Saga Dear Master, Dear Padawan- The Truth Behind Anakin's Fall, humor, updated 8/3

VA_Parky I've had a small update waiting forever, so here it is.

Kynstar Yes, little Leia is annoying to him. I wonder why?

Galactic_Girl It's Leia. His favorite person in the whole galaxy!

Gina The gloves are definitely OFF!

DarthVaderette It's been a LONG time since this was updated, but sure!

Laine_Snowtrekker Will do!

Darth_Leia_6669 It's starting again. I HOPE to take it through ANH.

Darth_Drachonus Thanks for reading!

 

Greetings Kenobi,

So? It?s been a while since we?ve communicated. I was hoping that you had had the decency to die. Apparently not. I suppose I should be grateful that I still have the opportunity to kill you myself. I do look forward to it. There?s nothing like a little anticipation to brighten my day.

Vader




Dear Darthling,

Heard a nasty rumor about you and a droid. You never could keep your pants on. Wait?is that still a sore subject? I?m SO sorry if I?ve offended.

Just how much of you is machinery now? Just curious. Inquiring minds want to know.

Master Obi-Wan






Kenobi,

Wouldn?t you like to know?

Vader





Darth,

How stupid are you? I just SAID I wanted to know. You?re even denser than I thought, unless that helmet is eating your brain cells. Better be careful, you don?t have too many to spare.

Force knows where I found the patience to try and train you. Exile isn?t so bad, especially since I don?t have to put up with you and your shenanigans.

Kenobi





Kenobi,

Let?s just remember who is in hiding and who is just one heartbeat away from the Imperial throne, shall we?

Vader

PS: And who uses the word shenanigans anymore?





Darth,

Perhaps we should consider who has all of their body parts and which of us might be labeled ?Some Assembly Required.? How about that?

Master Obi-Wan





Kenobi,

Your biting wit never fails to amaze me.

Vader





Darth,

Incredible comeback, oh former Padawan of mine! I fear you have unmanned me with your genius. Speaking of unmanned?

Kenobi (All man, 100% pure, no mechanical parts required)





Kenobi,

Big talk from a man in exile.

Vader



Dear Darthy,

And what overgrown, oversexed half-droid betrayed me and put me into exile?

Kenobi




Kenobi,

Obviously, you still need to consider upping your fiber intake. Someone is cranky. Of course, at your age, you probably just need a nap. I can arrange for some adult diapers to be sent to you, if wetting your bed is a problem. Just forward your address and I?ll see to it right away.

I?m proud to say that I put you in exile. So much for being the ?Master.? I should caution you that to goad my temper is not wise. One day, not too long from now, you?ll find yourself at my not-so-tender mercies and then we shall see who is the Master.

Vader



Dear Darthy,

Oh look, he?s learned a new word. Goad. Bet you had to look it up, didn?t you?

I really don?t think you have room to be talking about adult diapers, old padawan of mine. Although I suppose you prefer those awful tubes and pouches. I wonder what all of your adoring fans would think of the Hero with No Fear now?

Kenobi




Kenobi,


I pray every day that this will be the day I find you and mete out justice. I found another Jedi today and added a lightsaber to my collection. Thought you?d want to know.

Vader




Dear Darthy,

Justice or revenge? I think you?ve lost sight of the difference. Must be the helmet. Of course, you always were somewhat of a dim bulb.

Kenobi



Kenobi,

Tell me, do you wish to die quickly and painfully or SLOWLY and painfully? I think I?m rather leaning toward slow and painful, much like your lectures.

Vader, Dark Lord of the Sith

P.S. PLEASE quit calling me Darthy. You know how I hate that.



Dear Darthy,

I?m so sorry, but what gave you the impression that I care what you like or don?t like?

And how would you know ANYTHING about my lectures!? You never paid attention to a single one of them. Perhaps if you had, you wouldn?t be made out of old droid parts and tubing.

The ?no attachment? one would be a rather glaring example of a lecture you obviously tuned out completely.

Master Kenobi

P.S. You keep saying how you want to kill me slowly, but won't that be difficult if you can't FIND me?





Kenobi,

I think you were just jealous. After all,

 

ROTFL!!!!

Really! These two could use a good time-out. They bicker more than a pair of eight-year-olds.

 

Greetings Kenobi,

So? It?s been a while since we?ve communicated. I was hoping that you had had the decency to die. Apparently not. I suppose I should be grateful that I still have the opportunity to kill you myself. I do look forward to it. There?s nothing like a little anticipation to brighten my day.

Vader


Dear Darthling,

Heard a nasty rumor about you and a droid. You never could keep your pants on. Wait?is that still a sore subject? I?m SO sorry if I?ve offended.

