Before Descent Into The Dark (EU, Yoda 300 years before TPM)--*Complete* Replies 7/31- Link to EotD posted!

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Souderwan, Jul 15, 2005.

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  1. aldocassidy Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jun 22, 2005
    star 3
    Great series of viggie's, Souder! Windu certainly is a sneaky youngling. And as for Dooku, very interesting that his future was unclear even as Yoda was training him.
  2. geo3 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 29, 2002
    star 4
    Renovation

    Yoda contemplated the last time he had visited the chamber?He had thought them weak? He had been wrong.

    You know what? I got so wrapped up in the events of this story that I?d forgotten about this scene at the beginning. I?d forgotten Yoda?s original attitude toward the Jedi and the Council. Looking back, I?m taken once again with awe for the character arc you?ve mapped out for Yoda. It is, and always will be, canon for me. You rule.

    Closing his eyes, Yoda breathed in the calming energies of the Force, and the whispers of the dark side that nipped at the edges of his consciousness dissipated.

    From now on, every time I see Yoda in ANY of the SW films, I will think of him in this way.

    My favorite kind of fanfiction, by far, is the kind that is so real, so plausible within the original context that it only serves to deepen and widen the original story.

    I love your stories so much.

    The Force suddenly exploded in deluge of emotion with Yoda at its source?
    The impressions came in a flood without meaning? Grief and guilt poured from Yoda in seemingly unending waves. Unbidden tears rushed to Elyana?s eyes and poured down her face.


    I found your solution to the tough question of what, given his vow, Yoda would say to the Council, extraordinary. It?s really the only possible answer, isn?t it? For him to reveal the power and the depth of what had happened, without giving away the details?

    The other Jedi Masters nodded assent. Fanzeh glanced about the room. His lower jaw dropped. ?He has given us more questions than answers!? Fanzeh roared. ?Don?t you all see that?

    [face_laugh] =D= [face_hug] Of course he has! That?s the whole point! The only answers worth having are the ones we arrive at ourselves, through personal struggle! True teachers know that they can?t really give answers; they can only guide us through the process of learning. You show that so well. When Yoda accepts leadership of the Council, what he is really doing is taking on the role of teacher and guide.

    ?You wouldn?t!?

    Yoda grinned.


    Like everyone else who anxiously hung on every word of this chapter, I was immeasurably relieved and delighted (i.e., laughing out loud into an empty room while reading it) to see him gradually find himself again.

    Bravo! And again, Bravo!!!!!


    Suffer the Children

    Oh-oh, I thought, bracing myself, when I read the title? I wasn?t sure what I would find?

    Whatever I might have expected, you took me in a completely different direction.

    Do you have any idea just how brilliant you are at ? wait, I was going to say ?characterization?, which is of course completely true ? but that?s not all I?m talking about here. ?Action? ? yes, undisputed master. Still not what I want to say. I guess what I really want to express is? do you have any idea how brilliant you are at ? storytelling? It?s the carefully thought out, carefully crafted way you put all of the pieces together ? revealing just enough to give your readers one ?aha!? moment after another ? that takes my breath away. It?s so complex. As one of your other readers put it ? it?s the layers!

    Like your other readers, I?m really blown away by the seamless and seemingly effortless tie-in between Mace and ?Shatterpoint?, Yoda, Kaine, Dooku and ? yes? Anakin.

    Wow. Just wow.

    To go back to your gift for characterization for a moment ? I agree wholeheartedly with GAV about your portrayal of the older, wiser Yoda and the younger, more innocent Dooku. You?ve outlined them in simple, masterful strokes, and the parallels between Dooku and the Padawan who will later replace him as Sidious? apprentice are profoundly satisfying to my Star Wars-lovin? soul!

    Yoda screwed up his face briefly. Then he let out a loud breath. ?In time, Padawan. Patience. Strong you are in the Force. Focus and training, you need, to realize your full potential.?

    Dooku straightened. ?But I will never realize my full potential, will I??


    And?

    [i
  3. Souderwan Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Jun 3, 2005
    star 6
    Author?s note: Thank you all, once again, for continuing to stick with me through these vignettes! I promise, the end is nigh. For fair warning, there may be one or two additional vignettes beyond what I mentioned earlier (four) based mostly on chronological concerns. As many of you have probably already surmised, these vignettes take us from the end of DitD through time to the beginning of FotS. The next vignette is ready thanks to the wonderful work of my beta, GrandAdmiralV @};-. I?d also like to thank geo3 for being kind enough to be a sounding board. @};-

    Before I go on to replies, I?d like to take a moment and officially plug Matthew Stover?s Shatterpoint and Sean Stewart?s Dark Rendezvous, the best two Clone Wars novels, imnsho. If you?ve enjoyed this story, I?m confident you?ll enjoy these amazing books. I will caution you that my experience is that people either love Shatterpoint or hate it. I haven?t met too many who fall in between?.

    Now on to replies!

    Cobranaconda: Don?t you worry about not posting, my friend. I?m just happy you?re still around! :D

    All I'll say for now is that you're still something for us younger writers to aspire to, Souder

    I?m going to pretend that you didn?t just call me old. [face_plain]

    :p

    Thank you very much, my friend! I?m glad you?re enjoying.

    _JM_: Glad that Yoda didn?t claw Luke in ESB. *chuckle* Methinks by then Yoda might have learned even newer lessons? ;)

    Sounds like Yoda doesn?t believe in training sabers or training settings.

    This portion of the scene was inspired by a training session with my Sensei when I was fourteen. We each had a katana and both were quite sharp. He progressively got more and more aggressive with each engagement, pushing me to the limits of my skill. When I failed to parry a slash that would most certainly have decapitated me, at the last possible second he twisted the business end of the blade and boxed me quite harshly on the ear (I?ve tried to replicate this maneuver many times without success, btw). It hurt like the dickens but I learned my lesson. Yoda would never actually have taken Dooku?s head off. Still, the closer you get to making a training session real, the more likely the combatants will respond the way you would like when the time comes.

