Crushed (JA) 3 May story complete, thanks for reading!

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction Stories--Classic JC Board (Reply-Only)' started by Jane Jinn, Apr 15, 2002.

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  1. The Musical Jedi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 13, 1999
    star 5
    Ummm.... I have that feeling in the pit of my stomach that means someone is about it get in big trouble...
  2. Jane Jinn Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 12, 2000
    star 5
    I have that sinking feeling that I keep forgetting to renew the update announcement in the title of the story. Apologies to anybody who might have missed a post because of that.

    SwedishJedi, thanks for coming out of lurkerdom! If I implied that my version of the Jedi Temple kept their children in innocence up to the time they were knighted, then I apologise. I meant to convey the message that I thought they kept their children isolated up to the time they became Padawans, when they would go out and get experience on their missions, but with their masters at their side to help guide them. This is one of those experiences for Obi-Wan.

    Thanks for writing, everybody! You're all on the right track with your questions about the comlink, but I'm afraid they won't be answered to-day.

    *****

    "What kind of help??

    "I?ve -- I?ve cut my hand really badly and I need some bacta. Please come, Obi-Wan! I?m afraid I might bleed to death!?

    "Phar -- I?m not allowed to come.? There was only silence, and after a few moments, he began to feel cold with worry. ?Phar? Phar, are you still there??

    "Yes ... I really need your help ...? She sounded weaker. ?The blood ... is really gushing out.?

    "Isn?t Drive there with you??

    "No -- he and everybody else have gone out.?

    "You?ve got a bandage around it, right?? Obi-Wan felt sick, knowing that she was not only hurt, but completely alone.

    "Around what??

    "Your hand,? Obi-Wan reminded her gently. She sounded distinctly shocky. People died of shock, even when their injuries weren?t life-threatening. Maybe he really should go down and help.

    "Oh ... we don?t have anything here that I can use for a bandage. I really need your help, Obi-Wan.?

    "Take your jacket off and wrap the sleeve around your wrist. Pull it tight. That should help stop the bleeding,? Obi-Wan instructed, but he didn?t like the idea of her not having anything to wear. She?d be shivering -- she really needed a warm blanket.

    There was silence except for a few rustling sounds, and then Phar asked plaintively, ?Can?t you come, Obi-Wan? Please? I really need your help. I don?t know when Drive and the others will be back -- it could be hours, maybe not even until to-night.?

    Obi-Wan considered. For that brief moment where he actually had been meditating, he thought he?d felt the Force telling him not to go. But, he told himself, it had been so brief that he couldn?t be sure of what he?d felt. And this was an emergency. He could be there and back very quickly; there was still plenty of time before his appointment with Dyarbin, so he wouldn?t even have to be late. And as for his master telling him he wasn?t allowed to leave the Temple, well -- wasn?t it supposed to be easier to get forgiveness than permission? Or so he?d once heard. He?d gladly take the punishment when he got back, if he could only be certain that Phar was all right.

    "Yes, all right,? he said. ?I?m coming. Hang on, Phar, I?ll be there as soon as I can.?

    "Great!? she squealed, sounding better already.

    Obi-Wan raced around their quarters, gathering up the emergency medical box that they kept in a cabinet in the refresher and pulling the extra blanket out of the wardrobe in his room, then ran down the corridor to the lift. At the Temple doors, however, Obi-Wan faltered. There was still a chance to turn back without having disobeyed his master. If he went on, he knew that Qui-Gon would be very disappointed in him. The thought made him wince in anticipation.

    A moment later, however, Obi-Wan found that he was thinking of how to explain to Qui-Gon that it had been an emergency. He was sure that his master would forgive him after hearing about Phar?s serious injury, and though he might still have to discipline Obi-Wan, it wouldn?t be so very bad. Obi-Wan also decided that he didn?t necessarily have to explain to his master that he?d gone against the Force, because the moment had been so fleeting that he couldn?t be sure that he?d felt anything at all, and so there was no reason to mention it in the fir
  3. Jenn-Kenobi Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 3, 2001
    star 3
    He was a Jedi. It was his duty to help those who couldn?t help themselves.

    Yes, Obi, that is true, but more importantly you have to follow the Force more even when you have these feelings it is trying to tell you now and not to ignore them.

    Oh boy....

    I just knew that she was setting him up! I know I should feel bad for Phar because she doesn't know any better. But I can't! Jane, I really really don't like Phar. Now, I am not saying she should die, just she made her bed now let her sleep in it. *sheepish smile* Wrong saying, huh? Well, I hope my meaning was clear enough.

    Poor Obi doesn't know what he just got himself into. :eek:

    More, please?
  4. jodiwent Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Feb 11, 2000
    star 4
    Obi, Obi, Obi will you never learn?

    Of course if he did we wouldn't have so much fun reading about his adventures ;)
  5. Kit' Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Oct 30, 1999
    star 5
    Great post Jane.

