Spok, WA Crappy Valentines Day...

Good morning everyone,

So, I woke up sick, and stayed home from work today. I couldn't sleep at all last night, and I think being sick is due in part to how I've been feeling lately...

Warning: The following post contains mushy, lovey-dovey related stuff, reader discression is advised.

Ok, so with Valentines day being a flop (as it frequently is for me) I got to thinking, I've been single for a while now, and for the most part, I welcomed it. It gave me more time to focus on school, my job, my hobbies, Star Wars, games, and friends, but there is one thing I'm starting to miss. I'm starting to miss the companionship of a girlfriend, having someone to spend special moments with, someone who can "be there" when you need it the most, lately, I've been feeling lonely. I miss having someone to cuddle next to durring a good movie (or a bad one ) I miss knowing that someone truly cares for me. I miss having a best friend who I can always count on to be thinking of me. I miss hanging out for no other reason than being around my friend. I miss having a shoulder to cry on when things don't always go my way, and I like providing a shoulder that can catch a few tears when my best friend needs it most. I feel that up until now, I've been able to fill this gap with other things, be it school, work, or other. But now, for some reason, it's not filling it like it used to. The loneliness is catching back up to me.

Let me say, I love you guys. You are the BEST group of friends I have ever had. Alfredo and Noelle, you two are awesome, and you have something truly special, don't forget that. Nick, hang in there, you're a YODApimp! Erich, I hope all the best for you! You deserve a good woman at your side! Amy, how should I put this, you are teh leet b! w00t! You almost beat me in Halo 2 last night! (and you're cute too ) Casey... our digital pimp... I know we have our differences, but you still rock! The other day at the mall was fun! Chris, I love your dedication to Star Wars, you are an inspiration to SW geeks everywhere! Joe, we miss you!!! Come back!!! Nat, your boyfriend is so lucky to have you, treat him well. Kelli, I know I don't say this enough (or if I've ever said it ), but your are an amazing woman, you are one of the coolest girls I have ever met, don't ever change! You guys are all incredible and this group would not be the same without you.

And while I have a love for this group, it still cannot replace the lonliness inside that I have felt lately. I'd like to address this next statement and following questions to the ladies in the group (as they mostly pertain to their gender). I have a flaw (go figure ), for some reason, I seem to always be looked at by women as the "brother" type friend, what is it that I do or say that puts me in this kind of position with women? And is this a big stumbling block for me? Is this the nice way of telling a guy, "It ain't gonna happen, ever" before he even asks? Because that would be severly depressing. I mean, I love being a buddy, but I feel sometimes that perhaps I am too much of a buddy, so much that the idea of a serious relationship becomes out of the question for my "buddies"...

*sigh*

PS-This is not a plea to get "set-up" by anyone, I still want to find love on my own terms

 

jon,

*wiping mascara out from under my eyes* i think it is only fitting that i use my historic 20th post to reply to your tear-jerking manifesto.

first let's clear up some misconceptions:
1) i DID beat you at halo 2 (once)

2) not everyone thinks of you in a "buddy" way. like the girls at work who think you're cute and particularly the one who is obsessed with you. now i know you don't like them back, but still, it means they do exist...

3) this will not last forever. someone liked you once (to my knowlege anyway), and someone is bound to do it again (this is what i tell myself anyway )


i don't really know what else to say except that i know exactly how you feel (and the loneliness scabs over after awhile, like when you have to pee really really bad). and i think i speak for everyone when i say that you're a great guy (and cute too ) so don't sweat it.



Edit:

4) there is a 'd' in knowledge.

 

Thanks Amy, You're swell! That helped to cheer me up a bit (I also just beat Half-Life 2 )

 

I try to treat him well I think he'd say that I am doing an okay job of it... maybe

\\Warning: By reading this, you knowingly step into a glimpse of the incoherency known as Nat's brain. It often makes little sense and only confuses, but there are the rare times where it is reasonable and sometimes even helpful. For your sake, I hope the following is a rare time. (Spelling errors reign supreme )//

The "buddy only" syndrome pretty much was the bane of my existence until I met Bevan. Which during high school drove me nuts. I was always boy crazy and would always know who my crushes liked because they saw me as one of the guys and saw no harm in telling me. Now forgive the fact that the adult dating world is (slightly) more mature than the high school scene (in most cases). Anyway, that's not the point.

*smacks head* I forgot the point Man this post will take forever if I keep getting distracted.

*ponders on where the train of thought must have been heading*

I'd like to address this next statement and following questions to the ladies in the group (as they mostly pertain to their gender). I have a flaw (go figure ), for some reason, I seem to always be looked at by women as the "brother" type friend, what is it that I do or say that puts me in this kind of position with women?

Okay, this one is hard to answer because it is usually a case by case basis and because the only interactions I've seen of you with women is within our group.

With my own experience as being just the buddy, I asked some of the guys that I constantly flirted with, why it was that they could only see me as a friend or a sister. One of the replies I got back most often was I was to eager to do things that were the typical guy activities (tackle football, wrestling, etc...) and that they didn't see me doing "girly" things often enough. Which obviously doesn't apply to you . The other thing was that I was to open in my communication with them in regards to anything and everything but how I felt about them. This could be what does it for you as well. That is if you don't express how you feel in a matter of fact way, since often subtlity is wasted. Sometimes it can be the case of a mutual attraction at the start of the relationship, but when no signs of affection can be distinguished over natural friendliness the girl can often times convince herself that all you want to be is friends, and thus close her mind off to the possiblity of anything more than that later on, since the mind can be very convincing.

