Saga Dangerous--a coversation between Obi-Wan and little Ani during TPM

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by SakuraTsukikage, Mar 9, 2006.

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  1. SakuraTsukikage Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 24, 2005
    star 4
    Title: Dangerous
    Author(s): SakuraTsukikage
    Timeframe: shortly after the Royal Starship leaves Tatooine. Before arriving on Coruscant.
    Characters: Obi-Wan Kenobi, Anakin Skywalker
    Summary: Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker have a midnight conversation.
    Notes: I know I shouldn't be writing new viggies, I should be working on my WIPs! But the bunny bit me and just wouldn't let go until I wrote it.


    The boy was shivering in his sleep, his sandy-colored thatch of hair fanned out across the pillow and his little body scrunched into a tight, uncomfortable ball. Somehow, the sight of those small, trembling shoulders and vulnerable bare feet stirred a clashing mixture of feelings in Obi-Wan Kenobi. He shifted uncomfortably in the doorway of the small alcove where he had come to get an extra blanket. There was still the resentment he hadn?t been able to quite purge from his heart since the boy had come onboard, the impatience he couldn?t help that Qui-Gon was wasting time and energy on another little charity case, frustration that his Master spent so much of his formidable talents on distracting projects like this one that split his focus between his duties as a Jedi and what sometimes seemed like the desire to reach out and help the entire rest of the galaxy.

    But now he couldn?t help but feel an uncomfortable twinge of sympathetic pity for the boy. The former slave tried so hard to be tough and strong and self-reliant that it had been all too easy for Obi-Wan to forget just how young he really was, how fragile, however independent and resilient he seemed. He had left his home behind to come with them, Obi-Wan knew. Obi-Wan thought about how he had felt at the prospect of leaving the Temple forever for the Agri-Corps and shuddered.

    And he had been twelve then, instead of merely nine.

    That aching, uncomfortable feeling of pity grew. Obi-Wan knew he had been a bit short with the boy. There was no excuse for that. As Qui-Gon constantly reminded him, every living creature was deserving of respect and compassion.

    Obi-Wan made a face. Perhaps he could still benefit from more patience, after all.

    The boy gave a slight, unhappy whimper in his sleep, tossing his head as if in protest of something, and he scrunched tighter into his ball, as if he were trying to protect himself from some terrible foe. Obi-Wan blew his breath out in annoyance and moved to the side of the boy?s bunk. The covers were still folded neatly at the bottom of the bed. Obi-Wan shook his head as he reached down for them and shook them out. Didn?t the little idiot know that the blankets were there to keep him warm while he slept?

    He settled the blankets over the boy?s shivering form, tucking them carefully in around his slender shoulders. Obi-Wan let his hand rest on the sharp curve of the boy?s shoulder for a moment?Force, he was skinny! He wondered what Qui-Gon saw in this tiny snub-nosed, tousle-haired scamp.

    Before he could move away and back into safe obscurity, though, the boy gave a choked, shuddering gasp and woke, a start traveling the length of the body as his eyes fell on Obi-Wan standing over him. He sat abruptly, narrowly avoiding banging his head against the top of the bunk.

    ?Careful,? Obi-Wan said reflexively, the word leaving him almost against his will. After it had left his mouth he realized it had sounded harsher, more snappish, than he had meant it to.

    The boy seemed to shrink back into himself, but at the same time his shoulders straightened, as if Obi-Wan had challenged him and he intended to meet that challenge. His hands clenched in the cloth of the blanket covering him, and his eyes peered at Obi-Wan through the dimness of the small alcove. That gaze seemed too sharp and penetrating to belong to a small nine-year-old boy, even in the gloom, and Obi-Wan shifted uncomfortably under it.

    ?You?re the other Jedi,? the boy said then, and it wasn?t a question. ?Obi-Wan Kenobi??

    ?That is my name,? Obi-Wan confirmed. ?Ah . . . it was Anakin, wasn?t it??

    The bo
  2. Valairy Scot Backpacking One Pack a Day Mod of New Films

    Member Since:
    Sep 16, 2005
    star 6
    Am I first to respond?! Yeah.

