Senate Derp, DERP. Derpitimus Maximus. Derpity deeeeeeerp...

Mayor Patrick Rushing

The mayor of a small city in Washington reportedly admitted that he called President Barack Obama “monkey man” and first lady Michelle Obama “gorilla face,” but says he will not resign over the racist comments.
“Gorilla face Michelle, can’t disagree with that,” Patrick Rushing, mayor of Airway Heights, reportedly wrote in a Facebook post. “The woman is not attractive except to monkey man Barack. Check out them ears. LOL.”
“I made a mistake. I owned up to my mistake,” Rushing told the Spokesman-Review. “If I do resign that’s admitting I’m a racist and I’m not.”

 

Update

The governor, a Republican, vetoed it.

 

And his GOP senate colleagues are already trunk to set up an override vote.

Go figure.

 

Aw, your precious NFL of manliness doesn't agree with you.

---------------------

Trans? Gay? you need mental health for unhealthy sexual addiction

All his ex-gay friends said so.

 

*sigh* I was hoping this was just an April Fools thing.

First it starts with an Easter Egg hunt, then it leads to:

So, the poor, intimidated little Muslim parents went to the press, complaining that their childrens’ virgin eyes falling upon these horrid, blasphemous Easter flyers was somehow a form of religious persecution that naturally violates the Constitution.

Clever, aren’t they? Well, that’s how it starts. Give it a decade or two, and Muslims in America will have earned the right to Shariah courts, to rape non-Muslim women at will, to kidnap non-Muslim children for use as sex slaves and to behead American servicemen in broad daylight, just as they have in Britain, Europe and Scandinavia.

 

Usually the derp is on hold for the weekend. Not this time.

Colorado GOP talking about fracking and earthquakes

There have been earthquakes long before we ever did fracking. Let’s be honest. You know God is kind of in control of those. And not by us drilling down in the ground and doing the fracking.

 

Megyn Kelly says Fox news has no right wing bias but other news channels have a left wing bias

That's the joke.

 

Pass a law for a group of people who are not being discriminated against but allows them to discriminate against others all they want

Mrs Sippi. Yeah that state. Don't like that gaywad in your store? Now you can tell 'em to leave because God!

 

One of the best ways to determine if a site is satire is to google the headline. Yep, this isn't satire. See that ^ last post? About discriminating against gays? It's not just that:

Mississippi interracial couple evicted

When the landlord phoned Mrs. Dunahoo to tell her and her husband to “get out,” he had no problem giving her his, his Christian church’s, and the community’s reason why they had to go. Baker said,
“Hey, you didn’t tell me you was married to no (sic) black man. It’s a big problem with the members of my church, my community and my family. They don’t allow that black and white shacking.”
Mrs. Dunahoo responded that she was not “shacking” with her “husband” because they are legally married. Still, the landlord was unmoved and insisted that he, his church, his neighbors and his family consider that any interracial couple, legally married or not, ”is still black and white shacking;” something those good Mississippi Christian folk “don’t allow.”

But it's ok 'cuz religion trumps everything. Right?

 

Oh FFS.

 

Did you know the first practical electric typewriter was designed in Wisconsin? Did you know it's the dairy capital of America and produces more milk than any other state?

Did you know their new Supreme Court Justice is evil?

“Perhaps AIDS Awareness [a campus group] should seek to educate us with their misdirected compassion for the degenerates who basically commit suicide through their behavior.”
“One will be better off contracting AIDS than developing cancer, because those afflicted with the politically-correct disease will be getting all of the funding. How sad that the lives of degenerate drug addicts and queers are valued more than the innocent victims of more prevalent ailments.”
“The homosexuals and drug addicts who do essentially kill themselves and others through their own behavior deservedly receive none of my sympathy.”
“Why is a student government on a Catholic campus attempting to bring legitimacy to an abnormal sexual preference?”
“Heterosexual sex is very healthy in a loving marital relationship. Homosexual sex, however, kills.”


And abortion is the Holocaust and women are at fault for date rape. She's a winner!