    Liked the touch of removing the power cell before crushing the lightsaber as otherwise it could have been a rather explosive result

    You better believe it!

    Poor Yoda though, Dooku seemed more impressed with the display than embarrassed at having required it.

    Indeed. And this is Dooku?s fatal flaw, I believe. He is more concerned with power than he is with the reason for exercising it. The most powerful blade is one that is never unsheathed.

    Ah, the Jedi baby-snatchers. I suppose that the ?anti-attachment? training is not so bad, advice to parents has sometimes been to let the baby cry and only feed / attend it at set times (though I don?t remember any advice about scurrying around with a ?clipboard?

    LOL!

    Yes?the Jedi do a lot of good things and a lot of not-so-good things. To learn from our mistakes, we must take an honest look at what it is we do. Personally, I think it?s a sad thing to teach a child that s/he should love nothing lest it be taken away from you (the essence of the anti-attachment training). Still?that is a lesson Yoda seems to have learned?

    Syndaar seems to regard the babies in much the same way as the Kamino regard the clones they produce.

    I love this observation! Yes?I pictured Lama Su (sp?) talking about the clones when I wrote this scene, though it was not my express intent. I?m glad it wasn?t just me.

    Shame Yoda was proven right about the effects of the Jedi baby stealing.

    Yeah? :(

    Arcalian: The Jedi "baby snatchers" are bad juju. Blech.

    I?d have to agree with you on that one.

    *highfives the Wan that is Souder*

    *grin* *highfives
  4. Souderwan Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Jun 3, 2005
    star 6
    Author's note: I'm posting this from work *checks over shoulder* so the PMs won't come out until much later tonight. Hope you enjoy!

    Epilogue?

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Allies and Obstacles?~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    The impromptu crowd of Padawans and Jedi parted to make way for Yoda and his opponent amid resounding cheers and applause. Yoda responded to the throng?s approval with a slight nod and a smile as he and Mace Windu passed through the makeshift passageway they had provided.

    When they entered the small meditation chamber attached to the training room, Yoda climbed up onto one of the long wooden benches, moving his gimer stick aside before settling into a comfortable seated position. Pulling his feet under him, Yoda leaned back against the cool duracrete wall and smiled.

    ?Most impressive, your display of lightsaber skills was,? Yoda announced as he watched Mace use the Force to pull a bottle of water from the other side of the domed chamber to his waiting hand. Mace grabbed his towel from where it rested on the seat next to Yoda and wiped his sweat-drenched brow and neck.

    Mace smiled and tilted his head in a clear acknowledgement of the compliment. With an exaggerated display of exhaustion, Mace dropped into the seat next to Yoda.

    ?How is it that no matter how hard we spar, you never seem to break a sweat??

    Yoda laughed at that. ?When nearly eight hundred years old you reach, long ago shriveled up will your sweat glands be, too!?

    Mace chuckled. ?I almost had you near the end.?

    ?Almost,? Yoda replied, his smile widening. ?Heh! As useful, that observation is, as giving credit for ?almost? landing a ship!?

    Mace leaned forward, placing his elbows one his knees, and laughed. ?Good point.?

    Yoda leaned his head against the wall and closed his eyes.

    A tranquil silence filled the room.

    ?Yoda??

    ?Hmmm??

    ?You weren?t taking it easy on me, were you??

    Yoda opened an eye and looked at Mace. The newly promoted Jedi Master seemed to be trying to hide his clear unease at having asked the question. For a moment, Yoda considered dismissing the inquiry out of hand, but he sensed that the answer was important to Mace.

    ?Concerned, are you, that I was??

    Mace?s nod was barely perceptible.

    Yoda opened his other eye, sat up, and smiled. ?Gave our sparring match my all, I did.?

    Mace pursed his lips and twisted his mouth. After a few long moments, he settled his gaze on Yoda. Mace smiled. ?I don?t think so.?

    Yoda raised his right eyebrow. ?No??

    Mace shook his head, his smile widening. ?No.?

    Yoda bent his head but said nothing.

    Mace obviously understood the silent gesture. After a meaningful sidelong glance in Yoda?s direction, he tilted the bottle of water to his lips and took several thirsty gulps. Setting the bottle down on the bench, he turned to face Yoda and draped the towel around his neck. He grasped his right ankle and pulled it under him.

    ?Yoda, it?s just you and me here, right now,? Mace began, his eyes boring intently. ?I could feel you holding back.?

    Yoda held the gaze, but drew the corners of his mouth tight. Yoda swallowed. ?More to say, you have.? It was not a question.

    Mace glanced at the bench.

    ?I tried to find your shatterpoint?.?

    Yoda frowned. He was intimately familiar with Mace?s special gift, having spent years working with him to learn how to interpret the visions the Force provided. Mace?s ability to see the weakest point in anyone or anything had long been a topic of animated discussion among the members of the Council. That, and his undeniable power in the Force, would likely result in his appointment to the Council earlier than anyone in Jedi history.

    But Mace?s ability to see shatterpoints had a way of making those around him uncomfortable. Just about every Padawan and more than a few Jedi Knights had reported feeling that every time Master Windu glanced at them, he was secretly scrutinizing their faults. Perhaps it was the fact that Yoda never seemed concerned about Mace?s gift that Mace seemed to se
  5. _JM_ Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 26, 2001
    star 4
    Aww. Last time he was levitating rattles and now he?s levitating water bottles.

    Liked the idea of Yoda?s sweat glands having shrivelled up (which are not the glands people normally accuse him of having shrivelled up) and the comment on almost beating him being as useful as almost landing a ship (though almost landing a ship could mean not crashing it too badly, which in some circumstances is a great achievement).

