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"Deception of Serenity" *Q/O***FINAL POST* 9/12 Sequel to "Master May I"

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction Stories--Classic JC Board (Reply-Only)' started by ewen, Aug 19, 2002.

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  1. ewen

    ewen Jedi Padawan star 4

    Jun 11, 2001
    ?Deception of Serenity?

    italics:indicates mind speech or thought

    Continuing adventures of Obi-Wan Kenobi Journey to Knighthood.[Master May I]

    Obi-Wan is almost 12 years old now.

    Jinn/Kenobi are sent to find the Head Master of an elite Jedi sect. Their missing leader, Master Boreel is father and master to Padawan Artis Boreel, 15 year-old apprentice extraordinaire. The padawan is very strong in the force.

    The Jedi sect is strict and is run like a well-oiled machine, something Qui-Gon admires and embraces. He must take the kidnapped master?s son under his wing as he searches for his father. He soon finds serenity in the Jedi sect and finds training the boy very calming and enjoyable?!?

    Something seems to be pulling his master to this stange temple life the Telos Jedi sect indulges in. He seems almost hypnotized by its teachings and by Padawan Artis Boreel.

    Hey!!!! What about Obi-Wan? Where does he fit in all this? Does his master want him to train at this weird temple or does he want him there at all??

    This note is especially for my loyal readers but would like everyone to reply.

    Does this one sound like its worth posting??

    Let me know. I can have a long post up tomorrow.

    Thanx again for reading my last story

    PEACE ewen

  2. Wild_Huntress

    Wild_Huntress Jedi Padawan star 4

    Jul 15, 2002
    It sounds interesting. What the hay? FIre away. ;)
  3. Mertroid

    Mertroid Jedi Knight star 5

    Jun 29, 2002
    Fire away captain! It sounds like it's worth posting. Just have some details and descriptions when you post next time! This sounds very interesting with Obi-Wan only 12. Go for it!
  4. sheleigh

    sheleigh Jedi Padawan star 4

    Jan 31, 2002
    Qui-Gon= idiot.

    Post away, Oh great author! :)
  5. PadawanKitara

    PadawanKitara Jedi Master star 5

    Dec 31, 2001
    Of course you should post!!!
  6. ewen

    ewen Jedi Padawan star 4

    Jun 11, 2001
    One more note if you have not read my previous story,?Master May I?. Obi?s mother was a Jedi knight, his father is Darth Sidious. Just thought it might help to know that.

    ****************Deception Of Serenity**************

    Obi-Wan Kenobi, padawan to Master Qui-Gon Jinn had spent the last six weeks recuperating from burns sustained at the Jinn home.

    It had been due to Bruck Chun?s ruthlessness.

    Bruck?s saber had been found lying by the frozen lake but the body was never located.

    Obi would soon turn twelve. He was starting to become strong in the force. Under Jinn's tutelage he had progressed immensely.

    Master Yoda said they would be going on another mission very soon.


    Obi and Jinn were called in front of the temple council.

    ?Mission we have for you.?

    ?On Telos Temple of Jedi breakaways there are. Different from us but yet the same. Master of that temple kidnapped he has been. Mission it is to find him. Also two fold reason for going. Take over temple you will and run it while he is away. His son, Padawan Artis Boreel is his father?s padawan. Help you he will. Guide him you also will.?

    ?Master I can only have one padawan. I have Obi-Wan I need to focus on.?

    ?Train him you will Master Jinn. Your padawan he will not be. Have Obi we know you do. Boy strong in force as equal to Obi-Wan. Train two at same time you will also. Manage the temple and seek Master Boreel?s return. Much to do I think. Obi-Wan stay out of trouble he should.?

    Do you think he means I seek trouble master?

    I think he means you are mischievous Obi and on this trip it will require our utmost attention. Stay focused.

    Yoda was listening in on their conversation.

    ?Humph...Know very well what I meant both of you do. Mock me you will not. Out of trouble you stay padawan Obi. See to it Jinn he does. Matter of great importance this is. Master Borreel runs a sect of 50 padawans and masters. Need their help we will with the rising power and increased army of the sith lord. Offend other Jedi sect you will not.?

    Qui and Obi bowed to the council. They accepted but did not want this mission.

    Jinn felt that the attention that would have to be given in the care of another child, be it another padawan or not, might be too stressful for Obi-Wan. He had proven once before that ?he did not like to share his master?.

    They turned to leave the council chambers.

