Crushed (JA) 3 May story complete, thanks for reading!

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction Stories--Classic JC Board (Reply-Only)' started by Jane Jinn, Apr 15, 2002.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. Mistress_Renata Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Sep 9, 2000
    star 4
    Qui-Gon, just say no. I have no trouble believing that her leaving the foster family was entirely her own choice; indeed, I wonder if they have any clue where she is? Bet her face is on the side of a galactic milk carton somewhere...

    Oh, dear. I'm afraid we're going to watch Obi make an utter fool of himself and get in deep doggy-doo before the end of this... :(

    Do you guys realize that my "M" "O" "R" and "E" keys almost have the lettering worn off them? :cool:
  2. Jedi-Jade Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 21, 1999
    star 4
    Qui-Gon better think twice before allowing Obi-Wan to visit a girl alone! ;)

    Keep up the great work, I look foward to reading the next post!
  3. ewen Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 11, 2001
    star 4
    Shouldn't there be a "law" against Jedis killing vrelts with their lightsabers?!?!Great post.Check back tomorrow.PEACE Ewen
  4. The_Dead_Parrot Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jan 1, 2002
    star 1
    I just found this one. Interesting set up. I don't really like Phar. It's probably because it seems like she's leading Obi on.
  5. Abbi_Cee Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 3, 2000
    star 4
    Hmmm, seems like Obi-Wan could use a bit more meditation on tolerance, but I suspect Phar is taking up all his thoughts now. Will Qui-Gon let Obi see Phar or will he try to nip it in the bud, so to speak? I'm sure he's experienced enough to know that forbiding Obi to see Phar is inviting trouble, but how far will he let Obi go before he thinks he has to step in? Ah, the joys of parenting. ;)

    Like Jedi7 I have to wonder about the significance of Potiphar's name. Will she be like her namesake? Is Obi in for trouble?
  6. PadawanKitara Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2001
    star 5
    Potiphar??? I'm sorry but I missed the reference.

    Ah, the joys of parenting and that is why I remain childless :)
  7. Tahiri Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 9, 2001
    star 4
    I like the little robot :D I'd say more but I'm sleepy...darn Darth Real Life...
  8. Lieutenant_Page Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 17, 2001
    star 4
  9. Kit' Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Oct 30, 1999
    star 5
    Last two posts were excellant Jane! Absolutely loving it so far!

    More soon?

    Kithera
  10. jodiwent Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Feb 11, 2000
    star 4
    Either way, if Qui gives his permission or not, I have a feeling Obi is going. I also have a feeling Obi is in for it. In general, I have a bad feeling about this.

    I'm sure you'll enjoy what ever Jane has in store for poor Obi, even if you don't get the referance. ;)

  11. Jane Jinn Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 12, 2000
    star 5
    Congratulations, 7, you got it!

    Welcome aboard, Ganki and The Dead Parrot! And thanks for replying, everybody else! No need for me to complain about lack of feedback! :D I really appreciate it

    Kitara: Look in Genesis 39. :)

    Sorry that this post has no cliffhanger. Please keep reading anyway!

    *****

    Qui-Gon was silent for a long time and then finally replied, ?No.?

    Obi-Wan was silent, but in answer to his unspoken question, Qui-Gon said, ?I don?t feel it would be a good idea.?

    "Why not?? Obi-Wan asked, carefully controlling his voice so as not to sound disrespectful.

    "I do not know, not yet,? Qui-Gon mused. ?Sometimes we must trust the Force without knowing why. Perhaps if you meditate, you can tell me.?

    Obi-Wan frowned, feeling strangely defensive. Had that been a suggestion, an order, or a rebuke? He had been meditating--well, at least until he?d started thinking about Phar, and that had really only been for just a moment or two, right at the end, just one single stray thought about her smile.

    "Padawan!?

    Obi-Wan glanced up at the unusually sharp tone of voice, feeling guilty. ?Sorry, master. I was just -- thinking.?

    "I see. Take your socks off.?

    "My socks, master?? Obi-Wan asked, obediently shifting from a kneeling to a sitting position and tugging on the first one.

