Before - Legends Descent Into The Dark (EU, Yoda 300 years before TPM)--*Complete* Replies 7/31- Link to EotD posted!

*peers around sheepishly*

Yes, I know, before you start, long time no see! *sighs at self* What I would give for it to be summer again and to have more free time... but alas. Anyway, I've finally caught up, and it's as suspensful and lovely as usual! You've got me dancing from foot to foot, SW, as I wait for the next part. Rizza and Yoda duking it out! *cheers for Yoda* I love his line about how Rizza won't be the one to kill him, and every other minute of this for that matter. Your writing is flawless, the characters engaging, and I just can't wait for you to update. Hopefully you'll have a better time battling DRL than I am, and update soon!

Stormqueen

 

Whoopise daisy, only when replying to the vignettes that I thought ?hang on, there?is?a?nother?Soun?der?wan?sto?ry!? Even the kind mention in the thread on replies hadn?t jarred my memory.

Yoda?s deciphering of the battle station plans and the efficiency of his sabotage is impressive. I liked this sequence because it showed why Kaine is so valuable. He doesn?t have the power in the Force, he can be defeated in a lightsaber battle, he suffers from fear when dealing with those that could kill him on a whim (which seems a sensible survival adaptation rather than a flaw), but give him an engineering crisis and he?s in his element.

No panic, just a swift assessment of the extent of the damage and what the implications are. Even while making that assessment he realises who must have dealt with the gravity problems and to realise the implications of Rizza?s actions.

Liked Rizza laughing in Yoda?s face. He makes his dramatic statement and then she just makes it clear she thinks he is a silly bugger. Not sure if it is a Sithly trait to have to go into full evil laughter, rather than stopping with a chuckle, or if it was just that Yoda?s expression must have been so priceless.

Rather a quick change of mood from amusement to mood, but nobody said Sith were stable.

?Delusional you are, if think you do that two Sith can destroy the entire Order.? ?Ouch, I hope Yoda remembers making that statement. He?s right in as much as it also took lots and lots of Clonetroopers, and it wasn?t quite a clean sweep, but I think it was too close for the idea to be delusional.

Liked the reference to outliving the Jedi, reminds me of Migru lifespans and how much of a long view a Migru Sith could take. Plans that take centuries rather than decades, slowly guiding events from behind the scenes until the changes you?ve made gain the weight of tradition.

Seems like once Yoda finds a tactic he sticks with it. He fights Rizza and he gets smacked across the room into a wall with smoke rising from his clothes, he fights Palpatine all those centuries later and seems surprised when the same thing happens again.
Maybe Yoda was just being polite here though, after all ?when ya tell yer bird that ya dumping ?er, like, she might getta little upset, like, and slap ya face. Summat that ya gotta let ?er do tho? as tha price of dumping ?er, only seems fair, like.?

Liked how when Yoda regained his balance by remembering the Jedi Code that this so instantly slid his lightsaber out through the currents of Dark Side energy.

 

Great chapter! Everyone is very sure of themselves right now, thus someone's overconfidence will definitely prove to be their undoing (and historical evidence seems to indicate that this phenomenon usually happens to those who are commonly referred to as "the bad guys".) I was a little surprised that Yoda was not adequately prepared for the Sith Lightning, but I guess one of the purposes of this story is to explore how he learned to deal with it in the first place.

Great stuff. Can't wait for the next post!

 

Another excellent upadte master.

Hmmmm...

Yoda and Rizza are above him...

Possibly symbolic of the different level Yoda and Rizza exist on? Both in terms of knowledge and power?

Ahh the Sith and their mid battle laughs. So true to form. Isn't it interesting that something normally reserved for happiness and joyful occasions can be twisted into something so chilling?

Did it get chilly in here?

It's still disheartening to see that Rizza when confronted with the choice to stop her wayward actions, instead continues on the path which only leads to pain and suffering.

Eagerly anticipate the next update.

 

Author?s note: It?s Friday, my favorite day of the week! The next post is written and is in the capable hands of my trusted and wonderful beta. I thoroughly enjoyed reading your responses this week. Thanks to each and every one of you for your encouraging words. As a side note, I apologize for the length of this post. I wanted to respond as best I could to each and every one of you as usual. I have been blessed to have three old readers show back up and I?m dizzy with joy.

On to replies?

Noelie: Great to see you again!

That Rizza's thinking is so one dimensional shows the problem with the Sith. They want power, but then when they have what they want, they have no idea what to do with it other than destroy things.

I think I see your point. I wonder if that problem is limited to the Sith or if, perhaps, we all suffer from that to some degree? Do we not all reach for stars without ever wondering what we would do if we caught them? I suppose the big difference is that our inclination isn?t to go blow up planets!


