Count The Cost (what if Amidala and Obi-Wan were married)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction Stories--Classic JC Board (Reply-Only)' started by R U Sidious, Feb 17, 2000.

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  1. R U Sidious Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 17, 1999
    star 1
    This is my first attemp at posting. The idea came about when I came from work one night and the first thing my husband said to me was that while at work the thought that Episode 1 was setting up an Arthur type senerio had crossed his mind. I'd had the same thought that night. The song ONCE IN LOVE WTHI AMI is actually ONCE IN LOVE WITH AMY but sense Amy can also be spelled with an I it seemed to fit. It's from an old Musical version of Charlie's Aunt with Ray Boldger.

    [This message has been edited by R U Sidious (edited 02-19-2000).]
  2. Mara (Mary) Jade Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Feb 15, 2000
    Hey, that sounds like it would be my kind of story!!! I will definately be looking out for posts on this one!!
  3. Jedi-Jade Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 21, 1999
    star 4
    Go for it! I look foward to reading it!
  4. Amidolee Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jan 8, 2000
    star 5
    Hey, welcome to the Ami/Obi love band wagon! It's becoming a sort of fad around here to start a thread about them. I'm working on one with TheLastApocolypse, it's going really good. There's also this awesome one that Kaea has been working on-AND WE WISH SHE WOULD CONTINUE! (hint hint)

    Can't wait for you to start!
  5. TheLastApocalypse Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 3, 1999
    star 4
    Forum9/HTML/001701.htmlThe Un-Named Fic
  6. R U Sidious Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 17, 1999
    star 1
    Some sacrifice their lives , for political success.
    Trade away their self respect, for a life of excess.
    But the adulation of the crowd, when their out of sight
    or a gold crown on your head wont help you sleep at night.
    So listen well my friend, and take this good advice.
    Always count the cost and always think twice
    You need two arms to hold you that have promised to be true,
    and knowing in the mirror you can still face you.

    Happiness measured by the gold in your hand,
    Is like the foolish man who built upon the sand.
    He built his great big castle on that pretty shore,
    Then storms came one day and washed it all away.
    So build on the Rock and take this good advice.
    Always count the cost and always think twice.
    You need two arms to hold you that have promised to be true,
    And knowing in the mirror you can still face you.

    Dear, please forgive me I can?t go with you. Not now. Not ever. "Count the cost Padme" My father used to say" count the cost before you act." What are my actions going to cost me now? What are they going to cost you? Things should never have gone this far.

    I was just so unhappy. You made me laugh again. I thank you for that. But I?ve been running away. Away from responsibility. Away from my pain. Away from myself. Away from my husband. It?s wrong. Not just because of what other people will think or say but because you don?t love ME. Oh please, don?t get me wrong I know love me. You love me as this perfect being. Like.. what did you say when we first met. An angel. And I?m no angel. My actions over the last few days have proved that.

    After we were together I went back to the palace to get ready to go to another official ceremony. I sat down at the mirror and I couldn?t remember what this banquet was for. Who it was for? Why was it so important for me to be there? I was doing to you what I have been doing to Ben for the last 10 years.

    Ben, how he had laughed when I was so worried about him changing his name to marry me. Prince Benjamin of Naboo the Queen?s consort. No longer Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi. At least not in this system. And not at any official ceremony that we attended on Coruscant. When little Qui-Gon was born the news announced his birth across the galaxy as Prince Qui-Gon son of Queen Amadala of Naboo and the Queen?s consort Prince Benjamin. I wonder how well you would have dealt with that. When our little one died it was the same. My name first and Ben as an after thought. The public not taking any notice of Ben?s grief. It was he who sat beside little Qui-Gon?s bed held his hand and tried to get him to live long enough for me to get to the temple. He died calling for his Marmmie. Where was I? Off on some diplamatic mission half way across the galaxy.

    After the funeral he and you left for the battle. I didn?t? t see him or you again until after I had the miscarriage. Then Ben came to Naboo to see me and for you to heal. I had no answers as to why it happened anymore than he had answers as to why all the Healers at the temple couldn?t heal little Qui-Gon. For the first time in five years Ben and I had nothing to say to each other.

    We have probably been apart more than together during our marriage especially the last 3 years. But when Ben stood next to our bed that day it felt like we were galaxy?s apart. You lost your mother not long ago and the loss of my children drew you and I closer to each other. In some way I felt Ben blamed me for the loss of both children. Ben was called to Corascaunt. He wasn?t even home for one day. You stayed here.

