Saga - OT [DDC 2017]Teenage Rebellion--Updated 3/20/2017 (Mara/Ezra/Luke

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Raissa Baiard, Jan 3, 2017.

Moderators: Briannakin, mavjade
  1. Ewok Poet Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 31, 2014
    star 5
    ^ Wow, I kept on thinking of that band ever since I saw the names of Rebels' protagonists for the first time. This is telepathetic...I mean, telepathic. XD AND AWESOME. OMG.

    And I dunno any of their actual songs, actually.

    Anyway...

    Luke's incident was kind of Ace Ventura and kind of Steve Martin. While I felt sorry for him, I loved his OVERLY DRAMATIC EXPLANATION of what HAPPENED, too. :D Now he just needs to burn all of his clothes and curl up in the corner or something. :eek:

    And of course, his agony is the worst ever and only he has feelings. Nobody else. They're all against him, the bastardZ!!11!11

    Not to mention that blisters and a broken heart are apparently of the same intensity? W...whoa.

    No, seriously, I sympathise. I'm like this when at my worst, too.

    The Rogues are being absolute sociopathic kriffsliders here and I hope they end up drinking a tea made of these leaves or something. How would you like a throat full of blisters, poodoo-blasters?

    Nope, you sure aren't. :p

    [face_laugh][face_laugh]

    THIS IS SCARY, INDEED. I mean, Notebook is debatable and kind of pathetic IRL, I can't even begin to imagine the GFFA version. O_O AND IT'S A BOOK. EEEEK.

    And Han really has a strange approach to relationships. But it's not like we didn't know that, right? Here, he could be trolling Luke, but the worst thing about it is that I don't think that's what he's doing. He goes for what us Serbs call "the persistent one gets to kriff, not the handsome one" and wow, it's creepy stuff. In a way, that is.

    Poor Chewie, playing the straight man here, when Leia's not around. Poor, poor Chewie.

    Of course that meds and drinks are not a good idea. Now we can only be glad that the Ace Ventura things didn't happen. I mean, images of a naked Luke coming out of a cybernetic rhino's rectum can't be unseen, r-right? O_O

    Not only that this is a typical drunken teen rant, but he just hit the nerve....

    And wow, Wes Janson - you get an F in romantic relationships, you moron, you.

    Ouch. Ouch. OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUCH!

    And then Han has more to drink and gets about THE WORST IDEA EVER.

    At the edge of my seat for what happens next, but I have a feeling that it's not going to be pretty... Luke is so blissfully naive and he has this "knight" quality to him, which is a huge disadvantage when one has to face rejection. *gulp*
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  2. Findswoman Fanfic Awards Host

    Game Host
    Member Since:
    Feb 27, 2014
    star 4
    Yep, the teeny-tiny violin solo continues... for the BIG ITCHY BLISTERS, for all those hilariously mopey recent media choices (The Holo-Notebook :p ), for Hobbie and Wes's failed attempt at being lighthearted (and yes, bringing him a bouquet of touch-nots is just the sort of thing those barvey good-for-nothings would do—and that medic was 100% right in throwing their punk shebs [shebses?] out of there), but most of all... drum roll... for the PAIN of a BROKEN HEART and all the ENDLESS SUFFERING it entails. Nee-NEEE-neeneenee-NEEEE, indeed. (That, incidentally, is the ESB love theme. :p ) Absolute gold and absolutely hilarious. I think I'm dying here too. :D

    I have to adore how all of Luke's comparisons are Tatooine-related:
    ...as well as the "thoughts that had been running around in my brain like Jawas at a half-price droid sale." [face_rofl] I'm pretty sure that's one of the points at which I guffawed out loud during the beta. Just priceless—you've got that real comic touch. :cool:

    And then Han comes on the scene, with the very dangerous combo of Whyren's and advice... oh yes, a Very Bad Feeling I have about this, indeed, because I don't think either of those things are what Luke really needs right now. Well, advice in general, sure... but not this advice, which I'm pretty sure is just going to lead to both Luke overextending himself in some callowly awkward way, and Mara either not knowing how to react or reacting awkwardly herself. [face_nail_biting] I love, incidentally, how the "SHOT LEIA!" business totally changes Han's whole attitude toward the matter—it's almost as if Luke knew it might, and deliberately planned to mention it at Just the Right Moment! :eek: (Just a detail, but Chewbacca's background growl at this point invites some speculation... is he surprised himself? Is trying to calm Han down? Is this an "oh no, not this again type of aside? Much food for thought... [face_thinking])

    Thanks for another superb entry—this is so much fun, and you're really doing great things with these three and the various dynamics among them! :)
    Last edited by Findswoman, Mar 20, 2017 at 10:58 AM
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  3. Raissa Baiard Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 22, 1999
    star 4
    What else would you expect from the guy who gets emotional over POWER CONVERTERS? :p And Han...yes, probably not the best choice to get romantic advice from. Chewbacca would probably do better, if only he spoke Shryiiiwook.