Killik_Twilight: Thanks!

"No greater fury than a woman scorned," is what you're looking for, or it's close enough.

Yep! Close enough!

Talon_Kenobi: He just told her, lol

Cobranaconda: Yay, I take it that this is where Yoda learns how to deflect Lightning with his hands?

Actually, he already learned that particular lesson when he fought Frigeus earlier?

?Course, that particular trick might come in a little handy right about now? (pun intended! )

Arcalian: Rizza still doesn't "get" his refusal, does she? Or didn't right away. She has her own attachment, like it or not--to him.

I?m so glad you see that, too. To me, she seems unwilling to accept the possibility that he might love the Light more than he loves her. Perhaps she has become so enamored with the idea of a migru Sith tandem that she can?t see past it?

Lord_Zeron:






Emoticons are never perfect at communicating a reaction but I thought you might want to get a feel for the flood of reactions your post brought me. As a side note, this post was enshrined in the Reader?s Post Hall of Fame , not just for its content but because I was really down the day you posted this. Thanks so much!!

I know you can?t respond to every one of them, but as long as you read them I?ll be happy.

Are you kidding?? You better believe I?ll respond to every one of them! You took the time to share your feelings with me, after all. I am honored to have the chance to respond in kind. I won?t comment on the plot points, since you already know what happened but I?ll definitely respond!

Page 9, Post 1:

The pebble, and it?s effects have to mean something...perhaps as Yoda points out, beauty is simply in the eye of the beholder.

Indeed. I think the pebble means something as well. Yoda was trying to teach Dorran a lesson, but perhaps it was Dorran who did the teaching?As you said perhaps Kaine is implanting dark ideas into our hero?s head.

I think I?m beginning to get a world-destroying superweapon sort of vibe.

I?m so transparent.

Page 10, Post 1:

But as Rizza says, at least Yoda will always have her, and that?s all he really needs. Then again, I can?t help but notice that Rizza wasn?t in the Prequel Trilogy. Motivation for Yoda?s turning, her death could be.



Page 11, Post 1:

Lol, only you could take the process of eating soup and make it into an exciting and important plot point. Thanks!!

I love the symphony comparison; music often makes great metaphors in my opinion.

I?m glad you like that. I happen to think that there is music to be heard in all things if we only stop to listen?

Your conversations, especially those between Yoda and Dorran, are always so brilliantly re

 

?Master! I?ve been looking everywhere for you! We?re going to be late!?

Nothing.

?Master, please. We don?t have time for this!?

Nothing.

?Master Rimasiss?"

?Patience, Padawan.? The Jedi Master?s voice had a tinge of amusement to it. Yoda swallowed his annoyance. ?I promise you that no one is going to cut your braid without you there.? Rimasiss turned sighed. ?They can wait. Now please, come in from the doorway. You?re letting too much light in.?

Obediently, Yoda lowered his head and stepped into the chamber. The door whooshed shut and the room was plunged into darkness.

Yoda concentrated on his breathing while waiting for his eyes to adjust. The blackness was oppressive.

Light.

There.

And there!

Yoda squinted at the sudden bursts of illumination on either side of the room.

?What do you see, Yoda??

?Red spots,? Yoda replied dryly.

Rimasiss? chuckle resonated well in the silent chamber. ?Focus, Yoda. As you?ve said, we don?t have much time.?

Yoda nodded silently and stared towards the sources of light. After a moment the glare resolved into a miniscule spinning orb floating several meters above the ground on the far side of the room. When Yoda looked to his left, an apparently identical sphere hovered at the opposite end of the room. Only apparently, Yoda was sure, because he was sure Rimasiss had a final lesson for him.

Yoda watched the orbs closely. Finally, he saw it. Smiling to himself proudly, he spoke. ?I see two light orbs, Master. They are similar in virtually every way but they are not identical. The one on the left is spinning in the opposite direction from the one on the right.?

?Well done, Yoda.? Rimasiss? voice had a definite smile to it. ?Well done.?

Yoda sighed relief. ?Can we go now? If we hurry we can avoid being late.?

Rimasiss snorted. ?Yoda, you see but you have not seen.? The Jedi Master turned at last and walked toward Yoda. He bent low and grasped Yoda?s shoulders, turning him to face the center of the room. ?I don?t have much time left either, my friend. Allow an old man to show you one final truth.?

Yoda?s cheeks flushed. ?Of course, Master?I?m?sorry.?

The light from the floating spheres glinted off Rimasiss? smile. ?No need.? The Jedi Master sat next to Yoda, cross-legged. His voice fell to a reverent hush. ?Today is your last day as a padawan, Yoda. It is an important day. I wanted to give you something.?