    It had been a long time since we had spent much time together Ani. I leaned on you. No longer the little boy I always thought of you as. But the great war hero. The Son of the Suns. I didn?t mean to lead you on but in the end I have. I wanted to believe you that we could just go away no one would miss us. You would create a place for me where nothing could ever hurt me. You could be happy living a simple life. You know that?s not t
  7. R U Sidious Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 17, 1999
    star 1
    Darth Dismembered,
    Thanks for the advice. I'm very inscure about my grammer, puctuation and spelling. The main reasons I never went to college. Yep. Back in my day 29 years ago when got out of high school spell check didn't exist. Ya had to look words up in a book called a dictionary. I hope this makes my story easier to read.


    [This message has been edited by R U Sidious (edited 02-19-2000).]

    [This message has been edited by R U Sidious (edited 02-19-2000).]
  8. Darth Dismembered Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Sep 24, 1999
    star 1
    Well, I like it so far. But here is some advice that was given to me when I first started writing fanfic. Remember the enter key. People read easier when there is space between paragraphs.



    Darth D

    -The nuttiest Darth around-
  9. R U Sidious Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 17, 1999
    star 1
    The Queen?s Transport 2 had returned. Amidala tried to move the meeting with her advisors along as quickly as possible, Still it was mid-afternoon when she came into their quarters. Ben was asleep. He looked worn and haggard even in his sleep. He looked like she felt. She wasn?t sure how long he?d been asleep and she thought about waking him up.

    "If your going to wake up someone who?s been in combat make sure you do it carefully and can get out of the way."

    The words were Ben?s from so long ago. 15 years? Has it really been that long? She was on her way to Coruscant. Running from the Trade Federation. Posing as Padme. Panaka had sent her to tell Qui-Gon he wanted to seen him. It didn?t matter what about. Panaka, Sabe ,and her handmaidens knew she was Amidala. No one else knew. They treated her like any other handmaiden. When Panaka saw she was free he sent her. No reason no explanation. Just go deliver this message.
    She didn?t get an answer so she went into the room. Qui-Gon was on a sleep couch snoring away. She reached down to touch his shoulder. As she did Obi-Wan came out of the bathroom and grabbed her. Pulling her away from Qui-Gon. She stumbled and fell against Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan put his arms around her to steady her. Qui-Gon came flying off the couch. Light saber at ready.

    "What?s wrong?"

    "Captain Panaka w-want?s to s-see you." she had stammered.

    Then Obi-Wan had told her to be careful. Qui-Gon gave them a stern look. Especially Obi-wan,

    Qui-Gon finally said "Tell him I?ll be there shortly."

    It was then Amidala realized that Obi-Wan didn?t have his tunic on. Her hands and face were pressing against his bare chest and his arms were around her. At the same time she became aware of how he smelled. He still had a little shaving cream on his face. He smelled of early morning. Like her father would when he woke her. And yet not at all like her father.
    She nodded and bolted for the door. Out side the door she stopped her heart racing. She had never seen a Jedi in action and never seen anyone move that fast. Through the shut door she could barley hear Qui-Gon?s and Obi-Wan?s muted voices,

    "..And just what were you doing?...."

    "Nothing Master"

    "Well see that you don?t...."

    "Master....she?s just a kid"

    That stung.

    "She?s a young woman"

    Qui-Gon didn?t think she was just a kid.

    Qui-Gon continued "And she....way too young."

    To young for what? Suddenly it hit her like a ton of bricks. What Qui-Gon had meant. She hadn?t moved Qui-Gon would be out any minute. She dashed off down the hall to find Panaka. Almost knocking over Anakin in the process. She didn?t think the Jedi Master would be too happy to know she had over heard him admonish his padawan about the dangers of pre-marital sex. She also didn?t think the padawan would be happy either. Seeing it was she who had caused the undeserved correction.
    After that Qui-Gon kept a close eye on his padawan and her making sure they were never alone together. First she wondered if he had begun to suspect she was Amidala. 4 years later when she and Obi-Wan became romantically involved she wondered if he had fore seen that. Now she wondered if Qui-Gon had seen her and Anakin?s betrayal of Obi-Wan.


    Amidala decided to let Ben sleep. It gave her time to think. What do I say? The only thing she knew was she didn?t want to tell him in costume. She was wearing a simple robe. Well the gold and purple robe was simple for her. She glanced at the clock. She had 4 hours till she would have to dress for tonight?s banquet. She had a fetish for elaborate dress. Ben?s was anything he could tinker with. Anything that was broken he could tear apart and make useable again. Electrical or not it didn?t matter. Just so it had a lot of bits and pieces. Most of these things became presents for friends. But the clock he?d given her on their first anniversary. He put as much detail into these things as she did her wardrobe. Another way they were
  10. Jedi-Jade Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 21, 1999
    star 4
    I think this is WONDERFUL!!!! Please write more!
  11. R U Sidious Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 17, 1999
    star 1
    The beauty of the chamber took her breath away. Her first thought was Ben has to see this. Now she knew she would never be able to show it to him. The cost Amidala the cost. In fact she could never go there again. She heard Ben release a long slow breath. She looked over at him and realized he was relieved. She didn?t need Jedi abilities to sense it. She could read it in his body language and see it his face. Relieved? RELIEVED!!!! Now she felt her anger rise.

