JCC Dealing with a suicide -- need help

You may or may not know me from the Star Wars boards, but I could really do with some guidance and assistance. Arguably, I have never felt worse or more lost than now.

I just received word that a friend of a friend -- actually, a partner of a *very* close online friend -- has committed suicide this very day.

My friend herself is quite the vulnerable type and has no-one in her vicinity (she lives in the Philippines) to cling to; no friends or family she trusts.

I am terribly worried for her own psychological well-being and personal safety.

It sounds selfish, but my own world just gone torn upside down. Any advice is welcome and desperately sought for.

Words can't do my feelings justice. I'm in bits and really need to hear some comforting words and advice about what to do next. I have no idea what my next move should be. I'm scared, angry, and confused, but I just want to help my friend.

Thanks in advance.

 

Please go talk to a professional counselor. If you are a student there are free services and if not use google because there are plenty of options so you dont have to pay. If you are religious I suggest going to a pastor or priest.

Mobile sock of s65horsey

 

I find the best suicide prevention to be homicide.

 

These people will point you and your friend in the right direction and educate you about a number of resources and support available in your areas.
http://www.suicide.org/international-suicide-hotlines.html

They also have a forum for suicide survivors.
http://www.suicide.org/suicide-survivors-forum.html

 

I'm so sorry for you and your friend's loss.

I Googled some information about a suicide hotline in the Philippines. Hopefully they can help your friend find a local survivors' group:

http://ngf-hope.org/contact-us/

(02) 804-HOPE (4673)
0917 558 HOPE (4673) / (02) 211 4550
0917 852 HOPE (4673)/ (02) 964 6876
0917 842 HOPE (4673)/ (02) 964 4084 ​

 

Cryogenic, I'm truly sorry that suicide has touched your life. It has profoundly affected mine as well, and the only advice I can give is what others have given: talk to someone. Find a therapist, post on the forum harpuah kindly provided, hell - post right here in this thread - we're here for you. Write about it - I've read a number of your posts, and it's clear you have great skill at expressing yourself with the written word. The point is: get the feelings out.

My heart goes out to you, your friend, and all survivors of suicide.

 

Hi Cryogenic, I do recognize you from around the boards.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

I agree with the above posters who have recommended reaching out to a local or internet support group, or someone like a counselor. There are support groups and other resources for survivors of suicide. They can help. And they can help you support your friend. As your friend is isolated, I definitely think she should reach out to whatever resources are available to her. Let her know that you're there for her, but encourage her to speak with someone specially trained as well.

And like Son of a Bith said, keep talking here if you need to. It may be the JCC but it's better than going it alone.

 

edit: Sigh I realized this will only provoke bad things so nevermind. Only MS can revel in this post.

 

Just be there for your friend. If you're a professional therapist then you'd likely have a better idea of what to do, but I am assuming you're not a therapist, so your best bet is to just be there for your friend and advise them to speak with a therapist who has experience in this area.

 

step one: cut a hole in the box

 

There is no right or wrong way to deal with the news of a suicide. Just like any kind of grief, people will go through the various stages in their own fashion and their own time. Not to mention that the way you react is based upon your relationship to the person. The way myself and other friends reacted to the suicide of a common friend of ours was each different, and something that might have comforted one was the wrong thing to say to another.

And I also get the inability to know what to do to help a friend through the suicide of a loved one. I was at a loss in what I could do for one of my best friends when his younger brother took his life. All you can do is be there for them whenever they need to talk or whatever, and make sure they know that.

At the end of the day, what harps and DLM posted is what you should pass onto your friend. It's the best thing that you can do when separated by such distance.

 

Oh, this! Big time!

 

Alright so I am gonna tell you the straight up truth. Suicide is 100% pointless. It doesn't do anybody any good. while you are relived of any emotional/physical pain it generally gets passed on to family and friends

 

Edit. Sorry. My whole post was wildly unhelpful.

 

Thank you for the responses the other week, guys.

My friend is bearing up marginally better, now, and I feel I've done pretty much all I can for her. I can only continue going forward by offering more of the same: to be there to hear her out, to comfort, console, uplift, etc. The news obviously took its toll on me at the beginning, but I did return to something approaching normality fairly fast. Even my general concern has slightly waned for my friend, as harsh or as metallic as that sounds. As someone who PM-ed me over this matter said, we can't control other people; everyone is, ultimately, the arbiter of their actions and choices. That notion is initially doleful, but then brings with it its own solace. I did offer her a counseling number, and advised her to seek out counseling several times, but she's a pretty private, introverted person, so -- thus far, anyway -- she has not been swayed.

This thing is very difficult because my friend is, to some extent, a victim of her own isolation. I am her only close friend and she really likes or trusts few others (none in her immediate social environment). I think slightly dialing back my contact with her in the last few days has further helped me, mentally, and maybe her, too. You can have too much of a good thing. It's hard to find that balance in life: being there for others, yet (especially if you're like me -- Mister Evasive) keeping lots of "me" time available, for your own sanity and well-being. I guess no-one really finds it. Life is a struggle; but I mostly enjoy the struggle; so I'm already more fortunate than people who get into dark lines of thought from which they (seemingly) cannot escape. Woe is them, yay is me. Or something.

Once again, my thanks.

 

Thank you, heels1785.

"Objective" might be a better fit than "rational", but I appreciate your kind words.

I think you're absolutely correct about reliance. Extreme attachment is never good.

So many life lessons in Star Wars. I see into the saga and feel its resonance more deeply than ever before.