Saga - OT [DDC 2017]Teenage Rebellion--Updated 3/20/2017 (Mara/Ezra/Luke

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Raissa Baiard, Jan 3, 2017.

Moderators: Briannakin, mavjade
  1. AzureAngel2 Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 14, 2005
    star 6
    Great update!

    And I indeed have my answer: Ezra & Mara are an item.

    Poor Luke!

    PS: The name Rominaria Winstar-Worplesdon reminded me of characters that you would meet in "Jeeves and Wooster" by Woodhouse. ;) And then I loved your fic even more than before.
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  2. Ewok Poet Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 31, 2014
    star 5
    NEWSFLASH: This story is smashin' the a55 out of 2017 and IT'S ONLY FEBRUARY 04TH!!! :D
    Mushy-mush Mara who goes out of her way to deny that she is literally melting for her Ezra is still kind of...balanced and in-character. She knows the limits to mushy, she knows what naturally mushy is as opposed to the society roles bestowed upon girls of her age for no other reason than cultural bantha poodoo. Velanie, Palomella and Rominaria do not have half of the sense of identity that she does and it seems that she is aware of it. Another reason why I would like them to know that she kicks a-55 while they're still lusting over non-threatening boys who open their tesh-tunics and are totally not sexual in any way (yeah, right). :p

    Now, for those Zelosian zherry bombs...do the young officers throw up before or after diabetic coma? BWAHAHAHA. Now, that's a different kind of a drinking game. I think they call it "GTT test" in our universe.

    That was some adorable flirting. :D And, even when he's funny, Ezra has that sense of danger going on, wondering if Mara's family is OK. He learned it all hard way, but he's using it for the good of those he loves. Way to go!

    One certain farmboy who is obsessed with strange metaphors for green eyes is in for a rude, rude awakening!
    Last edited by Ewok Poet, Feb 4, 2017
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  3. Raissa Baiard Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 22, 1999
    star 4
    This is probably the mushiest scene I've ever written, all from the POV of a girl who insists she's not a romantic. Yes, we know better now. ;) Perhaps Luke senses a disturbance in the Force? Otherwise, he's still mooning over her tree-green eyes.

    Hmm...how many lives does a Loth-cat get? Even if it's the traditional nine, Ezra might be running low by now!

    I am of that "certain age", so mine was New Kids on the Block, though like Mara I was completely disinterested while my friends were obsessively crushing on them. My musical taste had little to do with the cuteness of the singers; I preferred Huey Lewis and Steve Winwood...not exactly teen heartthrobs!
    That sounds like an interesting play, and a very cool way to handle translating for the audience and showing the character's inner feelings at the same time! Mara's not quite as tough and, well, jaded in this universe, but she's still used to being self-sufficient and not sentimental, and (like her mom before her) she's got a bit of an "I'm a strong woman, I don't do mush" attitude...until she discovers mush can be kind of nice at times. [face_love]

    Thanks. Since Legends!Mara was Palpatine's enforcer and assassin at a young age (I think the Wook said by age 14), I thought that it would be natural for Mara to start using her talents early. At least here, she gets to employ her skills in a less lethal manner!

    Thank you so much! @Ewok Poet and @Findswoman have both been terrific at helping come up with some wonderfully crazy bits of fanon for this story, and @Ewok Poet was kind enough to let me borrow some of the fanon she established for her wonderfully detailed world!

    [face_blush] Thank you so much. I'm actually quite a bit like this 'verse's Mara; I was not the typical mushy teen, either, and still am not generally into chick flicks or romance novels. Which has made getting into writing romance a challenge for me, though a fun one...like Mara, I get to express the inner mush that's just below the rational surface. ;)

    The line "I won’t do any of that…at least not out loud" was inspired by the song "I Won't Say I'm in Love" from Hercules, featuring another tough girl hiding her feelings (though minus Megara's bitterness)...and yes I do watch a lot of Disney movies, why do you ask?
    [face_rofl] Does the Force sing as well as hum?

    Aw, thanks! :) Mr. Baiard and I still have our little jokes about how we met (I will spare you the mush, though it's not nearly as rom-com cute as Marzra's).

    Once again, I borrowed a bit from my own experience for Mara's with her friends. I grew up in a very small town, and probably wouldn't have been friends with some of my friends if I'd had more choices. They were into soap operas and boy bands while I was into Raiders of the Lost Ark and oldies. When they pressured me to name an actor I thought was "cute", they were unimpressed by my choice: Harrison Ford :han: And, as you note, not only can Mara not relate to her friends, she can't even be herself around them. Her activities slicing and building her lightsaber have to be carefully hidden, as does the fact that she's Force-sensitive, lest she...and perhaps her entire family...draw unwanted attention. This is one reason why she and Ezra "click" almost instantly...wow, at last someone who understands!

    Sadly, I doubt the friends have changed much at this point; they're all still 17, and still caught up in teen interests. Look for Rominaria Winstar-Worplesdon to be at least mentioned in a future entry. :D
    Thanks! They are indeed an item [face_love]...and yes, poor Luke.

    Nice catch! The name Winstar-Worplesdon was inspired by P.G. Wodehouse' characters, which have been highly recommended to me by @Findswoman. I really need to make some time to read them, because they sound mah-velous!
    Stop, you're making me blush! [face_blush] I CAN'T LIVE WITH THIS KIND OF PRESSURE;)

    Mara's parents have certainly done their part to ensure she's got that strong sense of identity. Raissa, the Imperial Prefect, encourages dance lessons and martial arts for her daughters, while Doran does his share of child-rearing (I think I shared this in Star Crossed but I picture him carrying baby Mara around the Café Alderaan in a baby sling while Raissa's at the office :) ) She's got good role models in them and support for who she is, whether or not that conforms to cultural norms, (and honestly, Raissa and Doran are just as happy that she doesn't. Neither of them give a fig about cultural expectations, either.
    [face_rofl] I remember doing that test when I was pregnant [face_bleh] Hopefully, they throw up before they hit coma stage...though Mara might feel differently. (So much easier just to drag them out than mop up)

    He's been through enough to with his Space!Family, and given what's been going on in the GFFA, it's not unreasonable for him to wonder. Ezra definitely has the compassion and the drive to protect the ones he cares about.