    Qui-Gon stood up in one fluid motion and went to the shelves on one wall of the living room, taking down a small rectangular box. When he?d removed the object from inside, Obi-Wan could see that it was a stiff feather.

    "Concentration exercises,? Qui-Gon announced. ?You will have to learn to deal with the distraction of me tickling your feet occasionally with this feather. Handstand.?

    Trying to hide his dismay, Obi-Wan put his hands down in the middle of the living room and flipped his feet up, using the Force to keep his balance.

    "The cushion from the couch.? Qui-Gon stepped closer to Obi-Wan.

    Obi-Wan levitated it into the air.

    "Your socks.?

    Obi-Wan reached out with the Force for them, too.

    "And me.?

    Size matters not, Obi-Wan reminded himself as he levitated Qui-Gon until the man?s feet were level with his eyes, careful not to bump him into the ceiling. It was taking a lot of concentration already, even without the feather, but he knew that his master was right to introduce such a difficult exercise. He knew that he?d been distracted by Phar, and that he was thinking of her at inappropriate times. He had to learn how to put her out of his mind and concentrate on the moment. But knowing how much he needed the discipline didn?t make acquiring it any easier, and at least twice, he dropped everything that he was levitating, including Qui-Gon. The session was gruelling, but mercifully brief.

    "You may get up now,? Qui-Gon announced after his second hard landing.

    Obi-Wan put his legs down and straightened up slowly, letting a wave of dizziness wash over him.

    "I believe Dyarbin is waiting for you.?

    "Yes, master.? Obi-Wan sat down to pull on his socks again, and his boots.
  12. ewen Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 11, 2001
    star 4
    I have to get up pretty early to keep up with your posts.I am totally enjoying this.I only wish Qui had asked me to take my socks off!?!?PEACE Ewen
  13. Kit' Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Oct 30, 1999
    star 5
    Cool, but poor Obi. It is soo easy to get distracted when you have other things on your mind so you can't really blame him that much....

    Someone should remind Qui-gon what it is like to have a crush...

    Kit

    More soon Jane?
  14. juwannajedi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 23, 2000
    star 4
    great posts, jane. sorry i didn't post earlier, i've been out of town at a funeral.
  15. Jenn-Kenobi Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 3, 2001
    star 3
    [face_laugh] that was too funny.... but Obi (needed) that lesson.

    More? Please?
  16. The Musical Jedi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 13, 1999
    star 5
    *laughs* I found the image of Obi-Wan bringing everything crashing down, including his master, rather humorous. I have to admit, I'll join the masses of not trusting Phar much. Why did she leave her foster home? Why is she being so forward to Obi-Wan? This can't be good. However, the story is. ;)
  17. Tahiri Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 9, 2001
    star 4
    Don't trust Phar at all, here. But that lesson Qui gave Obi was very...Qui-ish...and funny 8-}
  18. Healer_Leona Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 7, 2000
    star 9
    Qui-ish indeed Tahiri!! :D :D A wonderful lesson Jane. Loved that Obi did drop everything a couple times. So now with his Master saying no I wonder what Obi will do???
  19. Ginger_Jedi Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 4, 2001
    star 6
    heh, very funny lesson! :D [face_laugh]

    Love-sick Obi. Aww poor thing.
  20. PadawanKitara Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2001
    star 5
    very funny lesson- but did it actually sink in?
  21. Lieutenant_Page Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 17, 2001
    star 4
    Excellent post!! Nice comedy break there:)

    I'm not liking Phar either...
  22. Jane Jinn Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 12, 2000
    star 5
    So many replies, and nobody trusts Phar? ;) Well, let's read on and see if you've got good reason for your mistrust. And thanks for reading and replying, everybody!

    *****

    Dyarbin was in the hallway outside the training room when Obi-Wan arrived. He appeared to be talking to some other initiates, but as Obi-Wan got closer, the tone of their voices told him that it wasn?t exactly a pleasant conversation.

    "You gonna overpower him with that droid? Huh? Is that what it?s for??

