1. Welcome to the new boards! Details here!

  2. Hey Fanficers! In fixing the prefixes something happened and now you can't edit titles. Don't panic! We're looking into what happened and trying to fix it.

Before - Legends Dark Horizon (OCs) - Updated 10th July, 2011

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Space_Wolf, Jun 21, 2010.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. Space_Wolf

    Space_Wolf Jedi Master star 3

    Mar 13, 2007
    Edit: I'm hoping to start working on this soon, so I'm trying to find a way to unlock it...

    This is one I started a while back. Most of the story takes place just before or about the time of The Phantom Menace and I wasn't sure if I should post it here, or in the Saga board. Appologies if it's in the wrong place.


    10 years before the invasion of Naboo

    There were five other infants in the nursery at the Jedi Temple that evening, but there was only one of them that I was interested in. Flik, my son. His fur was a dark chocolate brown, and his eyes were light blue. He was sleeping now. Both his fur and eyes will change colour as he grows older, as it happens with all Shistavanens. His sister, Lyet, had looked exactly the same when I had gone to collect him.

    I understand Mizet?s reasons for wanting her son to come here. She wanted at least one of her children to know its father. How wrong she was, but I couldn?t bring myself to tell her so. From this day onwards, I will never be able to think of him as my son. He will just be another youngling being trained in preparation to be taken on as a padawan between the ages of ten to thirteen.

    No doubt that there will be repercussions over this, but I do not fear the Council?s punishments. What ever punishments they could devise will be nothing compared to the fact that I would never be allowed to acknowledge him as my son, nor have contact with his mother and sister ever again. A Jedi is not supposed to have attachments. The feelings I have felt towards Mizet alone would be reason enough for the Council to discipline me: Flik himself would be welcome, because force-sensitive children are rare, a mother volunteering to give up a child rarer still. Is it hypocritical of me, being a Jedi, to wonder at that moment, if he would have been better off having stayed with his mother and sister. I?m not supposed to have these emotional attachments, but I do.

    Abstaining from personal attachments could send a Jedi mad. They are one of the most natural things in the galaxy. Master Windu would have said that was why personal attachments are so dangerous: the darkside masks itself as being more natural than the light, so that you follow it more readily. In some instances, that is true. But the unnatural can be just as good an agent for the darkside.

    I fail to see how caring for one?s child could be of the darkside. With that thought in my mind, I watched my son sleep. I didn?t have to accept the dictation of the Council.

    I could take him away and leave the Order, so that I could live my life with my son. That course of action seemed so clear to me then. I am his father. Who had the right to object? But then Mizet?s face came to me and I remember the words she spoke to me as she put Flik into my arms.

    ?The Jedi Order rescued me from those that would extort my father. You also gave me my daughter. It is only right that I give something back in return and Flik should know his father.?

    If I took him from the temple, it would only be an action that would satisfy my own selfishness. It would not benefit my son and it would steal my love?s gift to the Order. Instead, I stayed up all night with him so that at least I had sometime with him as his father before we had to become anonymous strangers to each other, untouchable. So that at least for a short while, we could be just another parent and child, before my son was just another youngling in the Jedi Order.
  2. earlybird-obi-wan

    earlybird-obi-wan Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Aug 21, 2006
    A great start with a Shistavanen Jedi.=D==D= They are a nice species to write about.
  3. Space_Wolf

    Space_Wolf Jedi Master star 3

    Mar 13, 2007
    Thanks for reading, earlybird-obi-wan. I should have an update soon.
  4. jay102

    jay102 Jedi Youngling

    Jul 4, 2010
    Your fiction is rather good. congratulation!
  5. Space_Wolf

    Space_Wolf Jedi Master star 3

    Mar 13, 2007
    I meant to update this sooner, but I got distracted by things. Here's the first part of Chapter 1...

    Chapter 1

    I am Raqak Sivrak, Jedi Knight. It is unlikely that you have heard of me. I am not a famous negotiator, sword master, or Council member. Because there have been times when I have failed to follow the Jedi Code, it is unlikely that I will join the ranks of the last. The reason for my anonymity relates to what I do. I am a Jedi Investigator. I fight the criminal underground that plagues the galaxy, Black Sun, smugglers, gangsters and pirates.