    "You know I?ve been unfaithful to you with your padawan and all you are is RELIEVED! Don?t I mean anything too you after 10 years of marriage. Don?t you have a heart. Oh, That?s right the Jedi are above we mere mortals. They don?t feel human emotions. Your not angry, your not sad, your not hurt, your not shocked. Your RELIEVED! I should have known nothing could disturb your Jedi calm but I?m surprised I mean so little to you. Tell me great Jedi Master did you see this coming and decide it wasn?t important enough to mention to me? Was this some sort of test for Anakin, for me? To see if we were worthy of your time and wisdom. Are you happy we failed your test? "

    "AMI ! You KNOW that isn?t true."

    "Do I ? What I know is that the only time in the last 6 months you?ve been home is when you dropped off Anakin. You couldn?t even stay 24 hours. In fact in the last 6 months I?ve only seen you 2 other times. When I got pregnant and when our first born died. Both of those times I came to you.?

    "I know. And before you to accuse me of being made of stone, maybe you should look at this." He got a data pad off the desk and handed it to her. "You also might want to ask Panaka and Ceel how their new recruits are?"

    "What?s this?"

    "A list of repairs for our?for your quarters on the Queen?s Transport 2. Panaka gave it to me as I left the ship."

    Amidala looked at the list of repairs. She was stunned. It seemed that every piece of furniture, every piece of art work, every decoration, every piece of equipment that was in the quarters had been destroyed. Not just damaged but destroyed beyond repair. Even the walls between rooms would have to be replaced. In fact the Queen?s Quarters on the QT2 would have to be completely gutted and remodeled. No one had said anything about an attack. What about other parts of the ship? Had someone broke into the quarters and vandalized them? Had Ben been in danger? It just didn?t make any sense. And why did he want her to see this when they were arguing about his not caring? She wouldn?t know unless she asked.

    "What happened? "

    "I lost control. When I ?. I?m sorry. I?m not proud of it." He ran his fingers through his hair and walked over to the fire place and lit the candles in it.

    "You did all this by yourself?"

    "Yes"

    "Didn?t anyone try to stop you?"

    He gave her a look that said ?Are you serious? What would you have done?? She thought just what they did stayed out of the way. Well now I know about how many credits it?s going to cost me. Then she remembered he?d said something about the new recruits. In 15 years they still didn?t have a military force that was a true blend of Gungan and Naboo soldiers and pilots. The recruits that Ben was referring to were to be the first. Trained as Royal Guards for her and Boss Nass. They were participating in War Games where Ben had been sent on his last mission. So he?d got ride home with them. Odd how badly did they need a Jedi if they were cooperating with another system in War Games?

    "What about the recruites?"

    "After the noise died down, Panaka came in. He took one look at me an knew I was still furious. I guess he didn?t want me tearing up the rest of the ship. So he asked in a very diplomatic way if I would practice hand to hand combat with the recruits. He said he wanted to show them what an experienced warrior could do. He made me promise not to use the Force." He looked at her gave a shrug and a little smile, " The ones who aren?t in the infirmary will be on light duties for the next week. So you see I?m not made o
  12. R U Sidious Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 17, 1999
    star 1
    Divorce! The though hadn?t even crossed her mind. He doesn?t know. I haven?t said anything I wanted to yet. He thinks I want to be with Anakin. I?ve failed him and he still wants to protect me and Anikin. Naboo for all it?s modern technology and claims of free choice was still an agricultural society at heart. It claimed to accept divorce but divorce because of adultery would affect her badly politically . All the work she and Boss Nass had done over the last 15 years to bring the Gungan and Naboo together as one people could be destroyed. And Anakin would certainly be called to explain his actions before the Jedi Council. He probably would never be a Jedi Knight. They would demand he leave. By letting her file because of neglect he cleared the way. The unity of the Naboo and Gungan would not suffer. She and Anakin could eventually marry. Anikin could still become a Jedi Knight. But she did not want to marry Anakin. She did not want a divorce. Did he?