    This may be an understatement:D
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  4. Raissa Baiard Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 22, 1999
    star 4
    Thanks, as always, to @Ewok Poet and @Findswoman, for their invaluable help and support!

    @Briannakin, @mavjade

    Luke
    Mara is ALL I THINK ABOUT...when I wake up...when I go to sleep. I even DREAM about her (not like THAT...well, kind of like that...I mean, I dreamed that we kissed, but not...uh, never mind...) I got “killed” six times during flight simulations yesterday because I started daydreaming about her-- about us walking through the forest, holding hands. And we stopped by a waterfall (there are always waterfalls in the jungle, right?) and I looked into her incredible green eyes, greener than ALL THE LEAVES IN THE FOREST, and said...I’m going to stop writing this now…

    Anyway, I want to tell her that I LOVE HER every time I see her, but I just can’t get the words out. There’s always someone else around: the Bothans she works with, Hobbie and Janson, HAN. So I thought maybe instead of SAYING something to Mara, I should DO something to SHOW her how I feel....give her a gift, write a love poem…I found the PERFECT THING! I almost tripped over it--really! A ROCK! Not just any rock--it’s the SAME COLOR AS HER EYES and it has all these pretty silver and black sparkles running through it. It’s beautiful, just like Mara <3<3<3

    I had it in my belt pouch when I went to the mess hall. I didn’t see Mara anywhere when I came in. I can usually spot her right away, because her hair is so...colorful..no wait, VIBRANT.... When I was waiting to get my nuna surprise (which didn’t seem to have any actual nuna in it. Maybe that was the surprise?), Leia got in line behind me. “Luke! I haven’t seen you around much lately. How are you?”

    “Oh, hi, Leia. I’m okay.” I craned my neck around, trying to catch a glimpse of FLAME-RED hair. “Have you seen Mara today?”

    “You certainly have been spending a lot of time with her.” She gave me one of those not-quite-laughing smiles, and I felt my face heat up like the Dune Sea at midday. I was glad I didn’t have to say anything in reply because Leia pointed to a table in the far corner of the mess hall. “Isn’t that her?”

    It was Mara...but as usual, she wasn’t alone. This time, I didn’t recognize the person sitting across from her: a dark-haired guy in orange coveralls and a leather jacket. They were leaning towards each other across the table, and whatever they were talking about must have been really funny because they both had the biggest smiles. I started over to her and heard Leia behind me, “Wait, Luke, I’m not sure she…” I never heard the rest of what she said; I was already halfway across the mess hall.

    Mara practically JUMPED when I sat down next to her, like she hadn’t even heard me come up. “Oh...hi, Luke,” she said with a kind of a sigh. (She SIGHED! That’s a good sign, right?). “Ezra, this is Luke Skywalker, and Princess Leia Organa.”

    Leia came up on the other side of the table next to Mara’s friend and smiled at him. “We’ve met before. Nice see you again, Ezra...especially when you’re not pointing a stun rifle at me.”

    The dark-haired Rebel--Ezra--smiled back sheepishly. “Sorry about that, but you did tell me to make it look good.”

    “Wait, you stunned Princess Leia?!? You never told me that story!” Mara looked almost as appalled as I felt. He STUNNED LEIA? What kind of nerf-brained womp rat would STUN LEIA? Even HAN never sunk that low!

    Leia just laughed. “It was my idea.” She gestured to the seat next to Ezra. “May I?”

    Mara sighed again, shrugging a little as she nodded. Leia sat down and started telling how she met Ezra on a planet called Lothal…something about how he and a guy named Kanan helped her steal her own ships? It didn’t make a lot of sense, but that might be because I was only half listening. I couldn’t take my eyes off of Mara...I don’t know what it was, but she seemed EVEN MORE BEAUTIFUL than usual. Her eyes were extra sparkly, and I don’t know how, but it was like she was almost GLOWING like..like a lightbug glowing and sparkling in the jungle!

    The story must have been a good one, because they were all laughing over something when this HUGE PURPLE ALIEN stomped over and clapped a massive hand on Ezra’s shoulder. “There you are. General Hera sent me to find you so you can finish up on the Ghost.”

    “Come on, Zeb…”

    The purple alien was not moved. He crossed his arms over his chest. “Nope, General’s orders. Sabine said you were goi]ng to finish after dinner, which, since you don’t seem to be eating, is now.” He grinned a wicked grin that showed off a few too many pointy teeth for me. “I could always carry you back to the Ghost like a sack of topatoes. I’m sure that would impress Mara.”

    She laughed...she has such a beautiful SPARKLY laugh. “I’d like to see that, actually.”

    “Oh, you’re gonna take his side?” Ezra protested.

    “Go on, I don’t want to get you in trouble with Hera on your first day here.” Mara smiled a smile that lit up like...more lightbugs, reached across the table and squeezed his hand… I guess they must be pretty good friends?

    “Right then, come on!” Zeb hauled Ezra off the bench and shoved him towards the entrance. “I’ll com you later,” Ezra called over his shoulder as the alien nudged him along.

    Mara watched him go, which seemed kind of strange to me. It was like she hadn’t seen him in YEARS or something. (I guess they must be really good friends. Maybe he’s a decent guy even if he did STUN THE PRINCESS.) She sat quietly for a few minutes, poking at what was left of her nuna surprise, and sighed again, a huge gusty sigh this time. “I should be going, too. Maybe I can make some progress on decrypting my file before bed.”

    “Wait, Mara, don’t go yet!” I stood up and called after her, but she must not have heard me. I sank back down onto the bench, my heart sinking, too, like it fell into the sarlacc pit. “Awwww….I never even got to give her my present!”

    “You had a present for her?” Leia asked.

    I pulled it out of my belt pouch and held it to her. “Isn’t it perfect for Mara?”

    Leia turned over in her hands a couple of times and frowned at it. “It’s a rock.”