    On Coruscant, most of the citizens like to think that the Republic has civilised the galaxy, but I know different. For every Black Sun Vigo I have taken down, for every pirate that I have brought to justice, there are ten more waiting to take his or her place. Smugglers are so numerous that I only bother to go after the worst ones, the ones that hurt people, or that pose a real threat to the stability of the Republic. Gangsters, particularly Hutts, usually operate outside the jurisdiction of the Republic and are untouchable unless found to be working inside the Republic.

    I have not taken on a padawan. The nature of my work means that it will be too dangerous for me to have a child to look out for. At least, that is the excuse I have told the Council when they have tried to encourage me to take one on. But the real reason is that it would feel like I was replacing my son, now ten years old, and the only youngling I was not allowed to take on as an apprentice. Stubborn or not, I had decided a long time ago that if I couldn?t take Flik on as my padawan learner, then I would not have one. Fortunately, most of the council agreed with me that my work was too dangerous a situation to take a child into and for now, didn?t force the issue. But even I know that the situation can?t remain the same forever. I have an obligation to pass on my knowledge of the Force. If an older padawan lost his or her master, or one showed an interest in my work, then I would have to revaluate my decision.

    Much of my time is spent away from Coruscant.

    Having just finished my debriefing of my last assignment with the Council, I am now on my way to visit an old acquaintance of mine, my son?s mother. My last meeting with her had been six months ago, on Rogja, a planet in a system near the Shistavanen homeworld. A gang of pirates had been causing problems for ships in her father?s fleet. I?d been the only Jedi available at the time to investigate. Otherwise, given my past with her, I would not have been chosen to go. After bringing my son to the temple, the Council had forbidden me to have any more contact with her. Up until then, I had kept my word. Of course, over the years I had often thought of her and my daughter, considered what could have been had the Jedi Order?s rules on personal attachments had been different. But I?d dismissed those notions as fantasy and over time, I?d been able to cast them aside entirely. I?d thought that my feelings for Mizet had long since died. During that trip out to Rogja, I?d had every intention of keeping my word to the Council and keep my contact with Mizet professional. Like my dreams of being with her, my intentions had turned out to be a fantasy too. I failed to keep my word to the Council, we renewed our relationship in the sort time I was there. I succeeded in putting a stop to the pirate raids and returned to Coruscant, thinking to put Mizet behind me again, no matter how much I didn?t want to.

    A month after my return to Coruscant, I learned that Mizet had been elected Senator for the Uvena System and moved to Coruscant so she could take up her office. She?d told me her plans back on Rogja, but I?d not thought any more of them.

    Since then, I?d kept myself busy, pursuing leads I?d uncovered on my previous missions before the Council even gave me the orders to do so. All of this was to stop me from being tempted to go see Mizet, not because my feelings towards her had cooled, but the opposite. If I kept away from her, then I wouldn?t be breaking the Code. Th
  6. SoA

    SoA Jedi Knight star 3

    Apr 2, 2008
    This is a fascinating start! I'm liking your main character a lot already. I really can't see where this is going, and it intrigues me.

    Please put me on your PM list if you have one.
  7. Space_Wolf

    Space_Wolf Jedi Master star 3

    Mar 13, 2007
    It's been ages since this was updated and I hope that I'll be able to work on it at the end of the month as my exams will have been and gone. While I've been at uni, my Star Wars fan fic has been put on hiatus so it may be a bit rusty to start with.


    The sun had dipped below the skyline by the time I arrived at Mizet?s apartment. I hesitated slightly before activating the com device.

    ?Jedi Sivrak here to see Senator Vareir,? I announced.

    A few seconds later, the door slid open, revealing two of Mizet?s bodyguards. One of them escorted me to Mizet?s lounge. Mizet, stood with her back to me, gazing out on Coruscant?s evening skyline. She was wearing a long flowing black dress that contrasted with her white fur perfectly. There was no sign of Lyet in the room.

    ?Jedi Sivrak to see you, lady,? the guard said.

    ?Thank you, Hes. You may leave us,? the white furred lupa replied, without turning around. ?I wish to talk with the Jedi alone.?

    ?As you wish lady,? he replied, before leaving us.

    I knew I should have been the first to speak, but the right words refused to come to me, so I kept silent. Mizet was as beautiful as I remembered her.

    ?Nearly six months I?ve been living here, and it is only now that you decide to come to see me,? she said. There was a quiet anger in her voice, and I supposed she was justified in having it, though I sensed that she was glad to see me, also.