Yoda glanced at his Master, confused. Rimasiss was never this congenial with him. The Master seemed to know what Yoda was thinking because he started to chuckle.

?Today will close the door on our Master-Padawan relationship and open the door to our everlasting brotherhood, Yoda.?

Yoda smiled. ?Thank you, Master. You have given me more than I could possibly hope for. I do not want for--?

?Shhh?? Rimasiss put his fingers to his lips and glanced at the glowing globes. ?Watch.?

Suddenly the two lights started to move toward each other. As the distance between them shrunk, they accelerated. Rimasiss began to narrate.

?The two orbs are a design of mine to mimic particle and anti-particle behavior.? Rimasiss paused and watched as the orbs approached each other with blinding speed. Yoda sat transfixed, finally understanding that the particles would meet directly in front of them.

In short order, the particles found each other. Surprisingly, they glanced by one another rather than clashing together as Yoda had expected. Before he had grasped what had happened, the particles had altered course and started to move toward one another again. Again they missed each other and spun around.

?Notice the dance they engage in, Yoda. They swing each other around like lovers meeting for the first time, hovering and circling, unsure how to proceed. And then?? The two particles suddenly entered a stunningly fast and rapidly tightening spiral. ??they decide.?

Yoda watched in silence as the two particles moved faster and faster towards each other. After an eternity, they were so close to each other it was impossible to dist

 

I'm not sure of those are tears of joy, or sadness, or Force knows what else but That. Was. Beautiful.

Another perfect opening sequence, and I bet that memory was running through Yoda's mind as well. It seems that Master Rimasiss taugh Yoda lessons most Jedi could never even imagine, and I think it's thanks to him Yoda became such a great Jedi. If only he could see his Padawan now, I know he would be proud.

The next section... that was priceless. Epic battles seem to come so naturally to you, it's amazing. The deadly ballet of two lovers? Just one of the many lines I thought was absolutely perfect.

It seems I was right about Kaine, he knows he can't beat Rizza or Yoda so he's trying to escape. At least, I think that's what he's planning, but the mind of a Sith is a very strange place... And twin ion engies? I wonder if that craft was the predicesor of the TIE fighters we all know and love (or despise).

And the final countdown was incredible! I could feal my own heart beat getting faster as it neared zero. Timers are always such suspenseful things.

I guess Migruna III has met it's end, as we all knew it probably would. It was a good planet, and I'm sorry to say goodbye...

That was an amazing chapter, one of your best yet! Excellent work!

-Zeron

P.S. Sorry I haven't read any of your Vignettes yet, but don't worry, it's on my to-do list. Well, it would be if I had one.



Edit: (A few things I forgot to mention) Yay, I got first post award! And thank you so much for submitting my reply to the Reader?s Post Hall of Fame, as a reader I can't think of any greater honor! And I had a great time reading all of your responses, thanks for taking your valuable time to type them.

 

Am I the only one havnig problems with the board today?

"save him from the light" This ironic choice of phrasing in Rizza's mind shows her--fundamentalism? lack of irony? both? something else? It shows how twisted her viewpoint has become ("From my point of view the Jedi are evil!")

And of course, the Duel. I love duels. I love well written duels.

And of course, a certain Sith Apprentice is making his escape, to train the one who will train the one will train Plagueis who will train Sidious....or something like that.

 

Oh, that's mean Souder... that is mean. I don't think I can hold my breath until your next post but I currently have no breath to draw Awesome job as always, getting us into Yoda's head during the battle, and I loved the flashback sequence. As always, his master gives us a hint that Yoda?s great wisdom didn?t come from age alone.

 

Sounds like the final trial, keep calm and passive when your Master is making you late for your own Knighting ceremony. Enjoyed Yoda?s comment about seeing red-spots.

Like the analogy of the particle / anti-particle pair being like lovers, and the implication that Yoda and Rizza are like a particle / anti-particle pair which are similar but opposite. Male-Female, Light-Dark, Good-Evil, Sith-Jedi.

Of course unless this takes a turn for the AU from both canon and Fall of the Sith the particle / anti-particle analogy breaks down as whatever happens to Rizza we can?t have Yoda converted into energy?or can we? ?Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter? ?but that is getting a little too speculative.

One minute?
Twenty breaths?
Fifty beats of the heart?
One thousand clashes of Light against Dark. ?loved the sheer speed that conveyed.

Sounds like Yoda decides to keep quiet about the whole situation rather than, at least, providing a verbal summary for the record. Can?t blame him, but if true it does make Anakin deciding all those centuries later to keep his own secrets seem much less severe.