    Also liked that Mace could tell Yoda wasn?t giving it everything, though I wonder if Yoda was holding back to be ?taking it easy? on Mace or because possibly the last time Yoda gave a fight everything was when he was fighting Rizza so Yoda holds back to only use as much power as he knows he can control rather than it beginning to control him.

    The idea that most Jedi?s shatterpoint is enmeshed with their connection to the Jedi Order is a good one, and I like that Qui-Gon did not share that flaw. His shatterpoint was possibly his un-Jedi-like compassion, his willingness to form attachments, and therefore his desire to defeat Maul alone rather than letting his Padawan (who had barely managed to save himself from a fatal fall moments before) face him again.

    Poor Dooku. He was so heavily trained and warned by Yoda that it is no wonder that he would feel ?concerned? about the freedom being given to Mace Windu. To have this demonstration that Yoda?s constant warnings about the Dark Side were aimed at him, Dooku, personally could cause resentment. It was not that Yoda thought it was dangerous for Jedi to skirt the limits, it was that Yoda thought Dooku was incapable of that but has more faith and allows more leeway to a much younger man.

    Dooku is the older brother, the one brought up on duty and respectability and the importance of adherence to proper codes of conduct. Mace the younger, the one who has been let on a looser rein, allowed to please himself more and take more risks. A classic setup for sibling rivalry, and one that puts and gives a new complexion and undercurrent on the Mace / Dooku confrontation at Genosis.
  6. Noelie Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 11, 2005
    star 4
    The great thing about your stories Souderwan is that you also get some great responses that shed further light and knowledge onto what you are saying.

    I was intrigued about the shatterpoints the first time I read them and you did a great job of highlighting them.

    You also spoke of Mace's lengendary dance with the darkside without falling into, which also explains greatly the scene in the ROTS where he moves using such controlled anger against Palpatine and why if he had won the outcome wouldn't have him turning against the light.

    This was a great vig.
  7. Arcalian Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 13, 2005
    star 3
    :cool: The Yoda/Mace match reminds me of...something....that hasn't happend yet. *Wry smile*[face_shhh]

    And in FOTS continuity, Dooku was right, kind of.

    As always, Souderwan is the man with the plan, and I don't just say that because it rhymes.



    =D= =D= [face_dancing] :D
  8. Talon_Kenobi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 3, 2003
    star 4
    I like that Yoda did not have a shatterpoint, or one that was hard to see. Another person whom I always though would have that would be Obi-wan. He is a man that is willing to sacrifice himself, his padawan, his close friend all if he feels it is right. How ccould some like that have shatterpoint.


    I also really like the backstorys on Mace and Dooku. They are really good. Keep it up
  9. Baby_Death_Star Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 12, 2004
    star 4
    Hello there ... here the updated version, again as double-update. Had not much time lately, sorry.

    Wow, Souderwan ... great tie-in into FOTS ... so are there any plans for another big EU novel?? ;)


    updated pdf:
    "Descent Into The Dark" by Souderwan pdf, 685kB, 199pg, 14 chapters & vignettes

    If anyone would prefer a MS Word-version of DitD (e.g. for PDAs, cell phones), there's a link too. Please PM me, if interested.
  10. GrandAdmiralV Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    May 30, 2005
    star 3
    Another wonderful, illuminating vignette.

    I found it fascinating that Mace's true strength really isn't his ability to see shatterpoints, even though that's the ability the Jedi Order tends to focus on. But being able to go right to the edge without going over it is even more important. Very interesting.

    I also got the vibe of Dooku being treated as the responsible older sibling and Mace being given more rein to do what he wants. This sort of situation often leads to bad feelings...and we all know what happened with Dooku. :eek:

    BTW, I really loved Shatterpoint, so I guess you know which camp I'm in now. :D

    And you say Kaine got busy after he got to Haruun Kal? Hmm...I smell a plot bunny!
  11. Zonoma Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 28, 2005
    star 5
    Chapter 10
    I loved how you walked us through Qui-Lek?s death and the Jedi Code. Beautiful and haunting.

    I also have a feeling that Kaine is going to have his butt kicked by a certain dimunitive Jedi Master! If the Jedi felt him, then surely Yoda did.

    Back to Qui-lek ? I am sure that Yoda still considers himself on the Lightside because he sacrificed his beloved Master for the sake of an entire planet. But sacrifice ? is dangerous. Qui-lek obviously was not a willing sacrifice and I pity Yoda when he finally wakes up to the fact that it was not a noble, or even vaguely moral, action to murder his friend. He treads closer and closer to the point of no return.

    Chapter 11
    I very much loved Rimasiss? gentle coaxing. Of course, quiet moments of wisdom have always been favorite scenes for me.

    Broga ? Out of the mouths of babes.

    I confess that I don?t exactly understand why Kaine didn?t attack Yoda or Broga, but perhaps he is even more cowardly than I thought. Or foolish.

    Chapter 12
    [face_laugh] Perhaps not so foolish after all. Ally himself with Yoda? Jedi are definitely supposed to be forgiving, but somehow I don?t think it will work out like Kaine would like it to.

    Um?. Go Yoda! Go Yoda!
    Yoda, Yoda, He?s our ? Migru?
    If he can?t do it, neither can you!
    Gooooo Yoda!

    Chapter 13
    Rizza is just twisted. Confessing her true love and her enjoyment of getting to watch Yoda suffer practically in the same breath. That?s just not right. I do applaud her thought about ?saving him from the light? though, it helped remind me of her differing priorities in a way that her monologue about ?we?re at war!? never did.

    Adannu
    Incredibly well done. Treachery indeed.

    untitled, unchaptered post
    Even knowing that the planet would not survive, it was still hard to read. I find myself now wondering, though, whether Mace is one of Kaine?s descendants. It leaves intriguing possibilities?

    Genesis
    Okay, all my Kaine bashing? Oops. I was wrong. Somewhere in there, he grew a spine AND a brain! Almost makes me want to swoon, you gotta love a good bad guy.

