Saga - OT [DDC 2017]Teenage Rebellion--Updated 11/27/2017 (Mara/Ezra/Luke)

I am glad that Mara and Hera have this talk. You even pass the famous Bechdel test with the latest update. And I am glad that Mara goes for a change in hair style. This is a definite sign for a change.

Love the serious undertones in your playful story!

 

Thanks! It's been fun playing with their perspectives on the same events, because they all see things so differently. And even Mara and Ezra aren't quite on the same page, and they might be having a wee bit of a communication problem, as Hera points out. But Hera and Sabine are still for Mara to lean on while she's trying to balance the competing interests of these two guys, and maybe the Force itself.

She's holding up pretty well, so far. The practicality and levelheadedness she's learned from her mom (and no doubt honed dealing with Sparkly Star Annina and snippy mean girl friends) is paying off, but even she has her limits, and I think she's close to reaching them. Hera and Sabine are certainly willing and able to be there for Mara and be her surrogate space!family while she's away from home.

It isn't just Mara and Ezra who have a failure to communicate! No one is talking about the things they should be or communicating in a way that's helpful. What could be a good friendship, or at least a better instructor/student relationship is stymied because of it. Sabine will always be the artist, and see things in terms of art (though maybe bad art!) Hera...well, she's pretty perceptive is all I can say

And it's my pleasure to be able to include his/your work!

Thank you! The guys may be a big part of Mara's life right now, but there are still lots of things to do and discuss with Hera and Sabine that don't involve them. Sometimes a girl has to do something fun just for herself! And it's funny how often that something involves hair

Luke and Ezra are doing their best impression of Dr. Seuss's North and South Going Zax, who never move an inch to the east or west. Hopefully, they'll realize their mistakes before, like the Zax, the world simply leaves them standing there, unbudged in their tracks. Lucky indeed that Space!Mom and Space!Sis have taken Mara under their wings for caf, sympathy and...y'know, shooting stuff!

Sabine and Mara do share an independent spirit, as well as a love of good weaponry and fine caf (and of course a fondness--in different ways--for a certain Loth-cat). Their friendship has grown past its awkward beginnings. Sabine will tell you that EVERYTHING is art, even bizarre poetry. Hera is and will always be a space!mom, and moms all seem to possess certain looks....prophetic? Alas that teens never seem inclined to take their moms' advice.

Coloring her hair is probably Sabine's go-to remedy for a serious funk. Nothing gives you a new outlook on life like a kick-shebs new 'do! She's right that sometimes you just have to do something new and different, and who cares what anyone else thinks? It was my pleasure to reference your sweet story, "Spectre's Aubade" Of course Jade green is the perfect color for Mara. But perhaps it's only one Loth-cat howling and the other is a mooka whining?

Fallout begins in three...two...one...

 

To my awesome betas, Findswoman and Ewok Poet

Ezra
When Mara started hanging out with Sabine and they started getting together for weekly target practice and caf, I was worried that the two of them were going to talk about me and...well, discuss some of the more embarrassing things I’ve done to try to impress them. When I said as much to Sabine, though, she just rolled her eyes and told me to get over myself. (Turns out Zeb is the one who enjoys regaling Mara with stories of Ezra’s Most Spectacular Screw-Ups. Thanks, buddy…) But I never thought I'd have to worry about my girlfriend winding up with technicolor hair....

That particular Benduday, it was almost time for Skywalker’s lessons, and I couldn’t find Mara--or Sabine, or even Hera--anywhere, which was odd because they’re usually hanging out in the galley or the common room drinking caf after practice. Zeb snorted when I asked him if he’d seen them. “They were headed into Sabine’s cabin. Giggling. I’d be worried if I were you, kid.”

Giggling? Mara and Sabine? Yeah, that didn’t sound like them at all. I had a bad feeling as I stood outside Sabine’s door, listening to the hum of female voices coming from inside.

“I don’t know…” Mara’s voice was low, uncertain. “Are you sure this looks okay? It’s...brighter than I expected.”

“You look fabulous! The color is really you! The thing is, you have to own it; don’t worry about what they're going to think, if you like it.”

That bad feeling was growing. I love Sabine-- like a sister!--but I wasn’t sure I wanted her giving Mara style advice, at least not the kind she had to be told to “own.” I tapped on the door. “Hey, Ace, it’s almost time for lessons. You coming?”

“Yes, I’ll be there in a minute! You go ahead and get started.”

Skywalker was already there when I came out “...stronger in the Force? Like if I eat more vegetables, maybe?” I heard him asking Kanan, who replied “That’s another really interesting question, Luke. I’m not sure I know…”

I think he was glad when I interrupted them. “Mara said to get started without her, so--ready position, saber up.”

Skywalker huffed a gusty sigh, but dropped into the ready stance--which he’s finally gotten right--and started in on the kata with his usual very serious “I will show you, Bridger” expression. (You’ve got a ways to go before you’re going to show me anything, Skywalker). He got halfway through the first sequence when he froze, staring at something just past my left shoulder, mouth hanging open.

