"Dad, your line is 'I love you'" (Obi-humor fic)

Thats was HILARIOUS!!!!!! The fork scene was the best though! It was so funny!! MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE!!!!!

 

Cleo, dear, where hast thou gone? ?

Up!

Sarah >^,,^<

 

She been hiding under our couch for...the...past.....several weeks.

Up up and away!!!

-Nio

 

Funny, you'd think I'd've noticed... ?



Sarah >^,,^<

 

UP!

~TJF

 

Tummon....

My thread I was laughing/reading is finished, I need something to take its place. I crave goofy stuff to read that makes me laugh, WHERE'S MY JEWEL GONE!!!!

-Nio

 

Ooooo, humor like this keeps my world surreal, MORE MORE!!

 

CLEO! I think I'll go nag her as soon as her school work is done...

Up!

Sarah >^,,^<

 

*crawls out from under couch...*

*looks around to see where everyone is...*

*strolls up to thread, innocently humming*

*gets to thread, realizes that page 1 is deserted, runs to the unexspected page 2 to see why it has GROWN a page since her last visit...*





*slams into a million unexspected readers, finds half of them laughing, half of them threatening her life, gets FLATTENED by a stampede of upps, and suddenly....a water baloon falls on her head.*




VERY FUNNY SARAH, HA-HA-HA. We're all SO amused. *grins through dripping hair, and waves to all the readers*

Thanks for holding up for me guys! I am SO sorry I haven't posted in like....I haven't posted, but I completely forgot I was still posting this thing. I mean, I got caught up in writing, and school, and then the whole TWO TOWERS thing happened, and oh it's too boring to explain. The POINT is, I'm back, and I'm armed with a post!

I would like to give a special THANK YOU to my sister Sarah who came to me and said kind as you please: "Chloe, your readers are about to KILL YOU!"

AND even though she dropped a WATER BALOON on my head, I forgive her...it'll dampen her anger when she finds her Two Towers photo companion was er...uh....misplaced.

OKAY! I'm sure you've heard QUITE enough from me, so onto the post! Thank you once again for holding out for me, and THIS time I'll keep the posts coming!

....though...actually, I think there are only two more. *sigh* BUT I am in the process of writing another, so that's good...I think.

Onto the post!

_____________________________________________

Ten minutes later......................................
Q: Now lets sit down over- Obi-wan? Where are you going?
O: I'm going to appoligize to Miss Rigna for the Lizard I put in her lunch.
Q: Oh. Well good boy.
O: Thank you. *walks up to Miss Rigna, and murmers something*
MR: Why of course, Obi-wan darling. And thank you.
O: No problem! *Sits down* That felt good.
Q: I'm glad.
MR: Good morning everyone! Glad to see you all back to class! To start the day off, I want to appoligize to all of you. I'm afraid that the manual I gave you might be a little hard on your kids. But the Theriss Noway manual can be replaced. So, I have a manual that I wrote titled "How to raise a gifted child" Now I'm sure that all of your children are gifted, so I thought that this manual would be best. So, you can turn in miss Noway's, and I'll pass out Miss Rigna one's. *does so* OK. Now Obi-wan Kenobi-Jinn had volenteered himself and his dad to be my two examples for our class.
Q; WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?
MR: Is there something wrong, Mr. Jinn?
Q: Ya I-
O: Oh Miss Rigna?
MR: Yes Obi dear.
O: I didn't actually tell Daddy yet. It was a surprise.
MR: Oh how sweet!
Q: Obi-wan, I'll kill you.....
MR: What'd he say?
O: He said 'Obi-wan I love you."
A courus of AAAAAWWWWWWW
O: I love you to, Daddy.
An even louder coruse of AAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
MR: Alright you two, why don't you come on up? *do so* OK. Now you'll notice the first section in the manual is "Tantrums". Now there is a very good way of dealing with these. Here are your scripts, you two. Go ahead.
O: I WANT A COOKIES!!!!!
Q: But Obi-wan, you can't have any until after dinner.
O: I WANT THEM!!!!
Q:Now listen son, I know you're upset, but if-
O: NO!
Q: Now just listen to-
O: NO!
WHACK!
Q: AH! What am I supposed to do if he hits me?
MR: Oh. You give him a cookie.
Q: WHAT?!
MR: He wants a bunch. If he hits you, you give him one, so he'll stop. It's a compramise.
Q: Brother. Okay, son, I'll give you a cookie, if you don't hit Daddy any more O-
O: Give it to me!
Q: Only if you don't hit Daddy, okay?
O: Okay.
Q: Good boy. *gives him a cookie*
O: Give me another one!
Q: No, Obi-wan, you see-
THUNK!
Q: Ah! What if he kicks me?
MR: Oh, you give him another cookie.
Q: WHAT?!?!?!
MR: Well, he wants a whole bunch.
Q: But if I give him another one, he'll get a whole bunch!
MR: No, just two. How many do you want Obi-wan?
O: All the cookies in the world.
MR: You see?

