Before D is for Disaster (Qui-Gon/Dooku) Humor Vignette Written for the Take A Chance challenge

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Layren, Sep 17, 2006.

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  1. Layren Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 28, 2003
    star 5
    Title: D is for Disaster
    Author: Layren
    Characters: Qui-Gon, Dooku
    Timeframe: Qui-Gon is sixteen.
    Genre: Humor, I hope
    Summary: Dooku has accidentally taken the wrong dosage of medication...
    Author Notes: I hope this turns out halfway readable :p The challenge was Padawan Qui-Gon, a droid, Medicated Jedi Masters, a clown, romance and Naboo. I think I got it all in. The thread this challenge originated from can be found here: From Before to Beyond: the Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan Discussion Thread . I also decided to try to experiment with doing something dialogue-only.
    Disclaimer: I do not own Qui-Gon or Dooku. The Great Flanneled One does. You don't want to sue me. Move along.

    Edit - to include a link to the challenge thread this sucker came from so everyone knows who to blame :p It's not my fault... really!



    "Master are you all right?"

    "Oh yes, the clowns are delightful."

    "Ah?Master, there aren't any clowns. Are you sure you're all right? You look awfully red."

    "Red I am not, clowns there are!"

    "Now you're using Yoda syntax? Definitely something wrong with you."

    "Mock my Master I can if I want to. He was mine first!"

    "Yes Master, he was. I think we need to get you to the Healers."

    "Fine I am!"

    "Is that so? Then why are you standing on top of the table? The treaty needs to be signed, Master and we can't do it with you standing on top of it."

    "I don't care! I'm tired of these endless negotiations that don't seem to go anywhere."

    "It's unjedi-like to sulk, Master. People are staring, you really should get down."

    "No, I'm happy up here."

    "Well I'm afraid I must insist. Master!"

    "I am in charge here, learner, not you."

    "But? ow!"

    "No buts! I'm the Master, you're the learner."

    "Yes, Master."

    "Where was I?"

    "Getting off the table?"

    "Oh, yes. Where are we anyway?"

    "On Naboo. We're supposed to sign a treaty as part of a reminiscing celebration of when the treaty was originally signed."

    "That sounds boring."

    "It is, so why don't you go lie down?"

    "Ahh, perhaps I will. Excellent suggestion, Padawan."

    "I thought so."

    "Padawan, did I ever tell you about the time I fell in love with Master Nu?"

    "The library archivist? Yes, Master. You've told me. You should go to sleep."

    "Do you think Jocasta would sleep with me if I asked her?"

    "Ahhh seeing as I'm not her, I really couldn't say."

    "What a pity."

    ~*~

    "I do apologize for my Master's behavior."

    "That's all right, Padawan Jinn. We'll get the Healers down here to see if we can't figure out what's wrong with him."

    "I would be most grateful for your speed, Your Majesty."

    "Of course Padawan Jinn."

    "The Healer's droid can escort you to the Palace Med-Ward."

    "Thank you, Your Excellency."

    "Let us know what the Healers discover, Padawan Jinn."

    "I will, thank you again for your kindness, Your Majesty."

    ~*~

    "What happened?"

    "Do you remember anything Master?"

    "No. Why?"

    "No reason."

    "Your face is red, Qui-Gon. Answer me."

    "The healers say you overdosed on your blood pressure medication. It could have killed you, instead you only ended up hallucinating."

    "I was hallucinating?"

    "Yes."

    "In public?"

    "Ahh? yes Master."

    "Gutka."
  2. Ara-gon Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2005
    star 2
    That was good! Loved the bit about Jocasta. At least Qui had the grace to blush about it. The ending was perfect as Dooku grasped the implications of what his padawan was saying.

  3. Nienna_Narmolanya Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 5, 2005
    star 4
    That was great, Layren! :D So cute and funny, and I liked how it was all dialogue. Getting to fill in the blanks between the spoken words made this even more enjoyable to read. For instance:
    "I am in charge here, learner, not you."
    "But? ow!"


    I can only imagine... :p

    Wonderful response to the challenge! =D=
  4. Charmisjess Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 31, 2003
    star 3
    Poor Qui-Gon, but poor Dooku! I'm very worried for him, if he's taking blood pressure meds in his mid-late twenties. o_O It's all Qui-Gon's fault, isn't it?

    Cute viggie. :)
  5. dianethx Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    That was adorable. I loved that Dooku asked Qui-Gon about sleeping with Jocasta. I could just picture the kid's face. LOL.

    See. Dialogue only stories can be a lot of fun. No description, nothing else to distract from the dialogue and what's really going on.

    Great job. [face_laugh]
  6. Healer_Leona Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 7, 2000
    star 9
    Excellent response to the challenge. I shouldn't have, but I couldn't help laugh at Dooku.
  7. DarthIshtar Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Mar 26, 2001
    star 9
    LOL, very strange substance, but funny.
  8. ithesock Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 12, 2005
    star 2
    Awww ... poor Dook and Quig. Their dialogue was really funny. Good job with it. Loved the way you carried it through. :)
  9. ardavenport Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 16, 2004
    star 4
    What? Dooku talking about Nu to Qui-Gon. Hmmmm, I wouldn't have thought of him as the type to kiss and tell.[face_mischief] Anyway, I think you hit all the challenge marks and Qui-Gon's revelation to Dooku about the 'disaster' was the perfect way to end it.