“Focus, Skywalker!” I reminded the inattentive little mooka. Knowing him, he’d probably spotted a woolamander. Or a tree frog. Or a really sparkly butterfly. I turned to see what he was gaping at, and my mouth fell open, too.

It was Mara.

Her hair was out of its usual, practical braid, hanging in long, loose waves, and on either side of her face were several bright streaks, shading from jade green at the roots to a dark emerald at the ends. She was definitely owning the new style, as she strolled down the ramp with a dancer’s sway and a look that challenged us to say something about her hair.

But none of us were actually capable of speech; we all just stared. Okay, Skywalker and I stared--kind of hard to tell with Kanan, but I’m pretty sure his mouth was ajar.

She came up to me as I stood there, dumbstruck and gaping like a total moof-milker, put an arm around my shoulders and kissed my cheek. “What do you think?”

Okay, I know what you’re going to say--I always liked Sabine’s colorful hair, so why should Mara having a couple streaks bother me? I don’t know. Maybe because I’ve never known Sabine without it. Heck, I don’t even know what Sabine’s real hair color is (guessing it’s dark like her mom’s, but for all I know she could be aurodium blonde under the dye). Mara, though, I’m used to her red hair; I like her red hair. And I’m used to her being Mara, so it’s kind of weird to have her go sort of Sabine on me. But living with Sabine for the last five years has taught me that no matter what you think of a girl’s hair, there is only one acceptable answer to that question.

“You look great, Ace!”

Not one to stand by and let me, you know, compliment my own girlfriend, Skywalker decided to do me one better. “ You look beautiful!” he exclaimed, wearing his mooka-est expression. “Like...like a tree!”

“A...tree?” Mara’s confident “owning it” expression slipped a bit sideways.

“Well, yeah….” He seemed genuinely confused that she wasn’t going into raptures over his earnest admiration. “We don’t have trees on Tatooine. I think they’re kind of beautiful...so green and...and vibrant. Like your eyes! And your hair.”

“Oh... thanks.” She smiled again, but still looked less than certain. “That’s...um, very sweet.”

“All right, all right, Skywalker, back to work! Ready position, and parry one… Focus!” I snapped. He startled guiltily, but still stared at Mara as she shuffled her sabacc cards and chatted quietly with Kanan. I wanted to whack him with my lightsaber hilt---bad mooka! Down!

She looks like a beautiful tree? Wow, Skywalker, no wonder you don’t have a girlfriend. But just because you’re the Chosen One doesn’t mean you can have mine.

I’ll get used to Mara’s hair. Skywalker….yeah, never gonna get used to him.

 

Mara.

Just Mara.

Down Skywalker. Down. Ezra, go get her, kid. She's worth it.

 

LOL on the hair. I'm trying to visualize Mara with jade-green to emerald shading. Priceless. But Ezra's right. There is only one acceptable answer.

 

Not one to stand by and let me, you know, compliment my own girlfriend, Skywalker decided to do me one better. “ You look beautiful!” he exclaimed, wearing his mooka-est expression. “Like...like a tree!”

I think of Treebeard now from Tolkien´s novels:



But most of all this crazy tree comes to mind:



Luke, as a Tatooine home boy, just thinks of trees as wonderful creatures. Green and vivid. Such as Mara.

Unfortunately, the others do not have his unique point of view.

 

LOLZ at the very beginning. Of course that it's Ezra's biggest fear that these two might share the alpha and omega of his courting practices. But yeah, Zeb would be a logical choice to do it. Bad Lasat!

And this is just hilarious. No, Luke, you need to flex your muscles and look like Fabio.

The moment when Mara appears with her hair, both boys lose it. I loved it. Ezra's tone looks like he's denyhing his own excitement and Luke...well, Luke is Luke. A tree. But of course.

 

Don't worry, Ezra has no intention of letting that mooka-faced Skywalker steal his girl!

I'm sure it's very striking against her flame-red hair (I'm actually working on a little sketch of Mara with her new 'do. I'll post it once it's finished ) And the Mistress of Technicolor Hair has taught Ezra well; saying anything else is a great way to get your shebs kicked!

You know, Luke's explanation really is kind of sweet; trees are beautiful--and powerful and decorative--but, like with his gift of the sparkly rock, his delivery needs just a little work. With a little more thought and practice, he could actually be quite poetic...and not Threepio's kind of poetic, either!

And you just know he's done plenty of things they could share with one another, too! The girls may have decided they have better things to talk about but Zeb...mortifying Ezra is what he does for fun!

It worked on the movie poster! Yes...it's The Force Diet! Eat your broccoli, padawans, and grow strong in the Force!

Ezra might like her new look a little more than he lets on, but OH NOES, his girl changed her look without consulting him! And DOUBLE OH NOES, Skywalker really likes her new look! At least Luke went with "tree" (which can be pretty at least) and not "Rodian"....or worse "Hutt"
'

 

To my beta-readers, Findswoman and Ewok Poet

And once again, Ewok Poet is Threepio's incomparable ghostwriter

_----------------------------------
Mara

Dad always likes to say that the Force has a perverse sense of humor. I’m sure that that isn’t an official Jedi teaching, but more and more I think it’s as true as anything that is.