Hooray, Kaine has his ship. Whether he plans escape or something more aggressive I am glad he has the options.

It was not enough to prevent the tip of her blade from slicing through his knee. ?from now on we can call him Gimpy. I?d thought the stick was age, but it could be both. An old ?war wound? starts playing up (?When 800 years old you reach, have good knees you will not?) and Yoda digs the stick out from the back of his closet.
(Witnessed by several prominent archaeologists and historians who hope that when Yoda starts throwing things over his shoulder, a la ESB, they will find surviving examples of artefacts from centuries past)

Liked how calm Yoda was about not being able to stand.

Nasty Sounderwan giving us a cliff hanger. At least it ensures we?ll be back next time.

 

Aaargh!! I hate cliffhangers! No, I love them! No, I HATE them ... no, I LOVE them ... well, no, I ...



updated pdf:
"Descent into the Dark" by Souderwan pdf, 542kB, 154pg, 12 chapters so far

 

Looks like Kaine is taking a page from General Grievous' "run away!" philosophy. (Insert Monty Python sound bite here.) Makes sense, though...if Rizza is defeated, you need another Sithly type to keep the line going.

The duel, as always, was amazing. You write fabulous fight scenes! The tension, the buildup, the...cliffhanger. You are evil!

I just hope I'm well enough to beta the next chapter so I know what happens before everyone else!

 

?Is there an alternative??

Rimasiss rubbed his chin. ?I once saw a rather odd thing happen. Both orbs rushed into each other and did their dance and then both spun away from each other at astonishing speed.?

Yoda?s eyes widened. ?What happened next??

Rimasiss smiled wryly. ?They eventually turned around and annihilated each other.?

?Oh.?


Wow.

Oh, my.

Particle physics illustrating ...what... that choice is an anomaly? Or that choice - the application of the will - the decision to act - can change the universe?

This post is breathtaking.

But... It. Ended. Before. I. Wanted. It. To.

I need to know what happens.

I NEED to!

I'm so affected by the speed inherent in the way you write - structure the writing of - epic battles that I can hardly write ordinary exposition in reply. Even these sentences feel too long, because we're hurtling...

Hurtling!

...toward a resolution...

And I'm desperate to find out whether Yoda's will to act - to defy the opression (because that is its nature, I think, no matter how freely one chooses to enter into its stream) of the Dark Side - will result in the continuation of the eternal dance, or whether

time

will

end...

even for Yoda.

I'm not so sure any longer.

I think this is one of those posts I'm going to have to reflect on again after I've seen the next one.

That was a hint, O Author!

Oh... er... in case I didn't express this very well ... BRAVO!!!

 

Author?s note: It?s my favorite time of the week. Friday!! Sadly, I?m not sure I?ll have a post up this weekend. I expect to get some work done tomorrow but I?ve been very much inundated with the demands of others and haven?t had a chance to work on the next post. I?ll do my best, though. I want to get it up this weekend because if I don?t, it won?t likely be up until next weekend. Let?s cross our collective fingers and hope I get to work!

Break.

I can?t tell you how wonderful these last responses have been. Of course, I?ll reply to each of you individual as always but I just wanted to tell you that reading your responses this week made an otherwise dreadful experience (work) completely bearable. Thank you!

Now?on to replies!

Lord_Zeron: Before I forget! *Extends a warm hand to an excited Zeron.* Congratulations! *puts medal on Zeron?s neck* You?ve won the official but recently unbestowed weekly First Post Award!!

I'm not sure of those are tears of joy, or sadness, or Force knows what else but That. Was. Beautiful.

Thank you so much. The idea that you had such a confused reaction to the post is very gratifying, believe it or not.

It seems that Master Rimasiss taugh Yoda lessons most Jedi could never even imagine, and I think it's thanks to him Yoda became such a great Jedi. If only he could see his Padawan now, I know he would be proud.

I would hope that he?d be proud of the Yoda of the PT. I also think he might have some concerns, though. I?ll let you draw your own conclusions on that one.

Epic battles seem to come so naturally to you, it's amazing. The deadly ballet of two lovers? Just one of the many lines I thought was absolutely perfect.



Thanks.

It seems I was right about Kaine, he knows he can't beat Rizza or Yoda so he's trying to escape. At least, I think that's what he's planning, but the mind of a Sith is a very strange place... And twin ion engies? I wonder if that craft was the predicesor of the TIE fighters we all know and love (or despise).

To the former comments, all I will say is

As for the Twin Ion Engines, I should know better than to slip anything by you all. Yes. The TIE fighters were the inspiration of that particular reference.

I guess Migruna III has met it's end, as we all knew it probably would. It was a good planet, and I'm sorry to say goodbye...

