Conversations and Thoughts: Updated 4/9 "My Wedding Day;" Collection now complete!

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction Stories--Classic JC Board (Reply-Only)' started by stacysatrip, Mar 1, 2003.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. qingauk Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 12, 2002
    star 4
    What a great job at completing the voyage to Tatooine! It all makes so much sense. Keep up the good work.. can't wait for her reaction to his side of the story!!
  2. stacysatrip Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 20, 2002
    star 4
    Quick replies today!

    Darth_Lex As always, thank you. You know I love my foreshadowing. That's why the line in AotC "Why do I get the feeling you're going to be the death of me," is one of my favorites in the film.

    Leia_Naberrie Welcome, and I'm glad you liked it. I'd like you to expound upon what you think was inconsistent about any characterizations, because I certainly don't want the characters to be that. I do think I've stayed pretty true to them throughout this whole project. As far as bonding between Padme and Beru, I didn't get to see Beru enough on screen to really get a feel for what she's like, and these viggies are really more centered around Ani and Padme's relationship as it develops. But I agree it would be nice to see a few things written about Padme and Beru's relationship, especially since (presumably) she entrusts her child to the woman later on. There was a bit in the AotC novel about this very scene, but all it said was Padme couldn't really talk to Beru because she was too worried about Anakin, so there again, you don't get a lot of info on the relationship between these two young ladies.

    tun_dot_com Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it.

    qingauk Thanks. The way it will be written (as far as what's in my head) is the 3rd person POV, and will pretty much skip the whole confession (that stands alone in my opinion, and does not need changed) and go straight to where we see her comforting him and him breaking down. You might see some romantic sparks fly, too ;).
  3. MissPadme Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 9, 1998
    star 4
    Nice to get these events from Padmé's perspective.

    --MissPadme
  4. Lady__Skywalker Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 22, 2002
    star 3
    Very well done! (as usual)
  5. stacysatrip Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 20, 2002
    star 4
    MissPadme Yes, it is. I think it really helps us see that she deeply cares for Ani, that she doesn't just say "I truly, deeply love you," out of the blue. I think all of this stuff, especially from her POV, really explains how she had been "dying a little bit each day since he came back into her life."

    Lady_Skywalker Thank you!

    I'm working on "When I'm Gone" right now, but I want it to be very good, and very descriptive, as I feel it is really the pivotal moment, not only in their relationship, but in Anakin's path. I'll try to have it up by Monday or Tuesday.
  6. DarthBreezy Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Jun 4, 2002
    star 6
    Still very nicely told...

    DB<< hasn't been feeling up to her usual as of late, please don't take my abbriviated praise as a slight...

    Thouroughly enjoying

    ;)
  7. stacysatrip Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 20, 2002
    star 4
    Thanks, DB, and I hope you feel better very soon!


    "When I'm Gone" should be completed today and posted sometime tomorrow.
  8. stacysatrip Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 20, 2002
    star 4
    Well, here it is guys, the PIVOTAL moment. I hope you enjoy it. I changed my mind and wrote it from Ani's POV, them Padme's.

    ***********************************************************************

    When I?m Gone

    Note: This vignette is greatly inspired by the song ?When I?m Gone? by the band 3 Doors Down. I think it perfectly captures the notion that, starting with the Tusken massacre, Anakin?s downward spiral begins. I?ll post the song, then the scene will follow.

    There?s another world inside of me that you may never see.
    There?s secrets in this life that I can?t hide.
    Somewhere in this darkness there?s a light that I can?t find
    Well maybe it?s too far away, or maybe I?m just blind.


    Your education X-Ray cannot see under my skin
    I won?t tell you a damn thing that I could not tell my friends
    Roaming through this darkness I?m alive but I?m alone
    Part of me is fighting this, but part of me is gone

    So hold me when I?m here, right me when I?m wrong
    Hold me when I?m scared, and love me when I?m gone
    Cause everything I am, and everything in me
    Wants to be the one you wanted me to be
    I?ll never let you down, even if I could
    I?d give up everything if only for your good
    So hold me when I?m here, right me when I?m wrong
    Hold me when I?m scared, I won?t always be there
    So love me when I?m gone


    ************************************************************************

    I cannot believe what I am hearing myself say as the words leave my mouth.


    ?I killed them. I killed them all. They?re dead. Every single one of them. Not just the men. But the women. And the children too! They?re like animals, and I slaughtered them like animals! I hate them!?


    As long as I kept it inside, I could put it out of my mind, pretend that it didn?t happen, that it had all been a dream, that it wasn?t me who had committed this atrocity.


