Crushed (JA) 3 May story complete, thanks for reading!

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction Stories--Classic JC Board (Reply-Only)' started by Jane Jinn, Apr 15, 2002.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. Jane Jinn Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 12, 2000
    star 5
    Title: Crushed
    Author: Jane Jinn
    E-mail: kh.goldmund@ki.comcity.de
    Category: Angst, hurt/comfort
    Rating: PG-13 for one mild sexual situation and some mild violence
    Archive: JAFD, others please ask first
    Spoilers: None
    Disclaimer: Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon belong to George Lucas. I?m just borrowing them.
    Summary: Obi-Wan develops a crush on a girl, but where will his feelings lead him?
    Time frame: Obi-Wan is 16

    Special thanks to Cassia for the plot bunny. I?m sure she doesn?t recognise it anymore, now that I?m done with it, but thanks anyway!

    Constructive criticism welcomed with open arms.

    *****

    "Obi-Wan!? The girl?s voice was surprised and delighted at the same time, and Obi-Wan Kenobi looked up from the bread rolls that he was separating in order to hand them out, one at a time, to the homeless and hungry citizens who?d gathered at the soup kitchen. It was one of a few kitchens on the lower levels of Coruscant that the Jedi Temple helped to maintain, and this week, Obi-Wan and his master Qui-Gon Jinn were on the roster to help out.

    "Phar!? he exclaimed in the same tone of voice, looking at the girl he?d met while ?volunteering? at a rehabilitation program of the Coruscant Correctional Facility a year before. It had been his master?s idea, a way of keeping Obi-Wan busy during a period of physical therapy for an injured arm. Obi-Wan felt himself blushing slightly as he replied He hadn?t seen Phar Swife since his arm had mended completely and his volunteer time had ended, but he?d found himself thinking about her occasionally. This wasn?t where he had expected to see her again, however.

    "Look at you,? Phar Swife laughed. ?You?ve grown up. How old are you now, seventeen??

    "Sixteen,? Obi-Wan corrected her. He remembered that Phar wasn?t quite a year older than he was.

    "You look much more mature,? Phar assured him. ?Must be the Jedi in you.?

    Obi-Wan felt himself blushing slightly as he asked, ?What are you doing here? I thought you had a foster family on the other side of Coruscant.?

    Phar shot a guarded glance to the dark, brooding young man next to her and there was, for an instant, an awkward silence. Then she used her entire arm to indicate the four or five males in line behind them, all wearing the same shade of dusky red jackets. Like Phar?s, the other jackets were also dirty, and even torn in places. ?Oh, you know. I missed my brothers.?

    "Brothers?? Obi-Wan frowned slightly. As far as he knew, Phar only had one--but then he looked again at the group, which included a small, miserable-looking Rodian and a mangy-furred Togorian. Phar had sometimes spoken about her ?family?, meaning the small swoop gang she?d met up with on the lower levels. ?Oh, you mean the gang brothers.?

    "Yeah, the gang, yeah. But I?m careful now! I?m reformed after my little spell in Coruscant?s Correctional Facility Three Oh Eight.? She smiled that smile, the one that made her entire face light up, then elbowed the dark young man. ?Isn?t that right, Drive??

    So that was Hyperdrive, or just plain Drive. She?d spoken about him the most, as he was her real brother. Obi-Wan had got the impression that he cared quite a lot about his little sister. Now, without smiling, Drive simply looked at Obi-Wan and nodded. ?We make sure she?s careful.?

    "Careful not to steal, or careful not to get caught?? Obi-Wan wondered, smiling back. Phar?s smile was infectious, as he well remembered. He?d always come away from a meeting with Phar with a grin on his face, and now he wondered why Drive wasn?t grinning along with them.

    "Read my mind, Jedi, then you?ll know the answer already!? she joked, her eyes twinkling. Obi-Wan found himself hoping she?d flash that smile again, but although it teased the corners of her lips, she didn?t let it break all the way through.