    ?Master Jinn.?

    It was the voice of his friend Mace Windu.

    ?I think maybe Master Yoda intentionally neglected to tell you that all the indications lead us to believe Darth Sidious is involved in this kidnapping of Master Boreel..."

    ***Master and apprentice arrive at the other Jedi temple, the Temple of Telos as it was called.******

    Obi-Wan took a instant dislike for this temple of the"Jedi of Telos?. This highly strict structured Jedi sect lived in a drab little dwelling not much bigger than a large home. There were no great halls, no council chambers, none was needed. It was ruled solely by one Master. Master Boreel and believe it or not the second in command was his 15-year-old son Artis. Master Boreel had insisted long ago that his son was the only one he truly trusted. Obi thought he sounded a little paranoid.. Even the other masters took orders from this high-ranking padawan.

    Obi could not help but notice that the padawans of this order walked with their eyes straight ahead with very little communication. There was no rec room for holovids or games. The temple itself seemed barren of humanity. There seemed to be no personality behind these walls. One padawan was just like the other.

    Before him stood a boy not much older than he.

    ?Master Jinn how nice of you to come. This must be your apprentice Obi-Wan Kenobi. Am I right??

    This kid lays it on thick!


    Sorry master.

    Lets at least go into to this with an open mind, shall we?

    Obi did not have time to answer his master?s mind thought. The
  7. Cascadia

    Cascadia Jedi Padawan star 4

    Apr 15, 2002
    Jinn's already suckered in, it sounds like. Obi's being the cautious one here.

    Sounds like an interesting mission, ewen. Post again. :)
  8. Jenny_The_Jedi_Girl

    Jenny_The_Jedi_Girl Jedi Padawan star 4

    Jul 16, 2001
    hehehe oh boy i can see i'm not going to like quigon again already (sighs)
  9. sheleigh

    sheleigh Jedi Padawan star 4

    Jan 31, 2002
    I don't know if it's a matter of not liking Qui-Gon... I think he has been tricked by Padawan Artis.

    Padawan Artis who I have already come to despise!

    Hmm... can't wait to see what happens, ewen! :)
  10. Cascadia

    Cascadia Jedi Padawan star 4

    Apr 15, 2002
    I think you're right, sheleigh. Qui couldn't possibly be that stupid, could he? WAIT! I take that back before a horde of Qui-haters jump in to answer. 8-}
  11. sheleigh

    sheleigh Jedi Padawan star 4

    Jan 31, 2002
    [yoda]Rely on Qui-Gon's intelligence you should not. Stupid, he can be. [/yoda]


    I still think Artis is doing something... maybe... he is Sidious in disguise. (wow, that sounds lame, even to me. ;) )
  12. Cascadia

    Cascadia Jedi Padawan star 4

    Apr 15, 2002
    Artis = Sidious?

    Well, maybe. [face_mischief] Or maybe Sidi's influencing him. Ooooo, we'll have this figured out before ewen gets the next part up!

    Either that, or we'll be so far off that ewen will laugh us off of this thread for being so stupid. 8-}
  13. sheleigh

    sheleigh Jedi Padawan star 4

    Jan 31, 2002
    Sidious has managed to influence other people. (example- the whole republic, the jedi order.)

    Who's to say he can't influence some measly snotty Padawan who people hate. The Masters taking orders from him?

    I don't like Artis! :mad:... I have a feeling I'm going to want to strangle him by the end of this work. :)

    something tells me we're more likely to get laughed off the thread, Cascadia! 8-}
  14. Jenny_The_Jedi_Girl

    Jenny_The_Jedi_Girl Jedi Padawan star 4

    Jul 16, 2001
    True true, but hehehe i love quigon i'm not a quigon hater, but it just makes me mad when he starts treating obiwan unfair like, :mad: 8-} [face_devil]
  15. jedi7

    jedi7 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Jan 8, 2002
    Hmmmmmm... very interesting ewen, will you reveal what is in that tea, will we find out why the Padawans are acting like stepford children, and will Obi get to knock that pompous Artis down a notch, oops not very jedi like [face_devil] 7
  16. Aunecah_Skywalker

    Aunecah_Skywalker Jedi Knight star 5

    Mar 25, 2002
    What's this????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I've been gone for just three days, and you already have a sequel!?!?!?!?!

    [hl=blue] Aunecah_Skywalker [/hl]
  17. shanobi

    shanobi Jedi Padawan star 4

    Dec 11, 2001
    Very promising start ewen :)

    I like how Obi stood up for himself and how Qui stood up for his padawan. They do seem to be closer now.