Because the Force could give me directions that sent me across the sector to some festering jungle planet to be responsible for the mooka who might save the Galaxy, it could send me cryptic messages about him in sabacc cards, but it could not be bothered to give me even the tiniest prickle of foreboding to let me know I was about to make a stupid, careless mistake that would screw up pretty much everything…. So thank you very much, Force.

It was Benduday, a week after Sabine added the green streaks to my hair. Some of the girls in the barracks gave me funny looks when I came back with them--and Prisk even asked me if they were supposed to be jungle camouflage (if I ever start missing Rominaria too much, I’ll just hang out with Prisk for a while). But more of the girls asked me where I’d gotten them. A couple even wanted to know if I’d ask Sabine if she’d color their hair, though they were suddenly much less interested when I said they’d have to ask her themselves.

I was really starting to feel like I owned my new look, in Sabine’s words. I loved the color and the bold patterns it made when I braided my hair back. Yes, it was a different look for me, and yes, my mom would probably have had a litter of pittins if she could have seen me, but maybe all of that was kind of the point. It was something I’d done for me.

Ezra didn’t seem to know what to make of them. Every now and then, I’d catch him looking at me with a puzzled look on his face, but he continued to assure me I looked “great, Ace...really, really great!” That’s very convincing, dear...

Luke, on the other hand, seemed to be fascinated with my new hairstyle, perhaps because it made me look like a tree? (Okay, his explanation was kind of sweet, but really? At least now I get all the tree metaphors in his poems.) I’d catch him looking at me, too, but in his case it was more like staring. He earned a string of increasingly irate “Focus, Skywalker!”s from Ezra, and some gentler rebukes to pay attention from Kanan, but Luke was undeterred. In fact, he even seemed inspired by them, because that morning I received another vivid, arboreal new poem:

Mara, embrace me
Like a warm, fuzzy tree,
I will carve my name
Onto your branches.

Mara, chase me,
Like the goddess that you are,
I will drown in green
And fall off a star.

Mara, I dream of you,
In sequences of beauty.
You burn circuits,
As if it were your duty.

“Osi’kyr!” Sabine muttered, shaking her head, when I showed it to her after practice. “I hate to discourage anyone’s creativity, but someone really needs to tell Luke to find a different outlet for his. Maybe he should try painting instead.” She took a long sip of her caf. “I don’t think ignoring him is doing any good, Mara. You’re going to have to say something to him again.”

“I know.” I’d come to the same conclusion. Far from convincing him to give up, my silence just seemed to encourage him to keep sending more poem, and they seemed to get more bizarrely sappy all the time. “Today after lessons I’m going to have a word with Luke, may the Force be with me!” I wished I’d brought earplugs against the inevitable whining, but this really had to stop.

Before Sabine could respond, the galley door slid open and Zeb clomped in, scowling at me--of course, scowling is pretty much Zeb’s natural expression. “There you are, Mara. Your mooka-faced, half-pint Jedi-wannabe is out there looking for you.” Zeb snorted; he’s never thought much of Luke coming to the Ghost for training. Since he’s Ezra’s cabin mate, I'm sure he's gotten several earfuls about Luke and what a karking pain in the shebs he is. It can’t be anything Luke’s actually done; he tiptoes around Zeb like he’s trying not wake a sleeping rancor. “Karabast, I swear that kid gets earlier all the time! He’s pestering Kanan right now, but he kept asking about you. Told him I’d come find you just to get away.”

I stifled a sigh. Zeb was right; Luke was showing up a few minutes earlier to each lesson. Which would have been great if I thought it was his studies that made him so eager. “Thanks, Zeb. I guess I’d better get going.”

Sabine put a hand on my arm as I rose. “Let him wait! He’s not supposed to be here for another ten minutes. Finish your caf, at least.”

“Caf, huh?” Zeb perked up instantly, his green eyes lighting up like the power indicator on his Evoluo. Zeb really, really loves his caf--we’re talking serious caffeine addict here. I wouldn’t be surprised if he kisses the caf maker goodnight after giving it a fresh coat of Yinchorri Wax. “Sounds good to me. What kind’ve you got?

“Uh….” Sabine hesitated, because we were having our favorite macchiatos...and we’d...borrowed...the caf pods from the not-so-secret cache that Zeb kept hidden behind an ancient box of freeze-dried veg protein cubes.

He picked up the carafe and inhaled deeply, nostrils flaring. “Smells like Kamino salted caramel macchiato… Wait a minute! That’s my caramel macchiato!” Zeb’s expression crumpled from default scowl to the look of a seriously perturbed Lasat who was about to smash something. “You’re the ones who’ve been stealing my caf pods!”

