Saga Conversations with My Master (Obi-Wan/Post ROTS) - Updated! Conversation 16 posted 29 July

Conversations with My Master
By: Sabe126 and Force AchtungBaby

Genre: AU, drama
Time Frame: Post-Revenge of the Sith
Major Characters: Obi-Wan Kenobi, Qui-Gon Jinn
Summary: On the desolate desert planet of Tattoine, a emotionally destroyed Obi-Wan Kenobi learns to channel and communicate with the spirit of his dead master Qui-Gon Jinn. Qui-Gon, now one with the force, once again becomes the master and Obi Wan his apprentice as he helps his apprentice to finally become a pupil of the living force and in so doing both of them come to peace.

Disclaimer: This is a work of fan fiction. The Star Wars universe and its characters belong to George Lucas. We are only humbly borrowing his creations.

Prologue

"Promise me you will train the boy."

?Yes Master.? Obi-Wan had whispered through his tears, as he had held his dying Master in his arms.

Whatever his first feelings towards Anakin had been, Obi-Wan had seen the way Qui-Gon Jinn had championed his cause. The Force had told him that they boy must be trained and that as far as he was concerned, that was that. Even if meant going against the Council yet again. Qui-Gon was bound to the leadings of the Force more then he was the tenant of the Jedi Code or its Council.

And yet, Obi-Wan now realized, if the Council had trusted Anakin from the beginning would he have been so easily lured to the dark side by Palpatine?

?Perhaps.?

The response surprised the Jedi. He had not realized he had been speaking out loud. It had been Anakin?s inability to let go of what he feared to lose that had started him on his path to the dark side. Yoda had seen this in the nine-year-old boy who had stood before them in the Council Chamber. When Anakin had joined the Jedi Order, it was already too late.

But Obi-Wan had promised that Anakin would be a Jedi and that he would be careful in his training. He was wrong.

Qui-Gon's intuitive connection to the Force is what Anakin needed, Obi-Wan thought. Anakin's strength, as was Qui-Gon's, was his feelings.

The Council had been wrong not to see it as such, as was I.

If only. If only, he thought, as he stroked his beard absent-mindedly.

Shrugging off his cloak, Obi-Wan leant back against the cold stone wall of what would be his home for the considerable future. He would stay on this Outer Rim planet to protect Anakin?s son, until he was old enough to be trained. Luke would also know family bonds and undoubtedly he would form attachments.

I will not make the same mistakes with Luke, Obi-Wan swore. He swore into the Force with a fervor that must have reverberated and rippled even as far as the netherworld.

Darkness overshadowed his heart at the loss of his apprentice and friend - the closest he had and ever would have to a son. Yoda had brought glimmer of hope through that darkness. Neither knew how or why, but somehow Qui-Gon had made contact from the netherworld. As he left infant Luke with Beru and Owen and turned his back on the setting suns, Obi-Wan had known he would not that he would not be alone in this wilderness.

The training he had received from Yoda on board the Tantive IV had been brief and he himself had yet to make contact with his former Master. Exhausted after his confrontation with Anakin and the loss of Padme, he had tried to put into practice the Jedi Master?s teachings.

Do or do not. There is no try.

Yoda?s solemn declaration filled his mind causing the Jedi to laugh at himself. He must unlearn what he had learned and believe.

But what would he say to his Master? I have failed.

Closing his eyes, Obi-Wan prepared to begin?

 

Hmmm... This could be interesting.

 

Congrats on the start of your joint fic and am looking forward to this. Lucas really left us with an intriguing premise during that last scene between Yoda and Obi-Wan regarding Qui-Gon.

 

Yay! Glad to see you two doing this

Awesome start! Can't wait for more!

 

This looks good, I'd definitely like to see more.

 

Looks interesting! Looking forward to what former Master and Apprentice have to say to each other after 13 years!

I am especially intrigued by how attention to the Living Force will help one to retain identity when one is no longer living! Lucas never does explain exactly how it was done!

 

Good start...can't wait for more.
--Wynssa

 

Knight-Ander - Could be interesting? We sincerely hope so!

