ST Corrupt A Wish: TFA Edition {Forum Game}

Granted but it comes in straight after the title, activates and slashes though the opening crawl rendering it unreadable and without that vital scene setting info we never DO figure out what the hell is going on in the movie.

I hope Lando saves the day by charming the armour off Captain Phasma.

Armour-Charmer (it sort of rhymes)

 

Granted. Hellooooo, what have we here???? Man parts?!?!

I wish Jakku is established as having been a lush, thriving ecosystem that was turned to sand when star destroyers impacted the surface.

 

Granted. And Lor San Tekka is regarded as a "lush" at the local cantina.

I wish we could see Battle Royale between jawas, ugnaughts, and ewoks.

 

Granted, but Watto puts his money on the ewoks because, "They always win!"

I wish Leia closes her eyes and assures everyone that Luke is alive because, she "can feel it."

 

Granted, but Luke is standing right behind her at the time with his hand on her shoulder.

I wish that R2 and BB have a mini-rivalry type of relationship...

 

Granted, but the rivalry is over C3PO's affections.

I wish Rey to be the daughter of Han and Leia.

 

Granted: but in Episode VIII Luke and Rey will have an 'I am your father' moment.

I wish Chewie will find a wookiee girlfriend in Ep. VII

 

Granted, but Malla will file for divorce, gain primary custody of Lumpy, and bankrupt Chewie.

I wish for Captain Phasma to succeeed Darth Maul and Boba Fett as the villainous-henchman-who-dies-like-a-punk.

 

Granted. After she's kicked out of The Modal Nodes and Max Rebo, the death sticks finally take their toll.

I wish Snoke is able to manipulate fire.

 

Granted, he manipulates a camp fire with a poker and adds another piece of wood to his now manipulated fire.

I wish Kylo Ren would use a blaster as well as his lightsaber.

 

Granted, but he's a worse shot than the OT stormtroopers.

I wish Rey to be the hero who gets a hand/arm cut off in a lightsaber battle.

 

Granted, but she'll do it herself after trying Kylo Ren's three bladed lightsaber.

I wish George Lucas will have a cameo in TFA

 

Granted, but he plays a Gungan midi-chlorianologist with a nine-year old sidekick, and they both keep saying, "Yippee!" New Special Editions of the six preceding films will be issued digitally inserting these two characters into every movie of the Star Wars saga.

I wish for Ackbar to be a Grand Admiral who, when asked if something is possible, responds, "It's a snap."

 

Granted. And when it comes to venereal disease, he always responds: "It's the clap!"

I wish that Jakku is the last desert world we ever see in the episodic Star Wars saga.

 

It was your wish I just took it to the worst possible conclusion.

 

Granted, but only because we all go blind from watching the practical effects of Starkiller base blowing up at the end.

I wish that Jakku also has Jawas.

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granted but ILM works out how to 3D digitally project their terrible smell into the cinema.

I wish that I am inexplicably cast as the romantic leading man in Episode 8. (I look a bit like Steve Buscemi if that helps)

 

Granted, but your romance is with a Gamorrean who looks like James Gandolfini.

I wish for Hutts in TFA.

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So fairly attractive as far as Gamorrean's go. (Gotta take the positives!)

 

Granted.



I wish for a Seventh Sister in TFA. She can kill me anytime.

 

granted, but she kills u slowly...

I wish Dengar and IG-88 were in TFA.

 

Granted. But they say "Roger, Roger" every 5 seconds the entire movie.

I wish I could see the movie NOW

 

Granted, but the opening fanfare blows out your eardrums and you go temporarily deaf until the closing credits.

I wish for blue milk to appear in TFA, and for it to be canonically established as "blue yogmash."

 

Granted. It makes a fantastic combo with "Count Dookuberry" cereal.

I wish Finn & Kylo end their duel in the woods to build a snowman together.