Most of the time, Zeb looks a lot scarier than he really is. But after messing with his precious caf, I wasn’t going to stick around to see if that was always true. “Oh, look at the time!” I slid out of the dining alcove and slipped past Zeb before he could do more than snarl at me. “Don’t want to keep my mooka-faced Jedi-wannabe waiting!”

Sabine followed, just as fast. “And you know, I just remembered, I promised Hera I’d help her fix the Phantom’s intake manifold after practice. Bye, Mara!” she called as we dashed in separate directions down the main corridor ahead of Zeb. “See you next week. May the Force be with you!”

But the Force wasn’t with me, not even a little, because in the mad scramble to get away from Zeb, I left Luke’s latest tender, heartfelt, what-the-kriff, please-don’t-send-me-anymore masterpiece of a love poem lying on the galley table….

 

Love caramel macchiato & Sabine's advice about the poetry.

 

Oh no. the Lasat will have his revenge! The POEM! NOO!!!

Does the poem goes with the Oh Christmas tree song? That's all I can hear. Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Chrismas Tree....

Lovely entry.

 

July 11. What do girls talk about when target practicing? Annoying boys, of course. And Mara’s got two of them to make her crazy. It’s great that she has Sabine as a sister of sorts to confide in. She’s far more relatable for Mara than the other two girls, Velanie and Mella.

I can see Hera as another mom here, almost as a trusted auntie to Mara. Hera is such a caring person that she naturally looks after the younger ones around her. (My daughter refers to it as when she brings home her boyfriend and I “mom him up.”) Hera “moms up” all the little lost birds around her.

I like Sabine’s artistic assessment of the poetry, and I lol’ed at the way Luke is “developing the tree motif.”

Hera makes a great point, though. At some point Ezra is going to find out. He can find out from Mara, and they can deal with the issue maturely and as a team, or he can find out by accident or worse from Luke himself. Then Ezra will wonder why she felt it necessary to keep this situation and Luke’s unstoppable attentions toward Mara a secret. He’s going to be hurt.

July 19.

Lol! What could possibly go wrong?

Mara’s hair must be something amazing. I like the little reference you put in there about how she “strolled down the ramp with a dancer’s sway.” Nice touch there. And I like how Ezra knew the correct answer is always, “You look great!” I bet Mara did look pretty amazing with the green streaks in her red-gold hair. It probably really plays up her green eye color.


July 24. Good to know that the hair color is a hit. OF course, Mom will have a litter of pittens when she finds out, but hey, it’s just hair. Hair grows out. Let her live a little and experiment when she’s young.

And the poeTREE continues… But now she’s done it! She didn’t take Hera’s advice and let Ezra in on Luke’s persistent love lettering, and now Zeb’s got the poem! He will probably think it’s from Ezra and give the poor guy no end of grief over it. And if Luke finds out, and thinks that Mara is making fun of him, oh, boy. This is not going to be good. And I would be mad if someone stole my caramel macchiato coffee, too. So not only has she ticked Zeb off, she’s inadvertently given him the ammo for his revenge!

Great updates. Loving this story to bits!

 

Oh my, oh my, poodoo has hit the fan! With Zeb finding this masterpiece of Luke's, there are so many possibilities and they're all bad. And with him being additionally irritated that Sabine and Mara have been stealing his precioussss coffee pods, he's going to, whatever he does next could be trouble.

Prisk sounds pretty annoying. But I have this feeling that the other girls are kind of scared of Sabine, am I right? Is it because she's a Mando or are there any other reasons? Or do they simply think that she wouldn't do them a favour?

Last, but not the least. Love the nod to your other story:

And, as always, it was a pleasure to act as the ghostwriter's ghostwriter.

 

Never go in against a Lasat when caf is on the line! Perhaps Sabine needs to offer Luke some art lessons so he can channel his creativity--then again, perhaps Mara would wind up with a lot of badly drawn portraits

Hmmm... "Oh Christmas Tree" seems like an appropriate choice of music, so why not?

Annoying boys seem so much less annoying when you can vent while shooting stuff! Sabine and Hera are both a lot better suited to Mara than her "friends" back home--who are more of the "best of the available options" kind of friends. Mara has interests and ideals in common with the women of the Ghost, and they do step into those familial roles for her now that she's away from home. I love your daughter's phrase about "momming up"--yep, that's totally what Hera does here, taking her space!kid's girlfriend under her wing

And part of that momming up is giving good advice! Mara might have done better to listen to her.

What indeed?

Even in this universe, Mara takes dance lessons (At Raissa's insistence, but, hey, at least they help with lightsaber footwork!) I can imagine that Ezra learned the right answer the hard way' Sabine seems unlikely to take remarks about her hair lightly!

Exactly! Really, of all the youthful modes of self expression, hair coloring is the one I wouldn't mind my own Youngling engaging in, because it does grow, or can be dyed over if it's truly horrible!

Poe-TREE--luvit! Yes, Mara should have taken Hera's advice, and the worst possible person has possession of the poem. All sorts of Bad Things could come from this.