    "Come on, come on, stop holding up the line,? Drive growled, giving Phar a slight shove with his hip.

    "Sorry,?she giggled, then leaned forward and whispered, ?He always gets grumpy when he?s hungry. His stomach works at hyperspac
  2. Healer_Leona Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 7, 2000
    star 9
    Ohhh... a new Jane Jinn thread!!! :D :D

    Hmmm, from Drive's reaction to Obi-Wan I wonder how much talking of him Phar has done??? I liked how Obi sympathized with Phar's comments of her brother's appetite and his enjoying being called good-looking by her.

    Post often, post soon!! :) :)



  3. jodiwent Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Feb 11, 2000
    star 4
    What a pleasent surprise to see this started already :)

    I can tell I am really going to like this one.
  4. shanobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 11, 2001
    star 4
    Yes, this does look interesting :) I'm anxious to see just where you go with it.

    I'll be checking back in.
  5. Jedi-Jade Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 21, 1999
    star 4
    I was looking for a new story to start following, and it looks like I've found what I was looking for!

    Keep up the great work!
  6. CYNICAL21 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 8, 2001
    star 4
    Nice, intriguing beginning, JJ. I keep telling myself I do NOT need to get hooked on any more fics - unless I can learn how to give up such boring pastimes as sleeping. :D

    But I figure I can always make room for just one more. Right?

    Post soon, OK?
  7. Ginger_Jedi Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 4, 2001
    star 6
    Yay! New Jane Jiin fic :D

    I'm already hooked. Everything seems so happy and laa dee daa but I'm thinking sinister times are ahead...

    Of course that could just be me reading one too many dark fics *nudges CYNICAL21* heh
  8. Lieutenant_Page Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 17, 2001
    star 4
    This is good..I'm hooked...
  9. Abbi_Cee Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 3, 2000
    star 4
    Great, a new story! I'm already hooked. :)
  10. Jenn-Kenobi Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 3, 2001
    star 3
    uh oh.... :eek:

    Great beginning, Jane! I can't wait to see what happens. :D
  11. Mistress_Renata Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Sep 9, 2000
    star 4
    The long-promised, much awaited... Attack of the What? No, Jane's new story, what did you THINK I meant? [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh]

    So Phar's done time? And she's still involved with a gang? She seems so nice...

    Oh dear... (gets out her climbing harness, there's probably cliffhangers ahead)
  12. PadawanKitara Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2001
    star 5
    Jane, I wasn't expecting this to pop up so soon. A nice surprise :)
  13. Tahiri Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 9, 2001
    star 4
  14. Jane Jinn Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 12, 2000
    star 5
    Boy, I never reckoned with so many new readers! Thank you all for reading and replying; Healer Leona, Jodiwent, Shanobi, Jedi-Jade, Cynical21, Ginger Jedi, Lieutenant Page, Abbi-Cee, Jenn-Kenobi, Mistress Renata, PadawanKitara, and *gasps for air* Tahiri. I hope you're not disappointed with where I take this fic, and yes, there's always room for just one more story (at least -I- think so.) Cliffhangers? Drat, I knew I forgot something! ;) I think I'll have to go back and create some, otherwise it would be too boring.

    *****

    Entering the Temple again, Obi-Wan saw a familiar initiate standing on one side of the great hall. The boy was tall and slender in an awkward kind of way, and when he caught sight of master and padawan, he bounced forward. ?Hi, Obi-Wan, hi, Master Jinn!?

    "Hi, Dyar,? said Obi-Wan, groaning inwardly and hoping that Qui-Gon would simply greet the boy in passing, so that Obi-Wan would have an excuse not to stop.

    But Qui-Gon stopped and smiled back. ?Hello, Dyarbin.?

    "I built a new droid! Look!?

    "Again?? Obi-Wan asked.