 

Q: Obi-wan, I'll kill you.....
MR: What'd he say?
O: He said 'Obi-wan I love you."

*snicker*

O: Okay! Dad, I want............a.................new bike!
Q: A what?
O: A new speeder bike! My old one's wearing out.
Q: You don't have a speeder bike, Obi-Wan.
Oh ya. Well I want a....sled!
Q: There aren't any hill on Corucent.
O: Oh. Well, I want...........................a cookie!
Q: Not another cookie! No way, forget it!
O: I'll read your diary to everyone again!
*some of the kids from Obi-Wan's school start to laugh*
O: *munching on his two cookies*




loved that postie! very funny. and hey, i kept my quotes down!

~TJF

 

*sweeps an awesome bow* Thank you, and you're welcome! *slings her arm about her dripping sister* See? Whatever would you do without me? *Chloe leans over and whispers something in her ear and then begins to chase her around the thread with a hose*

*runs for dear life* I meant BESIDES stay dry!!!

Great post, by the way! Obi-Brat is such a pain.

Sarah >^,,^<

 

Okay Jewel, we all forgive you. That post was enough to make up for ALLLLL the waiting.


O: Oh Miss Rigna?
MR: Yes Obi dear.
O: I didn't actually tell Daddy yet. It was a surprise.


Ooooooo, that is just so cruel. Miss Rigna is a new form of Qui torture!!! I absolutely LOATH people like that. But they make pretty good laughing stock on your stories.

-Nio

 

LOL LOL LOL LOL!!!! I printed this one off and read it to my sister...We were ROLLING with laughter!!!
I love it!!!!

 

Could you send me Obi-Brat story 1 all together?? I 'exposed' Melissa to all you've posted last night, and I think she blew a fuse. Through the mangled laughter though, I gathered that she wanted to read the first one.

-Nio

 

*stalks around backyard, holding hose*

.....Sarah_K? Ooooh Sarah_K.....you gunky....

Sorry, too much Cosby at 10:00 pm.

*giggles* WOW! I had no idea you guys liked this so much!

Well, sorry to say it, but this is the second-to-last post. *sigh*. AH, well. Fun must end at some point...that, and we can only torture Qui so much. heheh...[face_reallyreallyreallyMEAN]

Well, anyways, I am SO glad you guys have enjoyed this! They are certainly a joy to write.

Oh, and YES, Nio, I will send you the Obi-Brat-#1, even though you wen and EXSPOSED poor Melissa to my silliness! Ah well. Just don't tell Lindsey. She might think I'm..crazy. Which I am, but you're not supposed to KNOW that. *glances at pile of Obi-Brat stories* Hm. Too late.

Okay, well here's the post you guys! Laugh lots, have fun, but please don't shoot Brat-Obi-Wan! Hey it rhymes!