Sabine knows all about owning her style! Mandalorians aren't generally known for their artistic flair, so I'm sure she's had plenty of chance to perfect that attitude over the years. And Mara has enough of that attitude to make those green streaks work, too. Kanan seems to be quite perceptive even if he is blind, and I'm sure he senses something different and dramatic about her.

Yavin had to be quite a new experience for him, even as Takodana was for Rey. All those big, green, leafy fascinating trees! Wow! It is sweet in its way...just as you say, Lukishly awkward. (And I bet Ewok Poet enjoys a good goat metaphor. Baaah!)

It always amazes me how possessive some guys can be about their significant others' hair. Not sure if Ezra is quite on that level, but even though Sabine has drilled into him that "you look great" is the only right answer, he still doesn't get that a girl will do whatever she wants with her hair. Maybe it's the sister vs. sweetheart thing? He knows he has no say in Sabine's color, but Mara's his girlfriend. Surely that gives him some say?

Okay, when you put it like that...

And now you've got me wondering what kind of creative endeavor would suit Luke: painting, as Sabine suggests? Origami? Knitting? Building houses out of sabacc cards? Will Mara be happier or insulted by the idea that Luke farmed the poetry writing out to a droid? And will Threepio hire himself out once his services are no longer required by Master Luke? These are things we need to know...

Yes, certainly, they should order him a gift card over the HoloNet, ASAP! That will be the easier part of this mess to fix, because the fallout...well, you'll see shortly!

Yup, bad things are on the horizon, even if Zeb doesn't start channeling creepy Gollum, precious...

Prisk is a right pain in the shebs. I think the other girls are intimidated by Sabine for a number of reasons. She's a Mando, first of all, and they don't exactly have a reputation of being the most kind and gentle of souls. Sabine, of course, has a good heart but she still has plenty of Mando pride and self-confidence. Plus she's attractive and she blows things up for fun. All of which could be off-putting to someone who doesn't really know her.

Caf is serious business!

And thank you so much for all the epic poetry, I've appreciated your fabulous contributions (even if Mara hasn't!).

 

Thanks to Findswoman and Ewok Poet, for beta-reading, suggestions and support!

----------------------------

Ezra

I’m beginning to hate Bendudays.

Mara and Sabine’s last Benduday target practice ended with Mara getting some...um, vibrant...new streaks in her hair. Okay, I guess they’re not that bad...I have to say Sabine did do a good job with the color….which does sort of bring out Mara’s eyes. And the green streaks do kind of make interesting new designs in her usual braid. Thing is, I’m not the only one who’s noticed that.

Of course, Skywalker noticed too. And kept noticing. And noticing. Do I need to keep going here? Every lesson, every time he saw her, his eyes would bug out like a Rodian’s. Yeah, I saw you over there staring when you were supposed to be reading sabacc cards with her--close your mouth already. His attention span during saber practice rivaled that of a woolamander who’d just spotted something shiny, and it was a wonder he didn’t injure himself. (It’s a wonder I didn’t injure him) After a week of the mooka panting after Mara, I’d decided I needed to have a serious chat with him after lessons.

So I probably wasn’t in the best frame of mind that Benduday when I went into the galley to see if Mara and Sabine were still having their post-target practice caf and girl talk. But the only one there was Zeb, who was sitting in the dining alcove snorting and chuckling over a piece of flimsi lying on the table.

“Hey, Zeb, you seen Mara?”

He looked up with one of those giant, toothy Lasat grins--the kind that means he’s found what he thinks is a great new way to give me hard time. “You mean your warm, fuzzy tree? Might wanna stick with ‘Ace’ as a pet name, kid.” He shrugged. “I dunno, maybe she likes that kind of thing? Never know about you Humans…”

Okay, this was strange, even for Zeb. My fuzzy tree? Huh? “What are you talking about?”

“Oh, I’m sorry. Guess you prefer to call her your goddess, huh?” Zeb consulted the flimsi again and his grin got even toothier. “She burns your circuits? Never heard it put that way before.”

I did not have time for this. Skywalker was probably outside at that moment making mooka eyes at my girlfriend. “Zeb, I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about. Did you eat some bad mushrooms or something?” You’d think he would have learned that the ones from the forest weren’t safe after that first time...

“No idea what I’m talking about?” Zeb snorted. “Right. Like you didn’t write this for your little fuzzy tree goddess.” He slid the flimsi across the table towards me.

I picked it up, and read the single worst love poem ever written. A love poem addressed to “My Dearest Mara”. My hands clenched, crumpling the edges of the horrible thing. “No. No, I didn’t write this.”

Zeb’s grin faded. “Awww, karabast…. Sorry, kid, I…”

But I didn’t hear the rest of what he said. I was staring at the flimsi, wondering where it came from. Wondering who sent it. Wondering what kind of nerf-brain would compare Mara to a tree.

A tree…

A beautiful tree…

There was only one person idiotic enough to have written it. I only half heard Zeb calling after me as I stormed out of the galley and down the ramp, the flimsi clutched in one hand.