    “It’s a BEAUTIFUL rock! It’s as beautiful as she is...as green as her eyes! And sparkly like her eyes! It’s perfect for her!” Why am I the only one who sees these things? I thought girls were supposed to be ROMANTIC! Especially princesses. Now it was my turn to sigh. “I’m never going to get to tell her how I feel with all these people around all the time...not you, Leia, sorry…” Now it was my turn to sigh “...and I just..I love her.”

    She gave me a strange look that I didn’t understand, not an “oh that’s so sweet, I’m so happy you found the LOVE OF YOUR LIFE” kind of look, more...confused? And a little sad? “But Luke, what about Ezra?” she asked, as if she was picking her words very carefully.

    “Huh?” Why did she change the subject like that? I don’t get it. “I don’t know; I guess he’s okay…”

    Leia opened her mouth, shut it, opened it again, and said something I didn’t catch, because I had a GREAT IDEA: I’ll leave the rock and a note for Mara--like a SECRET ADMIRER. It’ll be just like that holo-rom Aunt Beru used to watch: You’ve Got Holo-transmissions! It’s PERFECT! It’s ROMANTIC!!1 And at last I can reveal myself to Mara...I mean, reveal MY FEELINGS to her!

    Notes: Princess Leia and Ezra met in the Rebels episode "A Princess on Lothal".
    Last edited by Raissa Baiard, Feb 7, 2017
  5. Ewok Poet Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 31, 2014
    star 5
    Of course, Luke - those two are definitely FRIENDS and every girl LOVES rocks. And this is the kind of an entry where one HAS to quote THINGS in a review and GET INTO THE CHARACTER'S HEAD.

    Dude, you were dreaming of an alternate universe where some of this happens on Myrkr.

    AND YES, TOTALLY NOT THOSE THINGS. YOUR THOUGHTS ARE AS PURE AS YELLOW WAMPA-MARKED SNOW OF HOTH. :p

    Seriously, he's awkward in his own diary. :D

    I was worried there for a second, it sounded as if Luke was getting "lessons" from Hobbie. :p

    AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGA. I can't even!

    I thiiiink that a Blayne girl WOULD fall for him. But not Mara Jade Blayne. :p

    YOU'RE KILLING ME HERE. :D
  6. Briannakin Grand Moff Darth Fanfic & Costuming/Props Manager

    Manager
    Member Since:
    Feb 25, 2010
    star 5
    Oh dear. This can not end well for all parties involved. Luke is about as dense as his rock. I'm cringing. This is great.

    I can only imagine what Mara would do if she found this diary.

    I loved the mentions of the events of Princess on Lothal and the second meeting of Ezra and Leia. I always wondered if they met again and what that meeting would be like (I'm not caught up on S3 so no spoilers!).

    [face_rofl] This made me laugh so very hard. Poor Luke. Poor naive Luke.
  7. divapilot Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 30, 2005
    star 4
    This just gets better and better. I loved Mara's entry. It's fascinating to see how she evolved from being a slicer to joining the rebellion. Her girlfriends are busy fangirling over pop stars and she's cracking imperial codes. Then she meets Ezra and you can tell how much she missed him and how much she loves him. It's so sweet. I liked the way you incorporated the way she felt the Force change around her when he kissed her.

    And Luke - OH CAPITAL LETTERS I LOVE HER! Let's give the girl a sparky rock that matches the sparkle of her sparkly eyes so she will sparkle with ETERNAL LOVE FOR ME! The poor guy has no idea what's going on right in front of him. Surely someone must see that he is a completely smitten kitten. It would be a kindness to tell him now that Mara is already taken.

    This is such a departure from the usual Luke/Mara stories, but I'm liking it! I can see how Mara and Ezra could connect. They are a cute couple.
    [face_love]
  8. Raissa Baiard Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 22, 1999
    star 4
    Inside Luke's head is a STRANGE PLACE. Like you said in an earlier comment, this is what happens when your social life is all about power converters and there's exactly one girl your age within a 50 kilometer radius. And when that girl is Camie...no wonder Luke never quite got all those social skills. :p

    Hmm...there's an interesting idea: Luke dreaming of Legends!Luke and Mara. Just as long as he doesn't realize that she really wants to kill him at that point.

    No! Not like that at all....Luke is NOT LISTENING!

    Now there's a scary thought. Hobbie is unlikely to do much to improve his social skills in any way.


    Apparently, neither can Dex...[face_sick]

    Yes, it's really too bad Annina is only ten. But maybe they could just get together and talk about all things sparkly.:D

    [face_devil] My work here is done.
    Thanks. Glad that you're cringing in a good way ;)

    [face_laugh] Oh, poor Luke. He should keep this well hidden. Mara would not be amused.

    I'm not caught up, either, so no spoilers from me. (And I wouldn't even if I was. Thanks Pinterest, for spoiling Rogue One for me!). I thought it would be fun for the two of them to meet again, too, and at least having Leia there saved dinner from being completely awkward.

    Dex's cooking is never going to win any awards. It's reminiscent of college cafeteria food...which kind of fits in with all the young adult drama.
    Thank you so much! Mara's entries are probably the most fun for me to write; she's a lot like I was at that age. She's a lot more grounded and aware than her fan girl friends because of her unique family situation.

    If, to quote @Findswoman's The Jewels of . . . WHAT?!, the Force is "the love that binds the stars", then I think expressing love could change how the Force "feels" and make it hum as if all's right in the Galaxy...but that could just be me being mushy. [face_love]

    Someone does realize...but Luke isn't listening because he has a GREAT, SPARKLY IDEA when's she's trying to clue him in.

    Again, thank you so much! :). As much as I like Luke and Mara together (I do, really!) it's so much fun to play against all the ideas of true love and destiny that get tossed around with them--sorry, Luke. When I first had the evil plot bunny to have Mara and Ezra meet, it occurred to me how much more they have in common at this point than Mara and Luke. Ezra's a cool resistance fighter with five years worth of Jedi training, while Luke is still fresh off the moisture farm and has maybe five days of Jedi training (how long does it take to get from Tatooine to Alderaan?). I'm glad that you like them together, too....I was worried at first that the overall reaction would be "Nooooo! How dare you! L/M forever!" ;)
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  9. Raissa Baiard Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 22, 1999
    star 4
    Thanks to my fabulous betas and great friends, @Ewok Poet and @Findswoman @};-
    @Briannakin, @mavjade

    Mara
    I overslept this morning. I couldn’t sleep last night; I had too many things on my mind, or I guess, just one thing that took up all of my thoughts.

