant. Hard to believe it’s going so fast. I haven’t really had time to write anything.

We’re coming up with some pretty solid plans to make sure that the Republic Armies are properly supplied. It’s a much more complicated thing than you would think. Some planets are blockaded so the food has to be well preserved. Other planets have environments that can damage the food if it isn’t properly prepared. And all the different supply sources like Marfa and Alderaan and even Salliche have varying harvest schedules so you have to coordinate that too. It’s tricky, but I’m getting the hang of it. You know, on Salliche, all you see is your own farm. Now that I’m working on this assignment I have a better idea of how all this fits together.

I’ve been trying to get the Masters to consider making the clones’ food more appealing. I tried to argue that a well-fed soldier has better morale and is a stronger fighter. Some of the Masters are listening to me and making some improvements. For example, they have actual food boxes now and not nutrient paste in a tube. But not everyone thinks like I do. Master Noatt says that it doesn’t matter what clones like; they only live half as long as an actual human so it’s a waste of resources to feed them well. She’s of the food-in-a-tube-is-fine-for-a-clone camp. And besides, they were specifically engineered to go into battle with a genetic coding that makes them agreeable. Why introduce something to them that would be wasted on them? They can’t appreciate it. Her real fear is that if we start giving them luxuries (like real food) then the clones will start demanding decent housing and medical care and education and other expensive things. “They were created in a factory for a specific purpose – dying in a war so you don’t have to,” she told me once.

I don’t like this way of thinking. The clones I’ve met here are unique individuals. Like the three clones I work with. There’s Geor; he’s the guy with the beard that I mentioned earlier. He tells rowdy jokes, but he has this softness for little animals. He told me about this one time he found a baby avian and he nursed it back to health. Then there’s Surrex, the short haired clone – he’s almost shaved bald. He likes to watch limmie games in the rec hall. And of course, there’s Bo – he’s teaching me to cook.

The other morning, Bo took me to the spice market. (Not THAT spice – the kind you use to put flavor into dishes.) It was so early, but Bo said if you want the best goods, you have to be the first in line. I carried the shopping bag and tried to stay awake while he went from stall to stall, running the grains of spice through his fingers, feeling the texture. He said if it’s too mushy then the spice is old, and if it’s too brittle then they didn’t store it correctly so it won’t taste right. Then he took a little pinch and sniffed it (to ascertain the potency, he said), and once in a while he tasted a little spoonful.

At one point he gave me a little spoonful of a ground up, sandy-colored spice. It glittered with golden sparkles. “Sun spice from Naboo,” he announced with authority. “Use it on steaks, put it on kebaubbas. It’s delicious.”

I tried it; it tasted like heaven. We bought the sun spice and the spice merchant wrapped it up in white tissue and put it in a little box. Bo paid for the spice and I put it in the shopping bag with our other purchases, and then we went back to the Temple.

Bo and I went into the small kitchen assigned to our living area. We put on our cooking cover-ups and Bo took the vegetables and meat out of the storage compartments. He gave me the task of chopping up the vegetables while he prepared the meat for tonight’s dinner – kebaubbas with riz. At one point, just for fun, I levitated a truslet root and spun it in the air before gently dropping it onto the counter.

Bo laughed, then he smiled at me. “You’re such a talented young Jedi,” he said.

I shook my head. “No, I’m not. I can do magic tricks. That doesn’t make me a Jedi.” The reality of it made me sad. When this is all over, I am going back to Salliche, and I’ll never be a knight.

Bo frowned at me. “What do you mean? You have the heart of a knight. It doesn’t matter that you can’t perform all the exciting tricks that a Jedi master can do. Physical skill isn’t enough. I would much rather fight beside someone who understood why they were fighting and cared about the people they were fighting for than fight beside someone who only looked at the battle in terms of a win or a loss. Or worse, someone who fought only to advance their own ambitions.”

I was quiet for a minute. Then I spoke to him. “Doesn’t all that violence in the war bother you, Bo?”

He shrugged. “It helps to remember that the enemy I shoot is a droid army. It would be different if I had to shoot at actual sentients. Droids are nothing more than programmed machines. If you turn them off, they fall down. If you send them a new instruction, they are powerless to do anything but obey. They can’t really think or act for themselves.” He looked at me and smiled. “They’re just machines. They aren’t humans like you and me.”