    "Yeah, I mean, it can shoot bolts of electricity! Obi-Wan better watch out! He?s in mortal danger!? The Devaronian spoke sarcastically, but Dyarbin protested, ?No, they?re harmless, you just get a little shock. I wouldn?t hurt --?

    "You should build a whole army of droids, Dyar, you need every advantage you can get!?

    "?Cause otherwise Obi-Wan could just -- push -- you -- around!? The Bothan boy put his paws on Dyarbin?s shoulder and punctuated his words with three hard shoves that sent Dyarbin backwards into the wall.

    "Oww!? Dyarbin cried out, looking hurt and confused. Watching him reminded Obi-Wan of the times he?d been teased by others, and he felt a sudden, urgent wish for Dyarbin to defend himself, if not physically, then at least by verbally defusing the situation. But Dyarbin obviously could not think of any reply at all, nor did he even shove his way out of the attack. He simply stood there, expecting the worst. No, Obi-Wan decided, Dyarbin would never be chosen as a padawan. But the Temple did not exclude anybody, and tried hard to guide its children to where they could best use the talents they possessed. Dyarbin would probably end up in the Electro-Corps.

    "Hello, Dyarbin,? said Obi-Wan loudly. As he?d expected, the initiates jumped slightly, then tried to hide their surprise as they turned around to face him. They bowed respectfully and then walked away.

    "Hello, Obi-Wan,? Dyarbin said, smiling in relief. ?Do you know what? They thought I was going to try to overpower you with my droid. They thought that the electrical bolts were too strong and you might be killed! But that?s silly. I?d never build anything that could hurt anybody. You didn?t get hurt when it shot you this afternoon, did you? It was just a little shock, right??

    "Right,? said Obi-Wan, managing to control a small burst of impatience as they went into the training room. ?Ready to spar??

    "Just a moment, Obi-Wan, I have to put Shooter away. Do you know why I call my droid Shooter? Because he can shoot little bolts of electricity.? Dyarbin grinned, then placed the droid on the floor next to the wall and fumbled for his lightsaber. ?Or did you want him to spar with us??

    "No, thank you. I think it?s enough if it?s just the two of us.?

    "Yes, you?re right.? Dyarbin gave a little giggle.

    Wincing, Obi-Wan tried not to think of Phar and how nice her laughter had sounded in comparison to this annoying whinny. He and Dyarbin bowed to each other and then each stepped back and ignited his lightsaber. There was a very long pause.

    "Well, come on, attack me,? Obi-Wan finally said.

    "Oh. Sorry.? Dyarbin came at him with an overhead chop that Obi-Wan easily parried. Dyarbin retreated a step and Obi-Wan held back from swinging his lightsaber around to the boy?s neck as he stood there considering. At length, he tried a low swing which Obi-Wan simply hopped over.

    After several minutes of defending against the painfully obvious attacks, Obi-Wan began to daydream of how much more exciting it would be if he were visiting Phar instead, and killing the vrelts or anything else that threatened her. Maybe he?d even get a borrat. That would really impress her. He?d seen a life-size holo of one once, and it had been longer than he was tall, with ferocious looking tusks, and spines, and claws. If he got one of those, Phar would give him one of her dazzling smiles as thanks -- she might even squeeze his hand. Both hands!

    Obi-Wan?s pleasant daydream was abruptly truncated by a searing pain in his arm and he cried out in surpris
  23. Mistress_Renata Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Sep 9, 2000
    star 4
    Sniff, given Phar's... "propensities", I'm sure she'd have nooo trouble getting... whatever she wants.

    Sigh. Ever want to reach into a fic & give a character a good, hard, kick in the pants? :)

    Mmmmooooorrreee... :)
  24. Jenn-Kenobi Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 3, 2001
    star 3
    Yeah, I would have to agree that sometimes I would like to give a character a good kick in the pants.

    Well, Qui-Gon has some good and truthful insight, but Obi-Wan's going to learn that the hard way isn't he?
  25. PadawanKitara Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2001
    star 5
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.