    But it was me. At the time, I felt as though I was outside of my body, watching myself. I heard Master Qui-Gon?s voice, imploring me to stop what I was doing, but I had ignored it. When I was killing those Tuskens, butchering them, eviscerating their village, I felt?alive. I tasted a power that was as black as the Tatooine night, but that filled me with an energy I dare not describe.


    Unfortunately, when it was over, nothing had changed. It had not brought my mother back to me. All I had done was?.lose a piece of myself, I fear.


    The look on Padmé?s face is one of sheer terror and disgust. But I had to tell someone what I had done, someone whom I believed would understand and reserve judgement. I sink to the floor in agony, and she calmly sits beside me. She tells me that to be angry is to be human. I?m sure she believes that is comforting to me, but it is not.


    I?m a Jedi. I know I?m better than this. And I tell her so, as I break into a fit of tears.


    I spend a solid hour wrapped in her arms, as she holds me and strokes my neck and hair and rocks me back and forth?.like a mother comforting a sick or frightened child. Why is she doing it? I don't know. I don't deserve her sympathy or her understanding. I do not deserve her.


    Something I told her years ago runs through my mind.


    I?m a person, and my name is Anakin.


    Does a ?person? do such terrible things? Why do I feel as though a part of my humanity has vanished, never to be found again? I can't speak, all I can do is mourn. Mourn for the loss of my mother, mourn for the loss of my innocence, mourn for the guiltless Tusken women and children who were destroyed by my own hand.


    Padmé sings to me a lullaby in her native Nubian tongue. I don't understand the words, but it does bring me some comfort. She brings me comfort, and as I lie here in this garage trying to find solace in her embrace, I realize that she may be the only thing in this universe that can firmly anchor me to the light. For the first time, I also fully understand the meaning of Master Yoda?s warning from all those years ago.


    Fear is the path to the Dark Side.
  9. Dally Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 2, 2001
    star 4
    Oh my, that is so sad, and perfectly in character. I think that you have captured the characters' motives and feelings wonderfully.
  10. Darth_Lex Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 17, 2002
    star 4
    Wow. :) :_| I think you're right on here -- Anakin is filled with remorse and Padme knows she needs to help him but has no idea how. And they're both scared by what he's done.

    Eek. This was very difficult to read.

    Great job! :D :D
  11. tun_dot_com Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Dec 5, 2002
    star 2
    Oh my...That was such a nice, viggy. It protrayed the feelings they might have had during that scene extremely well. I really love how some people can take an already powerful and moving scene, and make it even moreso. Truly wonderful, the mind of a fan is. ;)
  12. Lady__Skywalker Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 22, 2002
    star 3
    That was excellent. I sensed a bit of foreshadowing, but I don't know if that was intentional.
  13. qingauk Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 12, 2002
    star 4
    You nailed it again. The mental torment is truly there for both. We know her decision is to love him but, yes, there had to be some fear on her part for what he did!!
  14. stacysatrip Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 20, 2002
    star 4
    Dally Thank you. I try!

    Darth_Lex and qingauk You can see the horror in Padme's eyes when Ani confesses to her (IMO, Portman's finest moment in the film, or one of them). I remember reading a Kevin Smith commentary on AotC and how he "bought into" the relationship, and he described the look on Padme's face by saying "Holy Christ, I'm in love with a human timebomb." So true, so sad.

    tun_dot_com Thank you. You know, these viggies have gotten more angsty as they go. I'm going to have to come up with a cheery one.

    Lady_Skywalker My foreshadowing is always intentional. To me, foreshadowing is the most powerful tool in literature. I love it. That's why one of my favorite lines in TPM is "I don't think so. No one can kill a Jedi." Actually, that's irony mixed with foreshadowing, but you get my point.

  15. MissPadme Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 9, 1998
    star 4
    I think you did a good job inferring their thoughts from their actions/reactions in the film.

    --MissPadme
  16. stacysatrip Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 20, 2002
    star 4
    Thank you MissPadme.

    I'm going to try to work on the next post this evening. I need to come up with something that's a little less angsty and ominous, so I might have to ditch chronological order (but, I might not). But there's only one post to go until "I truly, deeply, love you." This is because I doubt there was very much time for conversing or thinking while they were on Geonosis.
  17. geo3 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 29, 2002
    star 4
    Wow - I went away for one short week only to find that you have truly been prolific! And I can see why - your vignettes are clearly inspired. Each one is a little gem that builds on the one before. As always I enjoy reading them as a way to deepen and heighten my experience of the films. Very, very well done - keep up the good work!
  18. stacysatrip Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 20, 2002
    star 4
    geo3 Thank you, and welcome back. Yes, I'm trying to get one done every other day. Unfortunately, our AotC adventure is nearing then end (except of course, the huge gap of time between Padme running to Ani in the hangar and them deciding to marry).