Then he turned back to his meal preparation. “Of course, I would rather be in the kitchen than on the battlefield, but when I am called to serve I will serve my general proudly. It’s an honor to protect people like you.”

I really like Bo. I’m glad we are friends.

 

I don't know much about spices but I'm the type of person that when I cook while I do use measuring spoons and keep a general idea of how much I have put in the food in the past (some people in my house are grumpy about how much garlic I put in so I keep track for them) I don't have a set amount I put in and rely more on how it tastes and whether I like how it tastes. But different salts do taste different and need different amounts. If you're using table salt then you need a different amount than if you were going to use sea salt and if you're going to use Pink Himalayan Salt from a grinder you don't need much at all.

Would it really be so terrible if the Clones received some regular food every so often? Or to be treated with some decency, like a decent bed and barracks?

 

Nice new chapter
I like to see Kash bonding with the clones he is assignet too. That he sees them as humans and not just as biological droids like some others do. I liked how Kash tries to get the Jedi to supply the clones with actual food and not just paste. He's defently become a true Jedi who cares for the people around him.
Also nice to see him and Bo develop a friendship and spending time together.

And Marfa was mentioned again. I'm intrested how Kash will eventually get there.

 

Master Noatt's viewpoint is in stark contrast to Bo's wonderfully insightful and compassionate one. He gives everyone their dignity.

 

And this, ladies and gentlemen, can be applied to so many other things in life. Great motif you sneaked in here. It's like in that fairy tale with Goldilocks - whatever you're looking for has got to be "just right". Kash is not 100% in his element on Salliche, he's not 100% in his element on Coruscant. Some other place is "just right" for him, and some other surroundings.

Other than this, nothing to add, because Anedon pretty much covered it all.

 

WHAT DID I MISS ???

Oh boy oh boy. I tuned out of this story just at the right (or wrong) time, didn’t I? Kash is growing up into a wonderful young man (his approach to clones is very heart-warming) but how could I not have read the update with the vision of/interaction with Silas? Having just re-read But One Hour Mine, I’m pretty sure that the scene takes place on Marfa and that there’s a Mirany connection there – especially as she seems to appear in his later vision.


I was expecting that there was a deeper purpose when you chose to write these stories in parallel, and now I’m beginning to understand why. These are going to be the best-developed OCs on the JCF for a very long time. I can’t wait to see how this develops!

 

Thank you for your response! Spices are kind of fascinating, when you think of it. They are the colors on the palate for the art of cooking.

Well, if you start to treat them as humans, then you’ll have to recognize their humanity. Then you’d have to give them rights. And it would matter if they lived or died in the war- they wouldn’t be tools to be used and discarded anymore. Not everyone is on board with that.

Thank you! Kash is just a naturally friendly person, and he is curious about others. It doesn’t matter to him that Bo is a clone, he’s just someone else for Kash to get to know. Kash sympathizes with the clones. He’s used to being treated as “less than” himself, so he gets it. He wants them to be recognized for the work they do, even if it isn’t glamorous. In his compassionate way, he’s learning more about the spirit of being a Jedi than he would if he were out having adventures in the wars. Marfa and Salliche are both important agricultural support worlds for Coruscant, so it’s not unusual for Kash to think of them together. Of course, he has no idea yet how important Marfa will become to him.

Thank you for stopping in with a reply! In a way, though, Master Noatt is right – the clones are fighting because they are considered less valuable than naturally born sentients, and they are rapidly replaceable. Otherwise it would be people like Kash who are on the front lines. It’s cruel but it’s true. Master Noatt reflects the opinion that the clones are really just organic droids. Just as nobody would mourn the loss of a troop of droid, nobody would mourn the loss of a troop of clones the way they would mourn the loss of a troop of naturally born sentients. She has a detachment that makes their loss tolerable.

Thank you for your reply! I hadn’t thought of that, but you’re right. All of these people together are like the various spices, each doing their part to blend together to make just the right flavor, and each has his own purpose. We can’t all be Jedi knights, and that’s ok. You wouldn’t want a meal that was only flavored with salt. There needs to be a balance. Very insightful – thank you for that parallel.

