Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by ImperialSolo, Feb 1, 2008.
I had to laugh at Valin and Anakin. I suppose boys never learn...
The male ego is oh so fragile Excellent chapter title, btw.
I loved how Valin got angry when Anakin Force-grabbed him, not because he did it but because he couldn't do it back!
I'm glad to see you're back, Imperial! I was just thinking about this a couple days ago, wondering if you were still around.
yea for an update!! thanks for the pm. i'll comment more later...homework calls!
Good things come to those who wait. That's why I hereby present to you, ladies and gentlemen, the first part of this little showdown. When we're done with this we can proceed to the fun things, like Anakin and Tahiri meeting on Tatooine and more K/J (U)ST.
I'm planning to have the second part up next weekend at the latest, so here's to no distractions...
Showdown, Part 1
General Corran Horn, Grand Master of the Reformed Jedi Order and Supreme Commander of Alliance Special Forces, walked down a metal-walled corridor, deep inside the massive armored hull of the Super Star Destroyer Vader.
He had his lightsaber in his hands, the energy blade held low and straight in front of him.
Facing him was a slim blond girl, wearing the black uniform of an Imperial commando, and armed with the red-bladed lightsaber of an Imperial Force-user.
She'd already cut through a White Current illusion-cloak and wounded half his strike-team, forcing them to retreat back to the shuttle in disarray.
Corran had stayed back here to buy them time?and to eliminate a new threat to the Rebellion.
"I'm an old fashioned guy," he said. "I don't like fighting women?but I'll do it, if I have to."
He thought back to Erisi Dlarit, and Ysanne Isard, and Mara Jade. But his pulse didn't quicken, and his breath stayed steady. He was focused, in control.
To his annoyance, the girl answered him with a slight smirk.
"You could give up now and spare yourself the embarrassment," she suggested.
Corran's eyebrows shot up "You do know who you're talking to, right?" He followed up the question with a quick, probing thrust of his blade?the first move of what he expected to be a quick, straightforward duel.
She parried, surprisingly well. "You're Rebel scum. That's all I need to know."
That smirk of hers had grown. She looked amused.
But that was okay. He was still better?and he had her measure now.
"Mindless indoctrination," he remarked "That makes this so much easier." As he spoke, he made a harder thrust towards her, cutting in the opposite direction from his first attack.
She parried again, and somehow managed to kick him in the stomach at the same time.
"Oof!" The girl was good?Corran hadn't been the only one under-playing their saber skills in those first two passes.
But he was still better. He feinted, as if to take her legs out with a swipe of his foot, then came back hard with his blade.
He grinned as she took a step back. She almost stumbled, barely catching his blade with hers.
She was looking surprised and worried now, but Corran just offered her a nasty grin, and attacked her harder, landing two meat-cleaver slices with his blade.
His aim was to batter her lightsaber down and to the left. She seemed weaker on that side, and there was a tear in the sleeve of her uniform?it looked like Tesar or Numa had caught her with a flesh wound.
Grinning, he pressed his attack.
Jaina saw Kyp's fighter twist around, and she spun her own TIE in pursuit. She pressed the firing-trigger, and punched a twin stream of laser bolts at her target.
She watched in satisfaction as the fire stripped energy from the Rebel fighter's shields, exposing the vulnerable hull plating to her guns.
For a moment, she was in two places at once. She was aware she was still sitting in the cockpit, in heavy armor, with gloved hands on the TIE's controls, and her field of vision focused by the gunsight shape of her viewport.
But she was also flying free in open space, a deadly bird-of-prey with wings of steel and laser claws. She didn't even have to focus her perceptions?she could see everything at once: the second TIE alongside her, the two Rebels up ahead, and the vast hull of the Vader above them. She knew exactly what she had to do, flying and killing without conscious thought.
She felt Jacen's will pressing behind her, feeding her desire for victory. She felt her lips peel back in a snarl, and surrendered to her true self. The/>
And a Cliffhanger at that.
what left with an cliffhab=nger? I d like to see how it goes on...
Good stuff! Keep up the exciting work!
<anxiously awaits the next post>
Wow, great update!
Corran was having some seriously unJedi-like thoughts about Tahiri...(I think there's a disclaimer in the Jedi code about using the word "whore") But who cares, the fight was sweet!
Thanks for the pm!
Was this update too long?
Done! Thank you for reading. Happy to hear that you're enjoying it!