I?d be sad to see her go, that?s for sure.

That was an amazing chapter, one of your best yet! Excellent work!

Stop. You?re spoiling me.

P.S. Sorry I haven't read any of your Vignettes yet, but don't worry, it's on my to-do list. Well, it would be if I had one.

You?re under no obligation whatsoever to read anything of mine. I?m honored that you?ve read as much as you do. Certainly, you have nothing to apologize for.


thank you so much for submitting my reply to the Reader?s Post Hall of Fame, as a reader I can't think of any greater honor! And I had a great time reading all of your responses, thanks for taking your valuable time to type them.

It is I who thank you, my friend. Your induction in the Hall of Fame is only my small way of saying Thank you to you.

Arcalian: These board problems seems sporadic and troublingly ongoing. It?s becoming somewhat of a nuisance. Oh well.

"save him from the light" This ironic choice of phrasing in Rizza's mind shows her--fundamentalism? lack of irony? both? something else? It shows how twisted her viewpoint has become ("From my point of view the Jedi are evil!")

I?m so happy you picked up on this!! Yes, the Sith have a very?distorted? pov. As a certain military strategist and philosopher is fond of being quoted says ?Know your enemy.? The way the Sith think is very self-directed and uncompromising. I think it?s key to realize that.

And of course, the Duel. I love duels. I love well written duels.

Really? I had no idea!! Thanks!!

And of course, a certain Sith Appr

 

The replies on this thread are almost as fun to read as the story. *waves to people*

I've been gone a kinda long while, so I'll just do general comments right now - well, okay, and digressions inspired by posts.

Namely that thing about choice. Choice has been something that's been bugging me for a while now - choice, fear and how to arrive at freedom. I'll try to keep down the digression as much as I can, but I'll just say you, Souderwan - yes!

*does happy dance*

I completely agree with you and Geo - heck, I was actually thinking about ways to say that the choice, the ultimate decision to turn to the dark is a personal one in one of my stories. It cannot be forced. And Souder, you did a wonderful job of it.

And this is where I digress a bit. The thing about choice is that one has to recognize that there is a choice before one can make it. Anakin never really saw a choice - he only saw that whichever path he took, his life would be miserable. He thought Padme's living would make it less miserable, so he just chose the lesser of two evils. So, the next question is why.

I love whys. It has to be my favorite question.

So, my answer to that question is fear. The root, the baseline of the dark side is truly fear. Anakin's terror for Padme's life never let him look at anything else. He never questioned his visions, or Palpatine, or anything because terror directed him. Afterward, he never acted against Palpatine, even though he knew Palpatine was wrong - because Palpatine was all he had left. He was afraid of losing that. The thing that makes his actions truly incredible in ROTJ, is that after all that time of being ruled by fear, he finally threw it off. Letting his son die was the cave on Dagobah, the mirror that one can not look away from. In the prequels, he never faced his fear - he ran, with Padme. Or he simply never had a choice, with Qui-Gon and his mother. In ROTJ he finally does, and he chooses to embrace his fear and lose everything... or lose everything material and gain everything spirtual.

He finally becomes the samurai his character suggests, and finds true life in accepting death.

Yoda... if anyone wants to know when the decision was made to be a Jedi...

Do not fear the dark, Yoda. Use it. You control the Force. You are its Master. Bend it to your will. Let go of your guilt. Let go of your fear. Use the dark against itself, and you will triumph.

Am I right, Souderwan?

What I said about fear earlier was a bit... wrong. I think I had the right idea, but I said it wrong. The Sith are the masters of the external; even as they use fear to gain power over others, fear itself rules them. Jedi are masters of the internal. They rule no one else, have no power over others, but they rule themselves completely. So it is that they cannot truly defeat a Sith using external force - but they can defeat them with the power of an idea.

Argue with me or something, please?

 

LL18: The replies on this thread are almost as fun to read as the story.

They are way more fun for me to read than reading my own story, that's for sure!!

Namely that thing about choice. Choice has been something that's been bugging me for a while now - choice, fear and how to arrive at freedom. I'll try to keep down the digression as much as I can, but I'll just say you, Souderwan - yes!

*does happy dance*

Oh! Goody!! *does own version of happy dance*

I completely agree with you and Geo - heck, I was actually thinking about ways to say that the choice, the ultimate decision to turn to the dark is a personal one in one of my stories. It cannot be forced. And Souder, you did a wonderful job of it.

Why thank you! *bows, humbled* geo3 has demonstrated the same point of view in her own writing, far more articulately than my meger offerings, for those that are interested.

The thing about choice is that one has to recognize that there is a choice before one can make it. Anakin never really saw a choice - he only saw that whichever path he took, his life would be miserable. He thought Padme's living would make it less miserable, so he just chose the lesser of two evils.