    I still can’t believe Ezra’s here. It’s so strange to think we’re going to be together longer than it takes to load supplies on the Ghost, that we'll actually be able to see each other whenever we want to. It would have been nice if we’d had a chance to talk longer last night before Leia and Luke joined us, but at least Ezra commed me after he finished with the Ghost. He told me about their mission, going to Jedha, and how lifeless it was there. I can’t even imagine what it must have been like to be someplace so dead in the Force. I wish I had known... I wish I could have been there for him, somehow…. It was so good to talk to Ezra again, like we used to. I didn’t realize just how much I’d missed our conversations, missed hearing his voice. And there I go, getting mushy again...

    All those thoughts kept chasing each other around in my mind last night. By the time I got up, there was a line for the showers. (And like with the ’freshers, there are not nearly enough of them for all of us. I’m sure the men don’t have to deal with this.). When I finally finished and came back to the barracks, a knot of women--Prisk and a couple of pilots I only half-know--were standing around whispering over something. They stopped when they saw me, and, I swear, started giggling like Velanie and Mella over the Boyz of the New Order. “Oh, Mara,” Prisk called, making Wrendui kissy-faces at me, “Your little sweets patogga left something for you!”

    My heart thumped, and they giggled harder at my silly grin, but I just couldn’t help it. A present from Ezra? It was unexpected...and sweet. Prism handed me a small, lumpy package---something hard wrapped in a piece of flimsi, tied with a piece of twine in a sloppy bow. My name was written on the outside in messy handwriting, with a crooked heart around it. When I pulled off the twine and unwrapped it, inside was a rock about as big as my fist. A rock. Seriously…. And on the other side of the flimsi was a note in the same untidy scrawl:

    “Dearest Mara,
    This rock is as green and sparkly as your eyes. Your eyes are as green as ALL THE LEAVES IN THE FOREST and they sparkle more than ALL THE DEW DROPS ON YAVIN.

    You are beautiful and I love you NOW AND FOREVER!”

    If Ezra wanted to surprise me, he certainly did, but maybe not in the way he meant to. First of all, what's with the weird capitalization? And since when does he use words like “sparkly” or compare my eyes to….leaves? Does he really think I’m the kind of girl who gets excited about sparkly things? Did he confuse me with my little sister? And he loves me “now and forever”? Um...okay. This is the way he decides to tell me that, in a sappy note sounds like Annina wrote it? Really? Maybe I should have been swooning at that but somehow it didn’t even sound as real as a simple “love you, Ace.”

    “She doesn't look very happy,” one of the pilots said as I stared at the awful note. I can’t say that I was. I thought Ezra knew me better than that. I thought we knew each other better than that, but the note seemed to have been written by someone else entirely. But then I remembered what Ezra told me about Jedha, and how he and Kanan felt drained and tired all the time. Maybe it was harder on him than he realized and he still wasn’t quite himself. I mean, he did try to do something nice for me. The rock...is kind of pretty, I guess. It does sparkle. And he did say I was beautiful and he loves me. Maybe I need to cut him some slack until he has a chance to reconnect in the Force.

    I had mostly calmed down when I caught up with Ezra outside the mess hall. If there was something the matter with him, I couldn’t tell. He looked fine--he looked good--and he felt better than fine in the Force...and there was certainly nothing wrong with his good-morning kiss! Still, I decided I ought to give him the benefit of the doubt. “I got your note. It was...really sweet.”

    “Note?”

    “The one with the rock.” Maybe he was a little off, after all. How could he have forgotten about it already? He couldn’t have left it for me more than a couple hours ago. I smiled encouragingly at him. “It’s pretty, very...uh, sparkly. I can use it as a flimsi-weight at my desk, and I’ll think of you when I look at it.”

    Now Ezra stared at me as if I was the one who was a little off. “The note you left outside my barracks this morning,” I insisted, pulling it out of my belt satchel and handing it to him.

    He stopped in the middle of the mess hall doorway, crunching the edges of the flimsi in his hands. “I didn’t write this.” His face darkened and his presence went from better than fine to decidedly not fine.

    Is it wrong that I was relieved he hadn’t written it? It’s not that I wanted it to be from someone else, but it was good to know that Jedha hadn’t done some kind of memory wipe on Ezra. I like him the way he is. Besides, I had a pretty good idea of who sent it. What is with some guys that they think “no” means “yes” and “leave me alone, you fragging nerf-brain” means “please try harder”.

    And speaking of Lord Nyax, who should be heading to breakfast at that moment besides dear, sweet Hobbie.

    “Derek Klivian!” I called him using what Nick and I called the Voice of Doom, something we’d picked up from Mom--part Imperial command, part Force-summons. He froze in his tracks, and I marched up to him, skewering him with a look. My parents are very good at Force-assisted Looks. Dad stops bar fights; Mom stares down criminals. I don’t mean to be immodest, but I don’t think they could have done better than the Look I gave Hobbie. He was squirming like a sand maggot when I waved the note in his face. “Do you think this is funny, Klivian?”

    He read the flimsi and broke into hysterical, snorting giggles, a lopsided smirk fighting against the Look. “Yes, actually, I think it’s extremely funny. Don’t get your microgarments in a bunch, Bridger,” he told Ezra, who was standing behind me, glowering. “I didn’t write it. But I’d like to congratulate whoever did. That...is...priceless!” I gave him another dose of the Look, and let him scamper off before he wet himself...or maybe after. I didn’t keep track of which way he went.

    So if it wasn’t Hobbie and it wasn’t Ezra, then who sent this note? If it’s a joke, it’s really not funny, and when I catch them, I’m going to make them eat their stupid, sparkly rock. And if it’s not a joke… then there’s someone out there who thinks they love me “now and forever.”

    Oh, good skies, I don’t want this. I don’t need this. Mella and Velanie would probably think it's so romantic to have a secret admirer, but I just got Ezra back. That’s all the romance I need. This note, the rock...it isn’t romance; it’s just drama and complications.