(Slept well? )
Thank you for the kind words. I would love a detailed review, when you have time. I really like to know what people like - and what I am doing wrong!
I hope you enjoy the twists that follow, as well.
And those are both good things, right?
Another Kyp-Jaina fan? There seems to be a good audience for stories with those two!
You are making me curious, though: what are the "other things" you think about Jacen?
Not yet, anyway.
Thanks! Did you liked the fight scene, too? [-o|
Thank you for the reply!
I'm wondering if Bacta works on bruised egos.
More to follow!!
Although, to be fair, the argument was entirely Valin's fault.
No, Anakin is a Jedi, and his dad's the General!
Would it make more sense this way? "he was a Jedi Knight, and the General's son."
But who's more stubborn: the stubborn Corellian, or the stubborn Corellian who argues with him?
No. *shakes head* What would you suggest to help them to do so?
I love how you always spot really interesting things.
It's nice to know you were thinking of me and the story- thank you!
I am sorry I took so long, but I hope I will have updates much more often now!
Besides, now you don't have to feel bad any longer.
Yeah, yeah. That's what they all say.
Thanks for stopping by.
Wouldn't be as much fun without them, would it?
Soon, I hop
Was this update too long?
No, not at all!
Sorry I didn't respond right away... Time gets away from me sometimes!
I love how you always spot really interesting things.
she was also flying free in open space, a deadly bird-of-prey with wings of steel and laser claws. She didn't even have to focus her perceptions?she could see everything at once: the second TIE alongside her, the two Rebels up ahead, and the vast hull of the Vader above them. She knew exactly what she had to do, flying and killing without conscious thought.
I love that description. I could envision it, and it fits Jaina.
Corran Horn as the Grand Master is perfect, as well. I think that when Luke dies in canon, Corran should take his role?granted that he?s still alive, too!
Any other Jedi Knight could have called their lightsaber back with the Force, with barely a thought.
But Corran's family had never been any good with telekinesis.
This is so strange -- I wanted to cry when I read that?and I almost never feel that when I read books or watch movies! I think that it?s because I?d forgotten about that little detail as I was reading it so it blind-sided me and I was like, Corran?s going to die! But anyways?great job!
Note: Update soon. I promise that there will be a change of setting and mood after that. Just for those of you who don't enjoy the battle stuff.
Which makes me wonder, what do people prefer in fanfics? Action scenes or character based ones? Light or dark mood? I'd be happy to hear your opinions. Here or by PM.
No worries. Thanks for reading.
Tell me about it!
But I love hearing from you.
Really? I was worried that I went a bit too far. But she is under the influence of Jacen's battle meld there, so not really herself. Even if it probably still fits her.
After making sure that neither Anakin, nor Jacen will take over from Luke, I think Corran would be a decent choice, too. He has that necessary spark of arrogance required for the job.
Awww! Sorry for making you feel like crying. Or was that a good thing?
To be honest, I had almost forgotten about it as well, while writing this scene. Spotted it before posting, fortunately.
And hey, Corran is not dead yet! Honestly!
Note: Here's the second part, as promised. Let me know if you prefer the long or the short updates?
Showdown, Part 2
"So what happened?" Anakin asked. "Who did this?"
"Some little Sith-wannabe," Numa spat, her normally pretty face twisting with a disgusted look. She gestured at Daeshara'cor, sprawled on the deck with Valin trying to deal with her wounds. "It was her who stabbed Master Dae?. Tricked us for a moment."
Anakin raised his eyebrows, surprised by the anger and bitterness in Numa. "Yeah," he nodded?then frowned slightly, sensing something as he reached out with the Force.
"We should be ready when Corran arrives," Numa insisted.
Anakin shook his head. "I'm not starting the engines unless we have to." He glanced at Daeshara'cor. "I'm in command here, and I don't want to wipe out the entire team."
He gave her his best grin?the one that had always worked on her sister.
"Let's hope you won't," Numa said, walking over to Valin and the Major, and crouching down beside them. "How is she?"
"She'll make it," Valin said. He was trying to sound encouraging, but Anakin doubted he had any real idea.
Then Anakin's commlink made a noise. He pressed the speaker.
Corran didn't even seem to listen. "Lone Star, this is Copperhead. Get out of here!"
Valin looked up at Anakin, his eyes bright with pain. "We have to go?"
"For once," he nodded, "I agree with you."