    Padawan Artis is a real piece of work. Why do I have a feeling Obi will end up teaching Qui a lesson in this one?

    I'm looking forward to more soon :)
  18. ewen

    ewen Jedi Padawan star 4

    Jun 11, 2001
    italics: indicate mind speech or thought

    Padawan Artis executed the fifth kata with graceful precision. Obi thought he was ?phenomenal?. That?s the only way he could fairly describe Padawan Artis as he sailed through katas? four and five on his first try with immaculate grace. His moves were clean and swift. If it required a mid-air jump, then Artis executed it with the highest most eloquent jump Obi had ever witnessed. Evidently his master had never witnessed such grace and speed at learning because he stood awe-struck as he watched the performance of Padawan Artis.

    In the saber practice that Jinn had both boys participate in, Artis proved to be a worthy opponent. He was no less accomplished in the art of saber techniques than he had been in the katas. Obi yielded twice to the boy before his master halted the practice of Obi and Artis and elected to duel with Artis himself. He thought Obi was not giving the boy much of a challenge. In truth he was right, because Jinn had a hard time getting the padawan to yield, but finally yield he did to his master?s own ?phenomenal? abilities with the saber.

    Without forethought Master Jinn mumbled out loud.

    ?If only it were so easy to train most padawans.?

    He had not meant for Obi to take it the wrong way. Although Obi hid it from his master, he was crestfallen by the remark. It had been that particular kata, the fifth, which had been a thorn in Obi?s side. It took him over two weeks to master it and this padawan had successfully completed it in ten minutes.

    Obi hid his admiration and disgust for Artis. You could not separate the two.

    He admired his abilities but felt disgusted that the boy was so much better than he was.

    Obi thought his master must now see how clumsy he was, in comparison to this ?Super Padawan?.

    The Great Bruck Chun would have not been able to best this one, even at the height of his ?glory? padawan days at the temple.

    Obi let his mind wonder just a bit back to the last confrontation he had with Chun. He in a way felt sorry for Bruck. He felt sorry that Bruck could not return to the light side of the force and change his ways before he died. Well if he did die. Even that was not a certainty when it came to Bruck.

    Obi centered his own thoughts in the here and now. Master Yoda and Master Jinn, on numerous occasions had brandished the young padawan about staying in the future. They said he should not ?linger? in the past or ?wander? to the future.

    Obi thoughts of self-worth was brought out after he witnessed the other padawan?s finely honed abilities in the use of the saber and doing the katas put before him by Master Qui-Gon. At home at the temple on Courscant, Obi-Wan was the best in his class in saber techniques and katas. But his abilities in both seemed thwarted by Artis Boreel?s keen finesse of the katas. Obi could not imagine how good he could be with a light saber in hand in an actual battle.

    That evening all Obi heard was praise for the padawan of Telos. Well of course he had to sit through another chorus of ?how? great this temple was.?

    He grew tired of the praise Jinn was lavishing on the other boy and claimed to be tired.

    Jinn finally relented and let the boy go to bed. Obi found sleep hard to come by. He kept thinking how much his master deserved a padawan as intelligent and graceful as this boy was.

    Look at him. Artis is even running the entire temple and he is only fifteen!!! I?m still into holovids, computer games, and bubblegum.

    As he lay there in darkness, Obi shook his head to himself and kept thinking.

    Maybe if we don?t find his dad and he is willing, Master will want to take him to our temple. Maybe even find him a master.

    Obi fell asleep with the terrible thought that maybe Artis Boreel would want his master either to stay here and help him run this temple or return with them and study at the more advance and better equipped temple of Coruscant..

  19. Wild_Huntress

    Wild_Huntress Jedi Padawan star 4

    Jul 15, 2002
    Lovely start Ewen. Great interraction between the characters, and you've created a fabulous little antagonist in Padawan Artis. Looking forward to more!
  20. sheleigh

    sheleigh Jedi Padawan star 4

    Jan 31, 2002
    Obi-Wan isn't the one that is wrong- it is Qui-Gon darn it!

    Doesn't the man bet tired of hurting his Padawan! YEEESH!

    Excellent again, ewen! :)
  21. Cascadia

    Cascadia Jedi Padawan star 4

    Apr 15, 2002
    Uh-huh.... That tea, like somebody mentioned earlier, is starting to sound suspicious to me.