Just how much of you is machinery now? Just curious. Inquiring minds want to know.

Master Obi-Wan


Kenobi,

Wouldn?t you like to know?

Vader


Darth,

How stupid are you? I just SAID I wanted to know. You?re even denser than I thought, unless that helmet is eating your brain cells. Better be careful, you don?t have too many to spare.

Force knows where I found the patience to try and train you. Exile isn?t so bad, especially since I don?t have to put up with you and your shenanigans.

Kenobi


Kenobi,

Let?s just remember who is in hiding and who is just one heartbeat away from the Imperial throne, shall we?

Vader

PS: And who uses the word shenanigans anymore?


Darth,

Perhaps we should consider who has all of their body parts and which of us might be labeled ?Some Assembly Required.? How about that?

Master Obi-Wan


Kenobi,

Your biting wit never fails to amaze me.

Vader



Darth,

Incredible comeback, oh former Padawan of mine! I fear you have unmanned me with your genius. Speaking of unmanned?

Kenobi (All man, 100% pure, no mechanical parts required)[/i]

Gah, I'm cracking up here - fantastically funny.





Dear Darthy,

I?m so sorry, but what gave you the impression that I care what you like or don?t like?

And how would you know ANYTHING about my lectures!? You never paid attention to a single one of them. Perhaps if you had, you wouldn?t be made out of old droid parts and tubing.

The ?no attachment? one would be a rather glaring example of a lecture you obviously tuned out completely.

Master Kenobi

P.S. You keep saying how you want to kill me slowly, but won't that be difficult if you can't FIND me?



This is way too funny for first thing in the morning.

 

Greetings Kenobi,

So? It?s been a while since we?ve communicated. I was hoping that you had had the decency to die. Apparently not. I suppose I should be grateful that I still have the opportunity to kill you myself. I do look forward to it. There?s nothing like a little anticipation to brighten my day.

Vader


Dear Darthling,

Heard a nasty rumor about you and a droid. You never could keep your pants on. Wait?is that still a sore subject? I?m SO sorry if I?ve offended.

Just how much of you is machinery now? Just curious. Inquiring minds want to know.

Master Obi-Wan


Kenobi,

Wouldn?t you like to know?

Vader


Darth,

How stupid are you? I just SAID I wanted to know. You?re even denser than I thought, unless that helmet is eating your brain cells. Better be careful, you don?t have too many to spare.

Force knows where I found the patience to try and train you. Exile isn?t so bad, especially since I don?t have to put up with you and your shenanigans.

Kenobi


Kenobi,

Let?s just remember who is in hiding and who is just one heartbeat away from the Imperial throne, shall we?

Vader

PS: And who uses the word shenanigans anymore?


Darth,

Perhaps we should consider who has all of their body parts and which of us might be labeled ?Some Assembly Required.? How about that?

Master Obi-Wan


Kenobi,

Your biting wit never fails to amaze me.

Vader



Darth,

Incredible comeback, oh former Padawan of mine! I fear you have unmanned me with your genius. Speaking of unmanned?

Kenobi (All man, 100% pure, no mechanical parts required)[/i]

Gah, I'm cracking up here - fantastically funny.





Dear Darthy,

I?m so sorry, but what gave you the impression that I care what you like or don?t like?

And how would you know ANYTHING about my lectures!? You never paid attention to a single one of them. Perhaps if you had, you wouldn?t be made out of old droid parts and tubing.

The ?no attachment? one would be a rather glaring example of a lecture you obviously tuned out completely.

Master Kenobi

P.S. You keep saying how you want to kill me slowly, but won't that be difficult if you can't FIND me?



This is way too funny for first thing in the morning.

 

Absolutely hilarious! Great work!

 

Yay, this finally was updated!


Dear Darthy,

I?m so sorry, but what gave you the impression that I care what you like or don?t like?

And how would you know ANYTHING about my lectures!? You never paid attention to a single one of them. Perhaps if you had, you wouldn?t be made out of old droid parts and tubing.

The ?no attachment? one would be a rather glaring example of a lecture you obviously tuned out completely.

Master Kenobi

P.S. You keep saying how you want to kill me slowly, but won't that be difficult if you can't FIND me?

He's kinda got a point there






Dear Darthy,

And now you?re the one who is doing the panting. Pity, really. Why don?t you just take a deep breath and calm down?

Ooops. I?m so sorry. I forgot.

Kenobi




Snarky kenobi! That was great!!

 

Ha ha! Great post.

 

Legendary! These are freakin great

 

Well, I found another story that is dangerous to read at the library! Awesome work, even if I'm a little late to the party. Anyway, that was reat, and I hope you add more soon!

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