Akanah, Numa and Tesar all hesitated.
"Maszter Horn gave us orderz to go," Tesar warned.
"And I'm giving you orders to rescue him," Anakin responded, jerking his thumb at the hatch. "C'mon."
"Captain Solo," Akanah began. The look in her eyes told Anakin that she was going to disagree?and he knew from experience that she could be as stubborn as a ronto with its feet stuck in duracrete.
"We don't have time for this!" he growled.
Then a spike of pain stabbed through the Force. All of them felt it. All of them knew that it was Corran.
"Dad!" Valin wailed.
"No arguments," Anakin said, opening the airlock. "Let's go and get him back."
Tahiri had her blade at the Jedi Master's throat, but she hesitated?she seemed to be sensing the ripple of reaction from the rest of the Alliance team.
Jacen Skywalker shook his head, and shot Corran in the back.
The Rebel Jedi's head snapped back in agony, his arms flung wide?a smoldering wound driven into his body between his shoulder blades.
Then he dropped forward to sprawl at Tahiri's feet. For a moment, he just lay there, and then he propped himself painfully on his arms, and lifted his head.
Corran Horn groaned as he looked up at the girl who'd just defeated him, and Jacen thought he heard despair as well as pain in the Jedi's voice.
Tahiri seemed to frown back at him. She glanced up at Jacen, as if looking for reassurance. He grinned encouragingly, massaging their Force-bond, and watched in satisfaction as she straightened her spine, gazing back at him with eyes as focused and fixed as lasers.
Jacen handed the blaster back to the stormtrooper standing beside him, and walked up the corridor alone, to where the injured Jedi was trying to rise in front of Tahiri.
She came smartly to attention, and saluted him. "Sir."
"Very good, Lieutenant," he purred, looking down at Horn. He allowed himself to savor the pure contempt he felt when faced with Rebel scum, then he looked back up at Tahiri, pleased and proud.
Tahiri gazed back at him?beautiful, and capable, and completely his.
"Now, kill him." He used the Force to urge her to obey. He was hungry. He could literally feed on the Force energy of moments like these.
The Rebel, of course, spoiled the moment by struggling against the pain of the wound in his back, grimacing and groaning.
And Tahiri hesitated. She didn't even bother to hide her discomfort in the Force.
Jacen smiled faintly, and reached for her in the Force. He brushed aside her lingering doubts, and took control.
Tahiri responded without hesitation, her />
Wow. I feel so wrong liking this story. LOL Just because everything is so messed up from canon. It's freaking awesome though. I love it!
No! Not Corran!
You did a brilliant job with his death, though. Poor Valin.
I love this story. The ideas in this canon are awsome. I can't wait to find out how everything got so messed up.
Oh, and I like the longer posts better, though they could come more frequent
Just keep up the good work.
Yeh, that was a tough choice to take out Corran! Gads, he was their leader, there hope! Of course evil Jacen wants to capture Anakin alive. I love how Jacen was so strong his will overpowered Tahiri and made her kill. He was so sickenly possessive and controlling. The neven Jaina wasn't capable of independent thought!
Excellent space action and detail!
As long as Anakin and Valin live to fight another day I guess I can keep reading but... maaaaaan. <sniff>
Great update. I like the subtle twist of your hand, letting us know that nobody is safe.
Hey, I may like Corran, but you had to kill him off. I understand.
Makes for some drama!
Great post, as well. The whole zoning thing that Jaina has going on is somewhat worrisome, but desperate times call for desperate measures, I guess.
Thanks very much for the pm!
I put together a teaser trailer of what's going to happen in the immediate future. Read at your own risk.
I'm planning to post a longer trailer with more spoilers soon, if people are interested. Give me a "yay" or "nay"?
Next update coming soon.
AUDIO: The Imperial March (ESB soundtrack)
EXT. SPACE: An Imperial STAR DESTROYER is cruising against a starry backdrop.
Suddenly, the mighty warship is eclipsed by the massive shadow of a much larger ship.
ANGLE ON: a SUPER STAR DESTROYER, dominating the other battleships of a large Imperial fleet.
INT. BRIEFING ROOM: A man in Imperial uniform is staring out the viewports at the stars. He turns, revealing himself as JACEN, with a cold smirk on his lips, and a hint of gold in his dark eyes.
