Before Could Have Been Me" THIS IS IT! FINAL CHAPTER-FUTURE ALWAYS IN MOTION IT IS. LET'S HOPE SO!!

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by ewen, Apr 30, 2003.

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  1. ewen Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 11, 2001
    star 4
    Master Jinn made an unsuccessful attempt at convincing the boy he should eat. When Qui-Gon left Obi-Wan?s room for the evening he took the filled bowl of soup and the untouched bread with him. Obi-Wan drank some honey flavored tea and Qui-Gon convinced himself it would be enough for now.

    Obi-Wan lay with his head turned toward the window so he would have to see those questing eyes of Master Jinn and waited for the sound of the door close behind what should have been rightfully his master.

    Obi-Wan let his thoughts linger on Bruck Chun, his replacement. He found humor in the fact Jinn?s padawan was being shipped away.

    Master Jinn?s little chosen one wasn?t so perfect now was he? He did not know the real reason Jinn took him. Bruck was not perfect for Master Jinn, but he would do because there was no intimate connection like the Jedi master had with Xanatos.

    Obi-Wan fought sleep as he let his mind drift to Xanatos Crion. His friend, his mentor his big brother, all rolled into one. Obi-Wan had no one to champion him personally, to praise his accomplishments, and tamp down his hurt from his failures and missteps. Xani was always there to pat him on the back to a job well done or an arm around his shoulders with a promise that Obi-Wan could do better next time.

    Yes, that is what I liked about Xani. His life was even-keeled. Balanced in all things good and bad. He could handle my worse mistakes as easily as my most successful endeavors.

    Obi-Wan finally let the sleep that had been lulling his mind overtake it.

    []#####[/b] Later that night.######[/b]

    When the dream started, it was welcomed in Obi?s subconscious. Well Obi-Wan thought it was a dream and he *thought* it was in his subconscious but questioned that thought when his eyes flew opened and he sat straight up in bed. He rubbed his eyes a couple of times to make sure the haze of sleep hadn?t clouded his vision. He wanted to make sure he saw what he thought he saw.

    ?Obi it?s me. You have thought about me half the evening. Don?t you want to speak with me in person. I would say in the flesh but??
    .


    ?Xani Is that you? AM I dreaming??

    ?No Obi, I am not a dream and I assure you, you have not lost your mind. I have come with a message for you. You have never failed to listen to me before.. well only occasionally.. But I want you to listen to me now. Can you do that my *little slave*??

    Whatever this Xani was, a memory, a dream, or a blue hued ghost that he appeared to be, Obi knew the term of endearment when he heard it. Xani would often tease him and call him his *little slave*, though Obi-Wan never in any way ever felt that way.

    The blue hue molded in Xanatos? likeness looked nervously around him.

    Do spirits get nervous? The thought was meant for himself, but Xani heard it in his thoughts as well.

    Obi-Wan was surprised that the answer came to him in his mind and not spoken. Until that moment he did not realize Xani could hear him through mind thoughts.

    You do if the spirit is me. I am not sure how I found my way here. I stood by in my spirit form and watched you in pain and misery, I wished I could ease your pain, and Wah La, I am here. Now I am not sure if I can find my way back.

    The next words were spoken to Obi-Wan instead of thought.

    ?Look Obi-Wan I have to go. I will try to come back and talk with you later. I just wanted to see if I could come to you and I can. I don?t want to be gone long. I am not even sure I was allowed?I mean if I should have left without another knowing.?

    Obi-Wan stretched his arm out to touch his best friend. Xani jumped back as if he feared the touch, wasn?t sure what it would do, or if he should, could allow it.

    ?Sorry Obi. All this is new. I don?t want to screw things up and not be able to come back. Let?s just leave it at it is now and I will work to come back to you.?

    ?Then don?t go Xani, please stay here and explain more. What happens if you don?t figure out how to come back again??

    There the nervousness i
  2. Jedi_Knight150 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 26, 2002
    star 4
    *jumps up and down*

    God post ewen! That was so cool! Xani came back as a Force spirit! Is he gonna come back again? And then Qui running in.. That was really funny. But it is good to know he cared enough to do so. It's also good that the one person Obi trusts told him to trust Qui. maybe they'll get somewhere now!
  3. PadawanKitara Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2001
    star 5
    I guess Xani coming back from the dead os the only way for those two to straighten up their mess
  4. benknobi1 Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Jun 12, 2002
    star 6
    LOL obi's having the good kind of ghost nigtmares. [face_laugh]
  5. Jedi_Knight150 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 26, 2002
    star 4
    Obi's having a "Cole Sear" moment.