    Hold on to me

    Summary: The events of the flight from Tatooine to Geonosis, as Anakin tries to come to grips with his mother?s death and Padmé tries to help him. For some reason, I really struggled with this one, so IMO it's not one of my best. But I hope you enjoy anyway.


    Anakin did not approve of this idea. He had already made great concessions regarding Padmé?s safety when he agreed to bring her to Tatooine with him (though he was grateful she had been there), but now they were heading for Geonosis, defying Master Windu?s orders, to try to save Obi-Wan. Padmé?s steely determination amused Anakin, but now that they were in flight, he was gripped with fear. He did not know what dangers they might face on that strange world, and the thought of something happening to Padmé, the thought of being unable to protect her, began to unravel the young Jedi?s nerves.


    Ten years ago, he had witnessed just how capable Padmé Amidala was of fending for herself, but the memory of the firefight in that hangar brought Anakin more anxiety than comfort. As he set the coordinates for the jump to hyperspace, he inhaled and exhaled rhythmically as he tried to clear his mind.


    Padmé entered the cockpit and observed Anakin lost in thought but obviously full of tension. She lowered her eyes sadly and swallowed the omnipresent lump that had taken up residence in her throat as she relived the past two days in her mind. Anakin had just buried his mother, and now he was headed to Geonosis to try to rescue his (for all intents and purposes) father. The thought of Anakin possibly losing the two most important people in his life within the span of a day made Padmé?s stomach churn. Furthermore, she was gravely concerned about Anakin?s emotional well being; other than confessing to her that he had slaughtered those Tuskens, he had not spoken to her at length about his feelings. She was sure he was attempting to be an astute Jedi and suppress his fear and anger and grief, but she knew that, for Anakin, concealing his emotions was like trying to conceal a Rancor behind a pebble.


    Silently, Padmé sat in the co-pilot?s seat and examined the gages on the instrument panel. Anakin appeared not to notice her, and the two sat for several minutes, silently staring off into space. Momentarily, Padmé heard a muted sniffle, and discreetly raised her eyes to study Anakin. His face was slightly obstructed from her view, but she noticed him subtly raise his hand to his face and wipe both of his eyes.


    He was crying.


    ?Ani?? she entreated as she leaned in to him. ?Are you?are you all right?? She immediately cringed at the absurdity of her question; of course he was not all right.


    At the same time, both of their minds were drawn to a time, ten years ago, aboard a Nubian starship, when she had asked him that exact question. And at the time, his sorrow had been for the same reason; he missed his mother.



    ?I?ll be fine,? he said flatly as he turned his head away so that all she could see was the back of it.


    Padmé?s heart sank. ?Please, Anakin, talk to me. I?I want to help you,? she said.


    ?I can?t,? was his curt reply. ?Not now?I just?I can?t.?


    Padmé felt a stab of hurt in her heart, and wondered if this was how Anakin must have felt when she had tried so desperately to push him away in the previous weeks. She was immediately filled with regret for her behavior at the Lake Retreat; maybe if she had just allowed Anakin in to her heart instead of fighting to lock him out, things would be different, and he would not have?.


    She nodded sadly, only half-aware that he could see her despite being turned away. ?I?m sorry, Ani. I?m sorry. I do not wish to?.never mind. I can see you need some time alone," stammered as she rose to leave t
  19. qingauk Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 12, 2002
    star 4
    Stacy,
    That was a very touching moment. I enjoyed it. I enjoy reading what you have done to share your ideas on 'filling the gaps' not seen in the movie or in the book. Keep up the good work.
    Q
  20. Darth_Lex Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 17, 2002
    star 4
    As always, this is a wonderful scene. Two particular comments ---

    At the same time, both of their minds were drawn to a time, ten years ago, aboard a Nubian starship, when she had asked him that exact question. And at the time, his sorrow had been for the same reason; he missed his mother.
    This is great! :D I hadn't thought of this idea before -- but it is absolutely perfect. ;)

    ?What she did for you?.I don?t know if I would have had the strength to do the same."
    :eek: I mean, intellectually I knew that Shmi and Padme ultimately must make the same decision -- sacrifice their chance to raise their children for the good of the galaxy -- but to hear her say it out loud. Wow. :_| :_|

    Great post! :D
  21. Dally Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 2, 2001
    star 4
    Unfortunately, I think Padme will one day have to do the same as Shmi -- let her child go. Very touching scene. Please keep writing!
  22. geo3 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 29, 2002
    star 4
    This is interesting - I never gave much thought to the trip between Taooine and Geonosis, but you're right - it provides another good possibility for a missing scene. I think you have handled this one with great insight and restraint. Well done!
  23. stacysatrip Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 20, 2002
    star 4
    qingauk Thank you.