    ?Work for the Order has kept me busy,? I replied. I wouldn?t even be here now, if the Council hadn?t sent me here, I thought. But if things were different...

    ?Work?? she asked. ?But you could not spare one moment to come here.?

    Then I knew exactly why I was here. She?d not wanted to make contact with our son at all, at least that was not her only motivation. It had been me she?d wanted to see, though I could sense that she wanted to know how our son was getting on also.

    ?The Council asked me to see you. You have been making enquiries about our son.?

    ?Our son,? she said. ?Does that work keep you away from him also??

    ?I?m away from Coruscant often, Senator,? I answered. I wouldn?t, couldn?t allow myself to call her by her first name. It was much easier to maintain a distance between us if I kept things professional. She, however, had no such inhibitions.

    ?So you allow our son to be raised by beings not of his own blood. That is not the reason why I sent him to live with you, Raqak.?

    I wondered if she understood the Jedi Code at all, but then, she?s not a Jedi, so how could she? I decided it was time to explain things to her.

    ?It is not my doing, Senator. The Jedi Code that prevents me from being with you and Lyet also prevents me from being a father to him. Besides, the nature of my work is too dangerous to have a child around.?

    ?And all this time you allowed me to believe otherwise?? she asked. I could sense her disappointment, in me, mostly, not that I could blame her.

    ?No, Mizet, you allowed yourself to believe that. I just didn?t have the heart to tell you.?

    Mizet considered this. Half turning so she could look over her shoulder at me, she said, ?Can you at least tell me how he?s getting on in his training? Is he a padawan yet? I have a right to know, at least.?

    I had to agree with her. The problem was, the Order didn?t. Not even I, a Jedi, was allowed that privilege. It was part of the agreement I?d made so that I would be allowed to remain in the Order. An idea to get around it popped into my head, though I didn?t know if it would work.

    ?I haven?t heard anything recently,? I told her, not willing to admit to her that even I wasn?t allowed to know what was going on with him. ?But there are ways for me to find out. I?ll see what I can do.?

    ?Thank you, Raqak,? Mizet said. ?Lyet?s been asking about him.?

    ?You?ve told Lyet about her brother?? I asked.

    ?My mother let it slip the last time my parents visited. She?s starting to go senile and doesn?t know what she?s talking about half the time.?

    ?Lyet doesn?t -? I began.

    ?Know who her father is? No.?

    ?Keep it that way, Mizet,? I said. ?I?ve made some powerful enemies over t
  8. Space_Wolf

    Space_Wolf Jedi Master star 3

    Mar 13, 2007
    Chapter 2

    I don?t know why I?d asked Mizet to go to Mycroft ? the whole idea behind my going there was to keep my distance from her, but I can?t go back on that offer now.

    It was late by the time I returned to the Jedi Temple. Mizet had wanted me to stay, but the longer I lingered there, the harder it would be to leave, so once everything we needed to discuss had been covered, I left. As before, I chose to walk rather than take an air taxi. It gave me time and space I needed to organise my thoughts and I had a lot to think about. I would soon have four children, instead of two, and though the news brought joy, it brought profound sadness as well. Ordinary folks, at least those who didn?t have children in the temple, would never have to carry the burden that I do, so I always wonder what brings parents to willingly abandon their children ? I have come across this such cases in the cesspools of the galaxy, those places the Republic denies the existence of, and it is something that I never will understand.

    The Jedi Temple at night is a lonely place. Though it is quiet during daylight hours, at night, the silence that hung in the halls was almost an entity itself. Briefly, I considered seeking out Naja, but the sense I obtained of him through the Force indicated that he was resting. I needed to discuss some things with him, but decided that it could wait until morning.

    Because of the stillness in the temple at that hour, sounds, even small ones, carry quite a distance and I detected a noise up ahead, followed by multiple footsteps and suppressed laughter. I hardly needed the Force to guess the source. Younglings. Kids will act like kids, regardless of the fact that they are supposed to be Jedi in miniature, and given the lateness of the hour, it was unlikely that they should be about.