    And now we know where Yoda?s ?understanding? with the Wookiees originated. It was also a great relief to find that Yoda also understood that the greatest lies always have the truth. It?s funny, Brian, but this touches on one of my themes in the story your reading as well. I hope I can find words as eloquent as yours when the time comes.

    Renovation
    The perfect ending! Yoda came full circle, one pebble at a time. Bravo.

    Suffer the Children
    [face_laugh]I shouldn?t be smug? but I love being right! *snickers* Now comes the infamous rattle scene from Shatterpoint

    Allies and Obstacles
    Ha! Leave it to you to let the last word in a YODA fic be from Mace Windu. You are one big soppy fangirl, Souderwan! [face_laugh] I did enjoy your interpretation of Mace?s ?true? gift, though.

    All in all: Beautifully written and a treat to read. I look forward to reading Fall of the Sith sometime in the future, as well as the bunnies floating around in your head. PM me anytime you choose to write again.
  12. Lord_Zeron Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 19, 2005
    star 2
    Bravo to another fantastic glimpse into the lives of the Jedi! It was great seeing that Yoda and Mace had a strong friendship, even before Mace joined the council. I?m not surprised that Yoda won the match, though I have a feeling that Mace?s skills will be catching up in coming years. After all, if I remember correctly, Mace managed to beat Yoda in FotS.

    I liked the warning from Dooku too, it?s sort of ironic really. That Yoda constantly warn him about turning to the Dark Side when it didn?t really matter, while Mace, who might?ve needed the warnings with his use of Vaapad, never really talked about it with Yoda. I suppose the little Jedi Master must?ve been crushed to realize that both his Padawan and his friend had turned to the Dark Side.

    as he watched Mace use the Force to pull a bottle of water from the other side of the domed chamber to his waiting hand

    I?m so jealous.

    ?When nearly eight hundred years old you reach, long ago shriveled up will your sweat glands be, too!?

    Lol, typical Yoda.

    That, and his undeniable power in the Force, would likely result in his appointment to the Council earlier than anyone in Jedi history.

    For someone who thinks the future is constantly in motion, Yoda sure is good at predicting it.

    ?Fear for Mace, you need not.?

    Oh, I wouldn?t be so sure about that, if I were him. Then again, I would never suspect any of my friends to turn (notice I didn?t say ?fall,? lol) to the Dark Side. But I suppose that?s the danger of it, that it tempts those who no one ever suspects would succumb. Anakin was the Chosen One, Mace Windu the youngest Council Member and Spokesman in history, and Yoda later became the Grandmaster of the Jedi Order. But all of them, for a time, lost their way.

    Another great vignette that brings together two fantastic stories from two wonderful eras! Great work!

    -Zeron

    :)
  13. Souderwan Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Jun 3, 2005
    star 6
    Author?s note: Early replies this week (and early post! :D). I managed to find a little time this weekend to put the proverbial pen to paper and get the first post done early and since I?m not likely to get a chance to be online on Friday, I thought I?d post now rather than make you all wait unnecessarily.


    Thanks, once again to the wonderful GrandAdmiralV for the amazingly quick turnaround on the beta. I have a few minor tweaks and then the post will be up in the morning, I suspect.

    One more thing. I wrote this vignette on a lark for the guess the author challenge and decided to try my hand at humor. At first I hated it, but upon reflection, it has really grown on me. I thought one or two of you might be interested in checking it out. It?s called Bad Feeling. It?s a short Anakin/Obi-Wan fic.

    Now?on to replies! :D

    _JM_: Congrats on first post! :D

    Aww. Last time he was levitating rattles and now he?s levitating water bottles.

    LOL!

    Liked the idea of Yoda?s sweat glands having shrivelled up (which are not the glands people normally accuse him of having shrivelled up) and the comment on almost beating him being as useful as almost landing a ship (though almost landing a ship could mean not crashing it too badly, which in some circumstances is a great achievement).

    LOL! Good point! After all, we give Anakin a lot of credit for landing half a ship in RoTS! I guess Yoda isn?t quite all knowing after all. ;)

    I wonder if Yoda was holding back to be ?taking it easy? on Mace or because possibly the last time Yoda gave a fight everything was when he was fighting Rizza so Yoda holds back to only use as much power as he knows he can control rather than it beginning to control him.

    *nods* An astute observation! One wonders if Yoda even knows the answer to that question. If you?re so inclined and go back to read FotS or the RotS novelization, you?ll probably notice that Yoda realizes that to beat the darkest of the dark requires using forces (pardon the pun) that he?s simply not willing to tap into.

    His shatterpoint was possibly his un-Jedi-like compassion, his willingness to form attachments, and therefore his desire to defeat Maul alone rather than letting his Padawan (who had barely managed to save himself from a fatal fall moments before) face him again.

    Oooh! I like that observation! Qui-Gon certainly had a lot of compassion and seemed to follow his feelings to the exclusion of all else. In many cases, this is a virtue. In the case of Anakin Skywalker, one wonders?.

    To have this demonstration that Yoda?s constant warnings about the Dark Side were aimed at him, Dooku, personally could cause resentment. It was not that Yoda thought it was dangerous for Jedi to skirt the limits, it was that Yoda thought Dooku was incapable of that but has more faith and allows more leeway to a much younger man.

    Indeed! For those inclined to read Dark Rendezvous, you?ll learn that, even before he left the Order, somewhere along the line the relationship between Yoda and Dooku became strained. I think that Yoda?s relationship with Mace was likely the source of this.

    Dooku is the older brother, the one brought up on duty and respectability and the importance of adherence to proper codes of conduct. Mace the younger, the one who has been let on a looser rein, allowed to please himself more and take more risks. A classic setup for sibling rivalry, and one that puts and gives a new complexion and undercurrent on the Mace / Dooku confrontation at Genosis.