    I do NOT need this.
    Last edited by Raissa Baiard, Feb 11, 2017
  10. Briannakin Grand Moff Darth Fanfic & Costuming/Props Manager

    Manager
    Member Since:
    Feb 25, 2010
    star 5
    Bahahahahaha. I love that Hobbie got blamed. Poor, poor Hobbie.

    Great update!
  11. A Blind Prophet Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 25, 2016
    star 4
    gotta say, i'm really enjoying this. love your mara and ezra (though i know next to nothing about him, having not actually seen rebels at all). i'm going to be following along with this for sure. love your writing with this, and fleshing everything out.

    is that actually how hobbie is in rebels? because oy... if so, i'm seriously missing old dour hobbie. >_<

    i'll try to give a better set of comments next update, but i just read the whole thing and that's more time than i have to really go into details. >_<
  12. Ewok Poet Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 31, 2014
    star 5
    I can totally imagine Mara's face when reading that AMAZING note and assuming that Ezra has gone absolutely nuts and then, poor girl, rationalising that it could be a "logical" consequence of his mission to Jedha. Knowing that neither of them are the types to use metaphors and that, despite the big heart hiding underneath, Ezra is street-smart and therefore more likely to flirt in simple ways, like some sort of a punk kid, I don't think that she actually wants to believe it. :p She just loves him too much that she would forgive him this kind of über-cheesy nonsense. And perhaps, perhaps, knowing that he's a trickster, she could assume that it's a joke, something that they could recall in years' time and laugh about it....I mean, IT'S A KRIFFIN' ROCK. :D

    I don't think that these kissy-kissy folks influenced her in a way where she would become like her "friends" back on Merkesh. But the fact that even the tough girls have such personality trait says a lot - we're expected to be like TEE-HEE, A NOTE FROM A BOY, OHYMFORCE. However, they might have made her make peace with it, because she's all lovey-dovey, in her own way, on her own terms, in the next paragraph. Heck, she's even chanelling Manfred Mann. :p

    Show Spoiler



    Great insertion of this tidbit of Doran's cultural heritage here. =D=^:)^ Of course that Mara knows about a Corellian myth for scaring the kids, since her dad is Corellian, despite having been a Jedi and forced (no pun intended) to abandon attachments. I know how small this is compared to the rest of the entry, but it's the best thing about it and I am not sure how I'd missed it when I beta'd this for you.


    LOL, Voice of Doom....AND ITS DESCRIPTION. ROTFLMAO!!! [face_laugh]

    I know he's been falsely accused here and that we could use a GFFA St. Nicholas type to save him, but at the same time, he deserved it, because...

    1. He was weird before.
    2. He will definitely make use of this incident, somehow.
    3. He's Hobbie.

    And then, we arrive to the end of the chapter and another super-strong realisation on behalf of our feminist!Mara. Secret admirers are not romantic in most of the cases - in fact, they're über-creepy. In this very case, it's a harmless fool who is only grasping the basics of life outside of his sweet, idealistic mind, but in many cases, they will be creeps, the previously mentioned types who don't take "no" as no and various Hobbies with Casanova reputations, maybe even Wes Jansons with suspicious Ewok fur fetishes. :p

    This may or may not have been the best entry so far - KUDOS. ^:)^
  13. Findswoman Fanfic Awards Host

    Game Host
    Member Since:
    Feb 27, 2014
    star 4
    Oh no, oh no! I know that in the previous entries I've giggled and tee-heed about Luke's amorous cluelessness and about the utterly ridiculous gift of the SPARKLY ROCK!1!1!, but at this point I almost feel guilty about doing so, because a shadow is starting to fall over things. This is, in its way, a real wrencher of an entry—I'm really feeling for Mara here, and can't at all blame her for being stressed out, creeped out, weirded out, and totally befuddled all at once. This kind of impromptu anonymous communication is most definitely not the right way to do romance, and definitely not how one "talks to a lady"—to turn Mr. Lovestruck Mooka!Luke's own rhetoric back on himself. And on top of that, it's casting a dark shadow over Mara at a time when she deserves to be extra happy—her reunion with her real sweetheart. (Not that the surprise note and gift would be any more OK or less unpleasant if Mara weren't already in love with someone else, of course.)

    Mara's train of thought here is very believable. The sort of rationalizing that she starts out with—it has to be a from Ezra, and he must not be himself post-Jedha—is such a natural first reaction when something isn't quite right. When he says no (and it says a lot for the trust they have in each other that she believes him immediately), naturally she moves on to the supposition that this must be a crazy Rogue-type prank—another very believable supposition given her setting. The confrontation with Hobbie is fantastic. First, I just love Mara's deployment of the Voice of Doom (golly, no one in the Galaxy knows that voice better than the children of Raissa Blayne, née Baiard! :D ). Second, it highlights such a world of difference between Hobbie's and Ezra's personalities: Ezra immediately, directly, and earnestly states that he did not do it, while Hobbie's reaction is to go ahead and turn it into a joke anyway (without considering, of course, that this whole thing is far from funny from Mara's point of view). Like @Ewok Poet says, it seems likely that he's going to file this incident away for later.

    Can't wait for more—both because I hope Mara will soon get some reassurance, and because I suspect we're in for a comedy of amorous errors worthy of 18th-century Italian opera buffa! :D
  14. AzureAngel2 Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 14, 2005
    star 6
    I enjoy myself pretty much here, even tough I suffer along with Luke. He does not have the wicked humour that Ezra possesses. He is not a dirty street dog, even though her grew up on a speckle of dust. There is too much honesty and fairness about him.
    Findswoman likes this.
  15. Raissa Baiard Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 22, 1999
    star 4
    [Reserved for responses]
    AzureAngel2 likes this.
  16. Raissa Baiard Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 22, 1999
    star 4
    @Briannakin, @mavjade

    To my fabulous beta readers, @Ewok Poet and @Findswoman @};-

    Ezra
    Has every guy on Yavin been hitting on Mara while I was gone?

