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Before - Legends Darkness Upon Us Creeps - Qui/Obi angst, COMPLETE 9/25

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by AthenaLeigh, Sep 13, 2004.

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  1. Kynstar

    Kynstar Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Mar 2, 2004
    Oh man! That was sad and scary! To tired to go on! But he gathered what energy he could to continue on! [face_love] ahhh Obi/Qui mush!! :D Love it love it!!

    And lookit! They're rescue is at hand!!! [face_dancing] Yippee!!

    Great job!! :D
     
  2. Healer_Leona

    Healer_Leona Squirrel Wrangler of Fun & Games star 9 Staff Member Manager

    Registered:
    Jul 7, 2000
    "Just in case I don't get another chance." -- *whimper* awwwww... *choke*

    As I read I kept tensing up expecting them to be caught at every turn. Are they really rescued??? Is it safe to breathe yet??? We are going to need an awful lot of comfort from those torturous post Athena!
     
  3. Arwen-Jade_Kenobi

    Arwen-Jade_Kenobi Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Feb 9, 2002
    *sobs* Qui!

    At least they're enroute home now. MOre soon!!
     
  4. DarthIshtar

    DarthIshtar Chosen One star 10

    Registered:
    Mar 26, 2001
    Mas mas mas quiero mas mas mas!
     
  5. AthenaLeigh

    AthenaLeigh Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Aug 3, 2004
    [face_laugh] Thanks so much, DarthIshtar, I'm glad you're enjoying it so much. Yup, they seem to have gotten some help, finally. I'm thinking I'm going to update tomorrow, although I might change my mind and post in just a little bit. We'll see. ;)

    diane Yup, pretty ironic, that is. But they're safe! Go, Jedi boys! *dances about* oh sorry, got distracted. Yes, Obi-Wan had to take charge, but he would never leave his Master behind. Who would train him? ;)

    The_Hutt Thank you very much. That seems to be a very popular part of the story, I didn't know I had it in me to get such a reaction. I understand what you're saying, and I will post soon. I know, I know, "That's not soon enough!" ;)

    Thanks again, Kyn, glad you enjoyed it. I must say I enjoyed writing it almost as much as everyone seems to be enjoying reading it. :D

    Leona No, don't choke! You'll miss the end. ;) Haha, yes, they're really rescued, I'll go ahead and give it away. I can't go capturing and rerescuing them with only one part left! Or can I. ;) I hope the finale satisfies those needs.

    Arwen-Jade_Kenobi I know! Poor guy! He needs hugs! Yes, more soon, aye aye!
     
  6. AthenaLeigh

    AthenaLeigh Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Aug 3, 2004
    Myeh, let's go for it! Enjoy the final part! Hope it is satisfactory. Fren is a creation of my Padawan, but I have permission to use him. ;) He's very handy.


    Darkness Upon Us Creeps
    Return


    I pull the blanket up to your chin. The Senator was kind to offer the services of his best healers, but you gracefully insisted we had our own resources. Instead, he provided us with one of his private transports so that we might leave as soon as possible.

    Now you lie here, eager to sleep off the dark memories of the dungeon. You are so tired, but you cannot keep your eyes shut. You look at me with those pools of dark blue. "Help me," you implore quietly.

    Of course I will. Kneeling beside you, I touch your face and lay my hand on your brow, releasing into your mind a tender suggestion. Your weary orbs disappear and a humble smile graces your features, grateful for the healing trance I have guided you to.

    Now that you are asleep and healing, I climb into the bunk above you, remembering just how tired I am. I take a deep breath. Feeling you resting peacefully beneath me, I join you in the senseless balm of sleep.

    I wake to your smiling face looking at me as you stand beside the bunks. "Come, we're home," you urge me. You look so happy; I know how glad you must be to finally get here.

    You touch my arm and head out the door, knowing I will follow. I hop down and trail behind you.

    We carry our bags down the ramp, breathing the open air of afternoon before entering the Temple. I fall into accustomed step behind you and to the left.

    Down to the healers we go straightaway. Fren is there, as always, ready for us. Unsurprisingly, you put up no fight when I insist he examine you first. While he takes you into the exam room, I quickly run to our quarters and drop our bags on the floor. I pause a moment to look around and thank the Force to have returned here in as good condition as we have. Our plain Jedi dwelling may be simple and far from extravagant, but nowhere else could I call home.

    I rush back to be at your side. You are still with Fren, so I sit and wait. Minutes later, you come out with bandaged torso.

    "Obi-Wan, your Master should be fine as long as he remains inactive. He has a broken rib, but it will heal all right, after a visit to the bacta tank," Fren informs me.

    I stand dismayed. "Master, how could you not tell me about that?" I ask worriedly.

    "I'm sorry, my Padawan. I didn't know." You see the look I give you and hold up your hands, begging peace. "Honestly. Everything hurts, it was just another pain. How was I to know anything was broken?"