    I?m so happy you put it that way. That?s precisely how I view it?a sibling rivalry gone horribly, horribly wrong. I?m also glad you mentioned the showdown on Geonosis. I don?t plan on touching on that scene, but I really wanted people to think of it in light of this story. So reading that you did just made my day!!


    Noelie: The great thing about your stories Souderwan is that you also get so
  14. Souderwan Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Jun 3, 2005
    star 6
    Epilogue?

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Phantoms~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


    ?Trust your Master, you should, Obi-Wan.? Yoda poked the Padawan learner in the shin with the end of his gimer stick. ?A wise Jedi Master, Qui-Gon is. Headstrong and defiant, but wise nonetheless. Learn much from him, you could.?

    ?But he never listens to me!?

    ?Enough, Obi-Wan!? Yoda?s voice sounded harsher than he intended, and he turned and smiled. ?Persistent, you are. A great strength, that can be. But patience, you must learn as well, if a Jedi Knight, you wish to become.?

    ?Yes, Master Yoda.? Obi-Wan bowed respectfully.

    Yoda nodded and continued to hobble down the hallway, Obi-Wan following quietly beside him. When they approached Yoda?s quarters, where he and Obi-Wan would part ways, Obi-Wan cleared his throat discreetly.

    Yoda arched a brow. ?Something concerns you, young Obi-Wan??

    Obi-Wan swallowed visibly. Then, seeming to realize that indecisiveness was not a positive characteristic in a Jedi, he lifted his chin.

    ?I am concerned about Master Qui-Gon.?

    Yoda stopped and looked up at Obi-Wan Kenobi. The boy was a cool, placid lake in the Force. Unlike his peers, the Padawan lacked the roiling thunderheads of conflict that plagued other budding youths. The only sign of tension in the young man was the barely perceptible tremor in his voice. Having known the boy all his life, Yoda knew that this slight timbre signified an immense revelation for Obi-Wan.

    Yoda faced Obi-Wan and placed his hands atop his gimer stick. ?Your concern, share,? he said simply.

    Obi-Wan nodded. ?I?ve been having these dreams.??

    Yoda waited.

    Obi-Wan stared at Yoda for a long while, as if choosing his words carefully. ?In them, I?m cradling his head in my lap, and he?s.?dying.?

    Furrowing his brow, Yoda closed his eyes and breathed in the currents of the Force. Images flashed before his eyes, and he sank deeper into himself. Qui-Gon lay on a cold floor, the light in his eyes fading. The image began to fade. The more Yoda tried to resolve the image, to try and grasp at the details, the more quickly the vision dissipated.

    Cold.

    A dark cloud wrapped itself around the image?.

    Yoda opened his eyes wide.

    ?Did you see it, Master Yoda??

    Yoda stared at the top of his gimer stick, noticing that the nails on his fingers had gouged the twist of wood in his hands.

    ?Master Yoda? Are you all right??

    Yoda swallowed.

    ?Master Qui-Gon would tell me that they?re just dreams,? Obi-Wan continued, ?that they pass in time. I just can?t help thinking that I?m seeing?the future.?

    Yoda looked up, his face stern. ?Mindful of the future, you should be, Obi-Wan.? He looked back to his weathered hands, his throat tight. ?But always in motion, the future is. Careful, you must be, that in your hopes to prevent what you dread, become of the cause of it, you do not.?

    Obi-Wan pulled his eyebrows together and squinted in obvious confusion.

    Yoda turned without another word and entered his quarters. When the door slid shut behind him, he fell hard against it, panting.


    ?Qui-Gon and his Padawan had some difficulty escaping the Trade Federation blockade and have suffered significant damage to their hyperdrive generator. The Queen is with them.?

    Yoda heard Mace slide onto the hassock next to him, but did not open his eyes. He continued to reach out into the Force, searching for the elusive dark threads that he had sensed.

    ?They are going to Tatooine to attempt repairs.?

    Yoda opened his eyes with a start. ?Tatooine, you say?? He glanced around for a glass of water to soothe his suddenly dry throat.

    Mace did not seem to notice. ?I hadn?t heard of it either, until now. It?s a remote desert planet on the Outer Rim. Apparently it was uninhabited until about two hundred years ago or so, when the Hutts decided it was an ideal location to establish a new base of operations outside of normal Hutt space.?

    ?Tatooine?.? Yoda whispered. His gaze settled on an empty glass resting on a countertop several mete/>
  15. Arcalian Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 13, 2005
    star 3
    Wow, didn't expect you to go all the way to TPM with your flashbacks. Well done.
  16. GrandAdmiralV Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    May 30, 2005
    star 3
    Well, Souderwan, if you've got too many plot bunnies running around, you could always loan Kaine to me for a while. You know how I love to write romances with bad guys. [face_love]

    ?But he never listens to me!?

    OK, where have I heard that before?? ;) You'd think Obi would have tried to remember his own times as a padawan when he was dealing with Anakin. Then again, Anakin was a pain in the *ss.

    It's really terrible the Obi-Wan had some sort of precognition about Qui-Gon's death, though. Talk about the proverbial blessing and curse!

    Um...is Tatooine what I think it is? Or am I going crazy? I'm not going to write my theory here in case I sound like a total lunatic, but....

    It's also very interesting to see scenes from TPM written from this perspective. I get such a better idea of what was going on in Yoda's head, and why he was so adamantly opposed to Anakin being trained as a Jedi.

    Yoda fumed. ?Have to do nothing, but outlive you all, I do!?

    This was funny, but at the same time sadly prophetic.

    Yoda looked down at Mace?s hands, noting that they were balled into fists so tight that his dark skin paled across the ridges of his knuckles.

    This was a lovely detail, and very well done. It really put me into the moment, and let me know so much about Mace's emotional state without getting all angsty about it.

