Beyond - Legends Consider the Possibilities: A SW/Stargate HUMOR Crossover

Note*: SG-J consists of the local Jedi: Anakin Skywalker (Post Return of the Jedi, how this occurred will be explained in ?Journals of a Jedi Knight: Naroko Chiston of Alderaan?), Jedi Knight Naroko Chiston, Padawan Arianna Esdel, Jedi Knight Obi-Wan Kenobi, and Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn, who just happens to rival Daniel in the coffee-addiction department.



A variety of representatives from a number of worlds get together on a neutral planet. Consider the possibilities?


- SG-1 arrives first. Daniel immediately wanders off in search of artifacts, triggers a booby-trap, and has to go back to Earth for immediate medical attention.

- Apophis orders SG-1 shot.
- The Tok?Ra immediately grow tunnels and head underground.
- The Tollan reassert the fact that they are pompous bigheads who won?t share their technology.
- Nirh?ti attempts to reconfigure the DNA of everyone who crosses her path.
- Oma Dessala arrives and speaks in metaphors to anyone who attempts to communicate with her.
- Teal?c and Tanith start an all-out, knockdown brawl that no one wants to break apart.
- The Abydonians never show up because they claim the ?Gate address isn?t on their map.
- SG-3 arrives and starts shooting every Goa?uld in sight.
- Bray?tac incites a rebellion amongst the Jaffa.
- SG-J arrives and stops SG-3 from shooting the Goa?uld.
- Colonel Makepeace blames SG-J for messing up his perfect shot at Anubis.
- Anubis tries to collect compensation for attempted murder.
- Lords Yu and Baal argue over who?s fleet is bigger.
- Tanith sues Teal?c for a broken arm.
- The Kelownans threaten to drop a Naquadria bomb if everyone doesn?t get along.
- Everyone ignores the Kelownans.
- The Nox arrive, take one look around, and promptly turn invisible.
- Chronos refuses to show up because ?the accommodations are not good enough for someone of his stature?.
- Osiris lobbies for Anubis?s return to the stature of System Lord, and is ignored.
- The Tok?Ra inserts spies into the ranks of every Goa?uld in sight.
- The Asguard nearly give everyone food poisoning because they?re catering.
- O?Neill blows his knee trying to stay away from Apophis?s Jaffa, and limps back to the SG-C for immediate physical therapy.
- Tanith loses his lawsuit against Teal?c, and tries to get an appeal.
- The NID show up and begin stealing Tollan technology.
- The Tollan leave in a huff.
- SG-2 is sent to try and convince the Tollan to come back.
- The Russians show up and demand Naquadaa generator technology.
- Arianna Esdel trips and inadvertently knocks Colonel Maybourne into an activating wormhole.
- All of the present SG-C teams laud Arianna Esdel as a hero for getting rid of Maybourne. Now if she can only do the same to Senator Kinsey?
- Nirh?ti is shoved into her own DNA reconfiguration device, is transformed into a hideous monster, and leaves in shame.
- Daniel returns and begins hunting for coffee.
- A gigantic yelling match ensues after Daniel raids Qui-Gon?s coffee supply.
- The Chinese don?t know what?s going on, but blame the Goa?uld.
- The Arab contingent ignores the Goa?uld completely and begins drilling for oil.
- Senator Kinsey insults Apophis and gets shot.
- Apophis claims he thought Kinsey was a member of SG-1.
- The U.S. government sues Apophis, and wins 100 pounds of Naquadaa.
- Apophis launches a full-scale assault on Earth.
- The Asguard stop Apophis, who leaves in disgust.
- The Russians become very dissatisfied with the proceedings and attempt to nuke the U.S. contingent.
- SG-J deflects the Russian nuke back into their own camp.
- The Russian government sues SG-J.
- Anakin Skywalker convinces the Russian government that it was a Goa?uld attack.
- The Russians attack the Goa?uld.
- The Goa?uld pound the Russians into the dirt.
- Oma Dessala helps the Russians Ascend.
- The Russian government sues Oma Dessala for ?kidnapping?
- SG-2 returns unsuccessful from talking to the Tollans.
- Daniel returns to Earth to find coffee to appease Qui-Gon.
- Seth ap

 

Very naughty and very insane!!!!

This I like, but who's Arianna Esel? SGC or SW??!!

 

Had me in stitches.