LA, CA Dear Skyryder...

Discussion in 'Pacific Regional Discussion' started by JediBith, Mar 25, 2005.

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  1. JediBith Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 6, 2001
    star 4
    Dear Skyryder,

    I've been stuck in this garbage masher for what seems like ages. I think there's a creature in the water that wants to eat me. The walls are starting to squeeze together now! Where are my droids? Why can't I use the force in here? Why am I feeling like I'm about to get a lot thinne
  2. DarthHaskett Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 29, 2003
    star 5
    Dear Skyryder,

    There's this girl who I know likes me but she won't admit it. For some reason she doesn't seem to trust me always and thinks that all I'm good at is taking care of myself. And there's this wimpy guy who seems to be trying to cut in on my action. What do I do?

    Not Scruffy looking
  3. Elensara Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 2, 2002
    star 4
    Dear Skyryder,
    Will I ever catch up on my homework? Will my chemistry teacher ever be nice and not think himself superior? Will I shrivel up/flab out from no ballet on Sunday? Will all LAFF yell at me for not being "in character"?

    -A friend

    PS--Wimpy?! wth? I don't think so. :)
  4. Clawdite_Daisy Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 4, 2003
    star 2
    Dear Skyryder,

    How can a girl Jedi fullfll her duties and still carry necessary accessories? I have no idea where to stash my compact and lipstick let alone a hairbrush. If they can make those stupid food pellets, why can't they make a practical make up kit. Just because I choose the Light Side doesn't mean I can't look good.
  5. DarthMommy Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 22, 2005
    star 2
    Dear Skyryder,

    I have a weird neighbor. He seems to have some hygiene issues. He won't comb his hair! When he floats to the local Anchorhead Wal-mart I can smell him from a mile away. When confronted he says he can't do anything "until his leg heals". What do I do in the meantime? I don't want to bag on him b/c his wife has been missing. Help!

    Anonymous moisture farmer
  6. Master--Kenobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 8, 2003
    star 4
    Dear Skyryder:

    I am having problems with my Padawan. I don't quite trust him... in fact I keep having the feeling that someday he will be the death of me. He also seems to have an abnormal interest in politics, especially senators and chancellors. Any suggestions? Please hurry as we are scheduled to leave on vacation at a local Volcano Preserve.

    Thank You,

    Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi
  7. Skyryder Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 13, 2004
    star 5
    Dear, (I'm sorry I didn't catch your name there was too much screaming going on)

    Don't worry help will come. In the meantime let me suggest a few games to pass the time.

    1. Since it's close to Easter. Hide spoiled eggs!
    2. Form a rock band. Use the garbage as instruments. Hey it worked for STOMP!!
    3. And last, love thy neighbor make friends with the creature (which is probably a Dianoga), you might be there a while.

    I hope that helps. Maybe you should get better droids, or maybe you should shut your trap more and listen to what old people have to say and you would be able to use the force.

    Sincerely
    Skyryder
  8. Skyryder Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 13, 2004
    star 5
    Dear Not Scruffy Looking,

    Ok, here is what you do... First, stay tough. She'll like that. There is an old saying where girls like to play with the bad boys but take the good boys home to mother. Well that just isn't true anymore. Women today want a man who is a MAN. Be the hero on the outside, but show some tenderness too and she will be all yours. I promise. And don't worry about that whimpy kid. I've heard from him, and boy does he have some issues.

    Sincerely
    Skyryder
  9. Skyryder Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 13, 2004
    star 5
    Dear A Friend

    Will I ever catch up on my homework?
    Yes, when you finish the semester you will have either finished your homework, or it will no longer matter. In any case you won't have to worry about it anymore.

    Will my chemistry teacher ever be nice and not think himself superior? Only if you take him to Anchorhead and have his memory erased. Actually, some profs like to do a power trip thing. They want you to know they are in charge. You are growing and forming opinions of your own, that could challenge their own. My advise is to stand your ground and try not to let it bother you. He is just one person in a lifetime of people you will meet.

    Will I shrivel up/flab out from no ballet on Sunday? Don't be silly. One day of missing exercise won't matter. Try and keep it balanced is the key. If you can't get to ballet on Sunday try doing something else similar that day or just take a long walk for yourself. That time of meditation will strengthen both your outside and your inside. But make sure to go to ballet the next time.

    Will all LAFF yell at me for not being "in character"? I sure hope not. Don't worry about what other people think. As long as you don't hurt yourself or anyone around you. Do what makes you happy and to heck with what anyone thinks.

    Sincerely
    Skyryder
  10. Skyryder Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 13, 2004
    star 5
    Dear Person with Accessory Logistics Problem

    I would need to see your outfit to know exactly where we could put you accessories. I too have had this same problem but with different items. Do you use a robe or cloak? If so try sewing pockets into them. A nice dark messenger bag, something to what the famed Chewbacca wears, but also a bit more feminine might also work. Let me know how it turns out.

    Sincerely
    Skyryder
  11. Skyryder Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 13, 2004
    star 5
    Dear Moisture Farmer

    I can understand! Who hasn't been too close to a uncleaned moisture farmer. Smells like the wrong end of a Bantha on a hot Tatooine day.

    Here is what I suggest. Send over a box of complimentary grooming products. You say he has lost his wife? Well, he probably relied on her to buy these things for him and with her gone, has no idea what to get. Who knows maybe you can move in on him since the old lady up and left. Don't knock a man just because he has one leg. He could be that diamond in the rough.