    I think I can speak for just about everyone when I say we really don't mind if you do more than four viggies. Keep 'em coming! =D=
  17. Baby_Death_Star Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 12, 2004
    star 4
    Wow, what a chapter/vignette!!

    And it works so great no matter if tieing to AOTC/ROTS or AOTC/FOTS.


    Marvellous details and behind-the-scenes insights to previous known situations, adding an intriguing perspective ... I want more of that! =D=

    ... I don't want "DitD" to end! :D

    Or perhaps another following novel could please my addiction? ;)


    updated pdf:
    "Descent into the Dark" by Souderwan pdf, 211pg, 14 chapters & epilogue, 723kB

    Hey, you just surpassed the 200pg with this addition! Kudos, dear Souderwan! :)
    My only comment to your writing speed: RESPECT! [face_dancing]


    ***

    ".doc"-version available on demand, if so please pm me, then I'll provide the link.

  18. SHADOW_MASTER_W Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jan 11, 2005
    star 1
    Bravo!!!! Bravo!!!!! Well written indeed!!!!
  19. Lord_Zeron Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 19, 2005
    star 2
    Another incredibly enjoyable vignette! I think this one was longer than the others, but that's a good thing, imo! And quite an appropriate chapter title as well. Before I forget everything I want to say, I'm gonna get started with some of my favorite parts (though if I included them all this post would be longer than the Kessel run) and some of my thoughts about them:

    ?Master Qui-Gon would tell me that they?re just dreams,? Obi-Wan continued, ?that they pass in time. I just can?t help thinking that I?m seeing?the future.?

    That sounds exactly like something Qui-Gon would say. The good ol' "pay attention to the here and now" philosophy.

    ?He was trained in the Jedi arts. My only conclusion can be that he was a Sith Lord.?

    That line sounded so familiar that I had to read it twice before realizing that it was the beginning of an Episode I scene. I like how you told parts of the movie from Yoda's P.O.V, it's nice to see that not all characters are what they appear to be on the surface. Yoda had much deeper thoughts than any of us (or at least me) realized, and quite a few hidden motivations from his secret past.

    The kaleidoscope of possible futures halted in a single office that Yoda did not recognize.

    What an appropriate metaphor. ;)

    Mace?s gaze lingered on Yoda for a long moment. Then he leaned back in his chair and brought his steepled fingers to his chin.

    The way you notice such minor details in canon charcters, and impliment them into your story to make it seem more realistic, is mangificent. It really brings them alive, and every time I hear one it always make the character feel even more realistic.

    ?Have to do nothing, but outlive you all, I do!?

    Lol, it's these sort of lines that are the reason Yoda's one of my favorite characters. He does outlive them all of course, though not in the way that any of them expected.

    Agree with you, the Council does.

    I like how you added so much more meaning to this line. I, and probably most other fans, always assumed that Yoda meant that all of the Council ageed with him. But it light of your vignettes, Yoda might not be including himself when he says "the Council." That's a possibility I never considered before.

    ?But which was destroyed,? he asked the rising smoke, ?the Master or the apprentice??

    I always like how right after he says that line the camera pans over to Palaptine. Of course, I never noticed this until after Episode II came out...

    Patience, we must have, until the muddy waters clear.

    Another great line. But, by that time, too late it will be.
    [face_alien_1] (<-- Yoda)


  20. Noelie Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 11, 2005
    star 4
    Interesting vig Sourderwan.

    I have to tell you that for my part when I watch episode I am reminded of many groups that were formed with the best of reasons, and yet have not changed, moved, bent with times.

    The Saducees and Pharisees of ancient Israel are a couple of groups that come to mind. They are told, they hear, but see as those "telling" them as rebellious. And yet by some our beliefs their very conformity had them miss the greatest of all messengers. It is the same with the Jedi. They hear a message.. and yet miss it all together to their doom.

    Closer example and I know I have mentioned it in other places. If you read even fanfiction, not just pro-fic, folks are really quite at a loss to explain how Qui-gon is rebellious. He seems the Jedi's Jedi and quite frankly the problem that George has explaining to us, his writers and even himself is seen in the Movie "Amadeus". This does have bearing on my thoughts so stay with me :)

    But there are still folks out there thinking that movie is an "Accurate" description of Mozart, and I can tell you as a music major at one point, my studies told me he had a few quirks, but nothing as flamboyant as that movie made him out to be (case in point: he was inordinantly proud of his own luxurious hair: wigs wweren't his thing!)

    But you see like the Jedi, Mozart lived in a society where to conform was the in thing. How could we in this day and age where everyone thinks it is cool not to "conform" how Mozart would stick out like sore thumb in his time and place?

    Qui-Gon already doesn't "conform" in this great body of conformity by his particular talent in the force. He doesn't conform in his natural ability for compassion and understanding, his need to reach out to those around him when the force tells him that something is right. He uses methods that seem funny to us, "ah you wild man" sort of reaction, but that isn't really what bothers the Jedi. The looks that go on betweeen him and Mace during the movie never fail to make me smile. The actors portray this rather tenuous relationship well.

    So there are huge long discussions about it on the boards, and yet in our time where we think that to be special is to be unique and different, we have a hard time relating..

    I am intrigued by your painting of Mace, .. I might actually feel kindly toward him after this vig.. lol :)
  21. Souderwan Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Jun 3, 2005
    star 6
    Author?s note: Bonus this week everyone! I?ve written the next vignette. Sorry for messing up the schedule but my life has gotten hectic so I have to write when I can. I may go ahead and post it beta-free and let the GrandAdmiral yell at me later?[face_thinking] I haven?t decided yet. At any rate, this is the second to last vignette. Next week?s post will complete Descent Into the Dark. I thank you all for your continued support.

    Now?on to replies! :D


    Arcalian: Wow, didn't expect you to go all the way to TPM with your flashbacks. Well done.

    Thank you. Actually, the vignettes will pace all the way up to RotS/FotS.

