Saga Coming Home- A Short Obi/Qui AU Drama COMPLETE 12.30

Finally Obi begins to come back to his self.
Not his former self yet, but to his self.

 

he's up!

 

MMmmmm..... anyone need any writing inspiration, just peruse the DWL dvd and it should do the trick.

Oh wait. Star Wars. Yes. I must be in Star Wars frame of mind....

*thinks of him ripping his shirt off*

Well, I guess that image could be universal.

I know what the next couple of posts should entail, so I plan on having another out soon. We have a vacation at school from Thursday to Tuesday, so there'll be some more available time for writing. Of course, I need to find enough stuff for our yard sale so I can pay my mom and dad back for buying me the dvd...

 

no time for individual replies. I'm making dinner--not a good idea, since I'm known for ruining those pre-made cookies where all you have to do is tear them off and sit them on a pan.


---

He should have been prepared for it.

After endless, grinding hours, surviving the tormented days locked away from the outside world--crudely torn from humanity, Obi-Wan should have expected it.

Of course he recognized the pain of each lash, the blows sharp and quick, knowing the effects would last far longer.

But he had not, perhaps due to clammy bouts with delirium or the feverish throes of self-delusion, realized the falling whip and its malevolently skilled wielder took care in assuring the agony would echo.

To create ripples of memory embedded in his skin.

Obi-Wan touched a hand to his chest, where a thin, diagonal scar, once angry red, was faded to only a shade darker than his normal ivory pigment.

Bacta did wonders. Any Jedi, of any age, could attest to that.

Yet it couldn't reverse time, nor erase the crucial days between injury and healing.

He would carry these snaking wounds, these testaments of his greatest suffering, forever.

Quelling a wince, he pulled off the baggy sleep tunic, watching as his mirrored image revealed a half-stranger.

Someone he'd surely seen before, but in a different place, in a different phase of life and level of reality.

Obi-Wan remembered the chest, muscled and dusted with fine, nearly colorless hairs. But he couldn't recall such uncomfortable prominence of ribs, the rows jutting out and hinting at prolonged deficiency any more than he distinguished the morbid criss-crossing of thread-like scars covering them.

He looked down, running his fingers along the rack of bones.

And felt flashing of that hunger, intense and aching within his starved body.

So easily, Obi-Wan knew, he could let himself be transported back there, reassume the shivery panic that would keep him safe from the threat of poisons.

Slowly, his eyes lifted to his reflection.

Yes.

Oh yes, I would be safe. A skeleton so nicely sheltered and shielded.

He exhaled, close-mouthed.

No wonder he's been trying so hard.

Obi-Wan saw a wet glimmer in one clouded eye. He blinked rapidly in response.

There was another jarring surprise?

When had the swirl of azure and emerald in his eyes been reduced to haunting shadow, sheer against bleak, overwhelming gray?

Around the same time they got these black smudges under them. He wagered, quirking his lips hopelessly to one side.

A half-stranger. He could still see traces of the Knight of his former existence, the man who had faced death on numerous occasions, but had never felt its cold, stale breath too closely to his soul.

But that man couldn't be completely resurrected, for how could he ever forget the awful sensation of oblivion's desiring sigh? The all-too-tempting promise of eternally extinguished pain?

I can't. He grabbed for his garment, growing too cold as the air conditioning began another cycle.

Maybe?Maybe I don't want to.

---

 

Oh, oh...this is not good. Obi-Wan is wishing for oblivion? Not good. Qui-Gon better show up fast.

 

Some fresh, hot cookies would help

 

Hope he can get past this...even if he can't ever forget, hopefully he can come terms with it enough to continue moving forward. Qui-Gon's love and support will hopefully have a major effect on his decision to keep moving forward.

~Bek

 

How horrible to look into the mirror and see the changes brought not only to his body but to his soul by the ordeal he suffered. Hopefully Qui-Gon is nearby.

 

This is fantastic!!!

 

**Update numero three! That's probably it for me today, but I might start a new entry for 'If I Were...'. That one usually takes a while, though. It can be very tricky. **

diane Is he wishing for oblivion? We'll know soon enough...not quite yet though. I've gotta torture you, since you find such pleasure in leaving us dangling in your fic.

PK You're just plain evil. I like that.

Bekah_K Hopefully Qui-Gon will help!

Sheila Yeah, he's nearby, but how much of a difference will that make? (Actually, I'm asking myself that right now, while considering where this freakin' thing is going! )

tvdunlop Thank you!


---

Obi-Wan stopped in front of the door.