    "I see dead people."
  6. Thalia_Nox Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Oct 29, 2002
    star 3
    Go Xani! Go Xani! **notices weird looks** Um... Great post!
  7. Jedi_Knight150 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 26, 2002
    star 4
    I'm really curious to see how Qui-Gon is going to react to this. Let's just hope he doesn't decide to put the bucket on again....
  8. Jedi_Knight150 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 26, 2002
    star 4
  9. Thalia_Nox Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Oct 29, 2002
    star 3
  10. ewen Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 11, 2001
    star 4
    ?Say you do the boy believes what he saw, ghost it was??

    ?Yes Master Yoda I don?t get any suspicions that he is joking. Besides I don?t think he would joke about his dearest friend. No, he believes he saw Xani last night. Might help me in a way too. Xani?s message to him was to trust me. How about that. At least either way true or not Xani or what Obi-Wan believed was Xani added some positive reinforcement for the boy. I mean he told him to listen to me.

    Healer Ignatius had been listening silently until he spoke with his own opinion.

    "Maybe this is his way of justifying listening to you. He blames it on Xani.

    ?Excuse me.?

    ?Well he has reiterated several times you are the reason he did not become a Jedi. He said you betrayed him and your shared bond. It would look a little cowardly now to give in and let you help him. That is, unless he has an excuse to listen and follow you. His excuse and lame as it might be is Xanatos Crion,? well the ghost of your former padawan. He has been ill and thinks you won?t make him explain seeing this apparition; accept it as truth or just not bother to confront him because of his rundown state.?

    ?So you think he made it up? He did not see Xani in ghost form.

    Healer Ignatius looked at Qui-Gon as if he had gone as nuts as any Jedi master could.

    ?Master Jinn don?t tell me you believe in myths and magic of the blue ghost handed down century by century of the Jedi order. I know there are some but I thought you were more modern and thought more clearly than to believe in that myths of blue ghost inhabiting the temple. We would be overrun with Jedi who wished to come back, if that were the case.?

    Healer Ignatius shook his head as if astounded by a grown man?s belief in a ghost.

    "It?s bad enough that the child thinks he can pull that over on us. If you humor his false beliefs, it can do the boy no good, no good at all.?

    Yoda silently excused himself form the conversation by taking a step back and remaining quiet. Master Ignatius too was to busy with his interrogation Master Jinn about his beliefs that he hadn?t the time to ask Master Yoda what he thought.

    For the first time Master Yoda didn?t speak about this subject. This particular subject had special meaning for him. If asked he would have to be rebuked by the healer in the same way. The believed in the legendary blue ghost of the Jedi; those Jedi with an agenda not finished and felt obligated to come back after the force had called them to eternal bliss.

    He would rather keep his opinions and beliefs to himself at the moment. He would discuss with his former padawan after Ignatius left. If he ever does.So busy telling my apprentice wrong he is, cannot see the rightness of the situation whether blue ghost seen or not. Use it Qui-Gn should to his advantage.

    Yoda came of of his own thoughts still with Healer Ignatius admonishing Master Jinn.

    "I think you should stop the child?s overgrown imagination. Nip in the bud right now. Let him know you understand why he chose to see a ghost, to lay the blame on him for wanting to trust you but be straightforward. Don?t let him hide behind a lie, a made up ghost.?

    "I don?t see the relevancy of whether it is truth or made up to cover his actions. Either way if it helps the boy.?

    In this Yoda knew Healer Ignatius was wrong but listened to his explanation anyway.

    Master Yoda continued to stand to the side and let Master Healer Ignatius leave Master Jinn?s quarters. In most things he and the healer agreed upon, in his they did not, but Yoda was not ready to press the issue . Not with Healer Ignatuius at least. He would however gently guide his former padawan to do what he thought best. As soon as the healer left Yoda launched into his own theory.

    ?Listen to your heart you should Qui-Gon not what others tell you.?

    ?What do you mean master . I can?t let the boy think he got away with a lie. ?

    ?If made up this is and not sure I am if it is, purpose of the lie Obi-Wan has. Deeper it is than a lie. Listen to your heart in this. Listen y
  11. PadawanKitara Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2001
    star 5
    You mean QGJ of all people actually believes him about the ghostie? [face_shocked] pigs must be flying
  12. benknobi1 Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Jun 12, 2002
    star 6
    ""Well if you have not faced the truth yet, it is time to do so. Answer me young one.

    ?Alright Xanatos.? Obi-Wan let his flared temper come through with his words. He forgot that Xani could hear as well just know with his mind what Obi said.


    ?Give me a minute Xani. I know I am running out of time.?

    Obi-Wan feared that Xani would leave before all this was straightened out, like he did the night before. However Xani had thoughts and worries of leaving for a more indefinite period of time than just a night, maybe forever.

