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Death Star Disco Lounge(AU, Post NJO, Humour)-Now on Ep. IV: The Posters Strike Back

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction Stories--Classic JC Board (Reply-Only)' started by Moff_D, Oct 5, 2002.

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  1. Moff_D

    Moff_D Jedi Master star 5

    Aug 3, 2002
    Ok, this is primarily a bit of silliness mainly for the regulars of "For Anakin Solo Fans Only..." on the Lit. Board. However, if you think you can add to it give it a shot.
  2. Moff_D

    Moff_D Jedi Master star 5

    Aug 3, 2002
    The first part was written by Tahi and inspired me on. I hope she does not mind me commandeering it to start things off. If you don?t like it, blame her? ;)

    Scene: Moff D's Death Star Disco Lounge.

    Voice Over (that sounds amazingly like Colin Mockery): It's a quiet night at the Death Star Disco Lounge. Moff D - who bears a striking resemblance to Gareth Rees - is reclining in one of the Imperial Red nerf-hide comform-chairs, his corusca gem-studded death stick holder poised languidly in his long, supple, sensual fingers.

    Moff D (turning to CeeWulf): What's the time Mr. Wulf?
    CeeWulf (meditatively): Ah, If I only had Time.
    Moff D (catching sight of a pretty young blonde entering the room on the arm of a studly young man): Who's That Girl?
    CeeWulf: Dunno - definitely an Uptown Girl I think.
    Moff D: Hmm. I'd like to be One Step Closer.
    Imagine Dancing in the Moonlight with her.

    A sudden flash of light fills the ornate viewport.

    Moff D: (laughing manically as shards of a destroyed planet fill the screen) Mwahaha - Another One Bites the Dust.
    Blonde girl (turning to the young man in the snug-fitting dark brown and orange disco suit): Wow, Anakin. That's another one gone Up Up Up in a Cloud of Smoke.
    CeeWulf (points to the young man and raises his eyebrows questioningly to Moff D)
    Moff D (confidentially): He's a Rebel, and He'll Never Never Be Any Good.
    Anakin (to the blonde): Watch it Tahiri. Those two look like they've got The Bad Touch. I reckon they're responsible for this Space Oddity.
    Tahiri: Don't worry Anakin, Wherever You Will Go, I will too.
    Anakin (squeezing her hand): You Make Me So Very Happy, you know that. We'll let these evil planet-killers have One Last Breath, and then we'll let them have it.


    A little later?

    Moff D and CeeWulf huddled in the corner. ?So what do you think, CeeWulf? Is it the Solo brat??
    ?Hard to tell?it looks like him,? replied CeeWulf. ?I thought he was dead.?
    The rumor that Anakin Solo had perished in a secret mission behind enemy lines had spread through the galaxy like wild fire. Many thought Anakin was dead, but now the opposite appeared true.
    ?Apparently not,? stated Moff blandly. ?Summon Darth Karde.?
    ?I?m already here.? The hooded form of Darth Karde emerged from the shadows directly behind the table Moff and CeeWulf were seated at.
    CeeWulf jumped with a start, ?Sith-spit you hooded freak! Stop doing that!?
    ?It is my way,? answered Darth Karde?s monotone.
    ?Yeah? Well does your way know how to get Bubblezap stains out of my pants??
    ?Stop it you two,? interjected Moff. ?Is it Anakin, Karde??
    ?Hmmm,? wondered Moff, ?I wonder what he?s doing here? Of all the disco lounges in all the death stars in all the galaxy he walked into mine.?
    ?What?? chimed CeeWulf and Karde together.
    ?Nothing,? answered Moff. Spying Jedi Alman and Tahi dancing together on the far side of the floor, Moff waved his hand in the air trying to get their attention. Tahi spotted the invitation and maneuvered the couple?s way over to the table and its growing party. Moff pointed to the couple at the bar indicating his reason for calling Alman and Tahi over.
    ?Oooo, who?s the stud?? asked a very interested Tahi.
    ?Forget him. Who?s the barefooted chick beside him?? asked an equally interested Alman.
    ?Keep it in your pants,? shot Moff. Glancing at Tahi he continued, ?both of you! That?s Anakin Solo. The ?barefooted chick? as you so eloquently put it Alman would be Tahiri.?
    ?Really? I thought he was dead,? replied Alman. ?What?s he doing here??
    CeeWulf answered, ?We don?t know, but it can?t be good. It?s a known fact Jedi hate disco. Even more than that they hate exploding planets.?
    ?C?mon now,? defended Moff, ? everybody hates disco but you can dance to it! And I only blow up uninhabited moons! People like the light show.?
    ?Yes, but remember when you blew up the Solo vacation home?? asked Karde. ?That family doesn?t forget things like that.?
    ?You think that?s it??
  3. Darth Guy