    GrandAdmiralV: Well, Souderwan, if you've got too many plot bunnies running around, you could always loan Kaine to me for a while. You know how I love to write romances with bad guys.

    LOL! I would be honored to entrust the good Darth Frigeus to your capable hands. You can write all you want about his many romances on Haruun Kal. :p

    You'd think Obi would have tried to remember his own times as a padawan when he was dealing with Anakin.

    You could say that about any number of parents who forget how difficult their own teenage years were when they raise their own kids, no? And many times, kids feel like they?re not being listened to even when there?s nothing further from the truth. I?ve always viewed the Master/Padawan relationship much as I do parents and children?.

    It's really terrible the Obi-Wan had some sort of precognition about Qui-Gon's death, though. Talk about the proverbial blessing and curse!

    Indeed! It would seem that many Jedi suffer from this ?blessing?. I think it draws a very clear distinction between Anakin and Obi-Wan in how they react to the visions.

    Um...is Tatooine what I think it is? Or am I going crazy? I'm not going to write my theory here in case I sound like a total lunatic, but....

    *chuckle* There were a few others that drew the same conclusion a few posts back. You?re not crazy. It was never an accident that Migruna III was in the outer rim and had twin suns. ;)

    I get such a better idea of what was going on in Yoda's head, and why he was so adamantly opposed to Anakin being trained as a Jedi.

    It was something I needed to understand myself and tried to explore in writing this story. I?m happy that it helped you as well. :D

    This was a lovely detail, and very well done. It really put me into the moment, and let me know so much about Mace's emotional state without getting all angsty about it.

    Thanks! :D

    Baby_Death_Star: ?it works so great no matter if tieing to AOTC/ROTS or AOTC/FOTS.

    Thank you! I always wanted to write the story so that it connected well to the PT while planting seeds regarding FotS. It was imperative to me that the story be plausible in either context. I?m happy to hear I accomplished that.

    ... I don't want "DitD" to end!

    Neither do I, really. But alas?even stars burn out. :p

    Or perhaps another following novel could please my addiction?

    Well?there is a novel waiting to be written but it will have to wait for a bit.

    For those of you interested, the next novel will be the last in this trilogy. The story is called Edge of the Darkness. I won?t start that for at least a month or two though.

    When we?re all done with DitD, I?d love it if you posted a word file for the story as well (or at least email one to me as I?ve lost mine! :oops:). Thanks! :D

    SHADOW_MASTER_W: Thanks!!

    Lord_Zeron: I think this one was longer than the others, but that's a good thing, imo! And quite an appropriate chapter title as well.

    It was longer as is the next one. There are many segments to them, so the length was unavoidable. I?m glad you didn?t mind. ;)

    That sounds exactly like something Qui-Gon would say. The good ol' "pay attention to the here and now" philosophy.

    Yep! I?m glad you agree. And?of course, Obi-Wan later gi
  22. Souderwan Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Jun 3, 2005
    star 6
    Author's Note: This is one's a little longer than the others. Hope you all don't mind. [face_blush] It also represents the second to last epilogue. The next post--sometime next week--will be the last update to DitD. :D

    Epilogue?

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~The Face of the Dark Side~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    ?Reach out,? Yoda called to the group of younglings. Several of them moved their lightsabers in haphazard ways, trying desperately to keep up with the movement of the hover droids. ?Sense the Force around you.?

    A droid dashed in front of Liam, one of the older but less gifted of the children. He tilted his head as if listening to the hum of the droid?s movement, and then moved his lightsaber to center on, where he clearly expected the floating machine to be. It was not. A gentle burst of energy struck the boy on his hand. Impressively, the boy did not squirm in response, despite that being the fourth time he had been hit during the session.

    Yoda shook his head. ?Use your feelings, you must.?

    The boy seemed to recognize right away that Yoda?s attention was focused on him, because he quickly nodded in acknowledgement and did a better job of pretending he was not listening to the device?s movements with his ears. Yoda smiled inwardly. Every padawan class had at least one youngling who did his level best to circumvent the blast shields that were lowered over the face in order to obscure the eyes and compel the student to rely on the Force. Yoda chuckled as he remembered how a young Qui-Gon Jinn had snuck into the crèche training area the night before to drill a hole in his helmet?s solid face plate for him to see through. The boy?s embarrassment at having been caught in the act was enough to spur him to reach his potential.

    Yoda watched the children continue to struggle with the exercise, smiling. On the edges of his consciousnesses, he sensed the approach of the young Jedi Master. From the corner of his eye, a flash of brown Jedi robes confirmed Obi-Wan?s presence. He tapped his gimer stick gently on the marble floor to get the children?s attention.

    ?Younglings! Younglings!? he announced. ?A visitor, we have.?

    The class quickly lifted their face plates and looked up at Obi-Wan respectfully as they deactivated their lightsabers. ?Hello, Master Obi-Wan,? they said in unison.

    Obi-Wan smiled. ?Hello,? he responded, nodding briefly. He quickly turned to Yoda. ?I?m sorry to disturb you, Master.?

    Yoda could sense the puzzlement and turmoil that swirled about Obi-Wan, though the young Jedi Master was doing an excellent job of keeping it well hidden. ?What help can I be, Obi-Wan, hmmm??

    ?I?m looking for a planet described to me by an old friend. I trust him, but the systems don?t show in the archive maps.?

    Glancing over at the padawans, Yoda raised his eyebrow and the corner of his mouth. ?Mmmm?.lost a planet, Master Obi-Wan has.? His smile widened as the younglings began to giggle. ?How embarrassing?how embarrassing.? The giggles turned to laughter, and Yoda grinned in earnest when he saw even Obi-Wan relax into a genuine smile.

    Glancing about the room, Yoda settled his gaze on Liam, who was doing his best to not be seen. ?Liam, the shades,? Yoda ordered, smiling, as the boy?s face flushed bright red. He turned to the rest of the class. ?Gather around the map reader. Clear your minds?and find Obi-Wan?s wayward planet, we will.?