And is this a big stumbling block for me?

You are an attractive guy with a great personality. You used to talk about galaxies a bit much, but now I think you've found a balance. I'd say it's not a big stumbling block for you, just another challenge to overcome to make the reward of a great relationship all the sweeter.

Yes waiter, that glass is half full.

Is this the nice way of telling a guy, "It ain't gonna happen, ever" before he even asks?

There's a nice way???

Again it varies from girl to girl. Some girls treat you like a brother because it is there way of protecting themselves from diappointment when they realize that you don't like them as more than that in return. Others, it is because they don't see you as more than that. And there are still others that don't even realize that they are doing that. *sarcasm alert* Don't you just love it when generalizations don't fit the majority???

Because that would be severly depressing. I mean, I love being a buddy, but I feel sometimes that perhaps I am too much of a buddy, so much that the idea of a serious relationship becomes out of the question for my "buddies"...

Okay, I have a question for you. Is it out of the question because you asked her and she said no? Or is it out of the question because you decided not to take the risk of finding out? Just curious because

 

Nat, you are awesome! I'm going to have to stew over what you've posted for a while, then I'll post back with something good to say But for right now, "24" is almost on (I'm addicted to that show!!!) so I'll be away from the board watching 24 and paying bills Oh well...

 

Enjoy the show.

*goes to dig up the links to the banner specs*

 

I love that show! I just wish I had someone to watch it with... *sobs* Just joking... or am I?

 

Info on banner dimensions.



She's out there.

*now has "Somewhere out there" stuck in her head*

 

Thanks Nat! I should get it done either tomorrow at work, or at home, it all depends on how much free time I have at work. I was thinking about chopping up that old group pic, and putting us all in front of a cantina backdrop, I'll keep thinking about it though, if nothing else, this could be a temp one.

I got lots of sleep today, and I feel slightly better (physically fine, emotionally still a bit rocky) Thanks Nat and Amy for your encouraging words! I love you guys! Goodnight all...

 

Goodnight and take care! And a temporary banner is fine

 

Looks like I might get around to it today after all By the way, Morning everyone!

 

Morning You just can't leave this thread to rest can you

 

Note: this post will be kind of random because I'm at work and keep getting interuptted. That and I can't spell!
Wow, John!
The depth of your post impressed me, and I've know you for a while!
I hope and pray all the best for you as well. You deserve a good woman by your side to encourage you and occasionally slap you around to keep you in line
I know the pain and frustration of trying to find that one. God and I have had lengthy conversations about whether or not it is ever going to happen. He keeps telling me to wait and I keep struggling with that whole patience thing (we all know just how patient a person I can be. I rarely go to the doctor's).
I know the depth of the same "flaw" that you have. There was a time that I knew about 14 girls (roughly) who all enjoyed using my shoulder to cry on, beat on, or rip off depending on what a member of the male sex did that day.
However, and it took about a year for me to learn this, being that brother allows a trust to form that is so critical in any friendship. You may be a buddy today, but girls (and the females of the group can back me up)will consider dating all of their guy friends. This consideration may not last one but they do consider it. Which means that you may not always be the "buddy". It does seem to drag on indefinitely at times
One other thing, before this gets too long. God's got your back. Don't ever forget that.
Edit: Sorry it took so long for me to reply. I didn't get online at all yesterday.
Also, you didn't tell me about beating Half Life 2, you jerk!
And (I keep coming up with more things to say and this post might get ridiculously long) I think we should go to Australia because girls there dig the American accent.

 

Disclaimer: I am in no way an expert and can only speak out of my own experience and observations.

Nat, it's OK. We still love you!

And this post is our longest yet! Let's keep going.
Apparently love is the one thing we can all agree on

 

Sound advice, Erich.

Then again, it IS John we're talking about.

 

And who are you?

 

A random person who had a crappy Valentines Day, knows you and knows John. A person who quotes a guy named Tralmek and has an apparent obsession with HAWTpants.

Any guesses now?

 

Good to know you all love me in spite of myself

 

i have a feeling that eledaia and vilas may get along reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally well seeing as they both have a penchant for torturing jarus.

 

Not to mention that it seems he likes Dathomir as well

 

Don't give Tral too much credit... he gets along with anyone who's ever taken a stab at me... which at this point is probably everyone in the group. And he's a bigger fan of Mon Calamari than Dathomir...

 

Good to know, just saw the sig "Vilas of Dathomir" and assumed

*opens mouth to argue and realizes that I have as well*

Hmmm... Do you like being outnumbered?

 

So, I'm a little depressed again, I kind of got chewed out at work today for doing good work, go figure... people were complaining that I was building ads (fantastically designed ads, I might add...) in Photoshop and that they couldn't figure out how to edit them (show's how dumb/lazy most of our designers are) so I got chewed out a bit by my boss... plus, some of the Ad Reps were a bit peaved about this, oh well...

 

That sucks You shouldn't be punished for good work.

 

You know, I think that one of the reasons I have a crappy love life, is due to the fact that I have a pretty thick skull, and when women are interested in me, or show interest, I usually don't pick up on it, until it's too late... If women would just tell me that they're interested, it would make it a lot easier...

*sigh*