    Darth Guy Chosen One star 10

    Aug 16, 2002

    *backs slowly away from "poster gone crazy" Moff_D*
  4. Moff_D

    Moff_D Jedi Master star 5

    Aug 3, 2002
    Aww crap, you're supposed to be the bartender Guy! :p
  5. Jedi_Knight_Satine

    Jedi_Knight_Satine Jedi Padawan star 4

    May 5, 2002
    I'm serving drinks waitress style! :D

    And I fall everywhere! [face_laugh] How did you know??!!

  6. Moff_D

    Moff_D Jedi Master star 5

    Aug 3, 2002
    Lucky guess :p

    GRANDADMIRALAXLROSE Jedi Knight star 7

    May 8, 2002
    Quite interesting might I say.

    Captain Rose of the EUDF
  8. Darth Guy

    Darth Guy Chosen One star 10

    Aug 16, 2002
    *looking out for Moff_D, he comes in and quietly ups this crazy fic*
  9. Tahi

    Tahi Jedi Knight star 5

    Jun 8, 2002
    LOL - that is brilliant Moff D, and no I don't mind you using me as your Muse at all. I'll just send you an invoice thru the mail - JK. I'll try and think of some more ideas asap.
  10. Jedi_Alman

    Jedi_Alman Jedi Padawan star 4

    Apr 9, 2002
    Creative. Very...creative.

    I wish I had time to write, but I can hardly find to time to come by the FASFO thread and write on my own fic!
  11. Tahi

    Tahi Jedi Knight star 5

    Jun 8, 2002
    Jaina: (standing threateningly with her hands on her hips) Okay, so the rumours were true, and you're alive Anakin. What's the big idea putting us all through such agony? And you'd better make it a good explanation, little Brother.

    Anakin: (puts his rainbow drink down and throws his sister one of his lop-sided grins) Yeah, sorry about that Jaina - but you can blame it on Greg Keyes. He wrote us such cool adventures, and after that kiss in the locker we decided we wanted more. So we bribed Troy Denning to kill me off, bribed Aaron Allston to write some heart-rending bits for Tahiri, and then the first chance she got she came to our secret hideout.

    Tahiri: Yeah, we're sorry Jaina. But we figured that your mother would say we were Too Young To Be Married, so we thought we'd Run to the Imperial Remnant.

    Jacen: Run? I've never heard of that song.

    Anakin: It's by Pacifier - a group from the Unknown Regions. You ought to listen to them Jacen - much better than Radiohead.

    Jaina: Why hide out in the Imperial Remnant?

    Anakin: (shrugging) We decided we liked the old enemies better. (He nods his head over to the group of people over the other side of the room. Some of them are still trying to wipe themselves dry.) I mean look at those guys. Look at this place. Have you ever seen a more wretched hive of scum and villainy?

    Jacen: (interrupting Jaina as she goes to speak) Wow! What a Foss!

    Tahiri (looking quizzically at Anakin and then back to Jacen) Don't you mean "what a fuss?"

    Jacen: No - that gorgeous creature over there. She's a Foss. (He moves on to the dance floor towards the creature.)

    Anakin: Really? I thought she was some kind of Disco Duck!

    Jaina: (rolling her eyes) Great - we can count him out of being any further use.

    Anakin: (grinning) Perhaps he'll add her to his collection.

    Tahiri: (squeezing Anakin's thigh) We'd better get this over with, honey. I told Rebadams7 we'd be home in two days, and it's taken us a day and a half already to track down this Moff_D character.

    Jaina: Rebadams7?

    Anakin: Our babysitter. Her daughter's just gone to Humpty Doo, and as she has experience with kids we thought she'd be reliable enough to look after our daughter.

    Jaina: Wow, you two aren't So Young after all are you! So what's the plan?

    Another actinic flash illuminates the viewport. Instead of fading, however, it expands and sends tentacles of flame back against its attacker.