It was open, forgotten in the struggles of that first dreadful, hazy night.

He trailed his hand down the slightly battered frame, remembering when the smooth wood was marked by short, neat slashes of a pen and scribbled dates.

There were countless times when Obi-Wan doubted his place in his Master's life, when he couldn't accept that maybe he could be worthy of such elite tutelage.

But, however distanced they were, their link remained, even when it felt dormant within his heart.

And, there was this.

He smiled faintly.

Obi-Wan pressed his fist against his forehead, jotting down a barely legible series of numbers, nibbling absently at his bottom lip. Sitting in the corner of his dimly lit room, atop his bed with back propped by the wall, the boy stared at the gargantuan equation with unmasked frustration.

"Seventy one??No, that can't be right." He mumbled under his breath.

The door slid open, and Qui-Gon strode inside the small space, surveying the busied youth with a fond expression. "Still working at that?"

Obi-Wan sighed. "Yeah. I'm beginning to wonder if Master Tslaw isn't a Sith in disguise."

The man chuckled. "A common suspicion, I'm sure."

Obi-Wan grinned before returning to the text.

But Qui-Gon's eyes remained on him. He could feel their weight, and succeeded in ignoring it for scant moments. His studious resolve crumbling, he set the stack aside. "Do you think we could spar?" Normally, he wouldn?t offer such a suggestion, but his weary defeat against the equation was forcing him to be forward.

Qui-Gon clapped his shoulder. "Perhaps later. Come with me."

Obi-Wan obeyed, standing and following him into the corridor. They didn't move beyond close proximity to his room, and he frowned. "Master?"

Qui-Gon just smiled his soft, rare smile, the kind that defined the lines around his eyes, and set them aglow. "I wanted to start this on your birthday, but I couldn't wait that long."

He would be turning fourteen in three days, and Obi-Wan laughed with confused curiosity. It wasn't often a novice apprentice witnessed the tables turned, the Master displaying such ridiculous impatience!

Qui-Gon produced a mechanical ink pen from his tunic, then braced his apprentice's shoulders with two large, gentle hands. "Now, stand about there." He instructed.

Obi-Wan took little, shuffling steps until he was against the right side of the doorframe.

"Okay." Qui-Gon murmured, stilling the Padawan's head with a hand against a smooth cheek. He grazed the pen over the spiky line of hair, drawing a line across the wood. "There."

Obi-Wan backed away and watched Qui-Gon sign the day and year.

Then, the man turned to him. "On your birthday, from now on, we'll see how much you've grown." He reached out and teased the cleft of Obi-Wan's chin. "If I can ever wait that long."

It was a tradition both Master and Padawan cherished. The last performance of the ritual was only a few months before Naboo.

Obi-Wan's eyes misted. White paint covered them now. Every milestone, sloshed over with thick, concealing coats.

"The docents did that while we were en route from Naboo." Qui-Gon explained, strolling over to him, his long hair damp and sleeked out of his face

 

"I would've stopped them, had I known." He told him in a subdued voice.

"This isn't my apartment with you anymore." Obi-Wan shrugged, hoping he had successfully downgraded the extent of his disappointment--in Qui-Gon's perspective. "There's no need for them."

"There was no need to be rid of them, either." Qui-Gon touched his shoulder.

I think Qui-Gon sensed Obi-Wan's disappointment that the markings had been painted over. I liked that Qui subtly assured him that he missed them too.

~Bek

 

What a nice memory of Qui-Gon marking Obi-Wan's height on the doorframe. It being painted over was very sad and indicative of the way Obi-Wan left his life when Anakin entered it. Lovely post LE, always love your flashbacks.

 

Me, leave you with a cliffie...noooo, not me!!!


Loved this post. I do this with my kids. We have a stick that has the measure of the kids on two sides. We used to use the doorjam but realized that we couldn't take it with us. It's so sweet that Qui-Gon couldn't wait until Obi-Wan's birthday to make the first mark!

How sad that they painted over the door. I might have gotten out the paint-remover and gently taken off the layers until those marks were revealed!!!

I'm sure wherever you take this fic, it will be wonderful.

Lovely!!!

 

I'm evil? You're the one who burnt the cookies!

 

Very lovely. I too liked how Qui reassured Obi he didn't like that the marks were gone. Perhaps a home renovation project they could take on together?

Great job!

Shaindl

 

I would reply individually, but I can't stay on long. Plus, I think I've gotten a headache from writing this.


---

Obi-Wan watched as his former Master turned, pulling items from the cooling unit, heating the stove.

