Saga Conversations with Vader or Evil Plot Bunny Strikes - Total Humor -*Complete*

Disclaimer: The characters aren't mine. They just won't leave me alone.

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Then, without an ounce of preamble, Obi Wan drew his lightsaber and swung it, chopping off the Neimodian?s arm. He swung in the same breath to meet the battle droid head on when?

Suddenly everything on the computer freezes. The mouse freezes and nothing works. The screen goes dark. I try to shut off the power and reboot it, but everything seems to be stuck in a suspended state of animation. There?s just?nothing. And that?s when I notice the lower right hand corner of the screen. Instead of my normal Systray icons, there?s a blue flickering shadow. It looks like it might be a person.

?What the..??

?I have taken control of your computer.? The speakers vibrate with the low rumbling depth of the voice. ?It is now under the power of The Dark Side of The Force.?

?No it?s not.?

?Yes. It is.? The voice is angry now and the flickering blue reflection comes in a little clearer. He looks familiar.

?Aren?t you?Darth Vader??

?Yes.?

?What are you?? I look around, a little nervous now. ?doing here?? For a moment I wonder if someone slipped something into my Coke. I pick it up and sniff, but nothing seems out of place.

?Do not underestimate the Dark Side of the Force.? His voice rumbles across my desk now.

?Well I didn?t think I did??

?You will write a story about me. Not Obi Wan.?

?I like Obi Wan.?

?The story should be about me. I?m the star.?

?Who said so??

?George Lucas. That?s who.?

?Now you sound like that whiny kid.?

?What?? The desk rumbles under the power of the voice.

?The one that became you. What was his name again?? Blue light shoots from the bottom right corner of the computer and then a pencil in my cup next to the computer bursts into smoking flames. ?You shall not mention him to me again! I am Darth Vader.?

?Yeah yeah. I know. And see, that?s why I don?t write about you. You?re like?well, you?re a bully.?

?What?!?? The word is a roar.

I reach over, grab my burning pencil, and drop it into the can of Coke I?ve got sitting next to the screen.

?You?re a bully. You just walk around and kill people. You even tortured your daughter!?

?A lot of young women complain that their fathers have done far worse.?

?Than sending a torture droid in to???!?

?Okay okay.? He interrupts me. ?That may have been a little excessive.? I notice that the timber of his voice is beginning to change and I study the flickering ghost a little closer. Something?s changed.

?You?re not him anymore.? I say.

?What?? The voice is now that of a young man.

?You?re not Vader anymore. You?re Anakin again.?

?Yeah well I did get redeemed at the end of the story.? He looks up at me from under the hood of his robe. ?You do remember that don?t you?? His voice is sarcastic now.

?Of course I do. It?s what the whole series was building up to.?

?So why are you writing about Obi Wan? I?m the star.?

?Always about you isn?t it??

?Hey. Look at this.? My screen fills with a large picture of Anakin?s bare chest. ?Betcha Obi Wan doesn?t have that.?

?Obi Wan has a class and style that you?ll never??

Blue lightning bolts out of the corner of the screen again. This time my newspaper goes up.

?Hey! Quit that! I?m not going to write about you! Got that??

?You underestimate the power of The Dark Side.?

?Oh?? Completely not interested as I put out the burning newspaper.

?People will read your work.?

?Yeah? People read my work now.?

?People will comment on your work. Give you feedback.?

?I don?t believe you. Clouding the truth the Dark Side is.?

?Give it up. You can?t pull off Yoda.? He says with a shake of his head. I notice him rolling his eyes at me.

?I write this side of the Force. Got that??

?Obi Wan slept with my wife.?

?What?!?

?He slept with my wife! That?s pretty dark don?t you think??

?He did not!?

?Yes. He did. I have proof.?

?What? What proof?? My voice betrays an interest as I lean forward. This might develop into an in

 

I would say more, but I'm gasping for breath. Wow... Just wow. I love it! The interaction was hilarious.

?The story should be about me. I?m the star.?

?Who said so??

?George Lucas. That?s who.?

 

LOL, rather hilarious. Love the newspaper going up.

 

This was hilarious, Twich!!! Now, can you send him over to my computer?

 

LMAO!

 

Loved it!

 

That was hilarious! I would like to put my name on the waiting list for Vader....

 

?You?re kidding? That did it? Obi with his shirt off?? Again my computer fills with a picture of Anakin?s naked bare chest. ?You would deny this??

In a heartbeat cutie! Obi wins everytime!

Twich, this is too cute! I'm still giggling over here!

 

Thanks everyone for the wonderful comments!!! I'm really glad you all enjoyed it!

VadersMistress I was totally flipped that Darth fans would be ticked about this. Glad toknow that's not the case.

DarthIshtarIt was either that or Rhonderoo's magazine from the hairdresser thread.

Rhonderoo You are welcome to him anytime...as soon as he helps me finish this one fic. Just this one....really. I'm *not* going over to The Dark Side.

Siaynoqsbride As soon as Master Rhonderoo is done with him. (I heard that might be a while though.)

Shadowolf He just doesn't get it does he? LOL!

Phoenix_Reborn and VaderLVR64 Very happy to give you your laugh for the evening.

I've been toying with making this a continuing series, but that would mean he wouldn't leave me alone. Not too sure about that. Scary thing? There really is an angsty fic coming from this. (Let's not talk about how real *that* conversation was. )

 

You know I was eventually going to find this and love it.

Twich, this is like one of the funniest things I ever read and it needs to get more readers. So back to page one.

?Join me and we can rule the messageboards together.?

I can see that you two have managed that quite well with the Twisted Sister Sentence Challenges.

See it wasn't Z and Lola after all. It was you and the Dark Side.

?The Dark Side affords many powers to those who would delve deep and..? He stops and looks at me. ?Yadda yadda yadda.?



This was great.

 

So glad this was brought back into the light again! Hysterical. Love the switch from Vader to Anakin and back! And do you think Rhonderoo and Siaynoqsbride are finished with him yet? Lots of room left in my computer!