Enjoy!
_____________________________________________

An hour later...........................
Q: Okay, Obi-Wan, lets get one thing streight. I'M running the camra.
O: But Dad, your the one their watching most the time. I'll run the camra.
Q: Okay, but you'd better start acting like a eleven-year-old, rather than a three-year-old!
O: No problem.
Q: Okay.
Next morning....................
O: Daaaad....DAD!
Q: *leaps out of bed* WHAT!
O: Camra's rolling.
Q: Obi-Wan!!!! Turn that thing off!
O: You TOLD me I could run the camra!
Q: Well not while I'm still in bed!
O: Okay, Okay. What are we having for brakefast?
Q: Oatmeal.
O: EEEAAAACCCHH!
Q: Oh, chill. It won't kill you.
O: How do YOU know?!
Q: Just go eat.
O: Fine.
ten minutes later...................
O: You didn't notice.
Q: Didn't notice what?
O: I never turned the camera off.
Q: Okay, that' s it. I'm going to exercise a bit of that peranting right now! Go to your room!
O: No! I want a cookie!
Q: Well, tough! Give me the camra!
O: No! *jumps down from table, and runs to the couch, holding the camra over his head* Nononononononono!
Q: *chases him to the couch and tries to pry the camera out of his hand* yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyes!
O: *jumps off couch, runs back to the table, grabs a chair and throws it*
Q: *ducks the chair, and grabs a lamp and throws*
O: *ducks the lamp, and throws the vase in the middle of the table*
Q: *ducks vase, throws footstool*
O*ducks footstool, throws broom*
Q: *ducks broom, throws candy dish*
O: *ducks candy dish, takes candy and shoves it in his pockets, throws pot of oat meal*
Q: EEEEECH! OOOOOWW! Obi-Wan!!!!!!!! *translation, doesn't quite duck pot of oat meal. Get's real mad, throws armchair*
O: *runs to his room, and armchair goes out the window.*
CRASH!
Q: *chases Obi-Wan down the hallway*
SLAM!
Q: Obi-Wan! Open this door now!
O: Are you CRAZY?!?!?!?
Q: NOW!
O: NO!
Q: You'll starve!
O: I'll manage!
Q: HA!
two hours later............
Crunch crunch, CRACK! crunch crunch.................CRACK! crunch crunch....
Q: Obi-Wan, you'r gonna kill your teath eating hard candy like that.
CRACK! crunch crunch...
O: Oh, you're just sour because I'm in here eating candy and saying nasty things about you into the video camera, and your sitting in the hallway looking at a broken livingroom...
CRACK! crunch crunch.......
Q: Their not going to believe anything you say into that camera. I know everyone in that class, and their smarter than that.
O: Except for the fact that their going to a childtraing class my, of all Twilecks, Miss Rigna!
Q:.............
O: Haha, tooshe'!
Q: Oh shut up. You've been nothing but a royal pain since I laid eyes on you.
O: I dunno. As I recall I set you up with a smashing date a couple nights ago.
Q; You're nuts. That 'smashing date' was Miss Rigna!
O: Your point?
Q: My point is-
O: Wait a sec. I jsut thought of somthing else *turns camera on* Plus, he never appreciates me. I try and try to do things for him, but he just doesn't care! *manages to choke up a few tears* I- I love him, but- he just....he just doesn't CARE!...*sniff* I'm sorry. I have- have to go a moment. Just as seco

 

O: Wait a sec. I just thought of something else *turns camera on* Plus, he never appreciates me. I try and try to do things for him, but he just doesn't care! *manages to choke up a few tears* I- I love him, but- he just....he just doesn't CARE!...*sniff* I'm sorry. I have- have to go a moment. Just as second. I'm going to get my photo of him I keep on my dresser. He's smiling in the picture, and sometimes, when I look at it. It's almost as if- suddenly he loves me. I'll be right back *turns the camera off* CRACK crunch crunch.....What were you saying?

ROTFL!!!!!!!!!

loved it!!!

~TJF

 

Q: Obi-Wan!! Open this door now!!
O: Are you crazy????

That's always what I think in movies where someone starts running, and they say, "Hey, stop!" Like they're gona listen...

Luven it Jewel!!!!

-Nio

 

ROFLOL I love it!!!! ITs wonderful!!!

 

Well guys, you've been a wonderful, and QUITE patient audience!! Thank you all for reading and reviewing! I'm afraid I don't have another to begin posting at this point, but may some time. So, if ever your surfing over the fanfiction on here, and happen to catch some completely crazy title with (Obi-Brat story) tacked onto it, you'll know CHLOE WAS HERE!!! ACCCHH!!!!

Thank you once again for reading my fic, and bareing with my tardiness and silliness.