    "I?m ashamed and sorry. I treated you cruelly the last time I was home. You were still bed ridden. I was so angry with you for not being with me when little Qui-Gon died. The healer had told me they almost lost you. But even that didn?t soften my heart. All that kept going through mind was that I was alone and had to watch little Qui-Gon?s life force slip away. That you ???."

    "Deserved to be alone when I lost the baby"

    He didn?t say anything just nodded his head.

    She laid a hand on his arm. "I felt the same way. That I deserved to be alone."

    He laid his hand on top of hers "It?s been a long time since you finished one of my sentences. I?m sorry you had to finsh that one. But don?t ever think again you deserved to be alone."

    "Ben, Obi-Wan I?m sorry for what happened with Anakin. I never planed for it to happen. I was so lonely, hurting so much. He was here to pick up the pieces. You?ve been gone so much the last 3 years. Every time the Jedi Council or the Senate call you leave. I know it?s part of the job. I?m not going to make excuses. What I did was wrong. Can you ever forgive me?"

    He leaned over and placed a kiss on her forehead. "Yes, will you forgive me not being here when you needed me most?" This time she just nodded her head. He pulled back and looked down at her, "Ami I wasn?t the only one who didn?t say no to duty when I could have. Remember that when you marry Anakin. I?d better go I?ll be staying with Panaka if you need me. He all ready knows something is wrong. He wont ask a lot of questions that I don?t feel like answering." He couldn?t help but smile. He saw her puzzled look and said, "When I left the ship this morning he said he was glad when I got upset I wasn?t on the bridge on near the hyperdrive."

    He started to pull on his boots.

    "Ben I don?t want to marry Anakin. I don?t want a divorce. Do you?

    [This message has been edited by R U Sidious (edited 03-02-2000).]
  13. Jedi-Jade Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 21, 1999
    star 4
    No! Obi doesn't want a divorce! Write more!
  14. R U Sidious Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 17, 1999
    star 1
    Jedi Jade thanks for the comments I'm having a blast writing this. Except my back and shoulders are killing me. My husband keeps teasing me about Tourchering Obi-Wan. Jedi Jane just drove nail in his back. I've got him loseing 2 children , suviving a war losing his padawan and wife. If you havenn't read Obi-Wan's Shotgun Wedding you might want too. there's a slight conection comming up. I like Ben and Ami together too.
  15. R U Sidious Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 17, 1999
    star 1
    sorry it's Jane Jinn who wrote Obi-Wan's Shotgun Wedding
  16. R U Sidious Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 17, 1999
    star 1
    Panaka?s !!!

    He was LEAVING!!!!!

    Marry Anakin? He still didn?t understand. She had to stop him. He couldn?t leave now. Not now when they were just beginning to find each other again.

    "Ben, I don?t want to marry Anakin. I don?t want a divorce. Do you?"

    The words came out of her so fast and with such force the room seemed to vibrate. Ben dropped the boot he had picked up it landed on his foot. "OW !" It was his turn to be stunned.

    "What?"

    "Ben, I don?t want a divorce. Do YOU?"

    "But your feelings about Anakin they?re so strong. That I thought?."

    "Ben I have always loved Anakin. There was never any question about that. He is special to me. He always will be. But I am not IN love with Anakin. I am IN love with you. I have been since that day I fell into your arms."

    A mental picture of a 14 year old girl flashed through his mind. Her hands on his bare chest, her heart racing, her wide eyes staring at Qui-Gon. She smelled of lilacs. At first he had been irritated with her. After all that had happened didn?t she realize that they were in a war. Qui-Gon needed to sleep when he could. Here she was waking him up. And standing way to close to where Qui-Gon?s light saber lay on the sleep couch next to him. If he had accidentally hurt her Qui-Gon never would have forgiven himself. What did the child want Qui-Gon to come out and play? She said something about Panaka. He?d said something to her about being careful. Then Qui-Gon gave them both a very stern look. Qui-Gon finally said he?d be there. She nodded and ran out the door. Leaving the sent of lilacs behind her. Then Qui-Gon began questioning him about what he was doing. He?d tried to brush it off as nothing. But Qui-Gon didn?t believe him. The rest of the way to Coruscant Oui-Gon and Panaka had kept all the ?young people? on board extremely busy. So that when they had any down time all they wanted to do was collapse and sleep.









    [This message has been edited by R U Sidious (edited 03-03-2000).]
  17. Jane Jinn Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 12, 2000
    star 5
    Jane Jinn is eagerly awaiting the connection!