    There’s Hobbie...well, that’s not really a surprise. Is there a female on base he hasn’t hit on? Mon Mothma--maybe, but I wouldn’t put it past him. It’s like a game with him. I could almost--almost--feel sorry for him, getting the Look from Mara. It was as good as one of her mom's, which, trust me, you do not want to be on the receiving end of. And he did get off pretty easy, considering I’ve seen her handle bounty hunters who could eat Derek Klivian for breakfast.

    Then there’s the mysterious note writer, who says he loves Mara “now and forever.” I’d like to find him and give him a clue. She has a boyfriend; she doesn’t need you and your rock. She’s not the girl you’re looking for...move along.

    “You really thought I wrote that?” I asked Mara. I didn’t add “…piece of poodoo,” which is what I was thinking. I may never have written her a love letter, but I bet I could do it better than that! Her eyes are like leaves and dewdrops? Seriously? Aren’t you supposed to go for something like “your eyes are greener than emeralds and more beautiful than corusca gems”? (See? I’m not even trying and already it’s better.)

    Mara gave me a look (but at least not a Look). “Who else would I think was sending me love notes?”

    Okay, when you put it like that…

    And then there’s Skywalker.

    Sometimes it feels like Mara and I are doomed never to have a moment alone together. Whenever we’re actually in the same place at the same time--and that’s been rare enough--anyone who can interrupt us will: Zeb, Chopper, Mara’s little sister, her mom, random bounty hunters and Imperial officers… Last night, Skywalker and Princess Leia showed up before Mara and I ever had a chance to talk. (How do you tell a princess who also happens to be an officer in the Rebellion that you’d rather be alone with your girlfriend?). And then Skywalker turned up again this morning…He’s like a stray Loth-cat--pat it on the head once, and it’ll follow you around forever. I wonder how Mara got to be so lucky, because I know he wasn’t there to talk to me. I might as well have been invisible as far as Skywalker was concerned. He kept chatting to Mara about the weather and the other pilots and their flight-sims, watching her the whole time with this moony, hopeful look on his face, like he was waiting for her to say something.

    *Isn’t there any way to get rid of this guy?*

    Mara’s silent laugh rippled through the Force. *No, not really. Don’t worry, he’s a harmless mooka pup….just a little eager.*

    A little annoying, you mean. It was impossible for me and Mara to talk about anything important while he was there. I still haven’t got the whole story of why she’s here on Yavin; at this rate, I never will.

    Mara finally gave up on her bowl of gloppy porridge. “I’m not really hungry; I might as well get started on that file from yesterday. Walk with me?”

    “Sure!” Skywalker jumped up with a big grin on his face--yeah, I don’t think she was talking to you--and tagged along all the way to Intel.

    Saying good-bye was awkward; somehow having Skywalker around was more uncomfortable than Life Day with the whole crew and Mara’s entire family there, so saying good-bye was all it was. *I’ll meet you here at lunch time. We’re going to have a meal with just you and me, no mookas allowed.*

    When I started back to the Ghost, Skywalker was still following me.

    “You and Mara are pretty good friends, huh?”

    “You could say that.” *Go away. Why aren’t you going away?*

    He sighed, and he sounded just like Mara’s little sister swooning over something sparkly. “She’s really great, isn’t she?” The look on his face was, I don’t know, almost worshipful, like he was talking about his favorite holo-actress or something. “She speaks four different languages, did you know that? And she’s been a slicer since was ten!”

    “Yeah, actually, I did know that.” I was starting to have suspicions about this Mr. Harmless Mooka Pup that I didn’t like very much. “She also knows k’tara and has a aurodium medal in Junior Marksmanship.”

    “Oh. Really? Wow, she never told me that.” Skywalker deflated a little--I guess I was supposed to be stunned and amazed by those revelations--but he perked back up just as fast when a pilot from his squadron--Janson, I think--yelled across the courtyard, “Skywalker! Get over here. It’s time for flight sims and I can’t wait to kill you again!”

    He grinned at me like suddenly I was his new best friend as he jogged off to join the other pilots. “Gotta go! Talk to you later, Ezra!”

    Not if I can help it.

    So...what am I going to do about all these other guys? I think Mara handled Hobbie pretty well, but there’s still the Mystery Writer and the Mooka Pup. Hmm… I know I threatened to split Hobbie’s pants with the Force, but maybe there’s someone who deserves it more.
  17. A Blind Prophet Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 25, 2016
    star 4
    oh, poor, poor luke. >_< he really is completely oblivious to everything.

    ezra being suspicious of luke is amusing, thing is he really is just that earnest at this point. but i can definitely feel sorry for him, wanting some time alone with someone he loves is definitely imminently reasonable. especially with all of the guys sniffing around. i'm thinking i may have to actually watch rebels because of this. i wasn't terribly thrilled with the first few episodes, but ezra's a character i think i could enjoy watching develop i have to say.

    i'm looking forward to seeing this whole mess get resolved, and dealing with the fallout. especially when ezra finds out that mara is there for luke, i don't see him liking that very much at all, could also definitely be a misunderstanding in that so easily. because being male and so forth. >_<

    gotta love luke being so friendly to everyone, even when they don't want anything to do with him. have to wonder how many other people that are like that with him.

    excellent entry overall, looking forward to a lot more. going to be an interesting year. ^_^
  18. Briannakin Grand Moff Darth Fanfic & Costuming/Props Manager

    Manager
    Member Since:
    Feb 25, 2010
    star 5
    Oh! And the classic love triangle intensifies!

    I'm sorry. The image of this just hurt my brain, and that isn't easy to do!

    Great update!
  19. divapilot Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 30, 2005
    star 4
    Great updates! I love the gift of the beautiful green SPARKLY ROCK!!!111!!!!eleven!!!!
    Poor Luke is clueless indeed. It's too great that Hobbie is the obviously the culprit. He'd hit on any woman including possibly Mon Motha? What a dawg.
    The scene with Mara and Ezra is wonderful. Their shared history is obvious and Luke doesn't quite understand that she actually had a life before he arrived. I loved the way that Mara and Ezra communicate around Luke, and still he doesn't get it.