Arwyn_Whitesun - Lucas really left us with an intriguing premise during that last scene between Yoda and Obi-Wan regarding Qui-Gon. - Yes, he did and we will do our humble best and present what could have been on Tattoine.

Kynstar- Thanks! The plan is a post each week. The prologue and at least the first chapter we are writing together and after that plan to take turns writing chapters. We are around the room too about starting this.

Vaders_Angel - Thanks for stopping by and there will be more!

forever_jedi - I am especially intrigued by how attention to the Living Force will help one to retain identity when one is no longer living Lucas never does explain exactly how it was done! - True it does seem rather a paradox doesn't hope? We hope our explanation will not disappoint.

WynssaStarflare- We are looking forward to writing more of this too! Thanks for reading!

 

A wonderful beginning. I can't wait to see where this is going!

 

This looks like it has so much potential. I look forward to more!

 

Interesting start

 

Tinuviel_Jyana - A wonderful beginning. I can't wait to see where this is going!- Thank you. Great to see you! See what happens next at the weekend.

Anakin_Heartbreaker - This looks like it has so much potential. - Thanks. We hope you enjoy the rest.

PadawanKitara - Interesting start - Good to see you! Thanks for reading!

 

Conversation One

"It's just no use", Obi Wan muttered, opening his eyes. "How am I expected to do this alone?"

Alone, he mused was a feeling that he had been unprepared for. Had he ever been truly alone? Ironic that he, a Jedi taught to avoid attachments would find himself clinging to the past, to the Order and what it stood for. That was a life that now no longer existed but he found himself fearing to let go of it completely.

Why would Qui-Gon want to speak to him? He had foreseen that his pupil would become a great Jedi Knight. Obi-Wan did not believe he was a great Jedi Knight. He was a failure. Qui-Gon had been wrong. What else do you call a master whose apprentice turned to the dark side?

But Yoda and Qui-Gon also had apprentices who turned a voice whispered in his head. Obi-Wan shook his head in anger, ignoring the thought and banishing it from his mind. His apprentice had been the chosen one, the one who would bring balance; none of the others had left the force in darkness.

"You were the chosen one," Obi Wan sobbed with conviction fused with guilt and anger. Letting it consume him, Obi-Wan embraced his anger, in a way he had not known since he had watched his Master slain at the hands of a Sith Lord.

A Sith Lord, that was what the chosen one had become. "A Sith Lord," Obi-Wan screamed. His hand groped for something to hurl across the room. His hand settled quickly on a lightsabre attached to his belt.

"Anakin," he cried as he threw the lightsabre. The Jedi weapon smashed against the wall and then came to rest on the floor. In anguish, Obi-Wan covered his face with his hands. He would not follow Anakin down that path

The silence that followed threatened to overwhelm him. Maybe Qui-Gon needed to hear the words out loud? "Master," he cried, the word resonated around the room. "I have failed you, the Jedi, myself and Ana?" he broke off, unable to repeat his apprentice?s name.

Still there was no response. Obi-Wan leapt to his feet and looked upwards. "Is that what you needed to hear, Master? That I failed? I failed," he shouted. Is that why you spoke to Master Yoda and not to me?"

The Jedi began to pace up and down the small living area. "I was wrong, I thought I could train him as well as you would have done. Why did you ask me to train him?"

Obi-Wan stopped and listened for any reply from the netherworld. "Do you have the answer to that Master? Would you have made the same mistakes I did?"

"Would you, Master? Would you?" he sobbed. "Answer me," he screamed. Again there was nothing, Qui-Gon had rejected him once more. Only the sound of his ragged breathing broke the punishing silence.

Obi-Wan knew that he was talking out loud to no one but how else would he get Qui-Gon to listen to him? His other attempts at communication had failed. Maybe it was because he had not let himself believe that his Master could return? Even now it didn't seem rational that his former Master could hear him that he somehow existed at one with the Living Force. Rational or not, Obi-Wan needed to have him answer, to somehow comfort him and to be there with him. His whole conversation had been a desperate effort to convince himself that Qui-Gon was there, somehow.

