JCC Defending Your Home: Practical Considerations

With a family of four (including myself) to protect, I finally need to start getting serious about defending my home from intruders. For those of you who have thought this through, maybe you could give me some pointers.

What I've done so far is locks for my front door and back door, locks for my windows, and an alarm system. Actually I didn't do the locks myself. They were already installed when I bought the place. So, really I haven't done much except the security system, and I only did that because the door-to-door saleswoman seemed so nice and was kind of cute.

Some specific questions:

1) are there any legal ways to kill an intruder who breaks and enters my home when no one is there?

2) in the event of someone knocking on the door with the intent to gain entry under false pretenses for the purpose of murder/rape/robbery, does it make sense always to answer the door with a loaded gun in hand and pointed at the potential murderer, or is it ok to simply keep a sidearm holstered when answering the door? Or is it best if I answer the door unarmed and have the wife or one of the children stationed to the side with their weapons trained on the door?

3) how do you divide up armed sentry duty among your family members? Do your children do the night shift on school nights, or only on weekends?

thanks in advance for the help. I look forward to your responses.

 

A cleverly-placed banana peel at the top of a staircase. If one has children, a toy car may also suffice.

 

DIY home surveillance has become a lot easier and more convenient in recent years. If it's possible for half the people I know to be able to remotely adjust the thermostat, or turn the lights on or off from their iPads, then it shouldn't be such a stretch to rig up some kind of machine gun turrets that can be activated, aimed, and utilized remotely as well.

 

1. If your answering the door all the time with a loaded gun, you need to move out of that neighborhood.
2. Get a door hole window thingy to view the people from the inside, so you can see who they are and what they look like and what they have on

 

sentry gun

 

I looked into installing a moat, but it turns out they're against the HOA rules.

 

What about something like a trap door on the front porch that opens up onto a spiked pit filled with venomous snakes?

otoh, I don't want something that will injure the innocent. If it kills the neighbor girls when they come around to collect for girl scout cookies, my son will get upset.

 

Yes, this is key. It's best to see the "I am here to rape your wife and kill your children" t-shirt before you open the door. Once you see the t-shirt, you know to go and grab your machine gun.

Also, you should get a lion.

 

That's it! I'm sure my neighborhood HOA never even thought of prohibiting killer rabbits in the rules.

 

i think arlon just means you can check if they're white or not

 

I'm thinking about that Orkin man who killed the doctor and set her on fire. She probably just let him into the house.

So another question: if I want to point my loaded gun at a plumber or electrician who enters my house to fix something, what's considered courteous and respectful but also safe in terms of how much distance I should keep between myself and the repairman?

 

get a track gun like that neil mcdonough on Justified. then you can just ambush their asses if they get shifty

actually that character kind of reminds me of you jabba

 

Can you wire the mains up to the door handle?

 

Machine gun turrets? Wtf is wrong with you people?

I wanted to be the first to post that idea... ;_;

 

What ethnicity are they?

 

I've never seen that show but I'm confident you meant that as a compliment.

 

Drawbridge, Portcullis and murder holes for hot oil. Put these in the porch and your halfway there.

 

yes. neil mcdonough owns

watch the show tho so you can find out

 

Exactly! My home is my castle, dammit. And that means murder holes.

 

Have you considered a tiger or lion or maybe a hippo to guard the house?

 

No, you cannot legally kill an intruder if you are not home. Deadly force is only authorized if a life or extreme physical harm is threatened.

Your other question was regarding the plumber/electrician/etc. Just get someone from Angie's list, then you won't have any problems. Or take a do-it-yourselfer's course and avoid having to hire strangers in the first place.

You could also post the following sign: NO Trespassing. Violators will be shot. Women and children will be winged, men will be gut shot. Survivors will be prosecuted.

My neighbor in Arizona had that posted in his yard. Nobody bothered him. Of course, he had to go to the post office to pick up his mail 'cause the mailman wouldn't deliver mail to his house.

 

You need that fatherly neighbor with the shotgun from the gun control thread - problem solved.

 

what if you just have like a net that falls on intruders so that you can kill them when you get home?