He was there already. Of course he was there already, sitting cross-legged on the ground across from Mara, grinning like a Loth-cat. “Skywalker!” I stepped in between him and Mara and shoved the flimsi in his face. “You like poetry, huh, Skywalker? Well, here’s one for you:

Pyro flowers are red,
Ithorian roses are blue,
If you don’t leave Mara alone,
I’m gonna shove my lightsaber up your nose!”

Behind me, Mara gasped and sprang to her feet. I could sense a sick feeling of dread radiating from her before she started slamming up her shields. Kanan, who’d been leaning against one of the Ghost’s landing struts, jumped up, too.

Skywalker, nose buried in the flimsi, paled. “That...uh...that doesn’t rhyme…”

“Yeah?” I snarled. “Well, it’s more the meaning that’s important here. Seriously, you karking nerf-herder, if you don’t stop trying to put the moves on my girlfriend, I swear I’m gonna…”

“Ezra!” Kanan’s hand fell heavily on my shoulder and pulled me away from Skywalker.

I shook it off. “No, Kanan, do not tell me to control my emotions right now! He wrote Mara a love poem.” I shook the crumpled flimsi and then thrust it into Kanan’s hands so he could see exactly what I was dealing with here--without thinking that was pretty pointless--and turned back to confront Skywalker. “ ‘Mara embrace me...Mara chase me...Mara, I dream of you!’ I’ve put up with you staring after her like a lost mooka all the time, but this is way too much! She’s my girlfriend, not your tree goddess or whatever! So why don’t you run along like a good little mooka and find somebody else to annoy with your stupid poems!”

Skywalker scrambled to his feet and shoved me hard enough that I staggered backwards into Mara. “Because Mara deserves someone better than you!” he yelled over her startled exclamation and Kanan’s wordless cry of frustration. “I’ve written her fourteen love poems. I bet you’ve never even written her one!”

My retort about hoping they all weren’t as crappy as that one died when his words sank in. Fourteen poems. Which meant even if he sent her one every day, this had been going on a while.

And Mara never said anything.

When I turned around, she was standing stiff as if she’d been frozen in carbonite, one hand raised, half-way reaching towards me. Her eyes were wide, her mouth open as if she’d been about to say something, too. I’d never seen her look like that before. She looked afraid. She looked almost...guilty. No. No, it couldn’t be… She wouldn’t have lied to me. Not Mara. Not my Ace…

“Is that true? Did he send you all those poems?”

Her nod was so slight I almost couldn’t see it.

Yavin’s tropical forest suddenly seemed cold. “You never said anything….why didn’t you say anything?!” If she’d told me, I would have made sure Skywalker stopped bothering her. I would have made sure he never sent her any more. Unless she didn’t want them to stop… Aw, karabast, no...

“I…because…” Mara looked away, looked down. Everywhere but at me. “Because I was afraid of this happening!”

Now I know how stormtroopers feel when Zeb bashes them. But at least for them, it’s over fast. “So you were protecting him?”

Now Mara looked up, and there was a wild gleam in her eyes. Her shields were cracking around the edges and anger and fear and, yeah, even guilt were bubbling through. “That’s not what I said! It’s not like that! I just…”

“No?” I demanded. “What would you call it, then?”

“...And this is why the Jedi discouraged attachments!” Kanan stepped into the middle of our messy triangle and pushed me and Skywalker apart until we were an armspan away from each other--and Mara. He was wearing his Stern Jedi scowl and radiated very-disappointed-in-you so strongly that even Skywalker shrank back. “If you boys spent half as much time meditating on the Force as you do trying to one up each other, you could be better than Master Yoda!” He rounded on Luke, who if he’d really been a mooka probably would have rolled on his back and started whimpering. “Luke, if you spent as much time on your lightsaber technique as you do trying to impress Mara, you wouldn’t still be stuck on the first kata! And Ezra, if you spent two seconds thinking before...where are you going?”

I was headed up the ramp to the Ghost, because I'd had enough--enough of his lecture, enough of Skywalker and his stupid poetry, enough of...everything. “You want me to meditate? Fine. I’m going to meditate...alone!”

 

Yikes, this was all kinds of a large blow-up! It's like what can Ezra do to make it up to Mara? And what can she say to reassure him? Poor Kanan, too, let's not forget. He's stuck right in the middle of all this teen angst. So he's gonna tell Hera -- "Please let's not have any kids of our own. Too much drama & trauma."

 

oh boy.

Confrontation. And Mara didn't say anything.

*follows Ezra* whispers: Yes. At last we will reveal ourselves to the Jedi... At last we will have our re-- oops, wrong scene. Uh, Yes, now we will plot our revenge!

 

Pyro flowers are red,
Ithorian roses are blue,
If you don’t leave Mara alone,
I’m gonna shove my lightsaber up your nose!

Worse, much worse than Luke´s poetry, but certainly driving the message home.

In the end Kanan is right to mention why the Jedi stayed away from attachment! Jolly good argument.