    I don't know who to blieve. Drive sounds bad, but I think that Phar has too many things up her sleeve that are goig to get Obi-wan in trouble.

    I liked the way that you have written everything so far. It is certainly addictive!

    Kit
  6. juwannajedi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 23, 2000
    star 4
    good post.

    and jane, I just check your most recent posts. I figure that's the easiest way to know if you've posted when I'm in a hurry.
  7. The Musical Jedi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 13, 1999
    star 5
    Ah, Obi-Wan, will you never learn? I wonder if Anakin was this bad? Of course, he also had the mind set of being the Chosen One. Anyway, I get the feeling that he will have a lot more to ask forgiveness for before he gets back to the Temple.
  8. Healer_Leona Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 7, 2000
    star 9
    *shakes head sadly*

    Big and foolish mistake Obi-Wan. Not going to help Phar, a Jedi should never refuse a request for help. The mistake was in not going immediately to your Master and explaining. Obi totally allowed his selfish feelings for her override common sense. Selfish?? Yes, his desire to be the one to help was selfish. He's neither a Knight nor a healer and I doubt has all that much experience in medical aid. Yes, in telling Qui-Gon, his master may still have not allowed him to go there, but under the circumstances of what she told him, the correct help may have been sent to her.

    Just my two credits. :D [face_blush]

    Fabulous posts Jane!! :) :)
  9. Abbi_Cee Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 3, 2000
    star 4
    Oh Obi, you should have told Phar to call 911, or its Courascant equivilant, or called Qui-Gon and begged him to go with you to help Phar. He might have been more willing to let you go if he were to go with you, but then what young man can resist being a knight in shining armor for his lady love? ;)
  10. Mistress_Renata Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Sep 9, 2000
    star 4
    Suspicions confirmed department. The sl--um, bimbo is out to set him up for something; and I'm betting she's not nearly as attracted to him as she's pretending to be.

    Not going to help Phar, a Jedi should never refuse a request for help. The mistake was in not going immediately to your Master and explaining.

    Or giving her the address of the nearest walk-in free clinic. Honestly, a cut on the hand and she gets hysterical? And she's supposed to be this street-savvy chick? Obi-Wan, think with your brain, not your pants! Sheesh...

    Jane is probably biting her lip, thinking how upset we all are, but I point out it's the mark of a talented writer to make us all dislike a character so much... :)

  11. The_Dead_Parrot Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jan 1, 2002
    star 1
    Well, someone's trying to manipulate Obi-Wan, even if ir isn't Phar.
  12. ewen Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 11, 2001
    star 4
    Great post!!!I beg to differ,Obi would never think with his pants.HA,HA,thats for that weasel Anakin to do.That was the beginning of his downfall!!!!!Although this"Anakin" does have the looks!!!"WHEW".I almost hate that he is bad.I wish someone would write a FF where at least along the way Anakin and Obi got along.It seems Obi always questioned him from the beginning,no wonder the poor kid turned to the dark side.{Read a Jedi Quest and you will see what I mean}PEACE Ewen
  13. PadawanKitara Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2001
    star 5
    Agree 100% with what Renata said. Obi-Wan may be a jedi, but he is still a male teenager, therefore hormones control.
  14. turnthePAGE Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Oct 26, 2001
    star 1
    Oh Obi-Wan...get your self together...

    EXCELLENT post BTW.. gets better all the time :)
  15. Jane Jinn Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 12, 2000
    star 5
    Thanks for all the replies, everybody, they're all so lively! I feel like I'm doing something right. :D

    And now, the post you've all been waiting for!

    *****

    "My what??

    "Your hand. You told me that you?d cut it. I brought a med-box.?

    "Oh, my hand!? Phar backed away. ?Come with me and I?ll show you. Careful, watch where you?re going.?

    Immediately and violently squashing the first flicker of suspicion, Obi-Wan followed her through a maze of tripwires in the remains of what had once been an entry hall; some were thick and obvious, others were made of threads so fine that they could hardly be seen.

    "The alarm system?s pretty primitive, I know, but it lets us know if someone or something is trying to get in,? Phar said. ?Not everybody can find a place, even down here. My room?s over here.?

    Many hundreds of years ago, Obi-Wan surmised, the gang?s hideout might once have been a luxury apartment. The room in which they emerged was not only large, but there was also a very large window in one wall, although the bottom two thirds of it had been covered over with metal plates, leaving only a thin strip at the top to admit a dubious amount of light. He could see some large crates piled in one corner. One was open, revealing what appeared to be pop-n-serve meal trays. Obi-Wan blinked in surprise. If he were seeing correctly, then why did they come to the soup kitchen in the first place?