Well, welcome back! That scene is kind of pivotal to all the interconnected stories but I won’t say more. Yes, Kash is growing up. He’s a chill dude, but he has compassion and empathy and that’s what truly makes him a Jedi, more than fancy tricks or cool moves. Bo is a good friend to him and helps him see beyond his lingering self-doubt and disappointment in himself.

Aw shucks! I’m blushing. Yes, they are written in parallel for a reason. In fact they all slowed down because I’m still trying to figure out the next chapter in the long fic without running too far ahead in this diary fic. I want them to reveal things about each other. When you read one it should remind you of something that happened in the other. This is, in the end, Kash’s story, even though the other long fic is from Mirany’s pov.

Thank you for your thoughtful response. The whole “Hey look I found some clones” thing has always been terribly morally ambiguous for me. The willingness to just accept this order of clones from Kamino without really investigating it was the classic Trojan Horse. But the idea that they grow so fast because they are so expendable, yet we know they develop unique personalities and that they have human emotions, doesn’t sit well. Master Noatt is here as the foil (obvious foil is obvious) to Kash – whereas Kash wants to help them develop their humanity, Noatt sees the clones only as disposable resources and doesn’t want to waste any money on something that is meant to be destroyed in battle anyway.

Bo is a good friend to Kash, especially since he has been getting some side-eye from the others in the temple (as he knew he would, but it still hurts). Kash is kind of hard on himself, seeing his lack of advancement as a personal failure. Bo is helping him to see that he isn’t a failure if he has the heart of a Jedi. Like Ewok Poet pointed out, it takes all kinds to create the balance that is needed.

 

Entry 10.

It’s been a little weird between Saleris and me lately. I mean like back on Salliche we got really close – we were best friends. We even called each other “brother.” But now don’t see him much at all with this project that we’re doing.

Or we’re not doing. I mean the project is getting done but Saleris and I aren’t doing it together. He comes in and does his work, and I do my work, and we’re still friends and all but it’s just not the same and that makes me kind of sad. That’s why I was a little surprised when he came to my quarters last evening.

He comes over and sits on my bed. (He bounces on it a little just to see if I have a better one than he does. I know what he’s up to.) We small talk for a little while, then he drops this on me.

“I’m going to test for my trials. If I do well enough, Master Si-Korran is seriously thinking of taking me on as a Padawan learner. He said I have a lot of potential to be a Guardian. Maybe even here in the temple.”

I didn’t know what to say for a moment. I mean, on the one hand I’m happy for him; this is what we’ve both been working toward for him. But on the other hand, I feel like there goes someone else blasting past me, leaving me behind. Finally I found my voice. “That’s - that’s really great, Sal.”

He blinked and his snout twitched. “Brother,” he said, “I haven’t forgotten you. I spoke to Master Si-Korran about you. I told him that you were the reason why I was able to get this far. You showed me how to control my temper and listen. Plus I know that you’ve been taking classes and participating in the temple activities while you’re here, training and studying.” A little smile crept on his face. “That’s why Master Si-Korran wants you to retest for your trials, too. You passed everything but the lightsaber construction. You can give it another try.”

I stared at him. “What? Are you serious?”

Saleris made this squeaky noise that he makes when he’s excited. “Yes! We will test together, like brothers.”

I was so surprised and happy I think I forgot to breathe. I grabbed his arm. “When? When will we be testing?”

“In two weeks.”

Two weeks. Ten days. That’s all the time I’ll have to prepare for the most important day of my whole life. I let out a deep sigh. Was I ready?

If not now, then when? I’m seventeen years old. I’m already almost too old to even be considered as a Padawan. This is really, truly, completely my last chance.

Then I started to think about what would happen if I actually made it through the trials. What would it even mean? I lay down on my back on the bed next to my friend. “But come on. Who would take me as their learner?” I asked quietly. I stared at the ceiling. This was too much to deal with. One moment I’m thinking, okay, I’ll be on Salliche for the rest of my life, but I can do that; I have good skills now and I can be very useful – the next moment I’m back to imagining myself with a master, travelling the galaxy and serving in the Clone Wars as a Jedi warrior.