    Qui-Gon must be an awfully trying padawan if he's raising Dooku's blood pressure. :p
  10. Kynstar Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 2, 2004
    star 5
    LOL!! OH my and I can SOOOOOO relate to this!! [face_laugh] I had some BP meds that didn't quite work with me and I did hallucinate with it! [face_laugh]

    Ironic there, eh?

    Great work! I loved the bit about Jo too! [face_mischief] Poor Qui!

    Poor Dooku once he finds out exactly what he did and talked of in front of folks! [face_laugh]

    Well done! Totally enjoyed it :D
  11. KELIA Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 26, 2005
    star 6
    [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh]

    Poor Dooku - he may never live this one down.

    Great response to the challenge

    =D= =D= =D= =D=
  12. VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 8
    Wonderful! =D= [face_laugh]

    "The healers say you overdosed on your blood pressure medication. It could have killed you, instead you only ended up hallucinating."

    "I was hallucinating?"

    "Yes."

    "In public?"

    "Ahh? yes Master."

    "Gutka."


    :oops: =D=
  13. Kestrel_Kenobi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 26, 2005
    star 4
    [face_laugh] roflmao...oh Layren that was great!

    Loved this...well all of it, but esp this...

    "Oh, yes. Where are we anyway?"

    "On Naboo. We're supposed to sign a treaty as part of a reminiscing celebration of when the treaty was originally signed."

    "That sounds boring."

    "It is, so why don't you go lie down?"

    "Ahh, perhaps I will. Excellent suggestion, Padawan."

    "I thought so."

    "Padawan, did I ever tell you about the time I fell in love with Master Nu?"

    "The library archivist? Yes, Master. You've told me. You should go to sleep."

    "Do you think Jocasta would sleep with me if I asked her?"

    "Ahhh seeing as I'm not her, I really couldn't say."

    "What a pity."


    and you can blame Stella for the evil challenge - it was her idea! :p
  14. Aya-Na_Bashu Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 14, 2005
    star 2
    No wonder Qui-Gon meditates all the time. [face_laugh]

    See, I told you dialogue only is fun to write. Let's all of us with the over-active imaginations fill in the blanks. [face_whistling]
  15. Layren Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 28, 2003
    star 5
    Ara-gon Of course he blushed! Any padawan would when asked about a Master's lover in public :p I tried hard to get Dooku's feelings across as well as I could without description. It was hard! Glad you liked it! Thanks for reading!

    Nienna_Narmolanya Thank you! I'm glad the experiment worked, I might play with it in another instance. It was a lot of fun to write. And for the record, that was a braid tug :p Qui-Gon wishes it known, knowing how fanfic author's imaginations like to run away with them. Thanks for reading!

    Charmisjess Actually Dook just has bad blood pressure period, even without Qui-Gon. He's majorly stressy about stuff normal people wouldn't be, just cause he's Dook :p You know how much I value your opinion :D

    Dianethx Thank you! So glad you enjoyed it! As for Qui-Gon's face, he says the blood kind of went away from his head at that statement :p It was a lot of fun! The dialogue basically wrote itself :p I had to make sure I had all the elements in though, that was the hard part :D Thanks so much for reading!

    Healer_Leona Thank you! Of course you should laugh at Dooku, that was the point ;) Thanks for reading!

    DarthIshtar Well when you combine medicated Jedi Masters, padawan Qui-Gon, Naboo, a droid, romance and a clown how can the end result be anything less than strage? :p Thanks for reading!

    ithesock Thank you! I had a good time with it, even if they didn't ;) Poor Dook and Qui indeed :D

    ardavenport Of course he's not usually, but if he's on drugs, he's going to say things like that :p And poor Qui-Gon was only trying to get him to shut up faster by agreeing with him even if he has no idea what the man was talking about ;) And Qui resents the implication that this is all his fault :p Thanks for reading!

    Kynstar I knew you could, that's what gave me the idea at the end to wrap it up :D As far as Dooku, he'll just write the inicident off, pretend it never happened, and never take his blood pressure meds again likely :p Thanks for reading!

    Kelia You'd be surprised. He has his ways :p Thanks for reading!

    VaderLVR64 Thank you! A huge compliment coming from you :D

    Kestrel_Kenobi Glad you enjoyed it! So Stella's the one to blame huh? :p Thanks for reading!

    Aya-Na_Bashu Of course! How else do you think he found out about immortality? :p When was this conversation, I don't remember it :p Sure you haven't been dreaming again? ;)
  16. stormqueen874 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 7, 2005
    star 4
    *falls over laughing* Oh, that was lovely, Layren! I can't believe I didn't read this sooner. Shame on me! :oops:

    Loved the end... with the realization of what he'd been doing. Dooku on the table, and him falling madly in love with Jocasta... [face_laugh][face_laugh] Ah, poor, poor Dooku. *shakes head*

    Great job, m'dear! =D=

    -Stormqueen
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