I' not sure if I agree that Anakin never saw a choice. Anakin understood the choice to be a life with Padme, and him a student of the darkness, or a life without her, and him a student of the light. I agree that he made his choice without fully understanding the repercussions not only to himself but to the rest of the Galaxy. That being said, I think Anakin knew what he was choosing. It helped that Palpatine expertly blurred the lines between the Jedi and the Sith so that the choice was easier to make for Anakin. But make a conscious choice, Anakin most certainly did, imo.

So, the next question is why.

Absolutely. Far more important to understand "why," than it is to understand "what".

my answer to that question is fear. The root, the baseline of the dark side is truly fear.

I agree with that completely. The seduction of the dark side is the promise of the power to overcome the obstacles that we fear most. The promise of power is meaningless unless there is something you think you need the power for. Fear is the greatest of all motivators in this respect.

Yoda... if anyone wants to know when the decision was made to be a Jedi...

Do not fear the dark, Yoda. Use it. You control the Force. You are its Master. Bend it to your will. Let go of your guilt. Let go of your fear. Use the dark against itself, and you will triumph.

Am I right, Souderwan?

That is one of the possible pulse points for Yoda's decision, certainly. It is intentionally left ambiguous. I am not trying to answer questions, so much as raise them. The story is up for your interpretation--to me, and to all of you. As such, there is no "right" answer on this question. There is only the "right answer for you," if that makes any sense.

The Sith are the masters of the external; even as they use fear to gain power over others, fear itself rules them. Jedi are masters of the internal. They rule no one else, have no power over others, but they rule themselves completely. So it is that they cannot truly defeat a Sith using external force - but they can defeat them with the power of an idea.

Now that is simply a wonderful observation!! If you have pulled that from my work, I feel like I can stop writing!


All: Next post will pop up in a few moments...

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~PART III: DESTINY~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Adannu~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Fire?

A narrow emerald beam of charged particles lanced out?

Rizza focused her attention on the Jedi Master?

The blue-green planet seemed to vibrate under the brief barrage?

She peered deeper?

At the impact point, towering flames erupted?

Past flesh and bone?

The inferno spread across the small continent?

Past the blue flames of Light that surrounded him?

The sudden deaths of thousands screamed out in the Force?

To the glowing ember of rage?

Silence.

As suddenly as it began, the spear of energy died. For an instant, an oppressive peace seemed to fill all of existence.

The Ember glowed.

Rizza smiled.

All was as it should be. A simple push was all that was required?

---

As Kaine stepped of from the tiny craft, the sudden shriek of death pierced through his extensive shields. He thought he had been prepared for this moment. He had convinced himself that the destruction of the planet would be meaningless. He was Sith. The Sith do not suffer due to loss of life like the Jedi do.

As his knees gave way and he fell to the floor, he realized his error. The Sith feel just as much as the Jedi?more, even ? for the Sith use their emotions to fuel their power. Detachment from those emotions could only occur after they had been experienced and reflected upon.

Kaine waited?and suffered.

Silence.

For an instant, the deathly quiet wrapped itself around him with cold insistence.

The battle station had grown equally still. Ensconcing himself in the icy depths of the Dark Side of the Force, Kaine breathed deeply, drawing on its power, and stood. Glancing about the hanger, he settled his gaze on another undisturbed vessel, nestled between two damaged shuttles.

Then the durasteel beneath his feet gave way.

[hr]

The Force warned her and she leapt.

Rizza landed gracefully on the balcony above but found no purchase. As she grasped desperately to the railing, she glared at Yoda. He continued to stand rigidly, apparently staring at nothing and seemingly unaffected by intense tremors that rocked the station.

With sudden ferocity, klaxons blared.

Yoda remained still.

Rizza struggled to maintain her footing. Focusing her attention on the console before Yoda, Rizza shut down the alarms and began feverishly trying to engage the inertial dampening systems. With the use of her hands, this would have been a formidable task in and of itself as cascading failures shut down one access point after another. Using only the Force as her concentration was shaken with each horrendous shudder of the vessel, it was nearly impossible.

She focused her rage.

Yoda did this! He had planned it all along. He sabotaged the ship so that if the weapon was fired, the resulting power surges would destroy the weapon. She gazed again deeply at him, past the peripheral light.

The Ember remained.

It glowed hotter with each moment and the weak-willed Jedi was desperately trying to prevent it from igniting. Good. His mind was focused elsewhere.

Before her next exhale Rizza had crossed the divide and stood at the console, rapidly engaging secondary systems. She hazarded a glance at Yoda, whose eyes remained closed as if deep in meditation.