    CeeWulf: Goodness Gracious, Great Balls of Fire! What's happened?

    Moff_D: Dunno! But The Roof, the Roof, the Roof is on Fire!

    Satine, Alman and Tahi: Wow! A Disco Inferno!

    Anakin: (wends his way through the milling dancers and approaches Moff_D) That's what happens when you fire at planets that can fire back, Moff_D!

    Moff_D: But, but . . . planets don't have weapons!

    Anakin: This one does. It's called Zonama Sekot.

    Tahiri: Anakin called it here using the Force. He thought you might like a taste of your own medicine.

    Moff_D: Curses! Foiled again. Sometimes I Can't Get No Satisfaction!

    What will happen next? Will Moff_D get some satisfaction? Will Jacen? Or will they all suck vacuum? We all wait with bated breath!

  12. Moff_D

    Moff_D Jedi Master star 5

    Aug 3, 2002
    Scum and villainy?! Us? [face_devil]
    A daughter?! [face_shocked]
    Wish I had time to add to it but I don't at the moment. :(
  13. DarthKarde

    DarthKarde Jedi Knight star 5

    Jun 28, 2002
    Truely inspirational Moff_D.
  14. Jedi_Knight_Satine

    Jedi_Knight_Satine Jedi Padawan star 4

    May 5, 2002
    The Roof, the Roof, the Roof is on Fire

    We don't need no water let the m********er burn!

    BLOODHOUND GANG [face_laugh]

    Tahi, you crack me up!
  15. Darth Guy

    Darth Guy Chosen One star 10

    Aug 16, 2002
    *sees this thread seriously needs upping*

    *quietly slips away before he is seen by Moff_D*
  16. DarthKarde

    DarthKarde Jedi Knight star 5

    Jun 28, 2002
    You have been spotted Darth_Guy. It's too late to slip away unseen.
  17. Tahi

    Tahi Jedi Knight star 5

    Jun 8, 2002
    Yeah - come on DG - you're the bartender - get Moff_D and me another drink while we create. Any Whyren's Reserve or Bakuran Liqueur?
  18. Moff_D

    Moff_D Jedi Master star 5

    Aug 3, 2002
    Moff D and Anakin stood face to face.
    "Make your move Moff," said Anakin flatly.
    Moff considered his options. He raised his hand, index finger extended, and paused for effect. "Hold that thought." Moff headed back to the table.
    As Moff returned to the table the gathered rabble gave enquiring looks. Moff answered their unspoken question, "It's not good. They're spoilin' for a fight."
    CeeWulf glanced at his watch and gave a sharp whistle. "Whew, look at the time. Busy day tomorrow, I must be going."
    "Sit down," said Karde while placing his hand on CeeWulf's shoulder and forcing him back into his seat. "Look to the entrance, more have arrived," continued Karde as he pointed at Darth Guy, WraithLead and Amidala/Twilight. They made their way over to the table.
    "Hey Wraith, er, WraithLead...whatever you're calling yourself," greeted Alman.
    Wraith started-"You can call me Wraith or you can call me WraithLead or you can call me Lead but you doesn't have to call me--"
    "Enough!" Tahi interrupted. "It wasn't funny the first time you did it Wraith. And who are you today, Amidala/Twilight?"
    "I am Twilight."
    "Oh good," said Moff, "the nutty half. We might need that. Now listen--" Moff stopped as he looked at the door. "Oh perfect! Skywalker and his red-headed chippy! This gets better and better."
    Mara joined the Solos at the bar. Luke approached Jacen who was slow-dancing with Vergere on the floor. "Jacen." said Luke. "JACEN!"
    "Oh, uhhh, sorry Uncle Luke. I was kinda lost in the moment."
    "Right. Let's join the others...bring the bird."
    "Ugh!" exclaimed Darth Guy, "there's that stupid chicken. Man I'd like to--"
    "Yes, we know...well let's get this show on the road." Moff D rose and approached the Solo clan. He stopped and faced Luke squarely. "What's this all about?"
    "You know Moff...the cottage!" Luke said bluntly.
    Wookie fritters! Moff thought to himself. Karde was right. "Ohh that. A misunderstanding, that's all. What's with the planet?"
    Anakin answered this time, "It's a living planet. We thought it might slap your Death Star around a bit since it has a bit of a family connection." Anakin paused for a moment. "I'll say this Moff, you're brave to face us alone."
    "What?!" exclaimed Moff. He looked over his shoulder only to see the gang still at the table. "Uh, one moment..." he chortled and casually backed up to the table.
    "You guys are supposed to be behind me!" Moff whispered harshly under his breath.
    "Ohhhhhh..." was the collective answer. Scraping chair legs and rattled glasses resounded around the disco as the group rose to join him. They approached the Solos as one. "You were saying?" a smug looking Moff asked.
    "Whatever," stated Anakin, "let's do it!"
    Pandemonium was set to break loose just as Moff's yell stopped everybody short-"Hold it!" Moff stood between the two groups, arms extended, palms facing each side. He looked to the Solos, "no Force use, okay? Fair is fair, Jedi."
    Luke replied tersely, "Low blow, Moff...alright, fine, no Force."
    "Listen, listen," interjected Vergere, "you don't have to do this--"
    "Aggghhh!" screamed Darth Guy as he rushed forward, "I've had it with you you stupid bird. I'm gonna--"
    "Hold on there Guy," Moff intercepted, "keep your head."
    "I'm sorry Moff, I can't take anymore of that stupid, ugly bird!"
    "Ugly?--That's it!" Jacen Solo's fist was already in motion, seeking to connect with Moff's head. Moff had enough time to see what was happening and ducked. He looked back over his shoulder to see Jacen's punch connect solidly with Darth Guy's jaw.
    Ohh what pretty colours thought Guy to himself as his world turned upside down. Hmmm, i've never seen the disco ball from this angle was the last thought as he slipped into unconsciousness.
    And then all hell broke loose...