    [face_blush]Thank you! The Bechdel test was intentional. Ezra might like the idea of his old crush and his girlfriend comparing notes, but they've got more than him in common. I guess it's human nature to think the Galaxy revolves around you, but still…

    No! TOTALLY NOT MOPING! And not overreacting AT ALL! Ryloth Place and Rodian Kisses were listed in the Wook as holodramas, but The Holo-Notebook is fanon, based on, yup, Nicholas Sparks' The Notebook. Something tells me Mara would not approve of Luke's choice of entertainment.

    :D Oh, good, someone got the reference! I have to say, I know this band mostly because they do a cover of "Conjunction Junction" from Schoolhouse Rock that pops up on the Youngling's Pandora feed a lot. However it's become kind of a running gag at our house, because Mr. B got me a stuffed Loth-cat for Christmas. The cat's name is Ezra (What? Don't look at me like that:p), but Mr. B insists that, no, he's Better Than Ezra.

    Once again, thank you very much [face_blush] [face_blush] [face_blush] I'm so glad that you are enjoying it!
    Telepathetic...that's me ;). And I only know one, see above.

    Are you sure he didn't? Have never seen Ace Ventura, but I like the Steve Martin comparison...rather like the lovable, naive and also OVERLY DRAMATIC Navin R. Johnson in The Jerk. ("And that's the only thing I need is *this*. I don't need this or this. Just this ashtray... And this paddle game. - The ashtray and the paddle game and that's all I need... And this remote control. - The ashtray, the paddle game, and the remote control, and that's all I need... And these matches. - The ashtray, and these matches, and the remote control, and the paddle ball...")

    No one else's HEART has ever been BROKEN in SO MANY PIECES. Han and Chewie could never understand what it's like to be in love. Bria Tharen and Mallatobuck would totally not count even if Luke knew about them.

    It's all horrible and no one has ever suffered as much ever in the history of suffering. I don't know that they're of equal intensity (though I've seen some people with pretty bad cases of poison ivy!), but everything piles up and the misery feeds off itself and becomes a self-sustaining supply of pure AAAAANNNNGGGSSTTT. And no one can angst like a Skywalker.

    OUCH!

    [face_laugh] Well, The Notebook did start off as a book... I find these kind of supposedly heartwarming romances a bit pathetic, too, but it seemed like exactly the kind of glurge that VeryHeartbrokenLuke would watch. Because the best way to forget about his broken heart is to drown himself in schlocky romance.

    Actually, I think Han has a lot of the knight/cowboy ethos about him as well, that the "best man" (or at least the fastest on the trigger) should get the girl. If Luke hadn't painted Ezra as an anti-social, lying, PRINCESS-SHOOTING JERK, Han probably would have continued to ply Luke with Whyren's and advised him that there are plenty of other giju in the sea

    Poor Chewie indeed' he never could teach his Corellian better manners. And now I'm really glad that I never saw Ace Ventura....:eek:

    Except that Luke isn't drunk; he's only had one good mouthful of whiskey, just enough to feel a little warm. He has, however, had three days of self-inflicted solitude to wallow in his misery and meditate on Ezra's character failings...and WHY NOT HIM, HE'S A NICE GUY!?!1! And, in Janson's defense (not something I thought I'd write :p), he never said that Ezra "stole Sabine from Hobbie", just that Hobbie didn't like Ezra because he "cut in on Hobbie's action" with her (which action is nonexistent, of course). But, again, Luke's been stewing in his own juices, so Janson's comment gets blown out of proportion.

    Of course, Han's not drunk, either. Not sure if that makes his wonderful, terrible idea better or not. ;) It may not be the worst idea ever, but it will be interesting, to say the least.
    Thank you. At least you will die laughing and not wallowing in a melodramatic swamp of your own making. ;) And you won't have to SUFFER ENDLESSLY (angst! Angst! Oh, TEH ANGST!1!)

    [face_blush]Thanks. I will credit my freshman composition professor, who made us write original similes and metaphors, even in our research based papers. Luke really only has one frame of reference, so it all comes back to Tatooine. It's one reason he has such a hard time coming up with good metaphors for Mara's green eyes--there's nothing green in his world!