    Your diary gets better and better. Love it. :D
  20. Findswoman Fanfic Awards Host

    Game Host
    Member Since:
    Feb 27, 2014
    star 4
    I mentioned the beginnings of a dark shadow over Mara in the previous entry, and that shadow is growing, because now it's encompassing Ezra too. And here too I don't blame him: this is the time when he should be happiest because of being reunited with his beloved, but he is hampered not only by the increasing shortage of "mooka-free time" but also by the sneaking suspicion that someone, somewhere around this base, is paying the wrong sort of attentions to his beloved and causing her distress. (He doesn't for a minute suspect her of being complicit with it, of course—it's all out of genuine concern for her well-being and happiness.)

    But this is also where we're seeing Ezra's hotheaded side threatening to become manifest—he is 100% capable of Force-splitting the pants of anyone who crosses him or those he loves, for any reason. And I will be most curious to see if that will become necessary once he puts two and two together and realizes that the Mysterious Writer and Skywalker are one and the same—as he no doubt eventually will.

    And we get a tiny taste of his poetic side, too: yes, the corusca gems and emeralds are definitely far a more evocative and effective simile. (And what an apt one from an Aladdin-like Diamond in the Rough! ;) )

    As for Mon Mothma, well, in her way she is quite a beauty. But a different kind of beauty than what Hobbie's after of course.
    Last edited by Findswoman, Feb 20, 2017
  21. mavjade It's so FLUFFY! Fanfic Manager

    Manager
    Member Since:
    Sep 10, 2005
    star 6
    I got way behind! (Stupid papers for school!)

    Luke is so adorbs, I just can't handle it! I thought the gift was sweet. [face_love] But also hilarious in that Mara has no idea who sent it! I love that once she knew Erza hadn't sent it, she blamed Hobbie!

    I'm starting to worry that someone is going to get their heart broken and I don't want that to happen! :( But it's fun seeing how this is developing!

    =D=
  22. AzureAngel2 Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 14, 2005
    star 6
    I am close founding a Luke Fan Club over this issue. But then again I have little time these days and I rather spent it following this cute holodrama with an immense fun factor.
    Kahara and Raissa Baiard like this.
  23. Ewok Poet Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 31, 2014
    star 5
    Ezra's first sentence is a good, good question. Then again, Mara is a smart girl, some guys like it that way. Some others just have these redhead stereotypes in their heads and they need to be blasted, with the E-11 set to "stun". :D

    The difference between the Look (na na na na na....) and a regular look is priceless, though I believe I had already said so before.

    Just like I said during the beta - this is very familiar. :D

    "The way Malani stares at me with those big, moony eyes... Reminds me of the way Latara stares at Teebo."
    ―Wicket W. Warrick

    The most accurate comparison of any two beings in the Universe, ever. Now, I am a bit worried about Luke - his social skills aren't the best and he's caught among a crowd that can outsmart him to an impossible degree - a street rat, a been-there-done-that smuggler, wild pilot boys (and girls!) and at some point, he might end up annoying the heck out of everybody.

    The more threatening Ezra tries to make Mara, the more impressed Luke is. D'OH!

    And I am definitely not on Luke's team here because he's a clear third wheel, but I still don't want him to get TOO hurt. After all, a mooka pup, he is. :yoda:
    Kahara and Findswoman like this.
  24. Raissa Baiard Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 22, 1999
    star 4
    Trying to catch up on responses for the last two entries, because my iPad ATE all of my responses to Mara's last entry TWICE. It's enough to make me go ALLCAPS!1!

    Don't feel too bad for Hobbie; he did get off pretty lightly, considering the number of forceful (and/or Force-ful) ways Mara could have dealt with him :D
    Thanks! Hobbie's really a pretty minor character on Rebels; he's only been in two episodes. Any errors in characterization are mine, because it's been too many years since I've read any of the X-wing books and my memory is fuzzy :p I'll try and tone Hobbie down a little. :)
    Even ace pilots and Bothan spies love to gossip-- Yavin base has to be a lot like your typical small town in this regard--and nothing makes better gossip than relationship drama! This happens all the time in RL, with people who are theoretically mature; when I worked at the Major Insurance Company library, I got flowers from a client in honor of Library Week and women who were old enough to be my mother were all TEE HEE WHO SENT RAISSA FLOWERS.

    Manfred Mann [face_laugh] I didn't notice that until you pointed it out! (He looked GOOD, he looked FINE...Mara thought he lost his mind [face_laugh])

    Sing it, Meghan!
    Thank you! I needed the GFFA equivalent of "speak of the devil", and using Nyax seemed perfect in this case. In this universe, the non-attachment doctrine isn't as strictly enforced, so Doran had some contact with his birth family (similar to the way young Obi-Wan is mentioned visiting his family in the Jedi Quest books). Hopefully, Doran didn't tell the kids too many scary stories' Annina, at least, would have run screaming from the room :p


    Yep, that's the problem with this kind of anonymous "love" note; you never know who's on the other end, and the sender isn't taking into account that his recipient's heart may beat faster not because she's in love, but because she's freaking out. On the other hand, the "secret admirer" trope is so common in rom-coms like You've Got Holo-transmissions and its RL counterpart You've Got Mail that it's understandable that Luke would think his note is romantic rather than creepy.
    I do have a lot of sympathy for Luke, even though he's played for comedy here. At that age, I was also crushing hard on someone who didn't reciprocate the feeling. Of course, now I'm looking back on my teenage angst with years of experience, thinking "oh my goat, I was such an idiot then!"

    Luke is definitely not a dirty street dog, but then, I don't think Ezra is, either. He may have started out as a self-interested street rat, but he's grown a lot over the years. There's a lot of fairness and honesty to him, too, and under different circumstances, they'd probably get along well.
    Being a mom, I've definitely used the Voice of Doom's mundane equivalent; it would be nice if I could summon the Force to back it up. :D

    . That's one of the things I enjoy about Rebels--the characters do grow and develop. Ezra goes from being a street rat who's only out for number one to a Jedi padawan who stands up for what's right, protects the weak and especially those he cares about.

    :D Yeah, he's unlikely to be happy about that, since Mr. Harmless Mooka already has designs on Mara.