    Sincerely
    Skyryder
  12. Darth-Bubba Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 11, 2002
    star 4
    Dear SR,

    Do you like cats? Do you like Led Zeppelin?
    Well, if you do, click here. Its funny. Turn up your volume.

    Gift to Skyryder
  13. Skyryder Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 13, 2004
    star 5
    Dear Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi

    So you can't trust your Padawan? Well he has been with you since he was a boy right? I see that maybe you should have done a better job. If you can't trust him no one will. You need to start from the beginning. You need to regain that trust and understanding you once had. Take him far far away from all this trouble with politicians. Elected officals come and they go, but it is your relationship with your padawan that will last,but only if you seize this moment to reteach him the basic principles it is to be a good man.


    Sincerely
    Skyryder
  14. DarthMommy Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 22, 2005
    star 2
    Dear Skyryder,
    I am a fan of your work. I didn't see this side of you at Benningans. You are the most talented advice-giver I have ever known. I see you becoming the greatest of all advice-givers.

    Your biggest fan,

    DM
  15. Skyryder Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 13, 2004
    star 5
    DB, thanks for the link. You guys have had me lauging for about 30 minutes straight now.

    DM, I have a degree in Social Work. It's what I do.
  16. DarthMommy Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 22, 2005
    star 2
    Do you really do social work? Wow. You're really smooth with the words, but I am nearly in tears laughing. This has been a very funny afternoon.
  17. DarthHaskett Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 29, 2003
    star 5
    Dear Skyryder,

    My counterpart is driving me crazy. The other day he turned up the heater because I mentioned the room was cold. Well it was supposed to be cold, we were in a passage carved in snow! Everything got moldy and smelled. We had to throw everything out and my mistress had to buy a whole new wardrobe, most quite nice but I am concerned about this metal bikini item I found (it didn't fit me). What can I do to make this overgrown blob of grease behave correctly?

    Hardware in Hoth

    P.S. I had forgotten about your degree. You're really good at this!
  18. Darth-Bubba Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 11, 2002
    star 4
    Dear Skyryder,

    My counter-part (in life) uses too much toilet paper every day. Plus she has too many shoes. Plus, she records dumb shows on TV like Oprah and Oxygen channel. What do I do? Can I zap her with a force pike?

    Also, where/how do we hide secret FX Master Replicas Light Sabers. My vehicle hath not secret smuggling compartments like the Millenium Falcon. (hath not a toilet either)

    Regards,

    Anonymous Royal Guard
    [image=http://lafanforce.com/ipw-web/gallery/albums/D-B-photos-2002-3/Kristen_and_IRG.sized.jpg]
  19. Skyryder Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 13, 2004
    star 5
    Dear Hardware

    It sounds to me like you and your counterpart are having communication issues. It also sounds like you have more than just casual feelings for your partner. I think you need to confront your emotions head on before you are all swimming in lake Hoth wearing bikinis.

    Sincerely
    Skyryder
  20. Skyryder Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 13, 2004
    star 5
    Dear Royal Guard

    Compromise, compromise, compromise. That is the key to any successful relationship. Just like the sky being blue, it is a given fact that women use too much toilet paper. Live with it. Let it go. It's just toilet paper, it's cheap. I'm sure you have your share of shows that she finds dumb too. I know it is hard to believe, but not everyone likes the same things. It makes us different, special, and is probably why you were drawn to her in the first place. So no, you may not zap her with your force pike unless you want to end up in a Geonosian prision chipping rocks all day.

    Oh and if she ever mentions your large collection of FX Lightsabers, just remind her of her shoe collection. Remember compromise!

    Sincerely
    Skyryder
  21. ValedaKor Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 25, 2000
    star 5
    This should be a column on the front page of TF.N...

    This is the funniest thing I have read in a long time. TY Skyryder!

    What a great bunch of people we have in our little group. Youse guys are the best!
  22. JediRacer Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 5, 2000
    star 5
    Dear Skyryder,

    Today was my day off and I was busy doing running errands and hanging out with my wife. I come back home, turn on the computer and find that the LAFF boards have run amok. Almost all the threads are off topic now (see Hasketting).
    What should I do?
    a) Should I care?
    b) Should I edit?
    c) Should I ban?
    d) LAFF is the best FF in the galaxy and should be left alone.
  23. JediBith Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 6, 2001
    star 4
    So totally d. Plus we love you.
  24. Skyryder Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 13, 2004
    star 5
    Dear Person who should probably use Xanax

    I think you need to take a moment, step back, and see the bigger picture. So what if a few threads are off topic. It isn't the end of the world. It will be ok. Let it go. I understand it is your job, so just give a friendly reminder now and again. But definately don't ban the offending posters to an igloo on Hoth.
    Be thankful that
    A. You have a job.
    B. You have a wife you like hanging out with
    C. You have friends
    D. Your friends like talking to each other no matter how crazy or off topic their conversations get.

    Sincerely
    Skyryder

  25. Clawdite_Daisy Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 4, 2003
    star 2
    Dear Anonymous Royal Guard,
    I may be responsible for your counterpart's shoe dilema. She and I have been secretly going shopping together and I turned her on to Dantooine Shoe Warehouse(DSW). The deals and the selections are incredible. I better keep her away from Makeup Artistry of Coruscant(MAC).
    Sincerely
    CD
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