    I followed the laughter to its source, a darkened room with the soft light of a glow rod spilling out into the corridor. The door leading into the room wasn?t quite closed, made to look like it wasn?t in use to a casual passerby, but the ploy failed to work because of the light of the glow rod emanating from it, and of course, the younglings? laughter. I pushed open the door and coughed to gain their attention as I switched on the overhead lighting. There were six of them, two humans, a Mirialan, a Teevan, a Bothan and a Shistavanen. I felt my pulse rate rise. There were only four Shistavanens, including myself, in the Jedi Order at that time. The others were: Voolvif Monn, a female child of two years and my son.

    The children were sat in a circle on the floor in the room and looked up at me a moment after I entered. Regaining my composure, hopefully, before any of the younglings realised I?d lost it, I asked, ?Shouldn?t you be in your dormitory at this time??

    One of the humans, a boy, groaned. The human girl next to him elbowed him in an attempt to stop him from getting them into more trouble. ?We were just about to go there, Master,? said the Mirialan.

    Trying to keep a serious note in my voice, said, ?And I?d better go with you to make sure that you do, then, hadn?t I??

    The human boy groaned again, knowing the game was up, but got to his feet with the rest of them. I stepped aside to allow them to file out into the corridor. The Mirialan went out first, followed by the Teevan. The two humans followed them and last out of the room was Flik. Flik and I exchanged glances as he walked past me. There was recognition of a sort in his eyes and I sensed a burning inquisitiveness, as though he wanted to know everything.

    He remained silent all the way to the dormitory. I wanted to tell him who I am, what my relationship to him is, but I didn?t. No attachment, I reminded myself. Besides, I couldn?t even find the right words to explain it.

    A Twi?lek Jedi met us near the entrance to the younglings? dormitories. I knew her from the time I brought Flik to the temple. She shooed them into their dormitory where about six other younglings around the same age were already sleeping.

    ?Barriss Offee, Ferus Olin, Darra Thel-Tanis, Tru Veld, Kish and Fli
  9. earlybird-obi-wan

    earlybird-obi-wan Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Aug 21, 2006
    Nice updates and good to see you continuing this story
  10. Space_Wolf

    Space_Wolf Jedi Master star 3

    Mar 13, 2007
    I know it's been a while since I last updated this. I probably won't be doing much work on it now until September because I was sick when my exams were due and I have to take them in August, so it'll be revision time again soon. I just don't seem to get much time to write much these days.


    Morning couldn?t arrive quickly enough for me. Sleep had been difficult because of the events yesterday evening playing themselves out over and over again in my head, but it had come eventually.

    My room within the temple only contained the basic necessities for sleeping there. Because I am away so often, I see little point in gathering junk. Aside from a lightsabre and a battered old zoology textbook from my padawan days, the only possession I had which I thought of as uniquely mine, was a holograph that Mizet had given me of her and our children shortly after they were born. It wasn?t something I was supposed to have, and sometimes an annoying reminder of a life that could never be, but in the end, it?s better than nothing at all.

    I dressed and went to the dining hall. At that moment, I was by no means in the mood for company, and could have taken my breakfast in my room. However, I needed to uphold the pretence that everything was fine, and skulking in my room away from the other Jedi would almost certainly indicate that it was not. Once there, after retrieving my meal, I chose a table that was unoccupied ? I still wanted to keep to myself. My breakfast consisted of meats. Shistavanens are carnivorous and that is one aspect of our nature that not even the Jedi Order can change. I found myself not that hungry, and I could only eat a few mouthfuls. I stayed, though, in the hope that my appetite would return.

    ?Mind if I sit here??

    I looked up from the table to see Naja standing there. My initial response was to tell him to go away and leave me be, but then I?d never get rid of him. Besides, a friend to talk to was welcome, even if I would have preferred solitude. He soon noticed my lack of appetite.

    ?Something wrong? You?re not eating.?

    ?I?m just not hungry this morning, that?s all,? I lied. It was only a partial lie, and I hoped it was enough to deflect his interest from my problems. I wanted to discuss them, but not here: it was too public.

    ?You can?t put me off that easily.?

    ?Ok,? I said, pushing my plate to one side. Perhaps I?d feel like eating later ? I certainly didn?t then. I decided to at least tell him about my encounter with Flik last night. Mizet?s little revelation could wait. I looked around to make sure no one was paying us any attention.

    ?I saw my son last night,? I said.

    ?Ah,? Naja said. ?I see.?

    Looking around, I saw that the dining hall was only getting busier.

    ?Would you mind if we discussed this later??

    ?No problem. I was thinking of getting in some lightsabre training. Meet you there??
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.