    Is Guy Ok? Does anybody care? Will someone step on Tahiri's bare feet? Will peace be restored to th
  19. Darth Guy

    Darth Guy Chosen One star 10

    Aug 16, 2002
    *slips in quietly and hides behind bar*

    *thinks this needs a social thread in the EUC*

    *feels very sorry for himself*
  20. Moff_D

    Moff_D Jedi Master star 5

    Aug 3, 2002
    Why are you feeling sorry Guy? You should feel wanted! I'm sure many have wanted to punch you in the head. At least this way it's fictional... :p

    Wait-I know! We can start a FAUDG thread: Fans Against Unconscious Darth Guy. Is he awake? Is he asleep? Many will protest!
  21. Tahiri

    Tahiri Jedi Master star 4

    Apr 9, 2001
    Lol, very funny! But I'm not in it :( Oh well, it's fun to read! Write more soon!
  22. Darth Guy

    Darth Guy Chosen One star 10

    Aug 16, 2002
    *rubs jaw, realizes the JC is like The Matrix*

    *Tahiri has the same name as Anakin's girlfriend, much confusion can arise ;) *
  23. Moff_D

    Moff_D Jedi Master star 5

    Aug 3, 2002
    Yeah, nothing personal Tahiri...there's already the 'real' Tahiri and Tahi. Don't worry, you'll get in there somehow.
  24. Tahi

    Tahi Jedi Knight star 5

    Jun 8, 2002
    With an alacrity that was surprising, considering his height, Moff_D managed to extricate himself from the fracas. He remembered fondly the hockey games of his youth. What he wouldn't do to have his trusty hockey stick back in his hand now.

    He gazed into the brawling mass of bodies, trying to locate his friends. To his surprise he saw Tahi lunging fullspeed at Anakin, a look of grim determination, but also scarcely contained excitement in her eyes. With a Xena-like screech she rugby-tackled Anakin to the ground and proceeded to pin him there by sitting on the small of his back and gripping his arms. Nevertheless, it looked as though Anakin's superior strength was going to allow him to wriggle free - or at least it did until Satine happened to land in a bundle of flailing limbs beside them. Quickly Tahi - with her Kiwi ingenuity - grabbed Satine and pulled her down on Anakin as well.

    On the other side of the room, Moff_D caught sight of Alman. He had managed to wrestle Tahiri up against the wall. The brawlers were jostling around too much for Moff_D to get a clear view, but it looked like Alman was whispering something in her ear - or was he nibbling her ear? Moff_D shrugged. <i>Whatever blows your hair back, Alman</i> he thought.
  25. Tahiri

    Tahiri Jedi Master star 4

    Apr 9, 2001
    Curse my screen name 8-}
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