Before long, Rizza was ahead of the cascades. She could not stop the inevitable but she could delay it for several minutes, maybe longer. A series of commands, and the quakes ended abruptly. A few moments more, and the station stilled. Sighing loudly, Rizza entered yet more instructions into the station?s computers.

Darkness.

?I?ve had to shut down all life support, Yoda,? she called out into the dark. ?You may have destroyed this station but you have not saved Migruna and you will not have destroyed me.?

Low rumbling vibrations began anew.

?We don?t have much time,? she could hear the crack in her voice. Was that desperation? Did s

 

W..
O...
W....

The perfect chapter. Suspense that had my heart beating in tune with every word...
Dead on characterization...
Breathtaking action...
A perfectly arranged allegory...
And a heartbreaking ending.

It has it all.

As always, I'm enthralled by how the action you describe always seems to inhabit a higher plane, where our beliefs collide with the physical in heartfelt and visceral violence.

And as always, your prose speaks for itself. From Yoda watching his planet die, to Rizza's calculating words. From one sith's choice to revel in destruction to Yoda's refusal to turn.

Utterly perfect.

As for Adannu (the appointed time)...

For some reason, the entire passage seems to expose the cold(objective?) nature of Rizza as she watches her plans come to fruition.

How true, the very source of a Sith's power is his ability to feel emotion, from within the self or from outside the self.

As for Dorran and Rizza.....

Best summarized with your ending line...

 

Yoda saved Migruna! Yoda saved the planet! Yoda saved the planet! I so did not see that coming! YAY! *dances*

Darth Tyu didn't get what she really wanted--to be inside Yoda's head. But she did get inside *somebody's head....so has it been so must it be, et cetera.

Was also amusing to see Yoda play with her in that fashion, hmmmmm?

Regarding what else your pm said, all I can say is, hang in there man!!!!!!!

 

As soon as I saw that I had a PM, I was hoping and praying it would be an update. And when I saw that it was, I gave a silent "YIPEE!" (It would've been outloud, but I didn't want to wake up my mom). And now I see that I had every reason to be excited about the update.

Souderwan, your mastery of words is comparable too... well, Yoda's mastery of the Force. Or Windu's mastery of the lightsaber. It's just so beautifully stunning I don't even know how to describe it.

The "end" of Migruna (or so I believed) was so expertly woven with the thoughts of the those on the ship that I actually went back and read it again just for fun before continuing with the rest of the chapter.

For a second, I thought Kaine had died, which would've totally ruined all my theories about the aftermath of the story, I'm glad he managed to survive, and his actions afterward were perfect. I would be mad too if someone broke a comlink in the middle of a conversation, though I doubt that was the only reason Freigus turned on his Master. He saw a moment of weakness, and he did what any true Sith would do; he took advantage of it. Now I suppose he will become the new Sith Master so that the Order may continue.

One thing I will say is that I definently did not expect Kaine to be Tyu's bane (hey, that rhymes!). I actually wasn't sure how you were going to get rid of her, since I didn't believe that Yoda could do it even if he wanted to. I was thinking maybe the ship would blow up with her on it, and I expect the Moon of Death won't last long anyway. I also didn't think Migruna would survive the blast, though I'm very happy it did.

Having most of the chapter from Rizza's point of view was a great decision, it's always nice to feel for the victim. And so that little Migru none of us (w/ a few exceptions) expected to be anything more than Yoda's lover meets her final end.

Reading this was a magnificent end to a magnificent day. Keep up the good- no, increbile- work,

Zeron

(I know I use that smiley a lot, but it seems like the only reasonable conclusion for your writing, lol.)

 

Liked how Rizza was much more interested in looking into Yoda?s soul than watching the actual destruction. As it turned out that could have been a bad decision as it stopped her realising the truth.

I liked Kaine?s reaction to the death.

Very impressive use of telekinesis by Rizza.

Started feeling quite sorry for Rizza as she fought her feelings for Yoda, fought the truth of her failure to destroy her homeworld, fought her fear, and then had to fight Yoda.

Kaine, you sneaky bastard.
Let Yoda defeat your master and then distract him with a fake comm call. Get Yoda to rush to the hangar bay and get him out of the way. Prevent Yoda from striking Rizza, a helpless opponent, down and stop his ?ember? of the Dark Side from reigniting.
Then having had your master weakened and prevented the one that weakened her from replacing her kill her and become the Master.
Nice.

Did make me feel even more sorry for Rizza though as Kaine had interrupted with such malice, waiting until Rizza had accepted that her death at Yoda?s blade would serve the Sith well.

At least Rizza was smiling inwardly, Kaine seems to have proven himself a proper Sith at last rather than a minion.

