Saga Death Star: 90's Pop Song Roulette Response

Title: Death Star
Author: RX_Sith
Category: Song-Fic, Humor
Summary: The song that the Stormtroopers sing about the "Death Star".
Disclaimer: I don?t know what to say except that this is based on the song "All Star" by Smash Mouth.
Notes: This is for the 90?s Pop Song Roulette and when I got this song, all I could think of was the Stormtroopers and what they thought of the new gleaming Death Star and what they would sing if they were given the chance to before the Emperor.

The Stormtroopers lined up in perfect formation for the opening of the Death Star. Darth Vader had assembled the best of the best in the galaxy for the chance to sing the Theme Song of the "Death Star" to the Emperor. As Vader waved his lightsaber in the air, the Stormtroopers cleared their throats and began to sing in perfect unison.

Somebody once told me the galaxy is so boring
I can't help but to keep on bumping my head
But it was gray and metallic, with one main laser
And with one order, everyone would be dead

Well the years it took to build it took a toll on us watching
One Officer after another getting tortured and falling
It didn't make sense to pretend not to notice
That it constantly got to be of more and more importance

So much to do so much to fix
So what's wrong with this lot of death sticks
You'll never know if you don't blow
You'll never aim high if you don't go low

[Chorus:]
Hey now we're on the Death Star get your blast on, fire away
Hey now we're on the Death Star scolding Vader's sorcerer's ways
And all that black is so gloom
Only shooting from Death Stars spell your doom

In the prison cell they say you can feel his spell
You're screaming and scratching not to tell
Any secrets but the probe droid starts to dig deep
'Til your hole comes out of your mouth in your sleep

There's always room for improvement
So says Vader as searches for Rebel movement
Our height's are the same as another
We're so alike that we are practically brothers

[Repeat Chorus 2x]

Somebody once tried to attack us so we put on our shorts
I think that we need to add more shielding to them exhaust ports
I said wow what a great plan
I believe no Rebels could get a shot off on us, Dan
And we never believed they would steal our codes
Well the years continue to go by one by one
Back to the rule of two and then the Jedi will be done
Doesn't make any sense to me as my mind goes numb
My brain starts hurting so we just continue to man this gun
So much to do so much to fix
So what's wrong with this lot of death sticks
You'll never know if you don't blow
You'll never aim high if you don't go low

The Emperor displayed a ghastly look on his face as the Stormtroopers finished the song, "Oh, frak it," he said all exasperated as he extended his hands and fried Darth Vader with Force lightning, "Get the plans ready for the Death Star II", he mumbled to his associate Mas Amedda, "We're going to need it."

 

Not quite what you're supposed to do for a songfic, but rock on. Good parody!

 

That was hilarious!

I can just picture the look of horror on Sidious' face

Great response to the challenge