    ?It is not you, but I, who has very little time left Obi-Wan.?""

    ooooooooooo! cliffe [face_shocked]

    the jedi never figure things out before it's to late. [face_sigh]
  13. Thalia_Nox Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Oct 29, 2002
    star 3
    They don't believe him? The bastards! I'd like to see the look on their face upon being visited by a blue ghostie then!
  14. Jenny_The_Jedi_Girl Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 16, 2001
    star 4


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  15. Thalia_Nox Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Oct 29, 2002
    star 3
  16. ewen Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 11, 2001
    star 4
    Thanx for uppping and the feedback. Forgive me if there are alot of errors in this.

    I wanted to post this one and hopefully "Fitting In" before I go to a Uncle Cracker" concert tonight.

    I will edit it again when I come home tonight!!!ewen

    ####


    ?Listen Obi I don?t know how long I can stay here and I want you to hear *ALL* I have to say.?

    Obi-Wan?s stomach turned to knots. He didn?t want his best and only friend to leave and never return He would take him as a Jedi blue ghost if that was the only way he could.

    ?Xani don?t leave unless you promise to come back.?

    ?What did I tell you Obi? I am in no position now to promise anyone anything. You must listen to what I have to say.?

    Obi was afraid to blink or divert his attention from the cascading blue smoked likeness of Xanatos Crion that seemed to envelope the room. He feared Xani would just *poof* and disappear on him.

    ?All right Xanatos you have my undivided attention, go on. What about Master Jinn? That is what you want me to listen too isn?t it? You want to tell me what a great master he would be. Maybe he was for you but he might not be the master for me. I can only accept being denied by him two times and it is enough. He might decide to make me his padawan only to change his mind.?

    ?If I weren?t ghost right now I would slap some sense in that stubborn head of yours.?

    ?Master Jinn is afraid Obi-Wan. Just as he was before afraid is as your are now afraid... I hurt him more than anyone will know other than he and I. He wants badly to have an apprentice, one who will remain faithful to him through apprenticeship to knighthood and beyond. Not someone like me who leaves. He first thought he saw in you, what was in me. The rebelliousness, the independency you have. All you have is some of what I have. Give him a chance. He is your destiny as you are his.?

    Obi-Wan never let his gaze leave Xanatos as he tried to convey to his friend how he felt.

    ?Xani I want to respect your wishes and your wisdom. But in this I am as confused as you are about your spectral state. I can not make a promise I might not be able to keep. I honored your words when you said the same thing about keeping a promise, please honor mine but don?t be angry with me for not being able to say it. I know you might run out of time so I will give you this. I promise to try. I promise to think about all this and really try to accept Master Jinn as my master.. Now you promise me you will *TRY* to come back.?

    A sadness loomed over the dead former Jedi as he looked into the wishful eyes of his little friend.

    ?I promise I will try but I don?t think we can come back as often as you think unless there is a reason. I can promise you this Obi-Wan Kenobi I will watch for I can see and be by you always . Feel for me through the force in your hardest times and your happiest and you will feel me there through the grace of the force. I also promise that if your master makes a misstep and unsubstantiated claim that you are not the apprentice he wanted I will return. I will rally in your defense. However let me also say that I promise this only because I know I will never be needed in that capacity. Jinn will not betray you and I trust with all my soul you will not betray him.?

    With that, Obi did not have time to say goodbye to his friend , Xanatos Crion evaporated into thin air, gone before his eyes and he hadn?t even blinked but still missed it someway. It was as if the force itself cloaked him in an invisible fog and took him away to where he belonged, *now*.

    This time Obi-Wan had been very careful not to give his secret away. Well it wasn?t a secret anymore Master Jinn knew of Xani?s first blue-hued ghostly visit the first time, but this time Obi didn?t want to be interrupted. He remained very still when Xani came. There was no fear or apprehension. No, he thought, he would take that back.

    The only apprehension he had was if Xanatos hadn?t shown up.


    #####Qui-Gon?s bedroom.

    Master Jinn had not fallen asleep. Not that he wasn?t sl
  17. Jedi_Knight150 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 26, 2002
    star 4
    OMG! That's great ewen! I love the whole TPM hint. It's also good that Xani helped Obi and Qui get a little bit closer.
  18. PadawanKitara Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2001
    star 5
  19. jedibear30 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 14, 2002
    star 1
    wow. great forshadowing ewen. you were right. i have come to enjoy this story immensely. didn't think i would. thank you for all the wonderful images. gotta go for now. busy week for me. see ya later, my friend.
  20. ewen Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 11, 2001
    star 4
    Well this one is over. I will be completing the others soon.