And in rewriting history news:

Not following Jesus that closely? That's ok because Glenn Beck says Since the founding Fathers wove the Bible into the Constitution all you have to do is follow the Consitution

the founders used the Bible as the compass to enact the laws of the Constitution. The laws, the amendments are all based on natural law and God’s law. So, our politicians, all they need to do is use the Constitution as their compass and they’ll be in line with nature’s God and nature’s laws.“

 

Sometimes you read the headline and think it's satire, and still think so when you starting reading the article. But then there's video, and then I recall that beck is a con man. So.

A reconstructed arch in Times Square will open a prortal to Baal

Baal is a god of the Canaanites. In Canaanite mythology he was the “Cloud Rider, the weather god who rode across the heavens daily in his chariot, governing wind and weather.”[1] He was known to the Canaanites as Baal Zephon (Baal of the North) and to the Hebrews as Baal of Hazor, Baal of Hermon, Baal of Meon, Baal of Peor, Baal of Tamar.[2] Baal is also the storm god, who lives on Jebel Aqra (ancient Sapuna), where, gifted by the gods, he has “a palace of blue lapis and silver which they brought down from the clouds”[3]




Here's his AD&D stats:

 

***** about to get real

Things are getting serious in North Carolina. Porn giant XHamster is now refusing service to anyone with a North Carolina IP address to protest the state’s new anti-LGBT law.
HuffPost reports XHamster.com has been refusing to serve anyone from North Carolina since 12:30 p.m. EDT, Monday.
In a statement issued earlier today, XHamster.com spokesman Mike Kulich said the website believes in equality for everyone, and rejects the North Carolina’s new discriminatory law:

We are appalled by the recent events that have transpired in North Carolina. We have spent the last 50 years fighting for equality for everyone and these laws are discriminatory which XHamster.com does not tolerate. As of today, access to XHamster.com is blacked out in the state of North Carolina until further notice. Judging by the stats of what you North Carolinians watch, we feel this punishment is a severe one. We will not standby and pump revenue into a system that promotes this type of garbage. We respect all sexualities and embrace them.​

 

Thought I'd make it before the edit time was up.

Ask yourself. Can you name paths to Satan? Arcane human sacrifice to summon the master of evil? Revoking God via blasphemy? Strangling puppies in front of babies then eating babies?

Nope. It's dildos.

“Too many Christian women are losing their salvation because they masturbate,” Mack wrote on the Eden Decoded Facebook page. “Dildos and all of those other sex toys have been used for thousands of years in demonic sex rituals. It’s one of the main ways ancient pagan societies worshiped their demonic gods.”

“Masturbation is a direct path to Satan,” he added. “There’s nothing normal about it. And shame on any Christian that says so.”
On the Eden Decoded website, Mack urged readers not to be “ignorant of Satan’s devices.” And he suggested that the ancient city of Pompeii was destroyed because it was “completely engulfed in a culture of pornography, homosexuality, wild orgies and the worship of the little god with the huge member known as Priapus.”
“Many of you who are reading this have sex toys in your possession right now,” he noted. “And whether you want to accept it as fact or not: those sex toys are an open portal between the demonic realm and your own life.”
“As long as you have those sex toys in your home, you have a doorway that can allow demons to not only access your life at will, but also to torment you, hinder and destroy certain parts of your life as it relates to sex and your relationships.”

 

So xhamster is banning access to NC residents... yes I know there's other porn sites but GEEZ WHY MY STATE?

LORD TAKE ME NOW.

 

Animals in Disney movies? PAGAN GODS!

"If you look back at the time of the Bible, a lot of the idols back then were actually animals," Barton said. "Dagon was the fish God."
Barton claimed that America never had any sort of animal rights movement until this nation got away from the Bible and Disney started producing movies like "Bambi" and "Lady and the Tramp," in which animals were presented as human surrogates.
"The Bible tells us that you are to be kind to your animals," he stated, "but you don't worship your animals, you don't make a Dagon god out of them and that's what we've now done."





Ok now ready? Wait for it....wait for it....









Wait for it....