Despite the heaviness in his heart, his mouth quirked in a smile. I must really be in dire shape. His cooking actually seems half-way appetizing.

Suddenly, Qui-Gon's head snapped up, turning slightly toward the main room. "You know, Obi-Wan, our bond has been quiet since your Knighting--but it's not gone."

Obi-Wan grinned, a ghost of a blush coming over his face. "What? I'd think you'd take that as a compliment."

Qui-Gon snorted, returning his eyes to the stove.

For a few minutes, Obi-Wan simply sat against the beaten softness of the couch, gathering enough energy to stand.

Then, with a last look at Qui-Gon, he slipped into the Padawan quarters.

He stood in the center of the room. The carpet was exactly the same, of course. A pale color tan, with thick loops that his feet sunk into.

His bed had been under the window, in the middle of the back wall. Now it was pushed to the corner, beneath a long shelf of awards, medals and trophies, and a canopy of shadow.

Obi-Wan took a few steps toward the couch, draped in dark, clouded sapphire where it had once been light azure. But the linens still fell in the same way, the bed still looked like the one of his apprenticeship. He smiled, lowering himself with careful slowness to the edge, only too aware of the fragile health of his body. A band of warm sunlight streaked across the small room, spilling over onto him, chasing away the gooseflesh that had risen on his chilled skin.

He ran his hand in a circle on the bed.

Gods?ten years've passed?and after a few minutes in this room I feel like a kid again.

Of course he'd spent his first few cycles in the creche, then the next handful in the initiate dorms. Those were the places where he played, where he explored, where he made friends and kept them.

But this was where he found solace from the ever-increasing rigors of his training. Where he came when the Universe seemed to close in on him, smothering him, squeezing the air from his labored lungs--or when his Master was so far away that it felt like all he had was space?too much.

He would gladly have given his last breath to hear words from the man then. Any words at all. They didn't need to be encouraging, bright sentiments. Hell, a syllable without the taint of indifference would have been enough. But none would come, and eventually Obi-Wan would forfeit, returning to the loving sheets of this bed. Burrowed beneath the covers, head cushioned, he could drift from reality, where his connection with Qui-Gon was a stilted, impersonal necessity, bordering on silence?He could imagine a life where he was more. Where he meant more.

Obi-Wan blinked, realizing he'd been staring, unseeing, at the ripple he'd made in the duvet. With a pale, slightly trembling hand?

Qui-Gon smoothed out the wrinkles in the powder blue comforter, while similar creases remained stubbornly at his brow, chiseled during the last few hours.

Obi-Wan licked his lips slowly, as though the exertion were draining him of his strength.

Perhaps it was.

The Padawan gazed up with hopelessly watered eyes at his mentor, seated at the side of the bed. Although his vision was blurred a bit by the stinging moisture, he could decipher the composition of the haggard countenance. His thin lips, pursed tersely, as normal, surrounded by a neat beard. The regal nose, no less dignified by the break down the bridge. And his eyes?Caught in a pool of amber light from the dim glow rod, they looked as though they quivered?

Clearing his throat, Obi-Wan mustered a tired smile. "I-I'm fine now, Master." Force, how that hurt. The letters scraped along his esophagus and he batted down a grimace. He wouldn't let himself appear weak in front of him?If he just blinked a few times, some of the focus returned?And if he he

 

Yay! I love this one.

 

Thanks.

 

Why are you making me cry tonight?

 

Cuz it's just so darn fun.

 

Hello?

**holds hand to her ear**

**hears echo**

 

Whoops. Read and didn't review. Me sorry.

But you know I'm ALWAYS reading whenever you post...

Great job! Maybe the realisation that he's an adult too and not the Padawan anymore will help him get over everything. But for his Master, I suspect that he'll always be that little boy.

Lovely post - can't wait for more!

Shaindl

 

What? You were a temporary LURKER? [face_shocked]

I guess I'll just trash 'Mists' I'm so darn upset.

 

Sorry!!
I would also be very very guilty of Lurking on this...well, actually ALL of your stories...
I apologize!
I love them all.... I just wish I always had time to review them!!

 

Sorry, I got home late last night from work and had a huge headache but I'm here now...

That was so sad, that Obi-Wan didn't recognize how much Qui-Gon cared for him when he was a child! His self-doubt colored his relationship.

I liked In that?kind voice, almost?
Obi-Wan risked shutting his eyes. Almost parental. And 'almost' certainly didn't mean it was, did it? He exhaled carefully. That was so sad...

And Obi-Wan realizing that his old room is Anakin's was sad but appropriate!

Good job.