 

Hell no, Luke's poetry is AMAZING. I PROTEST.

Well, I don't blame Ezra for his reaction. It's like being betrayed in a way and, at the same time, of course that he will feel like a complete jackass. And while he is absolutely!angsty here, he can sure come up with some err, interesting poetry. Bendunday, or not, he has all the reasons to dislike the current situation. Sure, one always comes up with a superstition in a situation like this, though.

Kanan to the rescue! He's being a true space!dad here. Not a cozy, comfy one, but the one you need when you're on a wrong road and could use a kick in the rear.

 

Ewok Poet: Okay, Luke´s poetry is interesting. Perhaps it would be better if R2 would have been his ghost writer instead of C3PO.

 

Yep, Ezra and Mara certainly have a lot to say to each other after this; apologies and explanations are due on both sides. And also to poor Space!Dad, trying to keep things from getting any messier. He's going to need a stiff drink when he recounts this all to Hera after the kids are in bed. But just think, if they ever do have their own kids, they'll be such old hands at TEH DRAMA that nothing will phase them!

Oh dear, I hope there will not be any revenge plotting! Of course, I believe that Ezra has overcome the temptation of the Dark Side, particularly where Maul is involved.

Ezra has Just About Had It with Luke and his unwanted attention to Mara, so the other boot dropping falls really hard. Zeb...oh yeah, the fuzzy tree goddess poem has to seem like a gift to him. What better way to mortify Little!Space!Bro than with his horribly horrible love poem. Except, oops, he didn't write it. (Wah wah wah waaaah). I think Zeb is honestly chagrined when he realizes what this means, even if he does lose a prime Teasing Opportunity.

Ezra does seem to have picked up a bit of art/literature appreciation from Sabine. Too bad it's lost on Luke, who finally goes all Angry Mooka. It was probably inevitable that these two stubborn young men would clash. Serious breakdown in communications between our lovebirds doesn't help anything.

And Kanan also Has Had It. Space!Dad, representing both Responsible Adults and the Old Jedi Order, steps in to let them know what's what. (Love "angst, yet equanimity " Obviously needed for the Jedi Parent Code) He's been more of an advisor and mentor thus far, but the angst has crossed the line into anger. And anger leads to shoving, and shoving leads to...well, you know. And Ezra...I wouldn't count on any actual meditation being done.

But...but...Ezra's poem is full of raw emotion! It's real. It's from the heart! Ok, it's pretty bad, too. But it gets its point across. Kanan does have a point, though he's not exactly the poster-boy for the non-attachment doctrine

Threepio for Best New Author!

I can't blame him, either. He and Mara have had a serious failure to communicate on top of all his existing animosity towards Luke. Everything finally blows up spectacularly. Benduday...well, it does seem like bad things always happen on certain days (a bit of a nod to the Douglas Adams quote "I never could get the hang of Thursdays.")

. But in life you need both kinds of dads, or rather, a dad who can be both cozy and kick you in the shebs when you need it. In this case, shebs kicking is called for, and Kanan steps in ably to deliver. He'll get his chance to be comfy, cozy dad later.

 

Hugs to my great beta readers, Findswoman And Ewok Poet for dealing with all TEH ANGST


mavjade, Briannakin

--------------------------------

Mara

I should have listened to Hera.

I should have told Ezra about the poems. I could have explained things. I could have talked to him before he went off on Luke. But I didn’t. I tried to overlook things. I tried to deal with it all myself. And now…

I’ve ruined everything.

“Ezra, wait!” I called after him as he marched up the ramp, his back stiff and his hands clenched at his sides. A storm cloud of emotions--anger, hurt, betrayal--trailed after him in the Force. He ignored me, pushing past a startled Hera and Zeb who’d apparently come out to see what all the yelling was about, and disappeared into the Ghost.

A Jedi controls her emotions. I learned a long time ago how to build the walls and keep everything inside, all those feelings I can't let anyone else see. I can put my shields up with hardly a thought, and keep them there without even thinking. Usually. But now, all my emotions boiled up like molten lava. I felt like I was going to explode from the pressure.

I felt a hand on my shoulder as I stood there like an idiot, staring up the ramp even though Ezra was gone and Hera and Zeb had gone after him. I thought it was Kanan, and I took a shuddering breath to pull myself together. Because if he started going on about Jedi and non-attachment and emotion-yet-peace, I was really going to lose it. But when I turned around, it was Luke.

“Are you okay, Mara?” He held his arms out to me, like I was supposed to throw myself into them and cry, so he could comfort me.

And I lost it.

My shields broke like a dam and everything I’d been holding in--the pain of the way Ezra had looked at me before he’d stormed off, the fear that I’d screwed everything up and I’d never be able to fix it, the shame of knowing it was all my fault for not telling Ezra, that this never would have happened if I had--poured out onto one handy, deserving target.

“What the kriff, Luke?” I yelled. “Why? Why did you have to say that?!”