It's Dagon! Fish god! Damn you, Disney!

 

Apparently I'm a terrorist

Why is advocating atheism in Saudi Arabia now considered to be a terrorist offence?​

An evasive Ambassador Al-Mouallimi replies in part:

Somebody who says that and calls for it publicly is subversive and could possibly be a terrorist.
We are a unique country. […] We are a country that is homogenous in accepting Islam by the entire population. Any calls that challenge Islamic rule or Islamic ideology is considered subversive in Saudi Arabia and would be subversive and could lead to chaos.​

 

So Dory is a false deity?

 

Buttholes? Check. Fire? Check. Buttholes? Check. Cancer? Check. Buttholes? Check. Did I mention buttholes? This guy does. Like, a lot.

 

Oh looky, it's Stonehenge! Sitting in Wiltshire England it is something over 4,000 years old. Say, do you know who built it?


SATANIC GIANTS!



Please don't forget that these people vote. No not the giants, the preachers.

 

What is this? Did you literally just link to a random Youtube video? I sort of get it when you at least complain about public officials or policies. But what is the point of complaining about random private citizens? Is anyone really disputing the notion that there are weird individuals on Earth? Is there any reason we should care?

 

Oh no, this fellow has been mentioned here a few times. This is the fellow who says Stabuck's puts semen in their coffee. Specifically semen from sodomites. This will help Behold the Sodomite Slayer and his conspiracies! Supreme Court and gay marriage? Blackmailed by gays.

 

"Once again, the government is getting into the underpants of our children."

And girls – well, don’t get me started. A little girl can never want to be a housewife (possibly the most loathed profession in the country, with the arguable exception of IRS employees). She must want to be a firefighter, or a lawyer, or a doctor, or an engineer, or a soldier. (Well, maybe not a soldier. Today’s social justice warriors frown on anyone being a soldier.) She is urged to “empower” herself at a young age by “exploring” her sexuality.

Our government is actively encouraging children to be uncomfortable with their biological gender. If they’re not being led down the primrose path of “fluidity,” they’re actively discouraged from acting like normal boys or girls. Needless to say, this influences their ability to assume traditional biological roles. Men will no longer feel the urge to protect and defend, either women or our nation. Women will no longer feel the urge to nurture and protect, either children or home and hearth. -

So this is what you get for trying to stop people's right to deny non-white, non-Christian, and non-straight people basic goods and services. 'Muricans must not be serious about their guns or else they'd do something about this.

 

You may have seen this. If not watch now.



WELL. Pat Boone is none to happy!!

God has a sense of humor. Why else would he invent the porcupine and the giraffe? Something can be devilishly funny, but this skit is diabolical. God has only one real enemy — Satan. Satan ridicules faith, and they’re taking Satan’s side. They’re also ridiculing me and the film, telling impressionable young people not to see it because it's ridiculous. Then they throw in that the lawyer is Jewish to make the Christian look even worse, but it’s just anti-Semitic...
This skit was outright sacrilege. They know if they did this to Muslims they’d have to be put into the witness protection program. There’s nothing sacred at SNL — except maybe the words ‘Mohammad’ or ‘Allah.’ They’d never take those names in vain, but when they called God a ‘boob man,’ they took his name in vain...
As much as I’ve enjoyed SNL, they went over the line, and believers in God deserve an apology.

You know, maybe there is a God and maybe He does have a sense of humor. Here's evidence:

 

CIVIL WAR!!

I have said it before and I’ll say it again, if Hillary Clinton is chosen by the establishment to take Obama’s place, the result would probably be outright civil war in the U.S.

With a Trump win, I could also see at the very least nationwide riots similar in tone to those that occurred in Ferguson, Missouri, with the social justice cultists running wild with their goofy slogans and molotov cocktails.


So here is their disclaimer:

If Trump responds to rioting using unconstitutional measures or exploits the crisis to overstep the bounds of federal power, at that point we will know exactly who he works for.

Read that. It means "we wanna shoot stuff and if the new President intervenes that means he's working for the bad guys waaaaaaaaaa!"