Saleris cocked his head and blinked again. “There are a number of masters who are looking for padawans. Especially the masters who have been in battle.”

I frowned and stared at the ceiling some more. “What difference does that make, that they were in battle? Why would a master need another Padawan?”

Then it hit me. Oh.

I sat up.

“It’s not as bad as you make it sound, Big Brother,” Saleris said. “Think of it this way. We all have been called to serve the Force. You used to tell me that Master Quinnus told you that the Force has a different path for you. Maybe this is that path.”

I shrugged. “Maybe.”

Saleris patted my shoulder. “I want us to keep being brothers. I want us to take our trials together. Then we will both be padawans together.” He turned his bumpy green-skinned head to face me. “So, will you agree to take the test again? I am sure that you will succeed this time.”

I answered slowly. “Sure. I’ll do it.”

Saleris stood up and grinned. “I knew it. You’ll do fine! Tomorrow, we’ll eat together at meal and we’ll go over what we should do to get ready.”

I stood up too, and I walked him to the door of my quarters. “That sounds good.” I stopped for a minute. “You know what? I’ll make you some branerry cakes. My friend Bo showed me how.”

“I love branerry cakes!”

I laughed. “I know, Little Brother.”

We embraced and then Saleris left my quarters.

Once Saleris was gone, I sighed and ran my hands through my brown hair. I shook my head in disbelief. Here it was, my dream – the dream I’ve convinced myself would never happen, that I had given up on. I’m going to retest for my trials.

I walked over to my desk and took a small box from the shelf above my comm unit. My hands were nearly shaking when I opened it. Inside of the box was a gray cloth, and inside of the cloth was a green sparky stone.

My kyber crystal.

I got it years ago, when Master Yoda took a group of us to Ilum. I remember being amazed at the whole planet being covered in ice and snow – and it was beautiful. The sun wasn’t strong but it still made the ice crystals of the planet’s surface glitter like jewels. All I could think of was if this was how beautiful the ice crystals were, imagine how beautiful the kyber crystals in the caves would be. We went down and we were on our own. We were given only a few hours to attune ourselves to the special crystal that would be ours.

I think I was supposed to be overcoming some kind of fear when I participated in The Gathering. But really, I wasn’t afraid. Almost as soon as I was sent to go off into those dark, creepy caves, I knew it would be all right. That girl, the one I’d been seeing in my visions since forever, it was like I was doing this for her. I closed my eyes and I saw myself giving it to her. So therefore, if I was going to give my crystal to her, then obviously I was 1. Going to find a crystal, and 2. Going to survive this task. And off I went.

I was eight years old and I remember thinking why I would ever give some dumb girl my crystal? (For the record, I no longer think girls are dumb.) Whatever the reason, it worked and a few moments later I heard the crystal humming to me. I followed the sound, and about three hours later, deep in the caves, I saw the crystal that sits in my safekeeping box right now.

I pulled back the gray cloth and picked up the kyber crystal. Two weeks from now, I will be assembling my lightsaber. I held it to the light and watched the way it shimmered. We were taught that a lightsaber is a Jedi’s life, and the kyber crystal is the heart of the weapon. This is the key to everything.

 

Fantastic update. First it seems like Saleris and Kash have drifted apart, and Kash is sad about that. Then it turns out Sal has been thinking of Kash all along and wants to include him in the biggest moment of his life and also give Kash a second chance at his dream. Wonderful depiction of the mixed emotions: I'm about to get what I've been longing for. What if no one wants to take me on as a Learner? What if I don't succeed? Somehow under it all, he may be just as discombobulated about succeeding. That would mean big changes. I do feel Kash's eventual readiness and confidence, though.

 

Intresting chapter.
Nice to see Kash is going to get a second chance to become a Jedi knight. I also like how he and Saleris care for each other. Also intresting to find out more about Kash's Kyber crystal and how he found it. Seems his connection with Mirany was there from the beginning. I'm excited to see if Kash will pass the test.
Nice Update

 

It looks like Kash is at a crossroads. On one hand he seems content with his position but on the other hand he still wants to be a Jedi Knight.