    This is really more mature than a lot of other stories in this forum. I find myself being drawn into this definitely adult drama and I'm intrigued to find out more. I had to snort at the idea of Obi-Wan putting all those recruits in the infirmary while working off his anger. Good! Now keep going!
  18. Knight Obi Wan Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Dec 17, 1999
    star 3
    Oh man, this is incredible! I guess everyone will know to stay out of Obi Wan's way when he gets mad. Please, you've got to keep going! This draws you in and doesnt' let you go!

  19. Darth Dismembered Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Sep 24, 1999
    star 1
    Good. Very good. Keep up the good work.



    Darth D

    -The nuttiest Darth around-

    *******

    P.S. Please don't let them get a divorce.
  20. Jedi-Jade Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 21, 1999
    star 4
    I am going to sit infront of the computer until you post next! Please hurry!
  21. The Butler Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 18, 1999
    star 4
    Wow! When I first saw the title, I thought it would be just another take on what Amidala and Obi-Wan would be like if they fell in love and got married. Instead, I found this very mature, intriguing story on a very problematic marriage.

    What can I say? I read your story, and I see older, sadder characters, struggling with their own doubts and desires. I wonder about what will happen next and what kind of person Anakin really is. (The worshipping lover or the seductive adulterer?)

    This great work! Please post more!
  22. R U Sidious Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 17, 1999
    star 1
    "Ben?"

    "What?"

    "Do You Want A Divorce?" She said it slowly hoping to bring him back to her. He had a far away look in his eyes. Like he was looking into another time and place. Maybe he saw her and Anakin. Please God don?t let him ever see Anakin and I together. She looked down. Now when she thought about it she couldn?t believe it was her. But it was. She?d taken off her clothes. She?d said the words ("I love you Anakin?.. I want you Anakin?.. I need you Anakin. ? Make love to me Anakin?..") The words haunted her now. The cost Amidala the cost. And she let Anakin touch her as only Ben had before. No. Not like Ben. Anakin had consumed her. His need for her was so strong. It had almost smothered her. He left her empty. She could feel the cool dry stone floor on her back. She shivered. ("Yes I?ll go away with you Anikin.") More words to haunt her.

    "Ami?"

    "Yes?"

    "Are you all right? What are you afraid of?"

    "That you want a divorcee . That you will leave me forever. You?ll never touch me again." It wasn?t what had made he just shiver but it was the truth.

    "Ami I can?t imagine anything that would make me leave you forever. I thought you wanted to be free of me. I?d never try to keep you with me against your will. As for never wanting to touch you that?s impossible." He stopped. The argument before little Qui-Gon?s funeral. He had thrown her out of his apartment at the temple. Said he???.What had he said? He was so angry. So hurt. He?d said he couldn?t stand the sight of her. Then Anikin had taken her to the Naboo senator?s quarters. Tears ran down his face. "Ami, I?m so sorry for what I said to you before the funeral. Please forgive me."

    Ben was asking for HER forgiveness again! "I knew it was your pain talking. That you didn?t mean it"

    "But I didn?t think about your pain."

    "Sometimes it?s hard to think about anything but your own pain. I know that now." She looked over at him, "If you need to hear your forgiven, you are. Do you want a divorce?"

    He smiled realizing he really hadn?t answered her question. He came over and wrapped his arms around her. "No I don?t want a divorce. I?ve loved you since you fell into my arms. When I?m in my right mind nothing could ever make me not want to touch you."

    "Not even this?"

    Not even this." He smiled at her. "If you need to hear your forgiven you are. It?s not your fault. I practically pushed you into??."

    "His arms?"

    "Yes. You finished my sentence. It feels great to have you doing that again. "

    "I thought of another word but decided ?arms ? was less painful"

    He grinned at her "I know."

    They laughed. He looked down at her.

    "Besides where else in the Galaxy could I find another woman who shared my strange sense of humor."

    The laughed again, together. It felt wonderful. She had always heard that laughter was the best healer. Now she was beginning to believe it.

    "Ben, what do we do now?"

    "I don?t know." He pulled back from her and put his hands on her face. "Ami, I promise I wont ever neglect you again. You have my word as a Jedi."

    "I?d rather it was your word as my husband." She touched his wedding band.

    "You have my word as your husband, I?ll never neglect you again."


    [This message has been edited by R U Sidious (edited 03-03-2000).]
  23. darth dude Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Apr 16, 2000
  24. darth dude Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Apr 16, 2000
    After much meditation and concentration, a very wise Jedi said,"MOOOOOOORRRRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
  25. R U Sidious Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 17, 1999
    star 1
    Just so everyone knows I'm Mrs. R U Siddious. My husband signed up last summer. He doesn't care if I use his name. He's the computer opperator. I'm a janitor at a university.
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