    Qui-Gon had already glanced down, and Obi-Wan did as well, trying not show the touch of impatience that came over him. An indeterminate amount of legs or arms extended outwards from an ungainly jumble of parts. Two of the appendages had caught hold of Qui-Gon?s robe and now the droid was pulling itself up, hand over hand (or rather, pincer-grip over pincer-grip). As it got closer and closer to Qui-Gon?s hair, Obi-Wan could not help smiling.

    "Can it go down as well?? Qui-Gon asked mildly.

    "Of course!? Dyarbin spoke a command, and the droid reversed direction. ?What do you think, Obi-Wan??

    "Wonderful,? Obi-Wan said, trying hard not to sound sarcastic. Although he couldn?t see what use a robe-climbing droid would be, he still felt a wave of appreciation for Dyarbin?s ability and imagination. He himself had done a lot of tinkering when he?d been that age, and knew how difficult it could be. He didn?t do a lot anymore, as his schedule didn?t allow it. His Jedi training took priority now, and there were always new lessons to learn, such as that essay about lawmaking he?d been working on that morning. Of course he?d kept the miniature starfighters that he?d assembled six years ago--but they?d been built from a kit with instructions. Dyarbin just threw things together and made them work. It was his one obvious talent--he didn?t seem to be good at anything else, especially not physical things like lightsaber technique or acrobatics.

    "If you attached a small brush to one arm, it could climb up the curtains and clean the curtain rods,? Qui-Gon suggested in such a tone of voice that Obi-Wan could not tell if he was serious or not.

    Dyarbin laughed. ?That?s a good idea, Master Jinn! This arm, or that one??

    "Why don?t you show it to your group mother and let her decide?? Obi-Wan asked, hoping that Dyarbin would take the hint and go.

    "I will!? Dyarbin said as the droid clattered to the floor, but he made no move to leave. Instead, he commanded it to turn it around. ?Do you want to see it climb up your robe now, Obi-Wan??

    "Don?t you have to be at meditation now?? Obi-Wan asked more pointedly, stepping to one side to avoid the droid. He was familiar with Dyar?s schedule now because the boy had told it to him. In fact, the initiate had been making a point recently of bumping into Obi-Wan in the hall and talking incessantly to him while showing off his latest droid creation.

    "Yes, but I finished early,? Dyarbin explained off-handedly.

    "A Jedi never skimps on meditation,? Obi-Wan told him firmly, repeating what his own master had often told him.

    "Yes, but when the Force shows me how to adjust the motor, why should I meditate any longer about it?? Dyarbin asked in complete innocence.

    "There?s more to meditate about than just motors,? Qui-Gon said with a smile. ?Go on, now.?

    "If I do well at meditation, will you come and spar with me, Obi-Wan?? Dyarbin asked. He was good at ignoring things he didn?t want to hear.

    Obi-W
  15. Kit' Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Oct 30, 1999
    star 5
    Sounds soo cool! MOre soon Jane?

    Kit
  16. imzadi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 19, 2000
    star 4
    You started posting! :D Still great the second time around, Jane!
  17. Abbi_Cee Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 3, 2000
    star 4
    Sounds like there are multiple layers of meaning in that title. Obi developes a crush on a girl while a young initiate has a crush on him. I gather Qui-Gon has more than just a sabre lesson planned for Obi, perhaps one in tolerance? :)
  18. CYNICAL21 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 8, 2001
    star 4
    Lesson? There's a lesson here?

    Excuse me - but I'm way too busy drooling over the image of Obi-Wan secured with a rope - in any way, shape or form. [face_love]

    Now why is it that I have this idea that the title is going to refer to a whole lot more than Obi's feelings for a girl - or an initiate's feelings for Obi?

    "Crushed" can mean an awful lot of things - way beyond the obvious. [face_mischief] Right, Jane?
  19. Healer_Leona Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 7, 2000
    star 9
    Ahhh, Obi-Wan should remember when he was a younger boy and try to have more patience with Dyar... or at least learn to phase his responses to his Master a bit better. I liked how Obi-Wan smiled as the ddroid got closer to his Master's hair and the suggestion Qui gave Dyar on what the droid could be used for.