    Darth_Lex Yes, it is a sad thing that both Padme and Shmi had to make the same decision to give up their sons.

    Dally Yes, she'll have to make that choice some day. It's a sad, sad thing.

    geo3 Thanks.


    Well guys, I'm working on "I Truly, Deeply Love You" right now. I decided to write it as a though instead of a 3rd person POV scene. I don't see any other way to write it, actually, to give more insight.
  24. MissPadme Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 9, 1998
    star 4
    Not one of your best?? Are you nuts?!

    This was a wonderfully-written vignette, once again true to what was in the film. Not only did I pick up on the foreshadowing (ah, poor, poor Padmé), but I caught the Vaderesque gestures as well. This could apply to the previous vignette as well...I really like the way you show the maternal side of Padmé's relationship with Anakin. As I read in this book about SW's mythology, Padmé is a mother figure as well as a lover to Anakin.

    --MissPadme
  25. stacysatrip Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 20, 2002
    star 4
    MissPadme Thank you, I'm glad you liked it. I've often wondered if part of Ani's fascination with Padme is that she "mothers" him a little bit. But then, what guy doesn't like to be "babied" at some point? You should see my husband when he's sick, for example; it's pretty pathetic.


    The next post is here, guys! We have arrived at "I Truly, Deeply Love You." I've tried to interject a little humor in this one, since the last few have been so gloom and doom! Enjoy!

    *********************************************************************


    I Truly, Deeply Love You


    Summary: Well, the title says it all. This one is written from Padmé and Anakin?s POV.



    Here we are, but how did we get here? I know how it came to pass that I am now bound by my hands in this cart, waiting to be taken into the Geonosian execution arena. We got caught. But how did I get here, where I am at the point of certain doom, and all I can think about is Anakin? He looks at me reassuringly and tells me not to be afraid. In that moment, all reservation and doubt disappears from me. I must tell him; if not now, then when?


    ?I?m not afraid to die,? I whisper. Then the real truth escapes my lips, the truth I have been trying so pointlessly to conceal. ?I?ve been dying a little bit each day since you came back into my life.?


    Anakin is perplexed. ?What are you talking about?? he asks.


    This is it; the moment of truth. Once I say it, there is no going back. I gaze into his shining, confused blue eyes, and my heart flutters.


    ?I love you.?


    Anakin blinks several times and looks at me as though I am speaking a language he does not understand.


    ?You love me?? he repeats, trying to process what I have just confessed to him. ?I thought that we had decided not to fall in love?.?


    (Although this is not something one can simply decide, I had begrudgingly had to admit)


    ??.That we would be forced to live a lie??


    (You cannot live a lie when you are no longer living at all)


    ??.and that it would destroy our lives.?


    (But what life do I have without you in it?)


    ?I think our lives are about to be destroyed anyway,? I say, not trying to be witty, but sounding humorously obvious. I lean in to him as far as I can, the binders cutting in to my wrists, and earnestly look into his eyes.


    ?I truly, deeply love you,? I say hoarsely, ?and before we die I want you to know.?


    Suddenly, I feel as though this unbearable weight has, at long last, been lifted from my weary shoulders. We lean in to one another, and our lips meet, softly at first, then more urgently.


    Gods, why did I wait so long to tell him? Even though I am about to lose my life, I feel complete, content and secure; I love Anakin Skywalker, and I just told him so. And now, I finally have the peace for which I have searched so fervently ever since the funny little boy from Tatooine reappeared in my life as a handsome, confident Jedi Padawan, enamored with me and wanting nothing more than to make me his.


    And I am his. Now, and forever.


    *************************************************************************


    I?m looking around, searching for a way out of this predicament. My hands are bound together and attached by a short chain to this cart, my light saber is out of commission and was promptly taken from me upon capture anyway, and we are surrounded by well-armed Geonosian guards.


    Damn.


    I see Padmé beside me, her eyes filled with a look I cannot quite place. She must be terrified.


    ?Don?t be afraid,? I say stupidly, in truth trying to reassure us both.


    Her reply makes me feel like I am being slammed against the wall.


    ?I?m not afraid to die. I?ve been dying a little bit each day since you came back into my life.?


    I am dumbfounded; what in the blazes did I do to make her feel like she is dying?


    ?What are you talking about?? I ask, confused as I search for meaning in her lovely but sad brown eyes.


    She looks at me solemnly, and the words that follow li
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.