 

WOW..is the best way to describe this.


Treachary is the way of the Sith...Kun, Revan, Sidious all learn that and now Rizza does

 

Yeah, I am with the rest. "Wow" is the best thing to say at this installment..

The Sithly part of me was cheering that Rizza met her deserved doom.
Yikes!

 

Well, you certainly caught me off-guard there. I was certain that Migruna would be completely destroyed. But once again Yoda has managed to save the day (mostly).

I love Rizza being afraid and not even realizing it until she stops to analyze the emotion. It speaks volumes about her...dare I say it?...hubris. She thought she was invincible, and Kaine took advantage of that weakness. (OK, so he's not Grievous-like and didn't take a powder after all.) But it looks as if his "technological terror" isn't long for this world, at least.

I'm very curious to see whether there will be a final confrontation between Yoda and Kaine! And I'm glad that Yoda didn't have to be the one to kill Rizza. I think he could have found the courage to do it, but at what cost?

Beautiful as always!

 

First off, your presence alone in my thread fills me with job.

A hard taskmaster, I am!

Chapter 9?OCCASUM, Source-Latin. Meaning-To fall
Chapter 11?NURA, Source-Contemporary Eastern Assyrian. Meaning-Light, fire (as in ?ignite?)
Chapter 12?Bellum, Source-Latin. Meaning-War.

This helps a lot, thanks. They are very telling. I shall look at your chapter titles much more closely from now on!

On to the next post?

Destiny?Adannu

Do they mean the same thing? Or is a there a nuance that I?m missing?

This post is just? let me add my own ?wow? here!

I responded to the same things in this post as Art_of_War; that whole first section about the glowing ember of rage? struck me as a kind of poetry ? a dance between light and dark. Beautiful.

This, too, his me right between the eyes:

As his knees gave way and he fell to the floor, he realized his error. The Sith feel just as much as the Jedi?more, even ? for the Sith use their emotions to fuel their power. Detachment from those emotions could only occur after they had been experienced and reflected upon.

Kaine waited?and suffered.

I hadn?t considered that ? ever! It?s a completely new thought and I?m utterly fascinated. Did I say? ?wow!? yet?

Once I?d had time to assimilate everything that happens and that is observed in this highly distilled (i.e., poetic all the way through, come to think of it ? so spare, so pure) chapter, a few more things jumped out for me as well.

The Ember remained.

It glowed hotter with each moment and the weak-willed Jedi was desperately trying to prevent it from igniting. Good. His mind was focused elsewhere.

So few words to describe the inner battle that Yoda is fighting ? and yet, in combination with your terse, almost ?sleight of hand? descriptions of his actions, it leaves a lasting image. I think I knew from this moment that Rizza had lost. As soon as she thought of Yoda as ?that weak-willed Jedi,? I realized that she didn?t understand what a powerful will it takes to even fight that kind of an inner battle. If her skewed philosophy allowed her to make that mistake, then she would make others. And her momentary fear showed that to be true.

Way to write a story.

Her voice had returned to its former strength. She could breathe again. Why had she ever been afraid? She had to accept. The will of the Force was complex and mysterious.

Oh, boy you?re doing it again! Flashback to the hard lesson that Anakin had to learn in Fall of the Sith! and yet ? the outcome for Rizza is not the same. Back to that ?skewed philosophy? again? GAV hit the nail on the head, I think. Rizza?s hubris was her downfall. (Another flashback, this time to RotJ when Luke says to the Emperor, ?Your self-confidence is your [weakness].?)

?Go ahead, Yoda.? Rizza lifted herself higher, pushing her neck dangerously close to Yoda?s extended blade. ?Avenge Gandol. Avenge Prime Village! Take my life!?

Love the parallels to Luke?s trial by fire in RotJ. Love them. ?Go ahead? strike me down!? In Souderwan?s universe we now have Yoda/Rizza, then Anakin/Palpatine, Mace/Anakin and finally (presumably) Palpatine/Luke. To me, the important thing about all of these struggles ? all of these ?trials by fire? is how incredibly difficult they are for the one who is struggling to remain in the light ? and how blind the Sith are to the possibility that they might succeed.

Yoda?s eyes glowered for an instant. The corners of his mouth turned downward as he raised his weapon high above his head.

A small chirping sound emanated from Rizza?s chest.

Oooh! I can see it? hear it? this is one of those ?breathless? moments.

I, too am unspeakably glad that Rizza did not die by Yoda?s hand, although I have no doubt he would have killed her if he?d had to. But he was cleverer than that, wasn?t he? With his newfound understanding of the Dark Side, he understood kaine perhaps better than Kaine understood himself.