Here you go!
____________________________________________
A half hour later............
Guard: You have a visitor.
Q: Oh gee. Let me guess. Short kid, about eleven-years old, probebly has a Little Debbie Snack Cake in one hand, and a purple gift bag with "To Mr. Jinn Love Miss Rigna" and a "I'm Sorry" card poking out of the top of it?
Guard:...........um....yep. Cept the purple bag is actually pink.
Q: Joy. Okay, Obi-Wan, come on in.
O: Hi Dad!
Guard: Five minutes.
Q: Oh please. How about two?
Guard: Five.
Q: Three.
Guard: Five.
Q: Pleeeeeease! At MOST four!
Guard: Mr Jinn, I'm am really sick of this kid yelling at our secratary demanding to get in! Now you sit here and talk to him for five minutes, or-
Q: What are you gonna do? Arrest me again?
Guard: Never mind.
O: So, how's it going?
Q: It's incredibly sweet of you to visit me in jail like this.
O: Ya, well you know..
Q: Especially since YOU'RE the reason I'm in here.
O: Oh. Yes, that. Ummm.....I have a gift from Miss Rigna.
Q: Uhuh. Lets see....*starts opening gift* Good grief! I could drown in the tinsle!
O: Open the card first!
Q: Fine, fine. *starts reading card*
Card:
Dear Mr. Jinn,
I'm really sorry that you're blue
But there was nothing I could do
And even though I'm gonna sue
You know that somewhere I love you!
Q: Aaaach!
O: What? What'd it say?!
Q: Never mind! *throws card at the wall*
O: Don't feel bad, dad, at least she loves you!
Q: Oh gee. And that makes it- *stares* how did you know that?
O: I....uh...........well, open the gift now.
Q: *picks card back up, throws it at Obi-Wan*
O: Hey!
Q: *still glaring daggers, starts opening gift again* Tinsle, tinsle, tinsle, tissue paper, tissue, tissue, tissue, tinsle, tinsle...
O: Ya, she an exotic gift-wrapper. You should've seen the I'm Sorry About Your Dad gift to me!
Q: *glares*
O: Ah, heheh....OH LOOK! You've finnaly reached the gift!
Q: It's a- a- stuffed mouse?
O: Really? How funny! That's what I got! Exept, mine was Super Squeeky. Let's see, you got....oh.
Q: Oh what?
O: I uhh....Squeekum.
Q: And who, pray-tell, is Squeekum?
O: Uhh.....the princess?
Q: *throws princess Squeekum at the wall* That's it! I've had it! BILL!
Gaurd: What, Mr. Jinn.
Q: Is five minutes up yet?!
Guard: No, two more to go.
Q: If you don't get this kid, this stuffed mouse, this ugly pink bag, this stupid card, this lake of tinsle, and all these Little Debbie Snack Cake crumbs OUT of my cell, I'm going to- to.....
Guard: Call the police?
Q: Ya!- wait. NO! I'll start slamming him into the cell wall until he's dead. And I mean GRAVE YARD DEAD!!!!!!!
Guard: Fine, fine. Okay, kid. Come on out your dad's cell, and take the toys and gift wrapping with you.
Q: And the Debbie Snack Cake crumbs!
Guard: And the Debbie Snack Cake crumbs.
O: Okay! *does so* see you pops!
Q: I hope not.
Three hours later..............
O: One thousand, nine hundred fourty-seven bottles a-hangen on the wall! One thousand, nine hundred fourty-seven bottles a-hangen on the wall! And these policemen don't let me in dad's cell, there'll be one thousand, nin hundred fourty-six bottles a-hangen on the wall!.............................................one thousand nine hundred fourty-six bottles a-hangen on the wall! One thousand-
Q: Obi-Wan, SHUT UP!
O: I want to go in and talk to you!!
Guard: Mr. Jinn, he's a visitor! I have to let him in!
Q: Ya, well I don't have to see him. And I most certanly don't WANT to!
O: One thousand fourty-six bottles....
Guard: PLEASE! He's driving me crazy!!
Q: Ya. Me too, but I think he'll drive me even more cra

 

ROTFL!!!! awesome job Jewl! totally hilarious! poor qui-gon and the guard!

~TJF

 

YOU ARE TOO MUCH!! I cracked up over the Bill Cosby thing almost more than I did over the story... But then, I've already read/heard this a couple times.

*goes out to make a slush-ball before the snow all melts*

*puts slush ball in freezer*

*waits for new Obi-Brat story*



Sarah >^,,^<

 

Card:
Dear Mr. Jinn,
I'm really sorry that you're blue
But there was nothing I could do
And even though I'm gonna sue
You know that somewhere I love you!


Tis priceless, simply priceless Chloe...

You have a sense of humor that...is......well, funny!

-Nio

 

ROFLOL I LOVE IT!!!!! This is absolutly wonderful!!!!

 

I found this a while ago, but wasn't able to finish it until now-
Jedi Jewel, this is ROTFLMAO hilarious!!!
I do hope you write more!

~Kris