    Not unless the entire Council simultaneously lose their collective minds, he thought, and even Qui-Gon can?t pull a mind-trick that effective. But he found he just didn?t have the heart to crush the boy?s hopes so cruelly?for cruel it would be

    I can see Obi-Wan thinking that at that age!

    I can just see this - so perfect in how they start off. It's how I see their relationship starting, myself.
  3. Ludo_Kressh Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jun 30, 2005
    star 5
    This was very interesting, I always wondered what Obi-Wan's feelings were for Qui-Gon bringing Anakin along to Coruscant with them...openly, he did have disdain for the boy, but you captured his inner feelings so well, it almost seemed to me that Obi-Wan was jealous or resentful...

    And Anakin, far away from everything he knew, his mother, Tatooine, having bad dreams is understandable, but he didn't know their significance until later...that, and I didn't know Anakin meant 'warrior' in Old Corellain..[face_thinking]

    This was very good, and keep writing those, even if you have a WIP, I did it and I found it to be a fun experience.:D [face_peace]
  4. VA_Parky Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Aug 10, 2005
    star 4
    Aw, Sakura - I think this was a wonderful / perfect / exact description of what Anakin and Obi-wan's relationship was like right at the very beginning. As reluctant as Obi-wan is (and he's very reluctant), he can't help but warm to the little guy bit by bit.

    Wonderful work, as always. I am so glad you joined the boards - your writing is such a pleasure to read! =D= I always enjoy it so very much.
  5. SakuraTsukikage Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 24, 2005
    star 4
    To Valairy_Scot: Yes! You were first! :D [face_laugh] Yeah, he's always been a bit sarcastic, hasn't he? I liked putting that line in! Thanks so much! That's exactly what I wanted to capture.

    To Ludo_Kressh: That's what it always seemed like to me, too. I think his feelings about Anakin were very complicated around that time, and that's what I tried to get across. I thought, considering his dreams later, that having bad dreams made sense. :) And I don't know if it really does, but one of the meanings for Anakin (on Earth, that is) is "warrior" so I wanted to work it in somehow. :D I know, vignettes are great! I'm just afraid that the readers who notice that I'm working on other stuff and not the other story will come after me [face_worried] ;).

    To VA_Parky: :D Thanks so much! That's exactly what I wanted it to be! [face_blush] You're so nice to say that! Thanks again.
  6. padawan lunetta Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    May 15, 1999
    star 6
    Oooohh this was SO good! I love Obi-Wan all tenderly\annoyedly taking care of little Anakin! So beautifully written...and I love the last lines:

    He sent one last glance at the boy, then patted him awkwardly on the head and stood up.

    The boy was dangerous, he thought unhappily as he left to seek his own bed. However endearing in personality.

    Why couldn?t Qui-Gon just see that, too?
    Wow, VERY nice! You have so perfectly captured TPM Obi-Wan, it's amazing! Loved it!!!
  7. KELIA Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 26, 2005
    star 6
    This was beautifully written.

    You really did a great job capturing Obi-Wan's mixed (to say the least) emotions about Anakin and I just loved how sweet young Anakin was...


    =D= =D= =D= =D=
  8. Gabri_Jade VIP

    Member Since:
    Nov 9, 2002
    star 5
    This is really excellent. It feels exactly in character for Obi-Wan during TPM. I mean, exactly. Reading this vignette felt almost literally like opening a window into Obi-Wan's personality then, and I could see the threads that intertwined seamlessly with the rest of the Saga, like the dawning awareness that Anakin's abilities were something special, as Qui-Gon had claimed, and the sense of duty that made him honor his promise to Qui-Gon not merely in name, but in spirit as well. I can see the potential for the mention in the RotS novelization of how being Anakin's friend had eventually taught Obi-Wan to relax and be just a little less serious all the time - basically, you set up the potential for the future Obi-Wan/Anakin relationship better than I felt the movie did, but without toning down the insecurity and resentment and relative immaturity of Obi-Wan at that time, or what Anakin's mental state had to be, fresh from a lifetime of slavery and far away from everything he'd ever know. Beautifully done in all respects. :D
  9. SakuraTsukikage Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 24, 2005
    star 4
    To padawan lunetta: :D Thanks. Tenderly/annoyedly was exactly what I was going for! And thanks so much! I really wanted it to sound like Obi-Wan's POV.