    He is just so genuinely nice, I think he almost can't conceive that anyone would NOT want him tagging along.
    Thanks! It's going to be a roller coaster for our three narrators, that's for sure!
    [face_devil] My work here is done! [face_devil]
    Hobbie's profile on the Wook characterizes him as a womanizer to the point of hiring escorts, so I figured his requirements could be summed up as: female, preferably good looking. :p

    You're right, it's as if Luke doesn't really see Mara as a whole person, just this AMAZING, SPARKLY creature he idealizes. Every single thing she does is incredible and she can do no wrong. He needs to take a step back and realize she's more than just his dream, hopefully before he does something really foolish! ;)
    I don't think he would suspect Mara of encouraging their interest; he's seen enough of Hobbie to know how he works and Mara's obviously not happy about Mysterious Writer once she finds out it's not him.

    [face_whistling]

    …and rather unlikely to be impressed by the advances of a randy pilot :p
    Yes, under other circumstances, with a more polished (/rimshot) delivery, the sparkly rock could have been a very sweet token. It is, in it's own way, thoughtful and "every beautiful thing reminds me of you" is a lovely sentiment. The anonymous delivery and the fact that Luke obliviously overlooks the fact that-- hey, that guy she's with is more than a friend--takes some of the luster off.
    Luke is an awfully cute little mooka, even if he is a bit clueless :) Thanks!
    Thinking of anyone particular here? ;P
    And now I have that song in my head. Thanks...

    But at least Ezra realizes the cause of those moony eyes;)

    Let's hope he mellows out a bit and his new friends can help him move past the ALLCAPS DRAMA before that happens. Then again, character growth is PAINFUL, OH THE ANGST!1!

    Because everything she does is AMAZING and INCREDIBLE and INCREDIBLY AMAZING. Even if it does mean she could kick his shebs from here to Coruscant if you annoy her.
    Oh no, are we dividing up into teams here? Do I need to make graphics and t-shirts for Team Luke and Team Ezra? [face_rofl] If so, I've been more successful at YA romance than I ever dared hope :D I will try not to hurt anyone too much, but I make no promises BECAUSE YA DRAMA[face_devil]
  25. Raissa Baiard Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 22, 1999
    star 4
    To my wonderful SPARKLY beta-readers, @Findswoman and @Ewok Poet (green rock emoji goes here)

    @Briannakin, @mavjade

    Luke

    Mara didn’t say ANYTHING about my note this morning. :-( I thought for sure she would read and KNOW it was from me. How could she NOT know? I mean, we’re perfect for each other...we’re DESTINED to be together! I thought she would get the note and realize how much I love her, and she’d tell me that she loves me, too, and.. But she never said anything. She acted like NOTHING had happened at breakfast.

    I don’t know...maybe she just didn’t want to say anything in front of her friend, Ezra (I know I'd feel kind of weird talking about something like that in front of HAN AND CHEWIE or even WEDGE). I know he’s a good friend of hers, but honestly I think Ezra is kind of ANNOYING. He was there AGAIN at breakfast, and he and Mara were sitting back in the corner of the mess hall like they were last night. She never used to do that before HE came. Ezra doesn’t seem all that friendly. He hardly said anything at all besides “huh,” “uh-huh,” and “no”---oh, I take that back, one time he did say “yeah, that’s really fascinating” when I was telling Mara all of our flight sim stats. And he just kind of watched me and Mara the whole time, like he couldn’t understand what there was between us. I tried to to talk to him after Mara went to Intel-- Aunt Beru always said I needed to get out more and make some new friends--but I had the strangest feeling he just wanted me to GO AWAY. I think...I think maybe he LIKES Mara, and I feel a little bad for him, even if he is kind of a nerf-herder, because she and I are SOUL MATES <3

    Flight sims were okay today; I only got killed three times instead of six like last time. We we running deep space sims and the stars got me thinking of Mara again, because her eyes are like STARS! I thought maybe that was better than saying they sparkle like dewdrops (though they really do!) and I started trying to write a poem for her, but I’m not sure if “Mara, oh Mara, you shine like a star-a” is a good rhyme. I need someone who’s good with WORDS to help me. Maybe Threepio….I bet he knows some good rhymes in all those six million languages!

    A bunch of the pilots from our squadron--Hobbie, Janson, Wedge and the girls, Cinda Tarheel and Sera Tanis--were hanging around in the courtyard afterwards, talking and laughing about something. “Admit it,” Hobbie was saying to Janson. “It was you; it had to have been. This just smells like one of your pranks.”

    “What’s going on, guys?” I asked. “What’s Janson done now?”

    Cinda smirked. “Someone sent that new cheeka, Mara, the sappiest, gooeyest love note ever this morning. With a rock! A rock! Can you believe it? We’re trying to figure out who it was.”

    So she did get my note! And the rock! I knew it! I knew she just didn’t say anything because of Ezra! I knew...wait a minute… Why would they think Janson sent it? Was I too subtle? Does he like Mara too?

    “Sorry, not one of mine. Not this time.” Janson shook his head. “And I’m glad it wasn’t me. I saw the look she gave you, Hobbie. She looked like an angry Wookiee. I thought she was going to rip your arms and beat you with them.”

    She thought Hobbie sent it? Is EVERY GUY ON YAVIN after her?

    “Stang.” Hobbie looked disappointed. “I wanted to thank you personally for making Bridger’s head explode.”

    “Bridger? Ezra Bridger from Phoenix Squadron? What’s he got to do with it?” Sera asked with a frown.

    “Mara’s his girlfriend,” Wedge answered.

    “No.” My voice came out higher and squeakier than I meant it to. Everyone looked at me and I felt my face turning as red as...Mara’s hair. “No. I mean, they’re just friends.”

    Hobbie snorted. “That’s not the way he tells it. Of course, I always knew the little punk talked big.”

    “Yeah, you just don’t like him because you think he cut in on your action with Sabine Wren,” Janson laughed. “How’s that going, by way?”

    “Shut up.”

    “That’s what I thought.”

    No one noticed when I left.

    NO. NO…..IT CAN’T BE TRUE. IT’S NOT POSSIBLE. She can’t have a boyfriend. Especially not EZRA. She’s my SOUL MATE, my DESTINY! I have to find Mara. I have to TALK TO HER.
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