    Laughed at Qui-Gon offering his Padawan a 'challenging' session of sparring!!

    Great post Jane! :) :)
  20. Ginger_Jedi Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 4, 2001
    star 6
    Cool lesson Qui-Gon! Heh [face_mischief]

    Crushed is a cool title...can't help but wonder what/who will be crushed...

    *hides [face_devil] face*

    :p

    More soon please!
  21. Tahiri Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 9, 2001
    star 4
    [face_laugh]

    Qui's gonna beat the crap outta Obi, isn't he?

    Hehe 8-} Poor Obi...
  22. Mistress_Renata Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Sep 9, 2000
    star 4
    Poor Obi! I used to know a Dyar type when I was in school... worse than Velcro, there was no way to get rid of her!
  23. PadawanKitara Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2001
    star 5
    lessons in patience, tolerance and working woth those not as gifted as our favorite youngster. Not to mention how to handle annoying students who are always underfoot. Velcro seems like a good analogy since that is what I call my dog when he just won't go away.
  24. Jenn-Kenobi Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 3, 2001
    star 3
    Dyarbin reminds me of someone... [face_devil]

    Jane, you have Obi done perfectly! :)

    [face_laugh] Qui's smart. :D
  25. Jane Jinn Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 12, 2000
    star 5
    I'm sorry this post is so short and lacking in cliffhangers. I'm worried that all my readers will abandon me at this point, so let me hastily point out that to-morrow's post will definitely be longer and hopefully more interesting.

    The meaning of the title? Lessons for Obi-Wan to learn? I don't think I should respond to these comments just yet ... maybe later. :D

    *****

    Obi-Wan lowered himself onto the couch with a groan, wincing as he accidentally rubbed a welt. He?d been right. It had been a very challenging session -- he was covered with lightsaber burns and could barely move for exhaustion.

    "Take your tunics off and I?ll put some salve on your back,? Qui-Gon said, heading into the refresher to get the tube.

    Obi-Wan obeyed silently, sitting forward so that his master could reach the burns across his back and shoulders. The bacta salve was cool and made him jump at first, but then it turned warm as it began the healing process on each injury.

    "Master?? asked Obi-Wan as he pulled his tunic back on and turned around to face Qui-Gon again. ?Why do I feel as though I?ve failed when I have a session like this with you, and why doesn?t Dyarbin ever feel as though he?s failed when he does worse than this with me??

    "You haven?t failed. I'm proud of you for doing your best, and I certainly wasn?t making it easy for you,? Qui-Gon replied, reaching out to ruffle Obi-Wan?s hair. Obi-Wan smiled at the sign of affection.

    ?And how do you know that Dyarbin doesn?t feel as though he?s failed?? Qui-Gon continued.

    "Well, he doesn?t act like he?s sad or anything. He never goes away with a frown on his face. He says ?ouch? when he gets burned, but other than that, he doesn?t seem to care what happens when we spar.?

    "He probably doesn?t,? Qui-Gon said. With a small smile, he added, ?I think we both know what Dyarbin cares about the most.?

    "But if he doesn?t care, then why does he always ask me??

    "It sounds to me like a case of hero worship,? Qui-Gon announced, his eyes twinkling in amusement.

    "Hero worship?? Obi-Wan was surprised.

    "You said he was ambushing you, building a new droid every day for you to look at. He wants your attention, Obi-Wan, because he admires you. And he asks you to spar, because that gives you the chance to do something that you like doing, while being with him, which is what he likes.?

    "Oh,? Obi-Wan replied, suddenly seeing his meetings with Dyarbin in a new and different light. ?I think I understand.?

    He?d had his own experiences with that feeling of wanting attention and approval from somebody that he looked up to. But as he and Qui-Gon knelt down to meditate, Obi-Wan found his thoughts drifting to Phar and how he suddenly wanted -her- attention and her approval, especially if it came with that smile again.
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.