    Do me this one favor. If you read the story liked it or want to read more, if I decide to write more just hit send and send me a blank message so I will know if there are more than two or three reading. I know I must have some lurkers. For those that read it posted or not on it, thank you for taking your time to read my stories. ewen

    ################

    Master Jinn still stood in the middle of his bedroom staring at where Xanatos had stood in spirit form only moments earlier, still in awe of the fact he had just spoken to his former apprentice who he watched die months before.

    It was no wonder that when a knock at his door the big Jedi rifled the big master out of his thoughts he almost jumped out of his skin.

    He didn?t knock last time so I don?t think that is my former apprentice. It must be the one I hope will be my future apprentice.

    "Come in? The command sounded a much gruffer than he intended it too. Actually he hadn?t meant to sound gruff or out of sorts at all.

    That certainly wasn?t how he felt after just having a ten minute conversation with the one person he wished more than anything to see again but *thought* he knew he never would.

    ?Master Jinn??

    Obi?s lower lip trembled. He had not expected Master Jinn to sound so rough. He thought they were past that.

    ?I am sorry if I interrupted your sleep.?

    After the words came out of his mouth he knew he couldn?t have interrupted Master Jinn because he stood in the middle of the room wide awake, dressed in sleep pants, but certainly not asleep.

    ?I am sorry Obi-Wan. Please forgive me for sounding so rude. I did not mean too. I had been in deep thought about something and??.?

    ?And I interrupted your thoughts??

    Obi threw his hand over his mouth after he realized he had interrupted the master?s conversation as well.

    Qui-Gon smiled and threw his hand up to motion the boy over. He walked to the bed sat on the edge and waited for Obi-Wan to follow his lead and do the same.

    ?You did interrupt our conversation but I will overlook that this time. If however you become my apprentice as I wish you too, we couldn?t have such a mistake made.?

    It was a joke but Obi-Wan at first took it to heart until he saw the master?s lips curl into a small smile.

    "However, you did not really interrupt my thoughts. Not good to dwell in the past or think of the future. *You are the now* and I can?t think of anyone I would rather see right now. I already saw the one other person I cared about in my lifetime.?

    Master Jinn chanced the opportunity to softened the atmosphere around them. He loosely tossed his arm around the shoulders of Obi-Wan. He felt no stiffening or tightening of the boy?s muscles to indicate the child did not wish the arm to be there. In fact the opposite occurred. Obi-Wan relaxed under it and drew closer to the master who sat beside him..

    Qui-Gon studied the face that turned to look up questioningly at him. The blue sometimes green eyes had so much sorrow in them, yet also held so hope as well. Qui-Gon studied that little hopeful face of Obi-Wan Kenobi?s as it broke into a tiny smile of his own.

    ?Then you had a visit from Xanatos too. Am I right??

    Jinn tapped the end of the boy?s nose? with the tip of his index finger.

    ?Yes young one, you are absolutely right and I am greatly relieved in more ways than one that I was gifted enough to see him. That is how I look at it. It was the greatest gift I could ever have gotten in my lifetime. Xani's appearance helped strengthen my beliefs in the force and I now can rest easier knowing somewhat of where he is. At least I know he watches over me. Not only me but most of you.?

    Obi dropped his head and watched himself play with his hands.

    Even with his head down, Master Jinn could see the dimpled chin start to quiver again and when Obi next spoke his voice crakced from fighting the tears that threatened.

    "We might never see him again. Am I right about that too??

    JInn was qui
  21. PadawanKitara Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2001
    star 5
    I'm glad you brought Xani back for one last visit :) Is your chapter title suggesting you might write an au ending to tpm??
  22. BLADE_KENOBI Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 25, 2001
    star 1
    Great Story, and a great ending! Though I am sad to see the story end. I guess I have your other stories to read.

    Thanks for sharing with us ewen!

    Keep up the good work!

    Blade :cool:
  23. Altaira Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 11, 2002
    star 4
    Yeah! I was lurking... I did enjoy the twists you had in this and looked forward to seeing you posted again. You portrayed a good Xan nice, although after reading the books I do prefer him evil [face_devil] JK, you did a great job with him. I always did tend to hang with the bad guys more. Nothing good was gained from that. 8-}

    I hope you write more, Qui-Gon, although considered a great Jedi has made mistakes and been cold on a regular basis even in the movies and the JA books. It?s nice when he finally redeems himself somewhat at the end. What is the word I have seen around... ?buckethead? [face_laugh]

    Hope you keep writing more! :)
  24. Bekah_K Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 3, 2002
    star 4
    Another one delurking...

    Great job on your fic ewen. Please continue to write.

    Maybe a sequel? :)

    ~Bek

  25. Darth_Leia_6669 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 26, 2003
    star 4
    I loved the way you tied the ending with TPM, that was very well done! I hope to see more from you soon, and I will continue to support your other fics as well. Once again, nice job!

    --later--
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