    Han really doesn't have much useful to contribute to this situation, does he? Why couldn't Leia have sent someon level-headed,like Wedge? (Ok, because it wouldn't have been funny) Han really thinks he's doing right by his friend, though. Hey, Whyren's works for him when he feels bad! I don't think it was calculated on Luke's part to save "SHOT LEIA" until last; he's just working though the list of Ezra's offenses in order of magnitude. Chewie is surprised, too; he's even more driven by honor and fairness than Luke, so the idea that someone would shoot the Princess would set him off.

    No, no...thank you:D
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  4. Raissa Baiard Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 22, 1999
    star 4
    As always, to my amazingly sparkly beta-readers, @Ewok Poet and @Findswoman[:D]

    @mavjade, @Briannakin

    Mara

    Oh good skies! OH. GOOD. SKIES. It’s true about Luke Skywalker. It’s all true...

    I took Leia’s advice about talking to Luke, but when I got to the infirmary, he’d already been discharged. The Force was apparently serious about me needing to see him sooner than later, because as I ran into him on the path between the infirmary and the barracks--or, rather, he almost ran into me. Luke was jogging along with a distracted expression, his lips moving slightly as if he was rehearsing something. I called out to him, but he was so preoccupied with his own thoughts that he didn’t hear me. He looked up at the last possible second and skidded to a stop centimeters in front of me. “Mara!” he cried, his face breaking out into the biggest, mooka pup-est smile ever. “I was just looking for you!”

    “I was looking for you, too,” I said, smiling back, because how could you not smile at that big goofy grin? “I’m glad to see you’re feeling better. I’m sorry I didn’t come visit you in the infirmary, but I just found out you were there from Leia yesterday.”

    “Really?” I would not have thought that it was possible for his smile to get any bigger, but it did. “You missed me?”

    “Well...yes.” Maybe I hadn’t missed having him around constantly, but it had been strange not seeing Luke at all. He is a friend, after all.

    If he really had been a mooka, his tail would have been wagging and he would have been kshhh-ing madly. “I missed you, too! And I...I, uh, wanted to show you something.”

    Something prickled around the edges of the Force when he said that, not a bad feeling, exactly, but almost…portentous. I was torn between being intrigued and apprehensive, and settled on both. “Okay…”

    “Not here,” he said, glancing around as a pair of irate mechanics maneuvered a repulsor sled of equipment around us. “Come on!” He grabbed my hand as if I was a youngling--or he was-- and took off down the path, tugging me after him onto a side path.

    I shook my hand loose--I am not a youngling that I need to hold hands, and not his girlfriend that I want to--and I realized we were in the same clearing where Ezra and I had our picnic. Though I couldn't have said why, apprehension suddenly won out. I took half a step back, out of the glade. “So what is it you wanted to show me?”

    “This!” Luke unclipped something from his belt with another silly mooka grin, a silver and black cylinder about half a meter long. He swept it in a wide arc...and with a very familiar snap-hiss, the brilliant blue blade sprang to life.

    My jaw hit the forest floor. He had a lightsaber. His form was worse than Annina’s when she was five, and he knew just enough technique to keep from cutting off his own nose with it...but he had a lightsaber. The prickling in the Force grew stronger, like the electricity in the air before a storm. “Where did you get that?”

    “Isn’t it incredible?’ He swooshed in a few more careless curves, apparently mistaking my dumbstruck bewilderment for amazement. I had to stop myself from telling him to put it down before he hurt himself. “It belonged to my father; he was a Jedi in the Clone Wars. Ben--I mean, Obi-Wan--gave this to me before I left Tatooine. I’m going to be a Jedi, too.” He did not add “when I grow up,” but his shining eyes were so naive, his voice so childishly enthusiastic that he might as well have.

    I leaned against the nearest tree, hoping it didn’t have any poisonous vines on it, and slid down to the ground. “Your father? Obi-Wan?” Apparently, I wasn’t the only one who’d omitted a few crucial details from my story.

    Luke switched his lightsaber off--finally!--and sat next to me. “Are you okay, Mara?” he asked, his wide blue eyes searching mine. At my faint nod, he continued. “Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan Kenobi...well, I always knew him as Old Ben, this crazy old hermit who lived out by the Dune Sea, but he was really a Jedi. He taught my father before...before Darth Vader killed him.” Luke’s voice hardened and his hand clenched around his saber’s hilt. “Ben...Obi-Wan...started to teach me, but Vader murdered him, too.”