    Qui's being drugged by Artis, and Artis is in league with Sidious. Sounds logical.
  22. ewen

    ewen Jedi Padawan star 4

    Jun 11, 2001
    Cascadia is your last name "Holmes"?

    Like in Sherlock Holmes.

    Obi needs you in this story.

    I'm sure you wouldn't mind if he was your sidekick, Watson.

    Holmes/Watson, good mystery solving team or maybe:

    Cascadia/Obi mystery team

    Sound better???

    PEACE ewen

  23. Cascadia

    Cascadia Jedi Padawan star 4

    Apr 15, 2002
    Holmes, my last name is not. But of course I'd love for Obi to be my sidekick. I couldn't think of a better one. :D
  24. Jenny_The_Jedi_Girl

    Jenny_The_Jedi_Girl Jedi Padawan star 4

    Jul 16, 2001
  25. ewen

    ewen Jedi Padawan star 4

    Jun 11, 2001

    Once back at the temple of Telos Obi was immediately handed a list of chores to do. Obi thought that if he completed them he would be lucky to be in bed by midnight.

    It was some unnamed master who handed the list too Obi but not a word was uttered from him. He did not introduce himself, or offer a salutation.

    Obi left to do his chores and of course Master Jinn went off with Padawan Artis on the pretext that the padawan was going to show Master Jinn to his office where he would take control of the temple and with Artis? help see that it was kept running efficiently.

    Obi sucked in a long breath of air and headed for his first chore, cleaning the saber practice room and the shower adjacent to it.

    What fun!!! Obi thought.

    Last-meal was a courteous one with Jinn hardly acknowledging that Obi was there. Of course Artis had a freshly brewed pot of tea readied for Master Jinn.

    He must think Master lives on the stuff.

    As Obi suspected his master forewent the tea for water. It was a ritual with him. Last-meal was always accompanied with lots of water.Qui-Gon said it cleansed the body.

    Jinn excused Obi to go do his academic studies. He said he wanted to go over some more advanced saber techniques and Obi would just be wasting his time if he went with them. Jinn felt they were too hard for Obi to complete at this stage of his training. The master in no way said it as a rebuke, just a point of fact.

    Obi went to do as he was told. Before he studied, he indulged himself in meditations. He got the feeling they were going to be an integral part of his life while staying at this temple. He harbored so much ill will toward Artis right now he did not think a day?s meditation would correct his problem, but he truly was going to try.

    Meditations completed and academic work done, Obi decided to go see how Artis' saber class with his master was going.

    He walked in the practice room and found his master and Artis talking and laughing. They were not even engaged in saber practice. Master Jinn almost seemed embarrassed at being caught by his padawan, not doing what he said. Instead he deemed to be enjoying the other padawan?s company way too much for Obi?s comfort.

    ?Padawan we just finished up.?

    Jinn seemed to feel he had to justify his being with this other one.

    ?I take it you have completed you assignments??

    ?Yes, master.?

    ?I hope they done to my satisfaction.?

    Jinn was grabbing at words, making conversation to keep Obi?s thoughts off of he and Artis.

    It was at that time the same unnamed master who brought Obi his list of chores brought in yet again another pot of tea.

    Artis made quick haste to pour Master Jinn a steaming cup. He checked his watch before he handed Master Jinn the steaming cup of hot liquid.

    ?There Master Jinn. I suppose you need this after the workout we just had.?

    Artis looked and Obi and gave him a self-satisfied smile.

    Jinn set the tea down.
    ?I don?t think I could drink another cup. You are worse than Master Yoda drinking so much tea. I do think I need something cold to drink. You my boy have worn me out.?

    My boy! What does he mean my boy? I am his boy. I am by right his padawan, his only padawan.

    Obi was furious at the words, but then again he sought and recieved solace through the force. Qui-Gon was becoming a very difficult master on this mission.

    Artis wanted to be more insistent that Master Jinn drink his tea but after glancing at Obi and watching a suspicious glare form on the boy?s face he thought better of it.

    ?Here Obi you drink it. It does smell good.?

    Master Jinn started to hand Obi his tea.

    Artis quickly jerked the tea from Qui-Gon and set it down. The hot tea slouched out of the ream of the cup almost burning both of them.

    ?I?m sure Obi wouldn?t care for this tea. Its rich strong flavor is not usually enjoyed by the children.?

    Bite you tongue Obi. Don?t bring disrespect to your master by saying something you will be sorry for. What is it wit
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