    A corridor led to other rooms, but Phar led him in the opposite direction, to a small room branching off from the main one. He had no idea what it had once been. A library, a dining room, a kitchen? There was no window here, or else it had been covered up, and the light from the sloppily-rigged overhead fixture was dim. Debris of various broken mechanical things had been pushed into the far corner and there was a thin, dirty mattress in the small remaining space on the side by the door. Phar laid the blanket down on it and unfolded it enough to cover the mattress. ?Thanks, Obi-Wan. The Force must have really inspired you. This?ll make it much better.?

    He was able to see both her hands now, and there was no cut on either of them. Feeling confused and somehow betrayed, Obi-Wan cried, ?I thought you said you were hurt!?

    "I did say that,? Phar agreed, coming over to stand between him and the doorway. She reached out for the med-box and tossed it onto the mattress.

    "But you haven?t cut your hand.?

    "Oh, Obi-Wan. I had to say something, didn?t I? And it worked, it got you away from your master.? She smiled that smile up at him, and Obi-Wan felt his annoyance fade somewhat at the glorious sight.

    "Can you guess how I got your com code?? she asked, still beaming at him.

    He shook his head, feeling the usual compulsion to smile along with her.

    "You didn?t drop it the other day. I took it from you, and one of my friends in another gang put it through a codefinder.?

    "You took it?? Confusion drove the smile from his face and for a moment, he struggled to understand. Then realisation dawned. ?You stole it??

    "I borrowed it, Obi-Wan. I could hardly ask you for the code right in front of your master.? Phar came closer and laid her hands flat on his chest, moving them towards the opening of his robe, and then pushing the robe aside. Vaguely, Obi-Wan realised that something was making him uncomfortable, the same feeling he?d experienced when she?d squeezed the bottle of washing up liquid into the water. Eventually, he decided that it was because she was staring at him in the same intense way. Breaking eye contact, he was just about to step away from her touch when she asked, ?Are you feeling the Force right now??

    Caught completely off guard by the question, Obi-Wan managed to stammer, ?What Force? I mean, uh -- no, not just at the moment. Why??

    Phar moved her hands down his arms, sliding the robe off. It fell in a heap around his feet. ?But you?ve got to feel it or you can?t use it, right??

    "Uh, yeah, right, but --?

    Phar reached for the fastening of his belt. ?S
  16. Healer_Leona Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 7, 2000
    star 9
    *a look of stunned stupidity crosses over face*

    You want what?!? :0

    Ok, Phar's GOT to have a reasonable explanation for that request and I can't wait to find out what it is!! Talk about a shock Jane!! :) :)
  17. Kit' Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Oct 30, 1999
    star 5
    Okay Jane what in SITH is going on?

    I knew that girl was up to something...grrr, grr!

    Just say 'no!!" Obi-wan and then run for your life. That girl has serious issues if she wants you to do that!

    Kit
  18. TheSwedishJedi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 15, 2001
    star 4
    You know, when I saw the thing with her name, I was wondering if you were going to use that as the basis of your story. It seems that that's it. Of course the pregnant thing is a bit of a surprise. Obi-Wan, get your butt out of there, now. And what is she doing?

    Though I did think it funny when he couldn't remember what the Force was. lol. Keep 'em coming, Jane. :D

    ~Swede :p
  19. HaiGan Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 7, 2000
    star 4
    How did I miss this? How?? Jane, promise me every time you start a new story you send me a PM to tell me? Please??

    Now I've got to go back and read it so far...
  20. jedi7 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 8, 2002
    star 4
  21. Healer_Leona Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 7, 2000
    star 9
    Ok, I'm back.... just wanted to clarify my one statement of Jedi never refusing a request of help... obviously there are some beyond the normal realm of common decency and etiquette. :D :D
  22. Jenn-Kenobi Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 3, 2001
    star 3
    What in the seven Sith He**s does she---

    I am so surpised I can't finish what I want say.

    Obi say....

    NNNNOOOOOO!!!!! And get your cute rear out of there!!

    I think I am going to faint right now. *falls to the floor in a dead faint*
  23. ewen Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 11, 2001
    star 4
    I'm in shock.At least she is honest about trying to trap Obi,.What is it she wants, a child with force abilities.Surely OBI will get a rein on his libido and JUST SAY NO!!!!I'm a little surprised you are allowed to put that on Council FF.I guess if the"DEED" is not done, at least in script,it's O.K. PEACE Ewen
  24. Ginger_Jedi Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 4, 2001
    star 6
    :eek: :eek: OK didn't see THAT coming...

    *sprays Jenn with ice cold water* I know, it's a total shock but if you don't wake up you'll miss the next post.

    Poor Obi! Thinking with his...OK just generally NOT thinking...
  25. Abbi_Cee Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 3, 2000
    star 4
    Wow! Well that little request certainly took me by surprise! I mean I thought she was luring Obi down there for illicit purposes, but pregnant? And why Obi? Does she think she will get a Force sensitive child and why would she want one? I suppose she figures she could get welfare benefits by getting pregnant, but she could do that with any guy. And why the rush? Is she on a time limit or something? I think Obi needs to run for the safety of the temple and call Qui for help.
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