    I was silent, considering. Kenobi. Where did I know that name from? But even if the name wasn’t immediately familiar, the story of a Jedi hiding in the middle of nowhere was, as was the tale of Jedi hunted and killed by the Empire. I’d grown up living in the first story and living with the second, so I could understand the hurt and anger that swirled through Luke’s Force-sense, but there was an ugly little current of hate running just beneath. I knew that part of the reason he wanted to become a Jedi was to get vengeance for their deaths. As if it would be that simple. As if that was what Jedi did. Something else stirred in the back of my mind, something important… “Your father...did you know him?”

    “No.” Luke shook his head sadly, his mop of blonde hair falling into his face. He pushed it back. “He died before I was born, but Obi-Wan told me he was a great pilot, a warrior. His name was Anakin Skywalker.”

    Oh, karabast… Dad’s premonition was right. You really don’t do coincidences, do you? I accused the Force. Anakin Skywalker, Luke’s father, might have been all that this Obi-Wan said and more, but he was also the Jedi’s betrayer. From the tone of wistful admiration in his voice, Luke didn’t know that; I was not going to be the one to tell him. That’s asking a little too much of me, Force! But one thing I didn’t understand: Dad spoke of Anakin Skywalker as if he had become Darth Vader after turning to the Dark Side, while Luke believed that Vader had killed his father. Who was right? Had the betrayer been betrayed in turn?

    “Mara?” Luke’s voice snapped me back from my thoughts. He was watching me worriedly, afraid that I was going to laugh, or run or tell him he was crazy. I knew the feeling; when the whole Galaxy either hates and fears you or thinks you're a myth, trust is not an easy thing. I took a deep breath and smoothed the frown off my face. Another ripple in the Force told me it was my turn to confess. “Don’t worry. I believe you, and…I have something to show you, too.” I reached into my belt satchel and pulled my own lightsaber from the pocket inside.

    Now Luke’s mouth dropped open and he gaped like a giju. “You’re a Jedi, too!”

    Too? I shrugged, refraining from telling him that it takes a lot more than just having a lightsaber to make you a Jedi. “No, just a Padawan. An apprentice,” I added at his confusion. “But the Force sent me here to help you.”

    “Really?” His eyes lit up like Life Day fireworks. “You’ll teach me to be Jedi?”

    “I’ll try.” Do or do not; there is no try; the voice of our holocron’s gatekeeper, a stuffy protocol droid of a Jedi named Paolo L’szelo, popped into my thoughts to remind me of the old adage he’d repeated to me so many times. Oh, be quiet, I told it. What do you want from me? I’m only a padawan, myself. What do I know about teaching someone the ways of the Force? Before I made any promises, I needed to see what I was getting myself into. “Can you show me what you can do?” I wished I kept a deck of sabacc cards in my satchel, like Dad, so I could have Luke read them. That was one of the first exercises any of us did, even before we knew what the suits meant. “Just something simple, like..I don’t know, moving a leaf?”

    “Huh?” Luke frowned at me, so I demonstrated, reaching out in the Force and lifting one of the Massassi leaves from the clutter on the forest floor. I floated it gently over to him. He picked up the leaf and turned it over and over as if he suspected some sort of tricks, like he was going to find wires attached or something. Finding nothing, he tossed it down and scowled at me. “I can’t do that! That’s impossible!”

    I frowned back at him. Clearly, it wasn’t impossible; I’d just done it, hadn’t I? And he hadn’t even tried before proclaiming he couldn’t. Was that the kind of student--the kind of Jedi--he was going to be? Again, I wondered what the Force expected of me. “Fine. So, what can you do?”

    “I can, um, deflect shots from a training remote with my lightsaber when I’m wearing a blast helmet,” he suggested brightly. “Most of the time.”

    “Hmm.” That did not fill me with confidence. I was not going to pull out a blaster and stun my student even before the first lesson. I spotted a small rock, about the size of a large yub nut, hidden in the leaf litter and picked it up. “Okay,” I said, standing. “Ignite your saber and close your eyes. I’m going to throw this at you; you deflect it.”

    “Wait, you’re going to throw a rock at me?!?”

    “It’s no different from deflecting a training shot,” I insisted. “It’ll probably hurt less if it hits you.”

    He didn’t look convinced, but he stood up with a huge, gusty sigh, worthy of Annina when Mom tells her she has to clean her sparkles off the kitchen table. “Okay,” he whined. “I’ll try…” He switched on his saber, gripping it like it was a smashball bat and screwed his eyes shut.