    The room darkened, and a small sphere that sat on a thin, cylindrical console came to life. Instantly the space was filled with a hologram of the entire galaxy. Bright orbs of various sizes and colors representing stars, systems, and planets lit the chamber.

    Immediately Obi-Wan walked through the hologram and went straight to a darkened area in the Outer Rim, just south of the Rishi Maze. ?It ought to be?? he pointed at empty space, ??here. But it isn?t. Gravity is pulling all the stars in the area towards this spot.?

    Yoda pursed his lips, contemplating the implications of the only likely answer he could come up with. He glanced at the students, w
  23. Arcalian Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 13, 2005
    star 3
    AOTC stuffs from Yoda's POV. Explains stuff in FOTS as well.

    Ah yes Souder, so many writing projects coming your way, no? *grins and rubs hands*
  24. Lord_Zeron Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 19, 2005
    star 2
    Wow.

    Souderwan, I think you just reached a new high.

    Wow.

    THAT WAS INCREDIBLE! I always like to save your stories for the end of the day, something to look forward to, and I have to say that once more I am not disappointed. Exhausted, yes, but not at all disappointed. All of the little details and insights you slipped into that are far too numerous to mention, but I loved each and every one! Or each one I found, that is.

    I also liked all of the connections between Yoda and Anakin, and the way you descriped how the Jedi Master can relate to the Chosen One. As I read Descent into the Dark, I realized that Migruna was to Yoda as Padme/Shmi were to Anakin (reminds me of a standarized test question), though the way you wrote that made it seem much more... impactful? I'm not sure quite how to describe it, it was like a flood of emotion and awe.

    There's so much more I want to say about the vignette, but my brain's still whirling from the sea of feelings it just felt. All I can say is excellent work, and now, more than ever, I can't wait to read the last vignette. I don't care if DitD would've been the worst Fanfic I ever read (which it wasn't; quite the opposite in fact), just getting to these epilogues would be worth it.

    Keep up the good work!

    Your grateful reader,
    Zeron

    =D=
  25. Darth_Vastor Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 24, 2005
    star 1
    Wow, I missed the chance to respond to three excellent posts during my layoff! Luckily, I was able to read them all, and can now give them the response they deserve.

    Mace responded with a curt bow of his head. ?On the few occasions that I?ve looked for shatterpoints in other Jedi, their major fault lines are always connected to the Order.?

    Yoda nodded. ?Expected, that would be. For the Jedi, deeply connected to the Order, we are. Know what to do without it, most would not.?

    ?Yes, I can see that.? Mace looked away to the far side of the chamber. ?There are, of course, some Jedi who have a much looser connection to the Order, if at all?Qui-Gon Jinn, for example.?

    Yoda raised his right eyebrow. Convinced that no response was required, Yoda chose to remain silent.

    ?But you?.? Mace breathed out and returned his gaze to Yoda. ?You were so blinding in the Force, I couldn?t see any fault lines?.? Mace looked at the floor.

    Yoda waited.

    When Mace said nothing more, Yoda decided it best to press him. ?Unlike you, it is, to be so unsure of yourself, Mace. What else, did you see??

    ?That?s just it, Yoda!? Mace exclaimed, his tone more frustrated than Yoda had ever heard. ?I?m not sure what I saw!? He screwed up his face, as if searching for the right words. ?Deep beneath the layers and layers of light, I saw?a?blemish. It was barely there. A dark spot?no?a?void. I don?t know what it was, but I know that it was your shatterpoint.?


    This is a great insight into why the Jedi are inevitably defeated. I like how you portray Yoda as being surrrounded by the light, yet the experience through which he suffered is still with him. Barely perceptible, but still there. It makes a great deal of sense that Yoda's shatterpoint would not be connected to the Jedi Order, when he has learned that other ties are more important.

    ?I don?t suppose you would allow for the possibility that your friendship with Master Windu might be blinding you to the danger he poses to himself, would you??

    It's been mention several times before, but I greatly enjoyed the vibe of Dooku as the reepectful, dutiful older brother, and Mace as the more open, free-spirited brother who is loved all the more for his uncoventionality. It offers us a chance to follow part of the path that drove Dooku to the Sith.

    Yoda?s mind swirled. Closing his eyes, he sank into the Force, pulling the image of Anakin Skywalker to the forefront of his mind. Fleeting visions appeared and vanished in a maelstrom of imagery. Yoda tried to discern some pattern, but none emerged. Breathing even more deeply, Yoda dove farther into the currents of the Force.

    There.

    A shadow.

    It followed the various pathways the boy?s life would take. The kaleidoscope of possible futures halted in a single office that Yoda did not recognize. Mace Windu stood above the Shadow, his eyes ablaze. The boy watched the Jedi Master intently, but did nothing.

    The image vanished.

    When Yoda opened his eyes, he felt a surge of pain in his hands as his nails dug deeply into his palms.

    The other Masters were staring at him.

    ?Master Yoda?? Mace whispered, his face full of concern.

    Yoda waved his hand before him dismissively, then locked his gaze on Even Piell, the Jedi Master who seemed to lead the group most in favor of training the boy.

    ?He is too old,? Yoda said emphatically. ?Train him, we will not.?


    I especially enjoyed this scene, because it gives an insightful perspective on Yoda's part for exactly why he was so adamant that Anakin should not be trained. It's amazing how Yoda alone seems to be the only one able to get any read on the currents of the future. Likely, it was the trial of coming back from the dark that gave him such foresight.

    Yoda fumed. ?Have to do nothing, but outlive you all, I do!?

    [face_laugh] That was just a great line. Cranky, stubborn Yoda. Yet it does carry a greater meaning, as GrandAdmiralV pointed out.

    His connection to the boy began to fade as the Light descended on Anakin and w
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