IMPERIAL OFFICER (V/O):
INT. STAR DESTROYER CORRIDOR: A blond girl in a black Imperial uniform leads a squad of stormtroopers, marching smartly. We realize it's TAHIRI VEILA.
INT. BRIEFING ROOM: Tahiri stands to attention in front of Jacen.
ANGLE ON: a hologram image of a young man with blue eyes, untidy hair, and a lopsided grin.
INT. CANTINA: a close shot of ANAKIN SOLO himself, looking handsome and roguish in a leather jacket.
INT. BRIEFING ROOM: Tahiri looks back at Jacen.
"And you're going to kidnap him."
INT. STAR DESTROYER CORRIDOR: Anakin draws his blaster, and shoots at some stormroopers. He retreats a few steps, then throws a grenade, which detonates among the stormtroopers in an impressive explosion.
EXT. MILLENNIUM FALCON: The old freighter flies through a blast, and dodges the pursuing TIEs.
INT. MILLENNIUM FALCON: Anakin sits at the controls, flying his father's ship as if it was his own.
EXT. TATOOINE ALLEYWAY: A young woman is walking down the sunlit street, seen from behind. She has blond hair, and looks confident, but carefree.
ANAKIN SOLO (O/C):
EXT. TATOOINE ALLEYWAY: She freezes.
ANGLE ON: Tahiri's face. Anakin stands behind her. She looks really surprised and worried.
INT. STAR DESTROYER?CONFERENCE ROOM: Another woman in Imperial uniform is standing in front of Jacen: his sister JAINA.
"How could you do this to her?!"
INT. REBEL HANGAR BAY: Tahiri, no longer in uniform, is fighting KYLE KATARN in hand-to hand combat, watched by a group of Rebels.
INT. CORRIDOR: Tahiri ignites a red-bladed lightsaber, and attacks an unseen enemy. Her blade clashes with a green one.
INT. PERSONAL QUARTERS: Tahiri raises a blaster pistol, aiming at someone, with a focused look on her face.
JACEN (V/O, smirking voice):
"Tahiri will remain loyal to me,
whatever happens. I know it."
INT. MILLENNIUM FALCON?MAIN HOLD: Tahiri and Anakin stand in each other's arms, gazing into each other's eyes, about to kiss. Tahiri looks up at him, he leans in closer and slides his hand up to the back of her neck.
EXT. SPACE?FLEET BATTLE: The Super Star Destroyer stands at the center of a massive fleet of Imperial warships and TIE fighters.
"Today, the Rebellion will
EXT. SPACE?FLEET BATTLE: Ahead of the Imperial ships is a seemingly defenseless planet, but Rebel starfighters rush up to meet them.
INT. X-WING?COCKPIT: at the controls is WEDGE ANTILLES.
EXT. DANTOOINE?REBEL LANDING FIELD: as pilots rush to their fighters, LANDO CALRISSIAN stands with his cape billowing around his uniform, issuing orders to his troops.
EXT. SPACE?FLEET BATTLE: more fighting...
INT. STAR DESTROYER?COMMUNICATIONS ROOM: Jacen kneels before a hologram stage. A massive blue-glowing hologram flickers into view in front of him.
ANGLE ON: LEIA, EMPRESS SKYWALKER looks down at her kneeling son.
"Jaina is in trouble, mother?."
EXT. SPACE?STARS: A lone TIE Fighter is drifting, perhaps damaged.
INT. TIE FIGHTER?COCKPIT: Jaina is the pilot. She is breathing heavily, scared.
EXT. SPACE?TIE FI
Very cool trailer! I'm looking forward to more of the story!
...and for Corran!
I was totally expecting Luke to be the Emperor not Leia as Empress. I had kinda figured that Luke had taken the twins.
I was really begining to worry about where Han and Leia were till the end. Like Han and Chewie picking up Jaina from the wounded tie fighter.
I liked seeing Anakin bring Tahiri back or is she working an angle oh see even showing me what you have planned and I'll still be suprised.
I really like what you have lined out here and can't wait to see how it all comes together. I highlighted my responce so as not to give anything away.
Wow this on definitely caught my interest. Jacen the crrepy yet calculating commander, Tahiri as an imperial officer never imagined that. Kyp still being kyp no matter where his loyalties lie, and Jaina with the killer beast within her hmmm. Can't forget ol' Anakin Solo he'll show the Empire what's what.
Can you pm me with updates?
Nice preview! I love Dark Leia fics!