    Do or do not…I thought I told you to be quiet. “Ready?” I lobbed the rock at him. His lightsaber swept through the air...and the rock hit him solidly in the arm.

    “Ow! Mara!” Luke nearly dropped his saber--which would have left him short a foot. He shot me a reproachful look. “This isn’t fair! I knew I couldn’t do it!”

    “And you won’t with that attitude!” I shot back. I reached down and picked up the rock. “One more time, and this time: try. Open yourself to the Force. Don’t rely on your senses.”

    “But…”

    “Try!” Luke huffed out another sigh and closed his eyes, but this time… This time, I felt a tiny shift in the Force, just a bit, just a nudge, but enough. When I tossed the rock, the blue blade of his lightsaber intercepted it and sliced it cleanly in half. In that moment, I could sense him in the Force, and what I felt wasn’t strength, it was potential--vast, raw potential swirling like a blue and white nebula in the Force--and in that moment I could see the kind of Jedi he could become. It was staggering.

    “I did it!” Luke cried, all bouncy mooka enthusiasm again. “So you’ll teach me, right? I can be your…what did you call it?…padawan?”

    “I….” I hesitated. I’m not a Master. I’m not a Jedi. I shouldn’t be taking a padawan, especially not one with this much potential, and this much potential for disaster. How am I supposed to teach him? How am I supposed to teach someone who goes from passionate to peevish in under .5 milliseconds? “I’ll see what I can do.” It was the best I could offer him.

    Dear Force, I know you sent me here to help Luke, but I’m going to need some help on this. I don’t think I can do this alone. Ezra’s not going to like this, but I think I need to talk to Kanan.

    Luke
    OH GOOD SKIES! I DON’T BELIEVE IT1!11 MARA’S A JEDI TOO !1!1

    I knew she was AMAZING...but this! This PROVES it! She’s a JEDI and I’m a JEDI...we are MEANT FOR EACH OTHER! There’s like, what, just the TWO OF US left in the WHOLE GALAXY?

    AND THE FORCE SENT HER HERE TO HELP ME! The FORCE!!1 There’s NO WAY Ezra can beat THAT!

    This just shows she really is MY DESTINY! <3<3<3<3
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  5. Briannakin Grand Moff Darth Fanfic & Costuming/Props Manager

    Manager
    Member Since:
    Feb 25, 2010
    star 5
    So Mara knows the truth. This is going to get interesting.

    Also Mara training Luke is a great flip of their canon relationship. Though I'm not sure how Ezra is going to feel about it!
  6. Ewok Poet Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 31, 2014
    star 5
    I laughed out loud the first time I read this, I am laughing out loud now - Mara's version of the story is detailed, Luke...well...all that matters to him is his "logic" aka feelings. Such a Fi dom in a crazy phase there. :p Never mind that a rock hit him in the head (unless that changed him to even crazier), never mind anything when THEY'RE MEANT 2B AND THEY BOTH HAVE DA FOREC1!!!!!!! ZOMG. BEAT TAHT!11111

    But Mara's entry tells us the whole story - Luke acted like a complete immature little clown with the assumption that Mara will be impressed, wielded his lightsaber like Jar Jar Binks would (or close), can blow up a Death Star, but cannot levitate a kriffin' leaf. :D The bloody thing must have been GREEN LIKE MARA'S EYES. And..and...HER LIGHTSABER IS GREEN, TOO!!11111! He's so smitten that he cannot even go darkside, because there are no smarts to this kind of mooka pup behaviour. At this point, he can only pee himself out of pure happiness while lying on his back - and yeah, I have seen dogs do that. :p

    Love seeing the Paolochron again, even if it's just in Mara's flashback (write a story about her training with her dad someday, please, please!) and loved these "different versions of truth" and the...the moment Mara accused the Force?! That's a lot like romancing Cthulhu, but not quite. :p

    And this was perfect, in terms of those different truths:

    Gapping like a giju and eyes like Life Day fireworks - great, great bits of worldbuilding there. But it's you!

    And then, out of all things, she throws A ROCK at him. Twice. Not sure if that could've been Ezra's idea, but it's nice, err, cute, err, PAINFUL vengeance. Good that Luke caught it the second time around, a proof that he's the guy we know for a certain amount of agility, not a complete idiot. Glad he didn't go and get those power converters after all.

    I can imagine Ezra's voice coming from Mara's mouth, yup.

    Despite all of this, they started their entries with almost identical sentences. Now I am like OMGz!!!111!111!!!!

    Also, this is so tr00:

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