    Understanding now, I look at you sympathetically as you nod for me to go with Fren. I have only a few bumps and scrapes, to which he applies some bacta. Then it is off to the tanks so you may heal more fully.

    When Fren suggests you stay in the healing bath for a full day, you protest. "Six hours then," he suggests, "after that we'll have a look at how you've healed. If that rib is well on its way, we'll skip the rest, as long as you check in with me tomorrow."

    Reluctantly, you climb into the chamber, knowing it is best but still so stubborn. Once you are hooked up, Fren assures that the process is proceeding and takes his leave for now.

    You hang there, suspended in the goo. I stand in front of the clear barrier looking at you, and you roll your eyes at me and smile good-naturedly. You hate being in such a helpless position and I know it. I place my hand against the transparisteel. Still smiling, you reach out and place your hand over mine, eyes sliding shut as the sedative kicks in to allow you to sleep away the hours, hand falling to your side.

    I take a seat next to the tank. It will be a long, quiet wait, but I will stay here by you.

    The floor is bare, shiny, white but not pure white, flecked with sandy grains. Once I finish my count of the individual tiles, I start on the very specks themselves. Intermittently, I glance at you, not because I expect to see a change but only to pull my mind from the humming emptiness to your fam
     
  7. The_Hutt

    The_Hutt Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Jan 7, 2004
    Awwww. What a sweet ending. I really enjoyed the paragraphs describing Qui-Gon's healing in the Bacta tanks and Obi-Wans' musings (I laughed at Qui-Gon's eye-roll, I don't blame him.) I like the descriptions of the sunset, and Obi-Wan's conclusion:
    "Rare among the Jedi you may be, but you are no less a person, and should be treated as one, respected, protected, loved. Maybe our captors could not see that, but that is what you have me for."
    Ah, what wonderful, loyal frienship these two have. I think you captured it very nicely.
     
  8. DarthIshtar

    DarthIshtar Chosen One star 10

    Registered:
    Mar 26, 2001
    Okay, the best part I think is when Qui-Gon starts sobbing into his hands, the inability to proceed with the normal until the painfully abnormal has been acknowledged. Great story!
     
  9. Layren

    Layren Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Oct 28, 2003
    Awwwww Athena -- that's so sweet -- you know how much I love this story ;) So sweet -- and wonderfully done...
     
  10. Arwen-Jade_Kenobi

    Arwen-Jade_Kenobi Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Feb 9, 2002
    Very beautiful ending to a beautiful story. Bravo!
     
  11. Kynstar

    Kynstar Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Mar 2, 2004
    Oh that was soooo sweet!!!!! *Sigh* the love between a Paddy and their Master! How touching!!!! :D Gives warm fuzzies!!

    Excellent ending!! =D= Loved it!!
     
  12. Charmisjess

    Charmisjess Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Jul 31, 2003
    ATHENA MY DEARNESS I LOVE THIS FIC SO MUCH!! *dances around it in a happy circle*


    This bit of your writing I've probably read the most out of any of your fics, so it makes me very happy to see it posted. :) It's really such a lovely fic, just the right tone mood, it's like the perfect flavor. You did such a nice job, and it must have been a lot of fun to write, because it reads beautifully.

    This third part, I noticed something I hadn't before in reading it. LOL, this is somewhat random, but I thought I'd just mention it. You use really nice words here. LOL, it sounds stupid, but you did, you used really unusual, but cool, wording especially in this bit. If I had the window open (or, rather, that my computer would let me have another window open) I would copy/paste, but as it is...
    I noticed it especially in the part where they were watching the vid, and right before Qui went into the bacta tank...and there were other places, but yes you did it very well. :)
    AWESOME JOB, in general. :D Now what are we going to write next, is the question?
     
  13. AthenaLeigh

    AthenaLeigh Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Aug 3, 2004
    The_Hutt Thanks, I'm glad those parts came out well. I don't blame him either.

    DarthIshtar Yeah, I had to put in a bit like that, need to get over the past before living in the present. Thanks so much.

    Layren, I do indeed know! Thanks so much!

    Thanks, Arwen-Jade_Kenobi, glad you enjoyed!

    Kyn I know, don't you just love it? [face_love] Thanks so much!

    Thanks so much, Jess, haha. I did enjoy writing it, but of course the best part was getting it done. ;) I'm glad you enjoyed my words, heehee. Thanks so much, and I think you know what I'm working on next. :)
     
  14. Charmisjess

    Charmisjess Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Jul 31, 2003
    Awwwwww!!! I loves this ficcie oh so much. It's my favorite of your ficlets, I almost think, except the Qui-force-collar-one...at least, my favorite angsty one. Oh, was so lovely!! So sad and perfect, and I love it. Letting the prisoners go is such a Qui thing, I know I've said it before, but is true. *hugs them* all, they need healers and warm soup. Love the fic, Athena, :) LOVE IT! You're a really good angst writer, even if you don't torture as much as... um...I do ;) *pats Qui, he shrinks away from me*
     
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