His eyes got big and round, sad as a weepy Sullustan’s. “But...but it’s true! You do deserve someone better! Someone who really appreciates you. He’s…”

Maybe a better person would have decided not to kick the sad little mooka, but at this point I was beyond caring. I’d put up with him being a sad mooka for a long time. I’d overlooked his sighing and pining and his stupid poodoo poetry, and look where it had gotten me. I just kept on yelling. “You don’t even know Ezra! I love him; he loves me!” Loved me…. Oh dear Force, please let him still love me!

“But the Force sent you for me! We’re meant for each other!” Luke kept staring at me with those big, wounded eyes. Why couldn’t I see what was really so obvious, that agonized look seemed to ask.

“To help you! To teach you!” I shot back. That was perfectly obvious to me. Why couldn’t he just accept it? “Not to be your girlfriend. Not because I’m your destiny!”

“I’ve done everything for you, so you’d see we belong together,” he protested, half yelling, half pleading. “So you’d see I'm the better…”

A very bad feeling started to creep over me. “What do you mean you’ve done everything for me?!”

“Everything! I wrote the poems, I learned how to read the sabacc cards, I learned the Jedi code, I did all those stupid lightsaber exercises! All to be the best Jedi for you! All so you’d realize that we’re soulmates…”

My anger drained, leaving nothing but a sick emptiness inside. All of the improvements Luke had made were only to impress me. Not because he wanted to learn, not because I was any kind of a teacher--just in some futile bid to win me away from Ezra. I’d tried so hard to do what the Force asked of me. I’d stuck with it. I’d done my best, but none of it had mattered. “Go home, Skywalker, I’m done.”

Luke paused in his whiny entreaty and blinked at me. “Done?”

“Done with lessons.”

“For today?”

“No. Just done. I’m not your soul mate. I’m not your destiny. And I’m definitely not the prize you get from the Force for becoming a Jedi. I can’t do this anymore.” I turned away from him, crossing my arms over my chest, and squeezed my eyes shut against the tears that were threatening. “I’m done. We’re done.”

“But…” His voice was small and lost. “How am I going to learn to be a Jedi then?”

“I don’t know. I don’t really care.” I said, still not opening my eyes. He would not see me cry. “Ask Kanan if he’ll take you. Right now, though, you should just go.” Please just go...

“But…”

I heard the slight rustle of Kanan stepping forward. “Luke, it might be better for now if you did go. We’ll talk later.”

There was a pause and then a long, shuddery sigh from Luke. I sensed him leave, dragging his feet, trailing a cloud of misery behind him. Leaving me alone in my own misery.

I hugged myself tighter, trying to hold myself together. I tried to gather my shields back, but they were in so many pieces and they slipped away every time I tried to piece them together. “You don’t have to say anything,” I told Kanan. I could sense he was still there, waiting. “I know I failed.”

“I wasn’t going to say that.”

“Well, I did. I failed the Force.” I sagged, arms falling to my sides. It was useless to try to keep it together, why even bother? “What does it want from me, Kanan?” My voice came out in a horrible, quavery wail. So much for “emotion, yet peace” and all the other tenets of the Jedi code. Good skies, what a pathetic wreck I’d become! “I’m just a padawan. I shouldn’t be teaching! I tried, I really did, but I ruined everything! I failed my mission. And now I’ve lost Ezra, too…”

And since my shields were a broken dam, the tears came, too, slowly at first and then a flood. I hated myself for it, but I couldn't stop them. I broke down like some stupid girl from a holo-rom, and wept onto Kanan’s shoulder.

He stood there stiffly at first, a little nonplussed, but slowly he folded his arms around me. I felt his strength and warmth in a way that reminded me so much of my dad that I almost cried harder. He held me without saying anything until my tears finally turned into empty sobs.

“I don’t think you’ve lost him,” he said. “But the two of you have a lot to talk about. You’ve been overlooking some things that you probably ought to have discussed. When you love someone, you have to be honest, even about things that are difficult. Especially about the things that are difficult.”

“I know; I should have listened to Hera.” I let go of Kanan, sniffling, and I'm sure I looked every bit as pathetic as I felt, with tears still streaking my face, eyes that were red from crying and a drippy nose. I scrubbed at the tears, but even if it made me look marginally less awful, it didn’t make me feel like any less of an idiot. “I should have talked to Ezra. I was afraid that he’d throw rocks or split Luke’s pants...but this is worse. Do you think he’ll ever understand?”

“He can’t understand if you don’t talk to him.”

The way Kanan said it sounded so reasonable, but the thought of facing Ezra made me a little sick. He’d looked so hurt and angry when he stormed off. What if he wouldn’t listen? What if he never wanted to see me again? “But what do I do about Luke?”

“Don’t worry about that right now. We’ll take care of him later. Now…”

I sighed. “...go talk to Ezra.”

“Right.” He nodded. “He loves you, Mara. Don’t forget that.”

“Thanks, Kanan.” I smiled weakly and hugged him again, and this time he returned the hug right away.

“Go on, and may the Force be with you.”