Senate Derp, DERP. Derpitimus Maximus. Derpity deeeeeeerp...

Internet pastor,check. Use of a false story, check. Talking fast while lamenting about the evil gay agenda, check. Gun, check.

Article and video of a dude who explains the reason why people need to never vote GOP again

 

Oh looky, late night nonsense.



As someone explains in the comments, the actual equivalent would be if you go to a gay run bakery and ask them to make a cake for a straight wedding, not the trolling nonsense he is trying to pull here.

 

Yikes.I think this church is trying to transition into an all-out cult.

 

Fox news, Twerking is evil, Duck Dynasty, gays are evil, "Chick fil A is Jesus", war on Christianity, Dukes Of Hazzard, 'we will not be silenced!flargablargabababagarforfar!'

 

Church debt

She didn't tithe so they sent her a "$1,000 or else" bill.

“I love my church and my pastor,” said member Bonnie Maxwell. “I know people have their opinions regarding the letter that was sent out to this young lady and put over social media. I don’t understand why so much negativity about paying a monthly assessment of $50 a month, that you already knew about. If you go to a club or a bar whatever you wish to call it every weekend, you are paying about $10 or maybe more to get in the door and then paying again for drinks.”

READY?

“As Christians we are required to be obedient,” Maxwell added.

 

But - but they get salvation.

Or so they are supposed to think, I think.

 

They promise you heaven so that they can steal the world.

 

^

When my step-grandmother died, my grandfather told the minister they had discussed how neither wanted a service (they lived in a Lutheran retirement community). The minister told Grandpa that his wife wouldn't go to Heaven if he didn't hold a service (with payment to the minister for presiding). (Do note I may have a minor detail wrong, but it was extortion IMHO).

Our entire family was united and would have stood behind Grandpa if he'd told that minister to go to hell. Still wish he'd had done so.

 

It's been a very successful tax-free scam for quite some time.

Wish I'd thought of it.

 

This is one of those horrid items where I had to make sure that Poe's Law was not at work

So. Gay marriage. So now we will teach kids in kindergarten to engage in anal sex. VIDEO.



There very definition of this thread hard at work. Derp.

 

The drought in California! Abortions! The deal with Iran! The end in nigh!

“What God said is that blood itself had a life,” Kilpatrick told Bakker. “So whenever a doctor aborts a baby and that blood is being flushed down the commode, God hears the voice of that baby going down that commode, saying, ‘Help! Forgive Lord! Forgive them! Forgive my mother!'”
Kilpatrick pointed out that the Bible said that “the land is full of sexual sin” like homosexuality.
“We’re breaking covenant,” Kilpatrick continued. “But not only are we breaking covenant now, but this [same-sex marriage] law has just come down from the Supreme Court. You’ve got the blood moons coming up… all this stuff is dovetailing and coming together right now.”
“We are negotiating this minute while we are sitting here with Iran,” Bakker lamented. “We’re making covenant with Iran, who have vowed — vowed — to destroy Israel.”
“We’re not going to be able talk like this on the air much longer,” the pastor said. “We have broken covenant with Israel and made covenant Israel’s number one enemy.”

 

Ah, Friday after work. Let's hit the web and see wHHHAT THE **** is this?!

ELECTED OFFICIAL SAYS: We're here as emissaries for Christ

ELECTED OFFICIAL SAYS: The Separation of church and state is not an American idea it is a communist idea

FORMERLY ELECTED OFFICAL RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT SAYS: jesus camp is for turning 1,000 pastors into politicians

OH **** never mind that the actual people who actually founded the actual ******* country said the complete opposite.

 

Skeptical about that Ken Ham Ark? Well, he is answering those questions.

With such gems as...

...We also receive comments and questions from well-meaning Christians, many who have been unwittingly secularized on some topics related to Noah’s Ark and the Flood.

...I’ve realized that even many Christians (most of them unwittingly) have adopted an evolutionary view of man’s intelligence and achievements over the millennia.

...Who knows what remarkable things were created by geniuses when Noah was building the great Ark? And with people living so long before the Flood, there would have been an incredible increase in knowledge. Imagine people like Alexander Graham Bell, Isaac Newton, Albert Einstein, and others living for hundreds of years and what they may have achieved!

...It’s very possible that Noah had technology that would have astounded us (and we would have envied)! And for those scoffers who say that if Noah had such technology we would find evidence of it, they need to understand the sheer destructive processes of the global Flood.



That's from a book called Dinosaurs Of Eden by Ham.

 

Hahaha. No, just no.

 

The Ancient Aliens theory that Noah's Ark was a DNA vault akin to the Svalbard Seed Vault makes more sense than that....stuff.

 

THERE'S BEEN NO PROOF OF ANY OF THAT

 

Apparently he is just as skilled in the areas of artistic perspective and scale as he is in matters of science! What a renaissance man!

 

Bernie Sanders is a Nazi

In the Bernieverse, there’s a whole lot of nationalism mixed up in the socialism. He is, in fact, leading a national-socialist movement, which is a queasy and uncomfortable thing to write about a man who is the son of Jewish immigrants from Poland and whose family was murdered in the Holocaust. But there is no other way to characterize his views and his politics.

is. Well. I wonder how slanted this National Review is. Perhaps this is just a one time thing from this one writer?

Current headlines

Is the Iran deal the biggest political blunder of all time?

The Iran deal appeases the greatest evil of our time.

All the President's (straw) Men.

The Butchers of Planned Parenthood.

We interrupt our regular trump programming to announce America's surrender to Iran and global governance.

 

Ok, kids. Prepare yourself. I have right here..............NON-right wing derp. That's right! Those who oppose Fox news ****** up! Ready?

"Why aren't we clearing the waters of sharks so swimming is safe?"

To hit that headline makes it look like the Fox host is saying we should get rid of sharks so we can go in the water. but that is not what he says. He is wondering of the area of a competition can be cleared but he laments that it does appear so. I just watched an MSNBC segment that went into a lecture about sharks and the food chain and how we are mucking up the ocean and over-fishing and all that may be true, but it has nothing to do with what Kilmeade is suggesting.

You do not have to become them to combat them No spin needed. BAD RAWSTORY. BAD!.

 

Just more uninformed people lamenting how dangerous and how much of a nuisance sharks can be, while ignoring the fact that we're going into THEIR habitat.

 

Minions are an Illuminati conspiracy!

 

I had to look to see if this was a satire site. It's not.