Exhausted, Obi-Wan walked across the room and retrieved the lightsabre. He realized with shaking hands that it was Anakin's. He had picked it up on Mustafar without thinking. He raised the weapon and ignited it. Silently he contemplated the blade.

What was he doing? His mission still lay ahead of him. Instead of keeping his concentration on the here and now, Obi-Wan was allowing his regret over the past and his fear of the future to cloud his judgement. How many times had Qui-Gon told him not to lose sight of the moment; to be mindful of the Living Force.

The blue blade flickered and then its light was extinguished. It was just like Anakin now, broken and damaged, he thought to himself. "And it?s my fault." Obi-Wan sobbed.

"Padawan," a familiar voice filled the room with warmth.

Obi-Wan shook his head. It couldn'

 

Your presentation of Obi-Wan's angst and guilt over Anakin's turning sounds very believeable.

It should be interesting to hear Qui-Gon's answers and how he reassures him that his last mission as a Jedi has only just begun.

 

Obi-Wan seemed to have almost a breakdown there! After behaving in such a controlled manner since he boarded the Naboo skiff on Mustafar, all the way till he delivered Luke, I guess he needed to just scream his feelings out!

Interesting that Qui-Gon calls him "Padawan". It's been many years since Obi-Wan was one. Obi-Wan himself doesn't call Anakin "padawan" in RotS. Is it because Qui-Gon knows that Obi-Wan will become his padawan in the near future as he learns from him?

 

That was a beautifully written scene! I found it totally believable that Obi-Wan would break down at that moment. He is, after all, still human despite all his training and all his power. Sometimes it takes awhile for the overwhelming awfulness of a situation to sink in and then, even if only briefly, there are moments of such rageful despair as was described in the scene. I found it interesting that once Obi-Wan had refcoused back on the "here and now" Qui-Gon finally spoke to him, as if he knew that until Obi-Wan relesaed his anger and his despair he would not be open to what Qui-Gon had to teach him.

Nicely done! Looking foward to the next part.

 

Knight-Ander - Thanks. Yes, Obi-Wan has much to learn from
Qui-Gon still and will need his former master's tutelage to be able to
move forward and fulfill his last mission as a Jedi.

forever_jedi - I guess he needed to just scream his feelings out!
He is as much a human as he is a Jedi.
Is it because Qui-Gon knows that Obi-Wan will become his padawan in the near future as he learns from him?
Perhaps...Obi-Wan also needed to be return to some semblance of calm before he can truly begin to communicate with Qui-Gon.

Arwyn_Whitesun- I found it totally believable that Obi-Wan would break down at that moment. He is, after all, still human despite all his training and all his power.
Thanks - that was what we were hoping for.

I found it interesting that once Obi-Wan had refocused back on the "here and now" Qui-Gon finally spoke to him
Obi has to quit dwelling in the past and fearing the future and that is also the only way he can speak to Qui-Gon again.

 

I've been searching for a fic like this where Obi gets to talk to his old master - and I found it! Yea!

Keep up the good work...

 

Judsta36 - I've been searching for a fic like this where Obi gets to talk to his old master - We are glad you found it!!! Hope you enjoy the rest.

 

Poor Obi He is allowing his guilt and anger to cloud himself. One has to wonder what he went thru afterward. That poor man And nobody to console with!

Great work! You all did awesome with his emotional turmoil there!

 

Oh, great work! I've been longing to read a fic that describes Obi-Wan's training under Qui-Gon..this one's so good. I liked the way you've brought out Obi-Wan's unsettled feelings...and then led up to Qui-Gon calling him. I''m looking forward to where you're taking this.

 

Now that Ep III has gone by, I've really been looking forward to all the intertrilogy stories about Obi-Wan. This one is off to a terrfic start.

The guilt and ranting, I think, is exactly what would happen once he was alone. Before then, he always had a task to focus on to keep him from exploring his emotions, but now there's not much else to do. Even if he had no such issues, there would be a lot of soul-searching going on.