    To KELIA: :) Thanks so much. I really wanted Anakin to be sweet, too. :)

    To Gabri_Jade: [face_blush] Wow, really, thanks so much. Characterization is really important to me, and it really made my day to hear that you thought Obi-Wan's was so right on. Thanks so much.
  10. aden Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Nov 30, 2005
    star 1
    o_O How do you do it?

  11. CrazyAni Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 23, 2006
    star 4
    Wow, what a perfect viggie!=D=

    I loved how you showed the conflict within Obi-Wan. One part of him disliking Anakin and being jealous if him, the other part feeling affection and pity towards him. perfect characterization, I can clearly see Obi-Wan thinking like that at this age.

    Anakon's visions are as vivid as usual. Thirteen years later, and Obi-Wan still hasn't learned that Anakin is a gifted seer! I wonder what would happen if Obi-Wan didn't have this jealous attitude from the beginnig. Maybe, Episode III title would be called "The end of the Sith". Wouldn't it be nice!
  12. BrightFeather Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Nov 13, 2005
    star 3
    Well done! I'm trying to catch up yet again. :D Glad you posted this; the history is very plain there.

  13. SakuraTsukikage Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 24, 2005
    star 4
    To aden: I don't know! ;) Thanks! [:D]

    To CrazyAni: [face_blush] Thank you so much! That's what I really wanted to show. Thanks a lot! :D

    To BrightFeather: Thank you! :D I wanted it to be.
  14. Alley_Skywalker Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 27, 2005
    star 4
    Wow! That was great. You definitely captured Anakin character very well. And I like how you showed Obi-Wan?s jealousy but at the same time the subconscious connection between him and Anakin.

    Oh and the prophetic dream was creepy.
  15. Mr_Dagobah Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Aug 30, 2005
    star 2
    Very nice fic. You get down to the heart of the matter and summarize the feelings both Obi-Wan and Anakin will in essence continue to feel until Anakin's fall. This is very well done. Kudos to you for that. [face_peace]
  16. SakuraTsukikage Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 24, 2005
    star 4
    To Alley_Skywalker: Thanks! :D I'm glad to hear that, as that's what I really wanted to hear. And, well, it was supposed to be creepy ;).

    To Mr_Dagobah: Thank you! That's exactly what I wanted to do. [face_blush] Thanks again ;).
  17. leia_naberrie Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 10, 2002
    star 4
    This story really takes the reader into the first episode, the philosophies, backgrounds and personal milestones of the characters then. There's no mincing words of the description of Obi-Wan the apprentice, young, impatient, uncomfortable with and unwilling to understand anything outside his until-then sheltered existence:

    Obi-Wan let his hand rest on the sharp curve of the boy?s shoulder for a moment?Force, he was skinny! He wondered what Qui-Gon saw in this tiny snub-nosed, tousle-haired scamp.

    His interaction with the just-freed Anakin is heartbreaking.

    Anakin asked, ?Are you studying under Master Qui-Gon, too??
    It was an innocent question, asked in simple, friendly curiosity, but Obi-Wan felt a flash of hot annoyance at the words. Too?

    ?But everyone calls me Ani.?
    ?Well, Anakin,? Obi-Wan said

    With the blessing and curse of his extraordinary skills, the little boy picks up on the older one's resentment and envy and accepts it with a slave's acceptance of ill treatment.

    ?Is that what I?ll be?? Anakin asked. Obi-Wan could see the eager enthusiasm shining in his eyes even through the darkness of the room.
    Not unless the entire Council simultaneously lose their collective minds, he thought, and even Qui-Gon can?t pull a mind-trick that effective.

    It's very easy to see this hard-hearted young man as the same man who grows up to butcher his 'best friend' for the sake of duty years down the line. It's easy to understand that all through their friendship, Obi-Wan was never able to let go of his fear of Anakin's incredible powers: this boy is dangerous. He should not be able to see such things. No one like this should be trained. No one. It's just too dangerous. All the seeds of the future betrayal are in place.

    =D= Your story's really made me think! Thank you for sharing. :D
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