Can't wait for more conversations!

 

Continue, continue, please continue! This is wonderful! I've been looking everywhere for a fic that chronicles how Obi-Wan learned this "new" training from Qui-Gon on Tatooine, ever since I first saw RotS. So please update as soon as possible because I'm thoroughly enjoying it.

 

Kynstar- Great work! You all did awesome with his emotional turmoil there!
Thanks! We were hoping to be able to capture the emotional torment Obi would be facing alone.

Princess_Arulmozhi - Oh, great work! I've been longing to read a fic that describes Obi-Wan's training under Qui-Gon..this one's so good.
Thanks! We hope you keep coming back.

DarthMousche - Yes, lots of soul-searching is in store for both Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon.
Can't wait for more conversations!
Please come back for more.

advocate1900- Continue, continue, please continue!
We plan to continue! At least one new conversation a week. So glad that you are enjoying this because we are enjoying writing it. Love your icon!

Really all the praise and response to this is overwhelming

 

Conversation Two

Obi-Wan's eyes shot open. As scanned the darkened corners frantically his heart hammered in his chest. The room was empty. Had he really heard Qui-Gon or had his longing merely conjured up what he wanted to hear?

"Master?" He tentatively tried again. Shaking, he waited in the deafening silence for some response but the moment and his connection to the living force had vanished. Obi-Wan tried to center himself, to regain his inner calm; but the implication of what had just happened was almost overwhelming.

Now, now he believed what Master Yoda had told him aboard the Alderaan cruiser, how during his meditation years before, at the beginning of the Clone Wars, the Jedi Master had first heard Qui-Gon. Contact had been brief. Somehow during the pain and suffering that had almost consumed Anakin at the moment of his mother's death, Yoda had heard Qui-Gon's voice calling out from beyond the grave. A warning, that none of them had heeded. Unsure of his experience and the implications Yoda had kept his silent counsel, watched and waited.

His patience had been rewarded when amidst the destruction of Anakin's fall, the long-dead Jedi had again made contact and Yoda had gratefully become his apprentice and quickly learned the ways of the Living Force.

"I did hear him." Obi-Wan muttered to himself in wonder. The voice was unmistakeable. There had been no anger at his loss of control, at all the things he had screamed into the force, there had only been a master reaching out to his padawan.

Obi-Wan allowed himself to remember, letting the memories return. It had been easy to bury them deep inside, with Qui-Gon's death a door had closed as he had moved from his life as a padawan to his new life of a master. But he had never thought he would have to confront those feelings, to return to his old life.

Obi-Wan closed his eyes again. When the image of Qui-Gon formed within his mind he did not push it away and force it to vanish as he had for so many years previously. He allowed the face to become clearer and clearer until he could perfectly picture his master. A tear slid down his face as Qui-Gon's smiled at him. Although it had been years, his former Master's warm smile still affected him.

He had been given this opportunity and suddenly Obi-Wan?s head was filled with everything he wanted to say. There had been so many things left unsaid between the two. He recalled to himself all the little things over the years that caused him to laugh and would have amused Qui-Gon. How as a Master himself, he realised the trials and tribulations he had caused his own. That he had not realised how alike they were, until he had heard himself declare to Master Yoda that he would go against the Council in order to train Anakin.

"Master," he said. His eyes still tightly shut, focusing on the image he had created in his mind. He heard nothing and the image of Qui Gon slowly began to fade.

"Master. Please?" Obi-Wan pleaded. "Teach me again," he whispered.

But that was not all; there was something he desperately needed Qui-Gon to know. Maybe Qui-Gon could still hear him if he just talked?

?I?m sorry.? Once he began, the words poured out of him. ?I?m sorry I wasn?t fast enough, that you were left to face him alone.?

"You never left me just as I have never left you," came Qui-Gon's reply.

Obi-Wan smiled and nodded his response. "Yes, Master," he said softly.

"We will speak again very soon Padawan."

"When?" Obi-Wan asked eagerly, but Qui-Gon was gone.